Do I Look Gay To You ?

[Sharon]

I'm happy that you didn't freak when you were called gay, Joy. Or is that "joy, Gay?"

Joy you do not look gay to me.

What do gay people look like? An enquiring mind wants to know.

[BarbaraTalbot]

What do gay people look like? An enquiring mind wants to know.

Around here, gay men work out, and make every effort to affect a masculine persona. Kinda makes me wonder why being slight and effeminate was labeled gay in my youth.

Did gay men "butch up" since the 1970's or do you think the stereotype is based on drag queens, which as we know are considered fun and camp but not models to emulate by gay men?

[susiej]

Girls,

As a lifelong transgender, I have never had any difficulty telling the difference between gays, straights and tg's. However, I think the ability to do so comes from being so close to the experience of crossdressing. And, of course, knowing that I'm not gay, despite being very good at fastening a bra behind my back .

Typical hetero males might even know, intellectually, that ts/tv/tgs are most often not gay, but when they meet a fellow with earrings, long hair, or a telltale thong line through his jeans, the wrong light bulb goes off in their heads. Nobody usually is there to correct the error, either.

So, surprise surprise, we're more sensitive and well-trained in this issue than "normal" guys. Duh. This is another way that we are "gender-gifted".

Hugs,
Susie

[chucks]

i can't tell if someone is gay or straight by looking at them.

[Sarah Rabbit]

The the few occasions someone has made a comment, I just play up the part. They don't know how to take me, and either leave me alone or just carry on as normal. Those around know I am married which adds to the confusion.

Sarah R.

[Xandra]

Your email made me smile because I have recently started to wonder whether people think I'm gay.

Consider: A female colleague at work with whom I had began to exchange greetings - and as the weeks passed, increasingly interesting small talk - surprised me recently as we waited for the elevator by telling me that she was thinking about “coming out” in the near future.

I am open minded and people DO tend to confide in me, so though a little surprised, I murmured something to the effect that I didn’t care what a person’s sexual orientation was and that I hope all goes well for her. She replied that that was why she told me.

A few weeks later we went out for lunch and, still curious as to why she confided in ME - a relative stranger - I asked why she had told me that and she replied that it was because she thought I was gay! Oh my!

Now, until that point no one had ever asked me that so, as one of the other posters pointed out, I suspect it is in part because of mannerisms from dressing carrying over on an innate but relatively unconscious level into life en drab.

Any other thoughts?

[SherriePall]

It's amazing how our perception of people are often based on stereotypes which are usually wrong in whole or part. So, Joy, was it the walk, the talk, or the lacy panties showing over the top of your jeans that made them believe they could tell your sexuality by just observing you?

[Joy Carter]

It's amazing how our perception of people are often based on stereotypes which are usually wrong in whole or part. So, Joy, was it the walk, the talk, or the lacy panties showing over the top of your jeans that made them believe they could tell your sexuality by just observing you?

No Hun I only ware lace on the weekends. Besides. How did you know ? You been lookin ! LoL

One thing about me and people. I really don't care who you are. It's how you treat others that matters. You find good and bad on all sides.

[Jodi]

I worked a career in a very macho, redneck area of PA. Anything that does not fit the macho stereotype in the minds of these guys has to be "gay". I was a high level manger in a very large facility (over 1,000 employees), so I was ripe fodder for any criticism from the rank and file. Because I always took care of my personal appearance, was polite, said please and thank you, and respected women, of course, the rumors abounded that I was gay.

One day a small group of smart asses, faced me and asked me sarcastically if I was gay. My response was--"I was perfectly straight when you walked in here. Unless I catch it from one of you, I'll be perfectly straight when I walk out of here". This was said with a big grin.

In situations like this, sarcasm rules.

Jodi

[Chelseaswpa]

One day a small group of smart asses, faced me and asked me sarcastically if I was gay. My response was--"I was perfectly straight when you walked in here. Unless I catch it from one of you, I'll be perfectly straight when I walk out of here". This was said with a big grin.

In situations like this, sarcasm rules.

Jodi[/QUOTE]

Totally awesome response Jodi I love you for it and so appropriate I also notice you mentioned that a "small group" of them approached you, see that is so typical, they don't have the cojones to ask you face to face, but as a group- yeah we are big strong men! It shows you that we are way stronger, because we have the nerve to live our lives the way we see fit. These are also the same "men" who may write us on our 360 pages or what ever and want to date us- "but only discretely of course" Yeah the same kind I tell to take a hike too!

[StephanieH]

[SIZE="3"]Gay guys don't pose for photos next to a Dodge truck holding a quart of Pennzoil. Just an observation. Why not? Because that yellow oil bottle clashes with your blouse - uh uh girl, no snaps for dat one!

Glad you've got a sense of humor about it! I'm convinced my dad thought I was gay half of my teenage life until I brought home a hottie, finally, when I was seventeen and my older brother yelled out loud something like, "look, he's finally got a girlfriend! And holy cow, look at her!" Hey, I was a car guy and a guitar guy, so I got off to a late start! Combine that with having always been a bit on the effeminate side and I can see where they were coming from.

Interestingly, my lesbian co-worker is still convinced that I'm gay, but she just can't figure out why! We have a lot of fun with that!

Take care and God bless![/SIZE]

[Chelseaswpa]

Great post Randi! Guess that kinda screws up the old adage of judging a book by it's cover eh? BTW My SO and sister were quite surprised by my acknowledgement of begin a gay dresser. Heck Ialways seemed "perfectly normal" LOL I dated lots of girls when I was younger, always trying to figure out why it "just didn't work" for me. So once again different strokes for different folks.

[Joy Carter]

[QUOTE=Randi;969953][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"]Gay guys don't pose for photos next to a Dodge truck holding a quart of Pennzoil. Just an observation. Why not? Because that yellow oil bottle clashes with your blouse - uh uh girl, no snaps for dat one!

Thanks Randi ! Your the first one to comment on my avatar.

[Tamera]

I assume since you were fixing lights that you were standing up or on a ladder, and did not have the PLUMBERS PANTS thing goin'
Hugs,
Tamera

[Joy Carter]

I assume since you were fixing lights that you were standing up or on a ladder, and did not have the PLUMBERS PANTS thing goin'
Hugs,
Tamera

You mean the "moon rise" over the waist band ?

[Chelseaswpa]

You mean the "moon rise" over the waist band ?

You know this post has gotten quite interesting, good ole' Tamera came through with her levity, I never really thought about the whole plumber's crack thing, better keep my low rises on from now on Wouldn't want my girly panties showin' would I?

[Jamie001]

When someone asks me if I am gay, I tell them:

I am gay just like all men that wear earrings or all women that cut their hair short or wear neckties.


It really makes them think and they are usually confused.

[Dena]

It's also possible they were just shooting off their mouths
and your appearance and manner didn't enter into it.