I wanted to post this as I want to have an opportunity to try and give the GG’s an opportunity to express their side of the story. I've found more and more that I get worked up reading many of the threads relating to SO's in the MTF forum. To me it seems that so many of the people on here are so quick to pin all the blame on the SO's. Now I'm not saying that everyone has this attitude, some of you give fantastic "balanced" responses trying to highlight how a situation may be seen from both the CD’s and the GG’s point of view.
HOWEVER, I seem to see a lot of threads and responses where it's all the SO's fault. I've got to admit that yes, sometimes the SO may have acted in a less than desirable way but why does it have to be all their fault. For the vast majority of us, we haven't asked for this to be part of our lives. We didn't actively choose to become involved in CDing. And yes it's true that we could walk away from the relationship/marriage just because of the CDing but in all honesty most of us are in far too deep for that to be a simple option. For us GG’s on here, I think the very fact that we are here on this site shows that we are the ones who trying to accept this part of our partner's personalities but it's not that easy.
I see so many of the CDer's talking about how we should just accept their CDing unconditionally because if we love them we should accept them for who they are. But don't they see that it's that fact that causes the problem in the first place? If we didn't love them it'd be easy to just walk away, but because we do love them we struggle on desperate to try and accept, but of course there's going to be a few backward steps down that road to acceptance. I'd very much like to see how well many of you would cope if the boot was on the other foot and you found out your partner was a FTM CDer! I very much doubt you would be the perfect SO immediately. Think about how you’d feel that you’re lovely woman all of a sudden wanted to act and dress like a man. Give it some serious thought for a while (but you must also be in the mind set that you are not a CD yourself, you’re just a bog standard everyday guy) and then perhaps it might help you understand how we’re feeling.
So I guess my point is that I sometimes wonder why I'm on this site. Have you never thought that it may be slightly hypocritical to talk about us accepting you all the time when you can't accept that an SO may have a difficult time accepting your CDing? Most of you have had years to come to terms with your CDing, yet you expect us to be able to accept in a much shorter space of time. Don't you often talk about how you were racked with guilt and confusion initially... Isn't it obvious that some of that is going to be the same for an SO?
I guess the real purpose of this thread was to try and highlight the plight of the SO. It’s not easy for us and it upsets me to see the number of “SO hate threads” that I’ve recently read.
Finally I’d like to finish and just say that this is not aimed at all CD’s on this site. Many of you are fantastic, but it just concerns me that a growing number seem to only be able to see things from the CD point of view.