CDing an alternative to Drinking?

[MarinaTwelve200]

About a week or so ago I read a post from a CD who mentioned that due to a home situation, a few years back, could not CD and had started to drink.

For some strange reason that statement struck a chord with me and I began to think. Could it be that some people with drinking problems have CD urges that they use drinking to supress? ALSO, and most importantly, could CDing releave and address the SAME stresses that drive other individuals to drinking?---(I am talking here of the "escapist" type of CD who CDs to "relax" rather than the "fem sider" CD who CDs to express his fem side)

My father had a "periodic" drinking problem. Every few weeks or so he would go on a drinking spree for a couple or three days, and be sober the rest of the time. While I am not personally adverse to liquor, I never had that problem and have only been drunk a few times in my life. I noticed that MY urges to CD follow the same pattern, time wise, of my fathers drinking sprees.

Could it be that my own discovery of and practice of CDing serve the same specific stress releif function that my father's drinking did for him?----Furthermore, could CDing possibly be used as a more healthy substitute for drinking for those psychologically addicted to the alchohol habbit?

[Tina P Hose]

It is a possibility, but if I were to go out dressed I would be so uptight that Iwould want a drink. Perhaps I should take small steps and dress at home with no drinking. But I look so much prettier when I drink

[paulaN]

Well Marina all I can do is tell you about me. I drank for some 35 years. heavily for the last 15 or so. when I stopped drinking (for good) almost 4 years ago. My cding really came on hard and I mean hard. I still can not seem to get enough girl time. And also due to my age (I just turned 50) I don't care who knows about my cding. Well I do, but I just want to be me. That's why I keep my legs and pits shaved, Because I like it. So I have to say that maybe drinking and cding have got something to do with each other. At least for me.

[daniisummers]

being repressed drove me to drink for a bit but now i stopped

[angelfire]

I drink heavily, but I do it because I choose to, and do it with friends, not because I am running from my problems. I have set rules so I do not become an alcoholic. For example, I will not have a single drink unless I am with friends who are also drinking.

Also, to prove to myself I am not addicted, I haven't drank in nearly a month, just because I chose not to. It'll be a month as of August 7th. I am going to a party which will have a lot of booze floating around on the 4th, so that will be the real test, but I should be fine. If I can resist it when around lots of people also drinking, I know I am fine.

I used to smoke marijuana though a few years ago. That I definitely did to escape my problems and frustrations. I quit that and haven't looked back though.

[Myst]

Week-ends are reserved for partying, the rest of the week is when I make time to dress. If I could combine the two, I would in a second, but I know that wouldn't go over well with the g/f!

But for those who need a deterent from a drinking problem, CD'ing is a mighty fine alternative in my opinion! I know if I had to choose one or the other, I would easily quit the booze.

[Kris]

I would much rather have someone I cared about CD and not drink! I am not an addict of any sort but know that addiction kills people.
CDing and staying safe, (in numbers and stuff) wont kill you.

I think that if someone is a cd at heart and are repressed of course turning to a mind altering substance to cover up their pain sounds reasonable.

My wish that someday it will be okay to be yourself... no matter who and what you are.

Kris

[Sugar]

Sweet words honey, much appreciated.
Though I can relate more than I would like, it just seems that smokes and whiskey are my only friends at the moment.
My wish too, that someday we can all be who we are and what we want to be with out all the hassle and grief.

sugar

I would much rather have someone I cared about CD and not drink! I am not an addict of any sort but know that addiction kills people.
CDing and staying safe, (in numbers and stuff) wont kill you.

I think that if someone is a cd at heart and are repressed of course turning to a mind altering substance to cover up their pain sounds reasonable.

My wish that someday it will be okay to be yourself... no matter who and what you are.

Kris

[BarbaraTalbot]

My occasional (in secret) crossdressing was disclosed and talked through and explored by a compulsivity group I attended years ago and by psychologists in one on one sessions, It was kind of discarded as not really particularly relevant because I didn't seem obsessed by the behavior I took no risks if and when I did it and didn't seem to indicate any orientation issues.

Since I started considering dressing, even before I actually assembled some clothes, I found a decrease in desire for other problematic behaviors. Once my SO was and with her help I was able to fully dress including make-up and wig, I found it very easy to describe my feelings, and work through them healthily. This was ALWAYS a challenge for me. I found that I used to have to look at a poster that listed feelings on the wall to pick some relevant ones. Initially it occurred to me that by obsessing a bit about this emerging feminine persona I was merely substituting one behavior for another. It struck me though that as this behavior did no harm, it was worth it. I find though that as I settle into a comfort level with being Barbara at times, that I almost feel I can take it or leave it which seems healthy.

As I said though time and results will tell.

[Marianna Julianna]

Makes no difference to me, I just don't drink and never really have whether dressing or on a dry spell, what I do when I can't dress is comfort eat, that's what I have to watch.

[Phyliss]

But I look so much prettier when I drink

There's an old Country , Western song that says, .."The girls all look better at closing time..."

Used to drink rather quite a bit, ( stopped doing that [one day at a time] in Jan of 1978) I guess I'm kinda changing my "complusive" nature to my CDing.

One thing I do know is that alcohol is a very good cleaner. If I start using it again, it'll "clean out" my marriage, my job, my house, my dressing .
Just can't have that

[Marla S]

Could it be that some people with drinking problems have CD urges that they use drinking to supress?

Wouldn't surprise me.

ALSO, and most importantly, could CDing releave and address the SAME stresses that drive other individuals to drinking?

I doubt that.
Alcohol is a non-specific stress plaster.
CDing addresses certain specific needs.

CDing can build self-esteem, alcohol detracts from self-worth problems.

Could it be that my own discovery of and practice of CDing serve the same specific stress releif function that my father's drinking did for him?

Depends on what you mean by stress.

Furthermore, could CDing possibly be used as a more healthy substitute for drinking for those psychologically addicted to the alchohol habbit?

Maybe in very rare cases when alcoholism is caused by suppression of or heavy doubts about CDing.
In general I doubt that, because CDing only solves a specific problem and alcoholism can have various causes.

[Katrina]

CDing definitely de-stresses me in the same way that boozing it up would, so I agree whole-heartedly. I have thought for a while that shoe shopping is kind of a therapy for me (in drab or enfemme). Not the purchasing of shoes, but the act of shoe shopping (and trying on).

[Toyah]

I have a drink problem I cannot get enough, must be on my own here I crossdress and drink at the same time ask Tamara !!!!!!

[SatinDoll00]

I have a drink problem I cannot get enough, must be on my own here I crossdress and drink at the same time ask Tamara !!!!!!

On some days, I begin my day as Morgan by drawing a nice hot bubble bath and enjoy that with a glass of wine, or a sour apple martini, or a cosmo. I come out of the bath completely clean, relaxed, and in full fem mode.

I try not to get drunk while dressing, because I do it when my wife is not home, but usually, she will be home later. Wouldn't really be a great idea to have her come home to me sloppy drunk and dressed as a woman!! (Hehehe...imagine THAT argument!!)

I have to say, when dressing, I don't really drink the same things I do when not dressed. I have a stronger urge to drink 'girlie' drinks when dressed. I guess that is some kind of extension of my female urges.

Well, I still enjoy a good beer regardless of how I am dressed!!

Morgan

[Violetgray]

I agree with Marla. I can see it now.

Recovering alcoholic:"Doc, I really don't want to hurt my loved ones anymore, I want to make a better life for my family and I, but this addiction is so strong that I'm having a hard time abstaining. What can I do?"

Doc:"Hmm.. put this dress on. Here I'll zip you up in the back."

Recovering alcoholic:"Um, have you been drinking too?"

People are like computers. In order to be influenced in a positive manner by cd'ing, you have to have the pre-installed tranny software.

All in all though, cd'ing is still a much better indulgence than drinking. You don't see people passed out on the street cross-dressed, panhandling to get their next mascara fix. Or, being pulling over for D.W.E. (driving while en femme), and having to do a masculinity test.

Anyway, the purpose of the alchohol is to suppress the need, not replace it. That having been said, if it comes to a choice between drinking and dressing, just put on the skirt already!

[KandisTX]

Okay, I'm a recovering alcoholic with 23 years sobriety under my belt. I've been crossdressing for 32 years. Nope, can't see any correlation there.

Anyway.. back to the "Masculinity Test for DWE" that VioletGray posted about. Would they make you recite the "Git'R'Done/You might be a redneck if..." skit from Jeff Foxworthy and Larry The Cable Guy? Or would it be a test to see if you can belch and flatulate on command??? How would they test for something like that?

Kandis

[Cheyenne Skye]

Just from my own experience, I would have to agree that for some people CDing could be a replacement for alcohol. (even though I don't drink) Both seem to be obsessive-compulsive related. I have other obsessions and when I focus on them, the desire to crossdress wanes. The converse is often true. When I crossdress for a few days in a row, I don't think about my other obsessions as much.

[Ashly]

Hell....NO !!!!

[Kendra Irene]

I have been a diabetic for years and was starting to miss that occasional drink. Six years ago I took up crossdressing and haven't missed drinking since.
Remember to always put away that drink savings, in order to buy some more skirts and tops.

Do you think that this reasoning will help my wife to better accept my dressing ?

Kendra

[Sheri 4242]

Marina,

Very interesting and thought-provoking thread -- of course I wouldn't expect anything but from you!!! (I told my SO you were, IMO, the "resident scholar," amd that I was but your mere apprentice!) Anyway, I come from a family who have had more than their fair share of alcoholics. In my h.s. and college days, I probably single-handledly kept the breweries working 24/7/365 - lol. I realized where my drinking was heading, though, and I'll bet I haven't had more than an average of 1-2 drinks a year IF that many, over the last three decades. (Well, except the time I was in Paris about 10 years ago -- found a place that made the best LIT's in the world and indulged myself greatly - lol!)

Anyway, to the theme of your thread, I see three possible variables. First, people with drinking problems that have CD urges that they use drinking to supress. Second, it would seem logical that there are those for which the reverse is true. And, to add a third variable, it would also seem that since alcohol lowers inhibitions, there could be a cause and effect in that area -- IOW, the person who is a CDer, but hesitant to dress, but does so when under the influence. I thnk you are on to something -- and I guess I basically just restated what you were saying!

I find it interesting that you basically differentiate between binge drinkers and daily drinkers. I had an aunt who was the former, and an uncle who was the latter.

You ask two significant questions: "Could it be that my own discovery of and practice of CDing serve the same specific stress releif function that my father's drinking did for him?----Furthermore, could CDing possibly be used as a more healthy substitute for drinking for those psychologically addicted to the alchohol habbit?" My first blush answer would be, to the first, 'yes,' and to the second, 'maybe.' I stop short of saying a full-fledged yes to the second due only to the addictive nature of alcohol with alcoholocs. What do you think? This could make for a highly interesting, if not extremly significant, research project.

I do know that in my "younger days," there were many times that alcohol helped give me the courage to CD and seek out acceptance -- but that is complex unto itself and I'll share that with you a different day.

Anyway, GREAT thread!!! I hope it will lead to some significant studies!!!



~~~~Sheri~~~~

[Shiny]

Naw, to me it's apples and oranges, although the "mind masters" at most clinics and universities lump these two concepts/practices into the OCD (Obesessive Compulsive Disorder) range.

I mentioned myself once long ago in a "stiletto heeled, chiffon whirlwind" wobbling around with a drink in each hand late one afternoon after dressing with nothing else to do in the house all alone. But that is a rare occurance, usually.

What is different is, as you have a few drinks it changes your attitude and maybe even your brain chemistry for that matter but it doesn't change the underlying cause for the CD phenomena. It just makes you feel different and have more trouble with garters, straps and things after a few drinks!

Now! However! Another substance does make a difference and I have only done this once by being dressed and smoking some "herbal jazz cigarettes" as Paul McCartney calls them. That was a rush!! Time slows, the drinks flow to curb the dry throat but at the substance takes over you regress to your party/college days then when you decide to call it a night you look down and realize, "HEY! I'm wearing a dress!" Then you notice the perfume, the feel of the fabric of the dress against your lingerie, how smooth and silky your legs are in those tight nylons and how you teeter and wiggle on those impossible high shoes then feel the rush again like it was the first time! Then you get this wave of embarrassment like you were in a crowd, even though you are all alone and then you rush to change back! Different! I don't do it anymore but the last time was dare I say, staggering?! Quite impressive actually and, another avenue of thought!

I hope this doesn't get censored like the last time! Stimulants and depressants are a fact of life and I am not condoning their use! I am just noting and passing along information!

[trannie T]

I am a retired drunk, no booze in over ten years.
I started crossdressing long before I quit drinking (actually, before I started drinking.) I see no corelation between drinking and crossdressing.
Drinking and crossdressing serve entirely different areas of my personality. It was not necessary to drink for me to dress nor was it necessary for me to dress to drink.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Of course I never meant to suggest that ALL cross dressing may have a relationship to drinking or not drinking. There are different reasons for and different kinds of crossdressing. Obviously, if one CDs due to gender issues, the drinking relationship would be different than for one who CDs to releive stresses based on identity such as "escapist" cds.

I think that in cases where a person drinks to get away from himself and isolate from personal concerns, worry and problems, CDing will do just as good a job---and a lot more healthy. I discovered CD before drinking and it serves to let me dissasoiate me from my self---by letting me effectively become someone else. This lets me "let go" from my own concerns associated with my normal male self. The TG element also serves to disassocioate me from the "obligations" of "manhood", resulting in even MORE stress releif. Drinking "to forget", so to speak. serves a similar purpose, and I think "escapist" CDing serves the same function for those those who need such releif. I learned CD FIRST so I didnt need to drink to "get away" from me. A drinker---most likely a "binge type" may not have discovered CD or refused to participate. Yet his drinking has the same effect as the CDing. They are two different ways to achieve the same temporary personal disassociation as a stress releif technique.

Daily drinking likely has another psychological purpose and may not work as above, as is "Fem side" CD where the purpose is to express one's "real" "fem self" We are not talking about personal identity disassociation here but an embracing of another personal identity and gender. CD and drinking may not serve a similar purpose in these cases.

[valery]

Could it be that my own discovery of and practice of CDing serve the same specific stress releif function that my father's drinking did for him?----Furthermore, could CDing possibly be used as a more healthy substitute for drinking for those psychologically addicted to the alchohol habbit?

In my personal point of view it's possible and current that someone drinks to suppress his CDing(to hide himself).
The other way around, to get away from alcohol by CDing will only work in this particular situation when this person used drinking to supress his CDing.

I can't see that CDing serves the same specific stress releif function that drinking does, because it's based on totally different motives and actions and also different social and cultural aspects.
CDing is a kind of to act out one's feelings, it can be a sexual thing (fetishism) or a pre-stage for changing your gender, or a combination of all those aspects and lots of other reasons as we can see in this forum.

The use of alcohol the way you did describe is based on the function to hide, to mask, to forget, to get away from sth., to protect yourself to fail etc.
It may sometimes have comparable effects (stress releif function) but you can't really compare it.
If we would do, we would give a lobby to the people who think that CDing is a learnable or catching mental disease.

If you're not a CD there is no chance to get addicted to it, that's the main difference to alcohol. CDing is no addiction.
Alcohol is a (chemical) drug, with action on your body and your brain. It has chemical effects on your nerves and body substances that you can't control and you might get adiccted to.

The combination of CDing and alcohol (or other drugs) for me has the same basic-reasons as it has for all human beings.
The thing is, that the use of alcohol is based on the specific reason why and how often (how much) somebody drinks.

The primary reasons and effects, without the claim to give a complete overview, because it's too complex:

1. social aspect / party, birthday, friday night out with friends etc.:
That's usually the entrance for everybody to drink alcohol and many people get quite used to it, drinking constant or everyday and then go along with point 2, 3 and 4.

2. physical aspect / to relax, to calm down etc.:
It's accepted and actually often stimulated by society and advertising - after a long stressful day ... when they relax with hard liquor in front of the fireplace. Inadvisable, but still acceptable, if it's not turning into a regular-action based on other causes and then turns out to be the entrance card to addiction.
Frequently at this point the meaning changes and many fool themselves by taking it as a reward - so it is "in return for (job) performance", also used as an alibi and that's when it get worse and goes over, or is allready based on the next point(my personal experience).

3. psychic aspect / to hide yourself, to cover pain/fear, protect yourself to fail, to pluck up courage to do something etc.:
These are the typical and main reasons we all know. What many people don't know, is that the meaning of "to hide yourself" is comparable to the behavior of kids, when they cover their eyes and think that they're invisible, after they've done something bad or when they're afraid of something. There is also the aspect of "being paralyzed" in that.
For grown-ups this is not working (cover your eyes to be invisible), so something else like alcohol is meant to put itself to this function. Sounds strange but it really has the same basic function: If I'm completely drunk I can't even find myself, so I mask myselves out (be out of pocket).
As example for "being paralyzed": Stars (sport, music) often use drugs because of the fear that they could fail. If I'm too drunken to act and my manager has to cancel the show, I will get a lot of trouble, but I can't fail, so there is a hidden function in that. In psychology you will also find a lot of examples that people, suddenly break their arm, fall ill, or have psychosomatic diseases shortly before an examination or "public appearance"

4. addiction
Usually a mix composed by 2 and 3 when someone is no longer in a position to find other fixes for his problems.

I did 1 to 4, so it's my personal experince here - without the claim of universality


I've mentioned that before - I'm not a native speaker, so if anything sounds strange please give me a hint and don't judge me to hard