And so the saga concludes, until the next installment!!!! Luved it hun! What pace! Really glad you got the things first though!Originally Posted by unclejoann
And so the saga concludes, until the next installment!!!! Luved it hun! What pace! Really glad you got the things first though!
Pet peeve: not be able to put on my girl clothes!
You should get a PO box for future purchases. Just put down your femme name as someone to accept mail from. I tell them Tabitha is my step daughter and nobody asked any more questions. I have even received a UPS package at the USPS box and I don't know how.
Another tip for easy purchasing online is buy the Visa gift cards at the gas station or grocery store. I find the fee costs about as much as buying a bunch of money orders and is easier to use with purchases such as Pay pal and you get your items faster. Just login to the cards website and put in your femme name and po box as the cards address. Works great and I haven't had any issues yet.
Tabitha.
First off, I am glad that it worked out OK for you this time hon, but, one sentence in your reply here really set off warning bells in my head. I don't know if this is a joke, or for real, but the thing about your "boyfriend" made me blink there! Being in the closet with your dressing when you have a non-supportive SO is one thing, but having any kind of relationship on the side is, as far as I am concerned, way out of bounds! Maybe I am just old fashioned, but I took my marriage vows very seriously. If my wife hadn't died, I firmly believe that we would still be married now, even though she was not supportive of my dressing. Just my
Live in the Present.
Forgive the Past.
This reminds me of my PO box mistake,, Big mistake. Even tho my wife had known about my dressing for years, I used a PO box for recieving mail order stuff. Well I must have clicked the wrong shipping option when ordering a wig and it was sent UPS instead of regular mail. UPS called the house and left a message that they cant deliver to my PO box. My wife called me mad as hell wanting to know why I had a PO box ? I will leave out the other details of that conversation since I dont need any more bad marks on my member history here and there is a church just a mile away
I had recieved wigs at home before, but it was easier to use the PO box than it was to hear complaints about my buying stuff. That was my only answer to my wife and it didnt go over well. My wife fealt I was being dishonest by using the PO box and it took a long time for her to stop bringing it up once or twice a week. That was maybe 5 years ago, I dont buy nearly as much as I used to,, running out of space, I dont hide my clothes, never did but now if I want something that has to come in the mail it comes here at home, I may take a little heat but for it but its nothing like the PO box dilema !
Cindy
Jo I am happy you have been sparred, I was not sure were to send the flowers...HaHa
On the road of discovery ... learning to be the woman I have always been.
Http://photobucket.com/viccy
If it is coming though by the mailman call the postoffice and have them leave
no packages for you and to let you know that it is a surprise for you wife
And just how does your wife feel about you having a boyfriend? Or is this another deception on your part?My boyfriend also lost a lot of sleep last night worrying about this problem.
I am in suspense. I'm glad it all worked out with the package and the PALS do seem like they would work well. I've seen some but not worn them.
but do tell.....boyfriend?
oh, so the boyfriend has become the issue here
what is a bi sexual supposed to do?
i love my wife, my life, myextended family .... but i want a man in my life
so what am i supposed to do?
i have a boyfriend
who also has a life and family and ...
straight is easy
gay is easy
bi is pretty darn difficult
please respond
I've never really thought Bi meant "had to have both", just that it made finding a date that much easier before I settled down with someone. Honestly I think both people in the situation should know about each other. A non-monogamous relationship can be done with honesty.
Personally, the person I had to hide packages (or anything) from wouldn't be one of the people in that picture but thats just me.
I've met some for whom needing both was the case. There was an interesting episode of recently axed womens tv show The Catch Up on married men having casual gay sex or romantic affairs and it seems a lot more common than a lot of people realise.I've never really thought Bi meant "had to have both", just that it made finding a date that much easier before I settled down with someone.
It would be a difficult situation to find oneself in. Can you be certain that you would lose these things if you were to be honest about your needs?
Many counsellers make a point of regularly going to counselling to balance the effect their work can have on their own lives (This is where the ubiquitous Neitche quote about staring into the Abyss comes in). Dentists and doctors see fellow dentists and doctors too.. so I wouldn't rule out the effectiveness of counselling just because of her profession.Couple counseling with my wife? Great idea, except that is what she does for a living! She IS a counselor.
Last edited by battybattybats; 06-23-2007 at 08:49 AM. Reason: forgot a word
well I think what you ought to do is at least get a private mail box someplace that just you have access to since you can't have stuff sent either to your home address or to your boyfriend's place---you do have My sympathy---leading two lives is very stressfull and exhausting---Maybe you could benefit with some counselling yourself---w/o your spouse. BTW your photo in your avatar is very attractive---I would reccommend a new wig, however to go with the PALS---you can get some very nice human hair ones and/or synthetic ones at HISANDHERHAIR.COM at VERY reasonable prices.
[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
thanks MsJanessaa for the tip on wigs, I will definitely scrap the blue one
counseling ... ok, I will look into it.
The issue is not the boyfriend, it is the deception, and I am assuming what is a broken promise of monogamy.
Thanks Renee, that is exactly the issue in question.
well, maybe we should start a thread asking how many of us have broken their vows. but to me the issue really is how to be bi. if you are straight or gay, you can choose one person and it kind of handles your sexual orientation. But when you are bi, you just aren't going to be complete with one (unless it is a very unusually supportive one). so what do you do?
this is a serious question. GLBT will ultimately have to solve the problem of the B. it is not easy if you are basing relationships on a monogamous model. i would love to hear a solution to this one.
Sorry Joann, but being bi does not give one carte blanche to have an affair. The bisexuality is irrelevant. It means you find both sexes physically attractive. You are married, right? So what difference does it make if you have an affair with a man or a woman? It's still an affair.
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]
Well said
You admit your bisexuality to your partner, and attempt to work out an arrangement that includes safe sex and otherwise satisfies both of you. You do not deceive your spouse and break your vows in lieu of an arrangement. If you can't make an arrangement with your spouse or can't find a spouse who is willing, that's tough. Plenty of guys have desires they have to shelve when they get married. It just depends if the marriage and the associated promises are worth what they give up in return.
Don't you have enough respect for other people, and especially your chosen life partner, not to lie to them? That's personal integrity...
I agree!
okay, this is lame, you have already come out to her..why hide then? she already knows , she's just in denial. If you can't change this part of yourself Why pretend you are someone you aren't?
Do you like living in a false reality?
Is this a fun way to live your life?
I would expect for most people the answer would be no. Maybe not for you. Truthfully you should think about counseling. I don't see why everyone is advocating you stay in the closet, it does not seem like a healthy way to deal with reality.
That's my
Well I am not bisexual, I am straight. I am married. I am attracted to women. does that mean I can have an affair with another woman but not a man?
I don't understand your reasoning here. How does being bisexual give you the right to have a wife AND a boyfriend. Oh, your wife knows about your boyfriend? Why didn't you say so? That puts a whole other light on the subject. That seems OK to me. You just have an open marriage. Now I understand.
Stephie
Nope, re-read 'em just in case. No admission to the wife of extra-marital hanky-panky thus far. Do we have the whole story? Does she? What about "forsaking all others"? Seems that's a cornerstone of marriage; did I miss something?
OK that didn't actually roll me QUITE off the bed onto the floor laughing but it was in fact Out Loud. (as they say.)
Dee looked over I read 'em to her and we both liked them in them progressively more in the order you posted them.
Vincent Vega: Well, I confess that I wait to talk, but I am trying to learn to listen. (paraphrased)
Barbara's Blog
I started this thread with another "almost got caught" story and since my last entry here have gotten a real moralistic slam from some of you. I suddenly hear "is that how you want to live your life?" I thought I had read stories on here before about leading a deceptive life, hiding our girlie clothes from wives, wives that don't understand us, and all that.
I told my first two wives about crossdressing and about having occasional sex with males. The current wife has been so negative about the dressing (and many other things where I have an independent opinion) that it just isn't worth trying to talk about these things. At this time in my life I consider myself lucky to have a real boyfriend and not just an occasional one-night-stand.
You do what most of the rest of the world does, you make the choice! If you're hetero, you choose one woman. If you're gay, you choose one man. If you're bi, you choose one! Just because you are attracted to either sex doesn't mean you get to have both. When you got married you made your choice. If she is up for an open marraige, that's one thing. Your dressing is another thing entirely. It doesn't break your vows and it is something you need to do. Dating or having an affair, however you classify this, is just wrong. Just because we aren't for the most part accepted by main stream society doesn't mean we don't have the same basic moral core that everyone else has. If you want to be supported by good people, you have to behave as good people yourself. Obviously this is not a black or white issue, but you are not being fair to your wife, your boyfriend or yourself. Suck it up and be an adult for gods sake!
Sally
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