Comments in the office

[KimberlyS]

We have a fairly relaxed work environment as we get few clients in the office and then we have notice if they are coming. So our dress code is, well what ever. So in the office I am always in jeans. Well I had my gall bladder out last week and my first half day back wearing jeans was more than enough with the waist right on my incisions. So I have been wearing loose fitting shorts. Well a guy co-worker and I were talking about this and my surgery in general, when a gal co-worker walked in and jumped into the conversation. She had hers out a year ago and had the same issue, so she said that is why she wore dresses all the time after wards. I joking said, well maybe I should do that. And the guy quickly followed with "you don't need to be doing that around here" in a very strong tone. And the topic and discussion changed. I was not surprised by his response, and I debated to say it or not.

If I had pushed the subject it would have been an interesting and good discussion as many other topics have been with him. But I would have also been outing myself to be able to have the discussion with him.

I guess add that one to the will not accept list. As I know having a discussion with him and outing myself would most likely not change his mind.

The interesting thing is I have known this guy for almost ten years and even do things together after work. He is a great person, husband and father with great morals, for the most part. He is also the the type of person that would walk up to a CDer in the mall and confront them. But his up bringing is, well put it this way his dad was the only person that has been literally in my face, 2 inches nose to nose, about my pierced ears. There is a lot of education to be done with many people. So many in society are stuck in this Male Or Female thought pattern.

[Marla S]

That's an interesting story.
It would have been interesting too to push the subject, but I probably wouldn't have either.

Lot of education to be done ? ... well ... considering, what hard times we have ourselves to scrutinize the common patterns implanted in our minds, I am not too optimistic that there will be a change any time soon for those that have no need for it.

[MJ]

well a good friend of mine said to me if your a man then be a man but!! if your a woman then be a woman ... none of this back and forth crap ...

QUOTE :- So many in society are stuck in this Male Or Female thought pattern.

so here i am a woman .... no problem
it is hard when some people just don't understand or want too for that matter .. the best we can do is try to teach them ...

[KimberlyS]

...Lot of education to be done ? ... well ... considering, what hard times we have ourselves to scrutinize the common patterns implanted in our minds, I am not too optimistic that there will be a change any time soon for those that have no need for it.

Marla, I agree change may be slow, but it is changing. But everyone's mind will never be changed. There are still those that feel the wrong side won the civil war.

well a good friend of mine said to me if your a man then be a man but!! if your a woman then be a woman ... none of this back and forth crap .....

.... so here i am a woman .... no problem
it is hard when some people just don't understand or want too for that matter .. the best we can do is try to teach them ...

MJ, I agree the best we can do it try and teach them. It makes it even harder for me as I am still trying to teach some CDers that it is ok to be a "guy in a dress" type of CDer. Even many CDers are stuck in this Male or Female image rut.

[MsJanessa]

some people see gender differences as absolute---others do not---most of the people who post here cross the gender line on a regular basis---it sounds like your friend's dad and your friend see that as a wall without a gate.

[Sharoncd]

I had an interesting conversation with one of my co-workers. I have always felt that she had an open mind . One day she was telling me about her ex and then she said "and he is a crossdresser". Wow I guess her mind is closed to the subject.

The whole thing is that education is needed. We are just normal humans that has a need to dress and feel fem. Everybody has something that is odd and most keep it to themself. But when they see somebody different from who they are then all of a sudden we are the worst thing that they have ever seen.

I would have played the game with him playing the other side. Then telling him that he is a little narrow minded and that you took the position to show him that.

Shaorn

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Wouldn't it just be poetic justice if you found out that this guy is actually a closet crossdresser? This may be his way of coping with it by being overtly aggressive against the thought of it. I know many of us that have done things in our past to hide who we really are, thats why we have many ex military and macho kind of career people. You just never know whats under his disguise. I would have jumped all over his statement and said what will you do when I come in the office in a dress because by your statement I have to challenge you on that one. Anyway friend what really does it matter what any of us wear to work we are all still the same people youv'e worked with for years now? wear the dress tommorrow and let us know how it goes! Hope everything is going well with your operation

[KimberlyS]

MsJanessa, I would just say my friend and his dad are just very very very conservative. But interestingly both of them had periods in their life where they were very very different people.

Sharon, I agree much education is needed and it needs to start with us. We some how need to educate others. And I agree everyone seems to have something they do not want others to know. And often my CDing is minor compared to theirs.

I have played the game with him many of a time. But it seldom changes anything as he is very set in his conservative ways. The conversation just becomes a conversation of views, and while he is respectful in that there are other views, she is not going to change his.

SANDRA MICHELLE, I have thought others at times when I have talked with them may be closet CDers by what and how they say things. Even my wife at times has said to me, "He could be a CDer". If this guy is a cder he is going out of his way beyond, above and beyond to hide if he is a closet CDer.
But he does have the body and feature he would look good as a CDer.

Thank you everyone for your comments.

KimberlyS-CD