I have just started to aquire some of my own things and as they accumulate I have to start thinking about putting (hiding) these things in a safe place or at least reasonably safe. Right now I have a couple of things in my tool box, a couple of things in my work truck, about the only thing I don't have to worry about is my pantyhose as my wife knows I wear everyday (for RLS). Any help would be appreciated.
Hugs Veronica
I would find a place away from your house to store your femme articles---a rental storage facility or a friend's place is a good idea---if you keep them around your home, your wife will eventually find them so you might save yourself the trouble and tell her now---if that is impossible to do without paying a significant penalty, then you should stow them away from your residence.
[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
The best overall answer to this question is to talk to your wife about your feelings. It would be so much better to hear it from you than to find out on her own. Kaitlin
I love Jesus!
Life is so much better now that I know who I am !
Veronica, the first thing that I would do is to get some plastic containers that will provide a fairly tight seal to protect your things from any type of contamination. Then find an out of the way place to put them where most likely you are the only one to access them such as the rafters in your garage over your work area. This way they are available when you have an opportunity to use them, but where others are not likely to get out a step ladder to poke around and find them. Caring for your things and putting them out of the way are the two things that you need to think about as well as being able to access them when you want them.
Ashley
When I got married I wore pantyhose 24 – 7 (and still do) and only wore skirts and stuff occasionally, but my SO new that. Fortunately for me my SO and I were both a 9/10 and wore a 9 ½ shoe, so when she wasn’t around I helped myself to her wardrobe. I’m still a 9/10 but she is a little bigger, so we each have our own wardrobes now. Anyway if you don’t want her to know that you wear more than just pantyhose you need to think about the places she doesn’t usually look, maybe the attic, or behind the files in a file cabinet, or in a box labeled taxes, or something like that. Hopefully one day you can tell her and she will appreciate your dressing. I guess I’m fortunate to have a SO that enjoys dressing me up.
Tell her, The sooner the better, Open communication is the key in any relationship. My wife found indications and then was curious, so they will find out sometime. It would have been better for me to be open and honest from the begining.
Do you detect an echo here? Good advice, with the underlying theme - Tell! She's your wife, not your competitor (we hope).
I second what MsJanessa says.Originally Posted by MsJanessa
I would suggest not putting things in your truck or toolbox. What if your wife needed a screwdriver or for some reason was looking for something in your truck.
Yes, yes, the true best answer is to tell your wife, but we both know that it probably wont happen. I would suggest finding somewhere like the basement, the subfloor etc that she'd never have a reason to look at.
When I was growing up I stored my fem items in a chest and had a lock on it. I would also place magazines over top all of the fem items so that if the trunk were opened by a nosy family member they would hopefully just assume that I kept magazines in there. I know this is easier said than done, but one consideration in coming out is that eventually if your wardrobe gets big enough it will be very hard and time consuming to hide all of your items. Jocelyn
There is absolutely no question here. you need to tell your wife. This is your wife, remember? Your soulmate, your partner, the love of your life. Really, hon, do you want to cut her off from something that is so much a part of you?
And here's the clincher, dear. She is going to find out. They all do, sooner or later, and when it's later, the s**t really hits the fan when she realizes that you have been LYING to her all those years. This is ALWAYS much worse than the simple act of sharing with her in the beginning.
Years ago, when my wardrobe was much smaller, my wife found a bra in my briefcase (she NEVER went in my breifcase, right?), she moved out for a week!
It took me that long to convince her that it was really mine.
So listen to me (and everyone else here), and tell her, hon. It's the only way.
Lovies, Stephenie
Some great suggestions and thank you all for your help. I'm not sure how she would react even after 31 years of marriage,but Im not sure if I've got the cohonas to tell. Ok I've got and they sometimes get in the way LOL.
Veronica
It's easy to say that and you are probably right but it is difficult to process,I do notice that you didn't disclose this to your wife and she found out and I appreciate that you are talking from experience
Hugs veronica
Just to echo so many others' comments. It would be a good idea to sit down and come clean. No matter how careful you think you are being, one slip up and it could get really ugly! Especially if she looks in your tool box and finds women's underwear/clothing. First thing she'll think is that you're cheating on her!! So then how do you explain it???? In my case, when I started suspecting something was up, I looked in all of those "places" I don't normally venture, because that would be the most likely place to hide things. Trust me, things got extemely ugly around here for a while, but now we're doing a lot of talking and trying to come to an understanding of the situation. I didn't run, but was very angry, hurt and confused. But, because I love him, we're working on it! Just a thought from a GG and caring (not stupid) wife!!!
You must first consider talking with your partner - but do so with great care. And do not assume that your desire to crossdress will meet with acceptance. Either way there is a lot at stake, but having your feminine things appear in unexpected places is best avoided - it may well lead to harmful misunderstandings as has already been pointed out.
[SIZE="3"][/SIZE]Sapphire
... it will obviously lead you to a new set of things to deal with, but they are things you'll probably need to deal with eventually but at least you can work out boundaries and possibly get more space for your other half without worrying.
Since telling my wife, we've been more open about my CDing, agreeing that I need my own things, and although she's not into "seeing" anything, it is a great burden I feel lifted for our relationship and my inner peace.
Good luck,
jenn
Please tell me, what is RLS? I love to wear pantyhose under my drabs and if I got busted it could make a good excuse.about the only thing I don't have to worry about is my pantyhose as my wife knows I wear everyday (for RLS)
Hugs Veronica
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restless_legs_syndrome
Says under "Lifestyle changes and other non-medicinal approaches" that tight pantyhose helps.
OK, everyone start bouncing your right leg all the time.
Tell your wife before she finds your stash & thinks the worst. im glad my partner had the guts to tell me after a few weeks of dating, we have been living together now since end of feb & we have loads of fun when he dresses.Some great suggestions and thank you all for your help. I'm not sure how she would react even after 31 years of marriage,but Im not sure if I've got the cohonas to tell. Ok I've got and they sometimes get in the way LOL.
Hunny67 GG
I can sympathize with your concerns... However it feels so good not having to hide anymore...Some great suggestions and thank you all for your help. I'm not sure how she would react even after 31 years of marriage,but Im not sure if I've got the cohonas to tell. Ok I've got and they sometimes get in the way LOL.
I'm not in the same situation as yours since my Wife has known almost imediately after our wedding (38 years ago), but I was still hidding pretty much my "femme stuff". Recent evolution of our lives has made us be more tolerant. So I have now a closet full of women clothes in my bedroom...
Thinking of the fact that you have not come out to your wife before, I think that the truth is probably the same as for many of us: we discovered quite a lot about X-deressing since the advent of an easy to access internet world...
Internet websites and above all forums such as this one, have given us more information about the nature of X-dressing and made us feel less guilty. Me included of course...
Feeling guilty was for many of us (not all of course) the primary reason we wouldn't come out to anybody about our x-dressing, including our SO's...
Perhaps this could be a scenario that would be understandable by your wife. Having hiden all this time is indeed one of the biggest grievance wives have towards their X-dressers husbands. The new deal with the internet could provide a good dexplanation to that long silence: "Darling I was feeling so guilty that I was afraid to talk to anybody, including you. I feel so bad about that... Now I know that I'm not alone.... .... .... .... etc."
However there is no guaranty that even if she accepts the delay in coming out she will accept the coming out itself...
It is quite a change to realize that the "man" whom your wife married 31 years ago is so different than what she thought... (note that some wives have had some doubts for a long time but didn't want to make their husbands feel bad...)
If she is like my wife, yours may not like it your X-dressing but tolerate it... That is far better, at least from my point of view, than having to hide so much to someone you really love.
In addition it will give you a lot more freedom: you will not have to hide your "femme" clothes and products anymore.
Eugenie
Last edited by Eugenie; 08-11-2007 at 05:32 PM.
Thanks, I think that I feel partial Parkinsons disease coming on.
You really need to tell your wife, if she find your stash she could thing the worst. if you tell her she my not be accepting which is understanding but aleast she will know that you not seeing another woman. the upstide to this is she could be understanding.Some great suggestions and thank you all for your help. I'm not sure how she would react even after 31 years of marriage,but Im not sure if I've got the cohonas to tell. Ok I've got and they sometimes get in the way LOL.
i wish you all the best
jenni
Find a large coffee can with a tight fitting lid. Put your girlie stuff in the can annd make sure the lid is on tight. Bury the can in the back yard. Leave it there until you work up the courage to talk with your wife.
It takes a real man to wear a dress.
I think that if you wear pantyhose every day and your wife knows and accepts this, you do not need to hide your ytour desires and clothing. I feel you can talt to her in an open and honest way and be supprised at what happens.
I have to agree with the majority here that telling your wife is the best thing to do. Before I came out, I too hid my stash, but there is really no totally safe place to hide things & not be accidentally found. Now I have a drawer for my underwear & nighties & my makeup bag & it's much easier to access.
Before I came out to my wife, I read all the threads about others'experience & on the whole most survived the ordeal. I dress as before,not in my wife's company, but feel guilt free & if she found me dressed it would not be a big deal.
I imagine that by joining this forum you must be doing a great deal of thinking about your dressing & what to do about it. I found that eventually I realised that telling was the logical,most honest [to myself & my wife]way to go.
Don't jump in feet first just because we advise you to tell your wife, keep reading the relevent threads & come to your own conclusion. We are all here to help & have been through the same situation you are in now.
My very best wishes to you.
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