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Thread: When people see you as a guy and ask why

  1. #1
    Senior Member Emma England's Avatar
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    Question When people see you as a guy and ask why

    Do you feel the need to offer justifications?

    Supposing someone asked why are you wearing a skirt.
    At this time of year, a reason could be that the weather is warm - too hot to wear pants.

    Or if someone asked why wear makeup. The answer is because it enhances the look of my face.

    So what about wearing a bra?

    I have read on different message boards, that most women will choose to wear whatever clothes they like, without attempting to look like a man.

    But why would a cd wear a bra when there is no need to? I personally don't feel dressed without one. It is just difficult to explain to people who have never met a crossdresser before.

    I tend to wear a bra to bed even though no one is going to see me (not even myself). It just feels right. Why I do not know.

  2. #2
    Toyah Toyah's Avatar
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    why dont you just say you are a crossdresser ????

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toyah View Post
    why dont you just say you are a crossdresser ????
    dang it you are too quick Toyah!, i agree....most people wont even believe it anyway and just laugh it off lol

  4. #4
    Toyah Toyah's Avatar
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    Ha usually you are quicker tho

  5. #5
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Actually, I tend to get it the other way these days. When I go up to the club to have fun as Rich, people will ask me where Sal is. I usually tell 'em I put her in the closet for the night or I didn't feel like shaving or some other simple thing. These are gay guys and lesbians no less. What they do not know is that a lot of times I wear tighty whities under my dresses.

  6. #6
    Member bobi jean's Avatar
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    I agree. It took years for me to realize that, I AM A CROSSDRESSER is the only appropriate answer. Some one just ask you, why you are wearing a bra. Believe it or not, they know you are a crossdresser. Since the time a cousin asked if I shaved my legs, I have been slowly realizing that when confronted with any question such as this, it is, in most circumstances best to just be up front. 1st off it will make you feel better, 2nd, The truth is always the best answer, some times it does hurt a little but that pain is nothing compared to getting caught in a lie, especially if that person is someone you care about.
    On the other hand, If that person is a complete stranger to you, s/he should not be asking the question in the first place, and I for one would, without reservations, let them know that it is not any of their business, but yes I am wearing a bra because I love the way it makes me feel when I am unable to dress up like I REALLY WANT.

  7. #7
    T-something Marla S's Avatar
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    Well, a good answer is always: Why not ? or 'Because I like it'

    Hard to imagine that people are able to come up with a profound answer, except for the usual prejudices we all know.

    This could lead to a nice discussion, but at least reverses the need for justification. I think TG folks sets itselves and is set by far too often into the defensive position.

    We don't need to justify who we are.
    Like 'normal folks doesn't need to justify their existence.

    @bra. I don't wear them, because I don't need them (have neither real nor fake boobs), but I feel naked without wearing a top or chemise. I go swimming only if I wear a top and wished most other men would do too, because it just looks less ugly.

    Other than that. I think a bra is THE high symbol for femininity (that's why bras were burned in the past, and why it is a very important piece of clothing for most CDs)
    Last edited by Marla S; 08-01-2007 at 10:11 AM.

  8. #8
    Once a Girl,always a Girl Dita_B's Avatar
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    No justifications...Just because I like it...

    Quote Originally Posted by Emma England View Post
    Do you feel the need to offer justifications?

    Supposing someone asked why are you wearing a skirt.

    Or if someone asked why wear makeup.

    So what about wearing a bra?

    I have read on different message boards, that most women will choose to wear whatever clothes they like, without attempting to look like a man.

    But why would a cd wear a bra when there is no need to? I personally don't feel dressed without one. It is just difficult to explain to people who have never met a crossdresser before.

    I tend to wear a bra to bed even though no one is going to see me (not even myself). It just feels right. Why I do not know.
    I was asked that very same question, while I was in a store en femme browsing for female clothing, as I have posted in one of my reports about my outing experiences. I just answered: "Because I like it". and the man said: "I would never do a thing like that, but I guess it is your choice". I said: "Yes it is" and that was the end of the conversation...

    Just tell them the truth. When you say you like it, there is not much more a person can ask or say, right?

    So ,no, I don't offer any further justifications. And IMHO if you chose to wear a bra, that is further nobody's business. Just do it and be happy.

    Dita.

  9. #9
    Tracy in New Mexico
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    I often tend to act stupid and give stupid answers. My response would probably be that I have a wife my same size (yeah right - at 6 foot 2) and was helping to break these clothes in for her. Only when I have shopped, a couple of times the clerk asked who I was buying it for and think I told them my wife, the other time just said nothing and quickly changed the subject. But I agree with the above that honesty is the best policy because when we go into denial we dig deeper holes for ourselves to climb out of.

  10. #10
    Rainbow Rennie Butterfly Bill's Avatar
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    My near universal answer to strangers is, "Because I like to."

    In my signature is another answer I often give.

  11. #11
    Ms. New Booty angelfire's Avatar
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    I got asked about buying a nightie the other day actually. The cashier was like "What is this for?" and my answer was *shrug* "Something to do."

    I also like the "why not?" answer.

  12. #12
    Member Annette_boy's Avatar
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    asked

    When asked why I answer 1) I like it and 2) this is me and 3) why not it is comfortable
    Annette
    "It takes more courage for a man to appear in public wearing a dress than to charge into battle"

    Me July 2005

  13. #13
    Senior Member Robin Leigh's Avatar
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    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Emma England View Post
    Do you feel the need to offer justifications?
    I used to. Now I prefer to offer education.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dita_B View Post
    I was asked that very same question, while I was in a store en femme browsing for female clothing, as I have posted in one of my reports about my outing experiences. I just answered: "Because I like it". and the man said: "I would never do a thing like that.
    But would he CD if you offered him One Million Dollars?

    Quote Originally Posted by tracy_westTX View Post
    Only when I have shopped, a couple of times the clerk asked who I was buying it for
    You should have said: "Yo Momma!".

    Quote Originally Posted by angelfire View Post
    I got asked about buying a nightie the other day actually. The cashier was like "What is this for?"
    You could say: "It's a nightie. Some feminine persons like to sleep in them."

    to all

    Robin
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Diagonally parked in a parallel universe

  14. #14
    Member Ashley Lynn Swift's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Bill View Post
    My near universal answer to strangers is, "Because I like to."

    In my signature is another answer I often give.

    Butterfly Bill, i love that one in you signature, its real whitty and i'm sure people would have a hard time responding to that one, I personaly Prefer, "to make you ask Another Stupid Question." but then again that's one of the things about my current job, and m Career as a Truck Driver (currently not driving, taking a break) you need to be a "Whitty Little Smart A**." at times to get your point across. Espeacially as a Trucker Man most of them can hard headed traditionalist at times, argue over anything even your mama's name Lol~
    [SIZE="3"]"All I Know is that the choices we make dictate the life's we live, to thy ownself be True." Danny DeVieto Reinassance Man[/SIZE]

    Ashley Lynn

    This link was removed as we do not allow personal business websites without permission

  15. #15
    Gold Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    ask why

    This week I walked into a Goodwill store --and up front told the clerks I was a cd and could i look at the dresses. They said sure and one said "You can try on your dresses over theere in the fitting room." What a nice reception!
    Some stores are better than others.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member tracigirl_tv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JenniferR771 View Post
    This week I walked into a Goodwill store --and up front told the clerks I was a cd and could i look at the dresses. They said sure and one said "You can try on your dresses over theere in the fitting room." What a nice reception!
    Some stores are better than others.

    Jen, I really like Goodwill. There are several in my area that have nice things (if you're willing to hunt a bit), and yes, they could care less about me trying on a dozen girlygirl things in the fitting room. And every so often, I will find a hidden treasure for peanuts. Woohoo!!!

    Long live Goodwill and Salvation Army!

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Kierci's Avatar
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    Taylor, we dont argue or disagree, Jeesh and we all tell the truth out here especially about the last bear or chicken house status. We are all upfront friendly forgiving easy to get along with people who have the most open minds of any profession.


    [SIZE=4][/SIZE]
    High Heels, are there any other type of shoe?

  18. #18
    Member Ashley Lynn Swift's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennyaz View Post
    Taylor, we dont argue or disagree, Jeesh and we all tell the truth out here especially about the last bear or chicken house status. We are all upfront friendly forgiving easy to get along with people who have the most open minds of any profession.
    Yeah thats right we all tell the truth, thats what got me my overwieght ticket at the chicken coop in East St. Louis, Il, was a big rig saying the coops where for sell:mad:

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennyaz View Post
    Taylor, we dont argue or disagree,

    [SIZE=4][/SIZE]
    You know your absolutely correct "we" just think "we're" always right, espeacially when it comes to our opions on what is "morally" and "regliously acceptable" one of my fav. things to do when i'm out on the road is question everything, force people to think with their heads and challange everything about what is society acceptable Lol~ Had to defend myself a couple times, pushed the issues too much a couple times, as it was stated in another thread "I wouldn't push the issue in a Rednick Bar on a Friday Night". well a truckstop on a sunday isn't really a good place to push the issue either. the issue being Cding. which i find it hard to keep quite about

    sorry Emma i just had to put in my reply to Jennyaz commitments, even though she's probably the only one who will get the jokes implyed, since she obviouslly know's where i'm coming from and has probably been there herself
    Last edited by Sharon; 08-05-2007 at 02:23 PM. Reason: merged posts
    [SIZE="3"]"All I Know is that the choices we make dictate the life's we live, to thy ownself be True." Danny DeVieto Reinassance Man[/SIZE]

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  19. #19
    jasmim101 jasmim101's Avatar
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    years ago when i was married, my ex use to dress me up and we both enjoyed crossdressing & putting makeup on for me.one evening a mate who i work with was spying threw our window,next day at work he had told every body,and i didnt no until a month later in a pub a mate of mine told me what was being said i could of died on the spot. i stop dressing after that, untill recently. but iam still scared people will take the mick again if they find out.

  20. #20
    jasmim101 jasmim101's Avatar
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    Question

    hi ive never bin asked so woullnt no wat to say

  21. #21
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    How about, "Excuse me?"

    What you are wearing for underwear is absolutely NO ONES business. This is an EXTREMELY impolite question. Can you possibly imagine what the reaction to YOU would be if you went up to a strange woman in say, a market, and asked her why she was wearing a bra? She wouldn't know what to say either, but she would be pretty pissed!

    Smack them with your purse and scream for security and acuse them of sexual assault. I'm sorry, but you just don't ask those sorts of questions in public.

    Stephenie

  22. #22
    Sallie sallie davids's Avatar
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    Been there

    I sgp the local stores and never seem to have a problem, untill i was looking at some outfits that just did not seem to fit, the upper part too tight the lower part to loose. The sale clerk asked to help me I told her of the problem and she said that most women are built that way, i tried to explaine but she was not wanting to hear of it. I have not been there since.

  23. #23
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    You could say your,e an undercover cop and can they "move along and not draw attention to you" Hey! i might use that for my 1st time out!!

  24. #24
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    I have had acrylic nails since 2005 and I have been in my present job for over 2 years now. So it surpised me when a co-worker (male) asked me why I had girl like nails. I happen to look at his hands and noticed that his nails looked like mine used to look. That is ridges, broken and splits. So I asked him to show me his hand. I then pointed out the ridges, broken parts, splits and told him I used to have the same problem. I asked him if he was happy with how his nails looked and felt. He said NO he was not, so I told him that I too was not happy and just happen to go with my sister to her nail salon when I was in my grandneice's wedding. My sister asked to nail teck if anything could be done about my nails. Since then my nails have looked like this, no more splits, no more broken nails, no more ridges. I did say that once I had them done like this, you have to maintain them every couple of weeks. He looked at mine and then looked at his. The next monday he came by and showed me his hands. He had gone home and talked with his wife about what I had done with my nails. His wife suggested the same thing I had done and they went to her nail salon that Saturday and he got acrylics. That was about 6 months ago. He came by and thanked me. He is in sales and told me the other day that some of his customers has noticed and gave him positive comments.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Emma England's Avatar
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    That is great JoAnn.

    EVERYONE should look after their nails - men and women.

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