Deaf friend and my crossdressing..

[chantelle]

Today, just as my best friend comes to me, i sign to him that i bought new clothes.
All good up to this point. The problem survices when i show him the top that i bought. Holding it up to my chest i proudly show him this gorgeous top. Orange and v neck and all that. Voila do i see a frown on his face when he sees the butterflies in gold embroidered on the front.
Lol. His surprise was bigger than mine as i forgot up to this point there has never been a sign for me being a transgenedered person. He stood there and just looked amazed. I was , well he should understand, the plucked eyebrows and shaved chest should have given him a clue up til now.
For a long time , i allow him to think that i am gay. Should i correct his thoughts or just leave it at that.
What is the sign for crossdressing btw?
Hugs
Chantelle
*Back , loving and hugging all over the place*

[Kieron Andrew]

well he should understand, the plucked eyebrows and shaved chest should have given him a clue up til now.

I think it is/was wrong to assume that he should 'understand or have a clue by now', he may not have ever met a trans person before, you would be surprised the amount of people would not put two & two together, and believe it or not men are less likely to make that assumption than women, hense him thinking you are gay.....Depending on his reaction after you showed him and the direction in which you took the conversation thereafter, I think you should at least apologise for startling him and check that he doesnt have any questions for you......I think now the only possible thing to do is be open and honest about things as you have already outed yourself anyway

[Lilith Moon]

I'm not sure what is the relevance of your friends deafness to this question. The same considerations apply as with any other person. If he is not homophobic then there's a fair chance that he may not be transphobic either but you know him better than we can which means that you are better qualified than we are to decide whether or not to explain yourself.

[GlitterGG]

The relevance of the deafness is this: It's difficult to impart to someone, in their language, what a crossdresser is when you have no clue what the word for crossdresser is in that language.

Chantelle, I'm not sure what the sign for crossdresser is, but there are several deaf schools out there, what I would do is contact one of them, and ask them. They may be able to tell you. If nothing else, sit down and write your friend a letter, and if necessary communicate through writing until everything is talked out. Just MHO

[Alice B]

You must discuss it with him. Since there are no signs to explain cross dressing, write things down for him to read and to set the stage for discussion. He is a special friend to you and likewise you to him and you do not want to weaken the friendship.

[chantelle]

Alice, thanks for thos kind words. I was not trying to indicate to those that have answered here that i think Deafness and crossdressing doesnt go hand in hand. In explanation, it was a spur of the moment decision, i did to show him the top. I was excited. (Who hasnt been). Just what shocked me was that he was the one person that did not know. I am so used to everyone knowing that trying to sign in my shocked condition, i did not have the right words to explain.
The letter idea sounds great.
Hugs Chantelle

[trannie T]

When I came out to a friend I simply told him I was a crossdresser and he knew what I was talking about. I enjoyed Chantelle's language barrier. How can you explain something if there is no word for it?

[Lilith Moon]

Yes, GlitterGG's advice sounds good to me....write a letter.

[Kerry Owens]

If you know how to fingerspell, you could simply spell it out, I am thinking since you already are aware of ASL...just use the fingerspelling to communicate the concept.

[mylitta]

Came onto this a bit late- sorry. I have spent many years communicating with the deaf community (teaching and interpreting), and there's always a way round if you don't know the sign. Just explain: I'm not gay, I like to wear feminine clothing, or 'I feel like I am female inside' or whatever your truth is. Then I'm sure your friend will show you what the sign is.

[Kathleengurl]

no formal sign in ASL but signing "x" then "skirt" or signing "skirt" w/ the "x" hand works for most.