Witnessed Something for the First Time

[Rainbow GG]

Hey everyone,

I haven't had a lot of posts since I joined this forum, but I have been so busy lately. Anyway, I am her because my SO CD's. I accept him and support him through everything, and his CDing is actually something I enjoy with him as well. I am very curius to learn more about it, and I have been since I've been her,e reading all the posts and threads.

Tonight I was in Target and I was walking past the makeup aisle, and as I did so, I turned my heard towards it and saw a man standing there, alone looking at all the makeup. He was looking at it all and reading the packages very well. I can't say 100% that he is a CD, but I believe that he probably is, and it was just amazing to see him shopping, not even flinching when I walked down the aisle.

That was the first time I've ever seen a man shopping for anything like that, except for when me n my SO are out shopping together (hes still very quiet about it yet).

I guess what I am asking all of you ladies out there, is that if and when you do go shopping for makeup, or anything else, like bras, panties, clothing in general, etc., how do you go about it? Do you just walk in there an go down the aisles and do your thing and not care about other people? or are you more cautious and try to hide what you are doing?

Rainbow

[julie08]

Well, yesterday was the first time I bought anything not online. I first went to WalMart, and the first place I went by was the makeup. Since there were people there, I kept going and pretended to look at other stuff. A few minutes later I went back down and since nobody was there, did some very quick shopping and left.

Today I went to Walgreens and was a little less nervous. I was looking for makeup remover. I couldn't find it and the lady asked if I needed help. I actually asked her where it was and she showed me, but thinking it was for my wife (at least that what she lead me to believe).

It's no big deal and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Clothing on the other hand might take a little bit to get the courage up for. I haven't done that yet.

[Nylonkaren]

I tend to shop and mix things up. Some male, some female and that way I think they just fogure it is for my wife as well. I have bought only feminine things a few times, but while travelling and feeling like an unknown in that town.

[Glenda58]

When I first started I would walk up when no one was around. Then I start getting the nerve to buy cloths and say they were for my wife. Now I go dressed and shop for everything. Try things on in the fitting rooms. Get makeup from Estee counter with the SA helping me with what colors look good on me.
So I guest I just grew into buying things.

[teresa jeen]

my wife and i enjoy the thrift store, her for clothes me for tools,shelves and such. after about third time waiting for her {UGH} i went with her and started telling her how pretty this was or how it wouldnt fit me anyway she figured it out and now we go shopping all the time.she still hasnt seen me enfem but with a 7 yr old g-dau. its hard to say. we have been married 37 yrs. (actually 7 ) but we both feel we have been togther for 57 or was it 37. love you clyde!!!

[pattysues]

I can say for my self, yesterday that I talked to two different sales girls to see if they had my size in thong type sandles. I asked the first girl if they had a set on the wall in a size 11, she said you know these are ladies. I responded with yes. And told her what I was looking for. The second girl at a ladies foot locker said she has a had a few guys come in and buy shoes. This was with my wife and youngest son with me. But I have bought a dress or two by my self. Neither girl seemed to care and were nice about helping.

[Bobbie cd]

Hi Rainbow,

It can be pretty daunting for those of us raised with the traditional concept of what a guy should be to go into a store and buy feminine items. Most of us start off slow, skulking about whenever the aisles seem empty. Of course, most of these stores have security cameras watching the place at all times anyway, so chances are someone is watching at any given time even if no other customers are in the aisle.

Eventually, though, we come to accept what the more experienced shoppers here (like our heroine, Karren Hutton) have said, which is that the stores just want our money. They generally just don't care who buys what, as long as your credit card authorizes or you have enough cash.

And if some other busybody in line wants to snicker about what you are buying, who cares? If it isn't someone you know, why should it bother you what they think? Just tell them to reel their nose back into their own business and stay out of yours!

[sandra-leigh]

I guess what I am asking all of you ladies out there, is that if and when you do go shopping for makeup, or anything else, like bras, panties, clothing in general, etc., how do you go about it? Do you just walk in there an go down the aisles and do your thing and not care about other people? or are you more cautious and try to hide what you are doing?

You can tell when I'm shopping for womens' clothes because I'm looking at the clothes more carefully than most women do

I don't quite shop "like I own the place", but I don't hide what I'm looking at (or looking for), and I'm too busy looking at the merchandise to worry about who might be watching.

About the only exception is "intimates": there are relatively few place so-far that I've felt comfortable in asking to try on bras, or bustiers or the like, and I don't think I've ever asked to try on panties. I don't hide that I'm looking at them, and will ask SA's if I don't see the styles I'm looking for {*}, but taking it from there to asking to try on is not the easiest step. Along the same lines, I found it a bit tough to "look seriously" through the womens' bathing suits until I made up my mind that I was Just Going To Do It: once I'd convinced myself to start looking, I didn't have any problem. (Once started, I even went to a swimwear specialty store that was mostly womens' suits -- and was given perfectly reasonable assistance in choosing a one-piece.)


{*} If it's a department store, chances are that if I ask about a style, I'll have to explain what it is -- the young clerks especially just know how to sell what they have in stock, and don't usually know very much about bras!

[Kate Simmons]

I usually just get what I want matter-of-factly and think nothing of it really. I don't think of it being any stranger for a man to be looking at makeup and lingerie that I would of a woman looking at tools in the hardware section. Just me maybe.

[Sheri 4242]

I just shop. Period. If an SA asks if I need some help, I usually say no b/c I usually don't. BUT, if I do need help, I'll ask. No big deal!!!

Oh, ok, some of you will recall my story about the time in Atlanta where I was in a "give 'em a shock mode" and told this SA at The Gap -- who had complimented my choice of a skirt "for my wife" (her words) and could she help me find a couple of tops that would go with it -- that just why did she think the skirt was for my wife and not me?!!! After she was through blushing, she went right to helping me pick out several tops I hadn't seen, and another skirt. Don't know if she worked on commission, or was just judged by poduction, but it had to be a big day on her sales number!!! (I like the "shock 'em" mode every now and then.)

Normally, I just go quietly about my business. Just yesterday I was shopping in Victoria's Secret. Had one SA ask if I needed any help, which I politely refused.

IMO, those who make up excuses make themselves obvious to SA'a and those of us who might be shopping for the same reason -- so that is one thing I quit doing years ago -- I mean, the SA's have heard it all, so I think it would be a dead give-away if, when a SA walked up, you immediately launched into anything like, "I'm shopping for my ______."

Hey, it truly is NO big deal!!! That said, my wife and I have become more active in watching people over the last few years. When I was through at VS yesterday, I walked down the mall and met my wife at Macys (where we got two great dresses -- one for each of us -- on sale). Anyway, my wife was telling me about this guy that had been shopping in there the whole time she had been shopping and how he was just too insistent to explain to the SA's why he was shopping for feminine clothing. She said she was positive he was shopping for himself just b/c of his over-the-top demeanor.

My best advice: shop! It is no different than if your wife went into the men's department and shopped for pants or shirts, or underwear. Nobody would think a thing of it!

[sandyl2sc]

While I don't buy makeup,(have mustache and goatee) I do buy nail polish and perfume at the drug stores. I have no qualm about buying intimates at department stores. However i haven't got the nerve yet to try on bra's, I know my pantie and bra sizes so I figure they will fit. I buy my shoes at stores like Target and Payless (SO says I am a cheap *******); yes my SO knows i dress. I figure that many SA figure I am buying things for my SO or gal friend. I think sometimes when a guy is buying womens clothes his attitude may give him away. just my

PS I love to lose the facial hair but its part of my persona at work; one has to eat.

[monika40]

Dear Rainbow,
In the beginning, I believe it is hard for a guy to buy girls clothes, especially intimates. However, once you get over the fact that the store doesn't care what you purchase, they just care that you pay for it, it becomes very easy.
So, go out get what you need and enjoy.
Monika40

[teresa jeen]

me too sandy if i could i would. thrift stores are the best thing invented!!! you can roam and brouse all you want, model them and giggle to your hearts content,why pay retail when the starvation army has what you want at a much cheeper price.(notihng against the SA.)live life for today tomorrow isnt promised!!!!

[Stephenie S]

Most of us feel soooo alone at first, but as we gain experience we realize that we are not alone and that most SA (because they are there all day, everyday) have seen it all and heard all the excuses and just bloody DON'T CARE, we get used to just shopping. We have EVERY right to shop for ANYTHING we want, at ANY time, ANY where. So, after a while it just becomes second nature and many of us just get up in the morning, put on our clothes, have breakfast, and go shopping.

After a while you get to know how to shop. Many, many men have NEVER shopped for clothes. Their mothers buy them clothes until they get married, and then their wives buy them clothes. So to ask them to go into a lingerie department and shop for a bra is a bit of a stretch. But after a while you get to knoe what to do and how to do it. Especially if you really want that pink pushup bra. How else are you going to get it if you don't go into the store and ask for it. Most women grow up learning how to shop. Many men don't, so be patient.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Julogden]

When I was more active, lived in the city (Chicago), I just went about my business, bought what I wanted, whenever or wherever I wanted. There used to be a chain of stores called Cosmetic Center, if I recall correctly (or something like that), I was one of their best customers, must have bought a couple tons of makeup there over the years.

I don't dress much now, so I don't buy that much stuff, 99.9% is purchased on-line, it's so convenient, I can't help myself.

But if there's something I want from a local store, I just go buy it.

Carol

[Linda C]

When I first started reading this post - I thought that it might be me - but it wasn't. I went into Target today a bought some makeup and a mini-dress and I notice some GG's looking at me - but if you move quick - nobody really notices - I think?

[Angie G]

Well I just go in and do it when my wife and I go shopping I pick things out for me like threr for my i don't care
Angie

[Sweet Jane]

Hi..does anyone ever notice...well yes we do, because we a "tuned in" to things like this, but others just really are just getting on with life. I often buy makeup, underwear and clothes, and no one ever gives me a second look...I think we feel far more vulnerable than possibly we should..maybe we should just get out there and get on with it!!

[Stephanie-L]

I was in my fave store yesterday (Avenue) and decided I had been a good girl and deserved a new outfit. I went around the store and picked out a skirt, cami, and top. The SA asked me if I needed any help and I said no. When I had picked out everything I tracked down the SA and asked to try them on. She didn't even blink, said "Of course" and led me to a dressing room. I tried everything on, found that I needed the larger of the two skirts I had brought in (blech) folded everything up, got dressed in my drab clothes and headed to the counter. I was sidetracked by a cute pair of red peep toe pumps with a low heel that I had to try on, found a pair that fit well, and threw them on the pile. When I got to the counter the SA treated me the same as all of her other (female) customers, rang me up, and off I went. The good news was that everything was on sale and I paid about half of what I was expecting. This is the same store where another SA has given me advice on finding a skirt I was looking for that they didn't carry, but a competitor did. All of this has taken place while I was in drab, and obviously shopping for myself. The more experience I gain in shopping the less nervous I get.....Stephanie

[Kiera20mi]

Still working up the courage to go out dressed. Hopefully i can muster up some courage!!

[valery]

When you buy one piece of womens clothes or lingerie the people will think that you buy it for your wife or girlfriend. O.K. the saleswoman might get the story by the dress size. Nearly the same story with make up - my experience:
- one lipstick = no problem, they won't even notice you
- standing in the line with a handful (that's me, I can't help doing it) of powders, lipsticks and eye-shadows etc. = some people will have a closer look at you trying to figure it out.

When I started to buy my own stuff I usually only bought on piece at the same time because of that experience and I also did play along when the saleswoman tried to help me to find the right thing for my "girlfriend".
Today I usually try to go out for shopping at the right time when the shops are not so full and often I drive to a different city - feel much more free then. For my make-up I found a small drugstore in my neighborhood. They found out about me (different story) but as there are only open-minded, lovable girls working there supporting and protecting me I don't have to make a tour for my make up since that time. It's interesting to see, that if the saleswoman is dealing with this sitiuation as if everything is normal, nobody will notice you.

Buying clothes is always a trouble-situation for me with the fear to be caught red-handed. I'm very particular in my search and also like to look through the whole collection, so grab, pay and run is no option for me and I usually can't help but buying much more than one article. I never try anything on. So when I pay at the cash desk with plenty pieces of cloth or lingerie in my hands the saleswoman and also the people around will get the story. In a foreign city I don't care about and on a good day >when I toy with the idea: "O.K. get caught in a trap and put it finally behind you"< I don't even care in my hometown. Good-natured salesperson often know how to handle such sitiuations, these are the right shops to put on the personal leaflet.

I think lots of CDs buy all their stuff online - I don't because I wanna have a close look to find out about quality and feel before I buy it.

[Mollyanne]

Me personally, I just shop for what I need(want), I really don't care what other think. For example; I went into Macy's last week for three pairs of pantyhose(Hanes Silk Reflections) I found my size and color and went to pay for them. When the salesgirl was ringing them up she said to me "Are these for your wife(smirk on her face) I looked her straight in the eye and said"No, these are for me". She appeared alittle stunned but finished the sale. I walked away feeling really satisfied, oh yes I also stopped by the lingerie section and bought panties and matching bras.


Mollyanne

[RobertaFermina]

I am so done with looking over my shoulder and worrying.

I have done the ordeal of going to an SA for advice on makeup enough to transform it into a fun way to connect with people who are there to help.

I am a valued customer, and I shop like one !

When I am dressed, I shop with even more confidence !

Roberta

[SatinDoll00]

I manage a high-end retail store. My particular product line doesn't really lend itself to gender...but I know many retail managers and assistant managers and so forth. I asked a friend of mine that manages a Journeys (great casual shoes...PROPS!) if she, or anyone else, really gave it a thought as to whether males were purchasing for themselves or SOs. She basically said they don't care one way or the other. They work on mostly comission, so you could be buying shoes for Osama Bin Laden and they wouldn't care.

Most stores assume that you are buying for someone else when you are in drab...unless it is obvious, or you make it so.

She did tell me that guys that come in enfemme are not too uncommon, but that she or her staff would never make a big deal out of it.

Considering the experience I had at a local shoe store today...I am not so sure I believe her, but I must admit, I have a slight crush on this particular lady (goddess, she is the hottest thing I have ever seen), so I believe anything she tells me

*for the record, I am married and would NEVER cheat on my wife.

Morgan

...one lesson I have learned...working in a mall.

Don't Sh*t where you eat.

I have completely stopped shopping at the mall I work in for fem items. Loose tongues do wag.

Morgan

[psion128]

I've actually bought clothes at the walmart before. I would buy men's boxers and right along side of it, would be a pack or 2 of panties. I don't think the cashier really paid any attention because I could of been buying that for myself and a family member or what not.
I'm less anxious about buying from a retail store if I am buying for my "normal" attire along with what ever femme clothes I'm getting.