The more i dress the more i want to be out a bit with family or friends.I'm getting tired of the closet.It use to be enough but now i want to be me which a lot of the time is still a guy doing guy things but more and more the girl wants her freedom to be herself . sometimes i feel like dressing and saying what the heck this is me too and just go for it. I'm not going to but why is it so hard to hide this .It never use to be Justabit
was that way for Me and I suspect a lot of the other girls who post here--only one cure for it and you know what it is--you have to have the courage to open that closet door.
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I know what you are going through I feel the same way. Jocelyn
Been there, done that. And I mean done that. Came out to most of my friends, my parents, my grandmother...just not my sister, yet. But even that urge is getting stronger. I'm lucky to be surrounded by supportive and accepting people. I wouldn't necessarily recommend coming out as a plan for everyone, because some people just won't accept it, ever. You just have to do what you think is right...will your friends and family accept who you are? If you think so, then nothing should stop you from coming out.
"Why are you wearing those stupid girls' clothes?"
"Why are you wearing those stupid mens' clothes?"
--Adapted from Donnie Darko
For me, going out en femme is not a desire at all, i know I'm not passable, and for me, going outside in public means interacting with others, smiling, being open, sharing moments, even with strangers, i can not do this is i would be worried about trying to pass, or being looked at sideways, cant get acceptance that way, but odd looks, and a sense of rejection. Hardly a fun outing. I enjoy making connections with people as myself. Even though Chantelle is myself, its a part of me that will not be accepted, so im fine with that. Cant change people, or want them to change and make conections now can you
Last edited by Chantelle CD; 06-19-2007 at 11:06 AM.
what are you scared of big men / women like you hideing you look better than i do for gods sake ...i wish i had the body of you girls... i would be in heaven ... and i am the one thats out ... whats with that !!!! just do it
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Justabit, we don't all publicly present as our femme "alter egos". Many here are comfortable doing so, judging by the numerous posts of our "out and about" sisters. As for myself, I'm perfectly content to enjoy this facet of my personality sans company.
Although I've only been out dressed a few times on Halloween, I have at times considered doing so without the holiday cover just to experience the "rush" others have spoken about. Problem is, if I like it too much, I'd want to keep doing it. Next I'd be "pushing the envelope": tweezing my brows, piercing my ears, shaving my legs, having my past shoulder-length hair colored and styled; in other words, I wouldn't be satisfied 'til I was "all in"!
For me, self-imposed moderation is the key. Only you know how far you'll ultimately be willing to go. If you've got the itch, sooner or later you've got to scratch.
Hard to hide? Maybe harder not to. Only you know the answer. The closet may just be too restrictive for you. Perhaps a different locale for starters? Life's too short to be lived unfulfilled. Follow your instincts.
How about coming to one of the many conferences? theres a great one for "first Timers" at www.transeventsusa.org. Click on the Lake Erie Gala
[SIZE="3"]That's me!! Now that I have gone out a couple of times I'm hooked and I can't believe that I waited this long to do it!!
[SIZE="2"]"Tell me why I can't where a mini 'kilt' to work?"[/SIZE][SIZE="3"][/SIZE]
The closet's very small and the world's very big. Looks like you're ready to fly, little one,Originally Posted by justabit
Mitch
At this point, I have no desire to come out of the closet. I know I can't pass, and if I don't look good, then I don't want others to see me. At this point I am content doing this on my own.
I did not go out the first time because I thought I could pass. I'm a six foot guy and draw attention no matter what I wear or who does my make-up. I go out because I want to go out as Kristen and enjoy myself.
Just having two nights out in Vegas at restaurants, going to a bar and playing slots at the Sahara was a dream come true. Sure I wanted to look good at these places but never did I realistically say, I'm going to pass as a female tonight.
Once I got out a few times this year, my closet got way too small and now getting out is easier. Not easy....but easier.
Go for it.
YOU have to feel the time is right to go out in public. There is no special sign that will tell you it's okay. That decision must be yours, and yours alone.
I recall a time about 5 or 6 years ago now, a closeted sister came down to Houston from Toronto for a visit. She wanted to go out dressed, but didn't have the courage. I made a deal with her because I could tell from her voice that she had decided she was ready. I told her I would meet her en femme and we would spend the afternoon together as such.
When I arrived at the meeting place, I waited outside for her, I should mention that I had selected a very T-friendly area and place to meet so she would not feel so apprehensive, until she arrived. She got out of the car she was riding in with our friends, came over and gave me a hug. My new sister buried her head in my shoulder and cried tears of joy because I had given her that little extra nudge she needed.
Kandis
To me it's no big deal anymore. I was out last Saturday and got my first negative reaction. No big deal.
So far I have been out at night about four or five times. Out in broad daylight several times.
I drove three hundred miles on the highway and stopped three times. Never anything worse than a stare.
My friend Teresa and I went to a "Cracker Barrel" in Ohio and got a good reception from one of the greeters.
It's all in the walls that we put up around ourselves that keeps us hidden.
Now get out there. I'm sure you could find another girl for mutual support.
I'm content just to do it behind closed doors, myself. I don't really want others to know, but I'm self-conscious and not a social person anyway, so going out dressed I would probably die from nerves! I have no desire to out myself as yet, and I'd be happy to just be able to dress at home whenever I want.
it takes time to build confidence but wonce you opne the door look out it will never be the same
susie
My main concerns in going out would be:
1) Someone I know recognising me.
2) Getting beaten or mugged from people who hate the LGBT community because I'm different. Hell, a few weeks ago an acquantances cousin got beaten severely and had to be hospitalized after leaving a gay bar. He wasn't in drag or anything. If I were in drag, I could only see it ending worse.
I would also be worried to a certain extent what strangers might think, but only to a lesser extent. I'm sure once I was out I'd be able to deal with THAT.
I'm feeling the same way more and more these days, can't wait till I can start my new life and not have to pretend to be anyone but who I am!
The closet is a safe place for most closeted crossdressers. Though I yearn to dress more times en femme and would like to outwardly express it i am ok as a closet cd'er.
Besides I am content with life and very happy with my role as husband and father and professional.
dress secretly bother no one.
emmi
ya i wish i could go out also but i want more and more to be a real women and yet im a straight man. just everything on a women is so majestic and beutiful. im slowly getting more courage though today under my sweats i wore nylons and was tucked it was awsome!!!!! when im tucked it feels sooo good and i feel more like a women. but back to question i wish i could come out to the WORLD!!!!
Justabit, IMHO -
Could it be you are a caring person??
If one is prepared to deal with the reaction from all their family, friends and anyone else they respect, I guess they're ready. A lot of us aren't. I too want so much to be open but have held it back 42 years now. The breakage was far too great to justify a "Me first" approach. There will be a lot of girls who will say "Just do it!! It's your life." And while it's true it is your life, I don't think a caring CDer would disregard the feelings of those around her, that love and care for her on so many deep levels. What price are you willing to pay. I didn't want to afford it.
Hugs, Andi
I think as you dress more often and more completely you find yourself becoming more comfortable with how you look and how you feel. Being a long time CD I am definitely more comfortable and feel more natural when dressed as Dawn and would rather dress that way than in my male things. If you find yourself looking good and feel good about yourself it becomes easier to go out and about as your fem self and actually want to be that way longer and longer.
Ill add to this, because i think its my feelings as well...
I am very intuitive, being spiritual, i can sense what others think, i can feel it, and even though judgment is wrong, it affects me!!! Though i dont go out of my way, to gain acceptance, i feel there is no need to throw fuel into a fire, i enjoy connecting to people, and feeling there respect coming back to me, this gives me energy, i cant get that if there thinking after i leave "omg!! that was a guy, what a freak" even though there wrong in thinking that, it is wrong for me to judge them as well!! Even if it was 100% accepted in the world, i dont think i would go out in public dressed, i was born male, comfortable male, but enjoy flicking that switch, and expressing and feeling pretty in private, i dont need or want to be a female all the time or have approval for that witch is a part of me.
Some of us just dont want to go out enfemme, some of us are happy being male, and get joy from it, Different strokes, for different folks i always say. Dressing for me is a personal thing, not a public thing, But it has tought me to see the beauty of woman so much more clearly, and appreciate them all the more, and in many ways.
I am also a Closet CD. But just because i dont need to go outside being en femme. I choose being a male, i am more comfortable and better suited as one. but i love CDing in my private, personal time. The only one i came out to is my SO, who rejected it at first, but she is getting more and more curious about it.
I knew she wouldnt like it at all, but we were moving in together and i didnt want to cheat her.
Kisses,
Mariela.
I agree with the more you dress the more your desire grows. I would live to also get out of the closet but know I would not pass outside not to mention the repercussions if I got caught by my wife. I must live right now through the adventures of others. Keep them coming...
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