Attraction to same sex? Related to TV/TSism?

[AmandaM]

OK, some here are bi or gay, some are only bi when dressed. Can we see if there is any link to TV/TSism? Are you bi because you feel female? Or are you bi anyway? Here are some questions. Feel free to come up with your own if mine are not correct:

1. Are you attracted to the same sex in drag? Does it feel like a fetish or are you attracted to their whole being, i.e., if MTF, are you attracted to masculinity or do you just want to perform as a female sexually?
2. Do you have to feel like the opposite sex when engaged with them? In other words, if you are MTF with a man do you have to feel female?
3. Are you TV, TS, or somewhere in-between?

I'll go first:
1. Just perform as female
2. I have to feel female
3. Somewhere in between

[Fitzkim]

Wow, great subject.
Let me add this question, does one CD to mask or make it easier to accept his bisexuality? Or does one just act gay or bi when in femme because that's how a female acts?
Any thoughts on that?

1.-not sure --- maybe --- just want to perform as a female sexually
2.-N/A --- never been with the same sex
3.-100% TV

[AmandaM]

I want to see if there is any weight to my pet theory that female sexuality can exist in the male TV/TS separate from gay-ness or bi-ness. I.E., you can be a female in sexual behavior/identity also and not be gay or bi, eventhough the perceived behavior may be similar.

[trannie T]

Sexual orientation and gender identity are two seperate issues.

Transgendered people (which includes crossdressers and transexuals) identify with the opposite genetic gender.

Heterosexuals are sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender.
Homosexuals are sexually attracted to people of their gender.

Studies have indicated that most crossdressers are heterosexual.

[Veronica 1]

I agree. While I might prefer to be a female, I still prefer to be with females.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I want to see if there is any weight to my pet theory that female sexuality can exist in the male TV/TS separate from gay-ness or bi-ness. I.E., you can be a female in sexual behavior/identity also and not be gay or bi, eventhough the perceived behavior may be similar.

Well, There are at least six seperate "identity " functions of the brain Sexuality(gay/ straight) is one of them and "gender identity" (TS/bio norm) is another. Either or both could be congenitally "toggled" the "wrong" way with respect to biosex---a gay man is attracted to other men, but so is a TS----who is technically "homosexual" also but for a different root reason.

The TS is the guy who wants to BE a woman, and may CD in accordance with that desire. Actual GAYS , if they CD at all would likely CD for reasons other than sexuality, as do hetro males who CD---Thrill seeking, Taboo tripping, fetishes, identity escape, etc.

Bi sexuals, so far are a bit of a puzzle to me, but I am working on it. Contrary to popular beleif, I feel that Bisexuality is not a realm somewhere between homosexual and hetrosexuality, but a different approach to sexuality alltogether, where the sex of the object of desire does not matter and is approached on a more global astetic direction. A few BIs in this forum have criticized me for this attitude, but really, they have only their own experiences to go on, which I claim are different from either homo or hetro sexual approaches and attitudes, so if I am right they wouldnt know.

There is a certian "turn off" factor in homos and hetros with respect to the sex opposite to their preference. We dont see that factor with BIs. their approach and what they are looking for is DIFFERENT. I thus conclude that BI is not the "middle ground" in sexuality but something unique and different in itself. I am still analyizing the matter. it looks very interesting.

[Mitch23]

As i get more and more into mitch and her character and personality, i am getting attracted to the idea of being on the arm of a handsome guy, being wined and dined and courted and whatever might follow ....

mitch

[kendra o'riley]

At first the mere thought of being with a guy hit the panic button. But one day I recieved an email from gent who saw my picture on a site and told me that I had selected "bi-curious" as my orientation (a mistake?) I admitted that i must've been in hurry and careless - but he pressed the issue - and asked if I had ever thought of a pair of strong arms wrapped around me nuturing my femininity to full bloom...

The rascal! I couldn't sleep for three nights solid! The thought really got to me and made me admit... maybe... just maybe...

1.Some guys leave me totally cold - but every once in a while...
2. I always feel female once the lipstick goes on
3. I'm thinking it's more like the native american concept of a "one who walks in both worlds."

[BarbaraTalbot]

I wanted to comment even though in drag or drab I have no same sex attraction..


Maybe its just me, because of not sharing those feelings. I do not want to trivialize the feelings of others.

I wonder though, if some of these feelings as expressed turn a sexual experience into a validation of ones feminine feelings.

If I walk like a duck, look like a duck and f___s like a duck, I am a duck?

And not to get judgmental because others are finding their way with confusing feelings, but wouldn't it be more fulfilling regardless of orientation if there was a closeness and dare I say a commitment to the whole of the other person before one would want to really contemplate?

I would think that a GG (and some do especially with esteem issues) are willing to "perform" as a girl because it validates them as attractive women also. I am NOT trying to be preachy at all here, it just seems tinged with lonely to me.

In any case all, be well and be happy.

[AmandaM]

Hmmm, some have posted that they must be the female if they are MTF when responding to a male. This is interesting. I know there are the classical definitiions, where if you are a man and want to be with a man, you are gay or bi. But, what if you want to be a woman with the man? Should we just call these MTF's gay or bi? Or is there something else at work here? Do they have within themselves a "female sexual identity"? Is it possible for this to be a new definition in the transgendered world?

[kendra o'riley]

I wanted to comment even though in drag or drab I have no same sex attraction..


Maybe its just me, because of not sharing those feelings. I do not want to trivialize the feelings of others.

I wonder though, if some of these feelings as expressed turn a sexual experience into a validation of ones feminine feelings.

If I walk like a duck, look like a duck and f___s like a duck, I am a duck?

And not to get judgmental because others are finding their way with confusing feelings, but wouldn't it be more fulfilling regardless of orientation if there was a closeness and dare I say a commitment to the whole of the other person before one would want to really contemplate?

I would think that a GG (and some do especially with esteem issues) are willing to "perform" as a girl because it validates them as attractive women also. I am NOT trying to be preachy at all here, it just seems tinged with lonely to me.

In any case all, be well and be happy.

Well... I must admit that Barbar raises the questions that hopefully every girls asks herself. I know one very well known CD writer has written that it was very much about validation for her. (Dr. Alice's through the looking glass)

But I think Amanda brings up a great question that I share... maybe there is another category altogether... hmmm.

[loki_uk]

Sexual orientation and gender identity are two seperate issues.

Transgendered people (which includes crossdressers and transexuals) identify with the opposite genetic gender.

Heterosexuals are sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender.
Homosexuals are sexually attracted to people of their gender.

Studies have indicated that most crossdressers are heterosexual.

Hmm aren't we really mostly closet lesbians then

[Angie G]

I like being a girl if only for a few hours a day and only look a GG's in a wanting way no men for me hun
Angie

[MarinaTwelve200]

Sexual orientation and gender identity are two seperate issues.

Transgendered people (which includes crossdressers and transexuals) identify with the opposite genetic gender.

Heterosexuals are sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender.
Homosexuals are sexually attracted to people of their gender.

Studies have indicated that most crossdressers are heterosexual.

I agree that sexual orentation and gender identity are two seprate issues. I would not agree with including CDs and TSs as being both necessarily identifying with the opposite genetic gender. A TS does, definately, but as CD is a practice engaged in by several various motivations, CD cannot be talked about in such a general sense. CD is a SYMPTOM of several different dissimilar conditions, and not a condition in itself. I think that a degree of TS may be the only condition wherin the person actually idintifies with the opposite gender/biosex.
Other forms of CD may have a sexual connections, but not necesarily connected with identification with the opposite gender/sex. These include fetishes, transference, S/M and escapisim. These folks CD too.

I say Hetrosexuals are those sexually attracted to the opposite BIOSEX rather than gender. And Homosexuals are attrected to the SAME biosex---these are the correct medical terms, and can serve as a basic platform to branch the terminology from. Might a hetro man be attracted to the same sex but an opposite gendered person?----yes, because a bio-hetrosexual is programmed to be attracted to a person who LOOKS like a woman, whether the person is really a woman or not---Thats the hetro drive doing that. The converse may also apply to a homo man.

[Roxi Loh]

I think I am translesbian. When I am dressed as a woman I desire to make love to a woman or someone dressed as a woman. I hope this helps.

[Zee]

I have often thought about this. Especially in those confusing teenage years. I have been CD'ing for most of my life; however privately.

My conclusion was that I do not find the male form to be, in any way, an attraction to me. Moreover, I find it almost repulsive. Being a man feels like a cruel joke.

On the other hand, I find the female form exquisite, beautiful in all shapes and wonderful to touch.

I could never be with a man. I have told my wife when we first met that I am a lesbian, trapped in a mans body. She new I liked to dress in womens clothing at the start (well close to the start) of our relationship. As such, often we are two lesbians in the sack, but just as often a normal couple.

I have no idea what others think, but in the end, for me at least, it doesn't matter. Lables do not matter, sexual orientation does not matter.

Are you happy? Thats all that should matter.

[Christen3042]

[SIZE="3"]When dressed as a guy, I have absolutely no attraction to other guys (unless they are convincingly dressed en femme).

When dressed en femme, the only guys I find attractive are those who are also en femme.

I'm ALWAYS attracted to women.

If I had to have a 'description', Translesbian would probably fit quite well.[/SIZE]

[JoannaCD]

Christen, your description fits me as well. Thanks for posting it.

[AmandaM]

I say Hetrosexuals are those sexually attracted to the opposite BIOSEX rather than gender. And Homosexuals are attrected to the SAME biosex---these are the correct medical terms, and can serve as a basic platform to branch the terminology from. Might a hetro man be attracted to the same sex but an opposite gendered person?----yes, because a bio-hetrosexual is programmed to be attracted to a person who LOOKS like a woman, whether the person is really a woman or not---Thats the hetro drive doing that. The converse may also apply to a homo man.

It seems to me that the definition of homo and het might be too constraining. I am wondering if the TV/TS can truly become female sexually in identity. If a TV/TS dresses as a woman, then personifies a woman, it would tend to make sense that the TV/TS can also "become" a woman sexually (meaning an internal mental identity). If so, then the definition of homosexual cannot apply as it is not a man with man situation. You could of course make the argument that it's a bioman with a bioman, but that assumes that there is no internal shift of internal sexual identity. What do you think? Can this internal sexual identity exist, and can it shift from male to female in alignment with the gender identity shift?

[kendra o'riley]

It seems to me that the definition of homo and het might be too constraining. I am wondering if the TV/TS can truly become female sexually in identity. If a TV/TS dresses as a woman, then personifies a woman, it would tend to make sense that the TV/TS can also "become" a woman sexually (meaning an internal mental identity). If so, then the definition of homosexual cannot apply as it is not a man with man situation. You could of course make the argument that it's a bioman with a bioman, but that assumes that there is no internal shift of internal sexual identity. What do you think? Can this internal sexual identity exist, and can it shift from male to female in alignment with the gender identity shift?

As we've no doubt seen in the few postings here we have many different points of view. Applying medical terms helps for some - but others like myself have trouble accepting someone else's description of our own feelings and experiences. I'm starting to accept that there is a part of me that (for you Amana) identifies internally as a female. Admitedly, this is my concept of "female" based on observation, experience and...
a little feeling inside that is... She.

[MarinaTwelve200]

You could of course make the argument that it's a bioman with a bioman, but that assumes that there is no internal shift of internal sexual identity. What do you think? Can this internal sexual identity exist, and can it shift from male to female in alignment with the gender identity shift?

I have read accounts where this APPEARS to happen, but assuming the CD is not normally homo or Bi, it may be based on a psychological "obsession" as being something one "needs" to complete his female persona identity---its not "sexual", but more on the order of "needing" a speciall dress or a wig to make his CD session "complete". The guy being essentually part of the "dressing".

As a CD, I "need" my lipstick and a bra at LEAST or my CD session will not work or be "unsatisfying"---Most hetro CDs are like me in this respect, but I can see how a FEW might feel that they NEED the "man" too to complete themselves. This is not the same thing as being sexually attracted to him, but rather an essential "prop" like Lipstick or a wig.=====Thats my theory anyway concerning cases where it appears that a straight hetro guy becomes "Bi" or "Gay" only when he dresses----its essentially "illusinary" and hard to see in the "pink fog".

[sarah378619]

I do not like men sexually. I like women and even more so when dressed. I guess that would make me lesbian since my gender is on the female side.I think sexual orientation and gender identity are two different issues.I think quite a few crossdressers fall into the lesbian category. it is an interesting concept to think about.
Sarah

[AmandaM]

I have read accounts where this APPEARS to happen, but assuming the CD is not normally homo or Bi, it may be based on a psychological "obsession" as being something one "needs" to complete his female persona identity---its not "sexual", but more on the order of "needing" a speciall dress or a wig to make his CD session "complete". The guy being essentually part of the "dressing".

I was wondering how you would define the difference between this sort of crossdresser and a transsexual who starts out as a man dating women and upon sex change, dates men exclusively?

[MarinaTwelve200]

I was wondering how you would define the difference between this sort of crossdresser and a transsexual who starts out as a man dating women and upon sex change, dates men exclusively?

Well In the case I mentioned I was talking about a hetro CD who appeared to be attracted to men only when he dressed.

A Transsexual is just that, a transsexual--- a male born with a 'female" brain to start with. She would inherently, in her mind, be attracted to men. Before transition though, may date women only for social conformist reasons---upon transition would feel free to her real calling--dating men.

[renee99]

I'm confused by the term "female sexual identity". Are we talking about a 'top' versus a 'bottom'?