Odd?
While I often suspected I could be bisexual before I fully accepted that when I was dressed as a woman I was fully myself, at that point (when I accepted myself as a crossdresser) I absolutely lost all interest in men. On the contrary, their sad-looking fashions and brusque behavior turns me off, while women look to me elegant, intelligent, admirable.
Valerie
Last edited by Valerie; 09-08-2007 at 08:25 PM. Reason: spelling
Originally Posted by Kehleyr
no, i think the original post is absolutely spot on, for some of us.
Technically, i do not feel i quite fit the classic transexual model. But there are aspects of me that do. I often describe myself as being 'gay' as its just a broard description of my sexuality. But in reality, i dont feel 'gay', and i certainly do not identify as being a 'gay man'. But then im sure not a straight woman either.
gender identity and sexual orientation are indeed different things....but they can influence each other also...they are not completely divorced.
For me, as a male, i have no interest at all in sexual goings on. I am aware that i am homosexual, but i have no sexual desires while being a 'man'.... as a transvestite it does bring with it a sexuality. My desires towards men are to be with them in an exclussively femme role ... yet i still am comfortable percieving myself as homosexual.
really i think i identify more as a 'third gender'... i have aspects of both, but am neither.
anyways, whether or not its common i dont know, but i fully support the theory put forward by the opening post....for some of us at least.
Now here is one which is just the opposite. As a male admirer, when I am with regular men as regular men...there is no attraction whats so ever on my part in a sexual nature BUT yet when I am with an attractive CD male/women, the bells and whistles go off like there is no tomorrow. I can look at these pics here on the forum of some of you girls and the sparks start to fly....go figure. Thats why when I say to you girls that when you dress as women and you LOOK THE PART, you do without trying attractive men like myself. Its all part of the game.
Jerry
1. Are you attracted to the same sex in drag? Does it feel like a fetish or are you attracted to their whole being, i.e., if MTF, are you attracted to masculinity or do you just want to perform as a female sexually?
2. Do you have to feel like the opposite sex when engaged with them? In other words, if you are MTF with a man do you have to feel female?
3. Are you TV, TS, or somewhere in-between?
I'll go first:
1. Just perform as female
2. I have to feel female
3. Somewhere in between
Dawn is definitely attracted to men both as a girl friend and as a girlfriend. Want them to treat me as a woman and i want to treat them as a woman does a man - that includes sex.
I do have to feel female. I dress completely with full makeup, jewelry, perfume, clothing, underwear, mannerisms. Relate to a man as a woman. Want to be held, kissed and cuddled. Most definitely want sex too.
I am a TV with TS leanings and a feminine brain.
WOW this is deep girls. Here's a word I found in here and like...Translesbian. I only want to be a women because I love their world and only want to be with a women and try to make love as two women. It HAS crossed my little brain though that IF I were somehow ever involved with a man (and ONLY while femme) I better darn well be the women half LOL. So far I have not reached any of these bridges and don't know if fate will bring me there, guess it's just one of those go with the moment things.
i certainly agree that there are a bunch of problems with that assumption... but so are there with just about any assuption you care to make.
You, clearly, are making assumptions about what a TV is...assumptions which are not always true.
regardless of transexuality, "People" have facets of their identity that can be a mixture of typically male and typically female.
i dont think i did miss the point of the original post, or your replies. i just happen not to completley agree with your view.
But i dont really want to get involved with transexual identity. i think the question stands just as well if the "ts" were dropped, and is somewhat more interesting too
i would kinda go along with this, but where i differ is that i do not have to feel that i am "female", rather that i am "feminine". the distinction works for me as i hate the whole pretence thing. i am not playing at being a woman, i am just being me... womanly but not a woman. I dont have a normal male identity either...this is it, whether wearing a dress or not.
Labels
All the labels being tossed around here is dizzying. Many people have different thoughts as to what a given label means. Labels should mean nothing to an individual because you are what you are. I am me, that's all. Labels only mean something to others, and if they don't agree with another person on the definition of a given label, then there is miscommunication.
The labels that do matter have to do with the general population's perception of what they think they see. If they see what looks like two of the same sex , they will assume they are homosexuals. If they see what appears to be two of the opposite sex, they will assume they are heterosexuals. If they see a person sometimes with a person of each sex, the perception in bisexual, regardless of whether the persons involved are GG, GM, TS, TV, CD, straight, gay or bi.
Between consenting adults labels don't matter. Many like myself have found labels of some use at times, such as internet research, finding clubs, etc. Please do not let a label given you by another matter at all. If they are correct in your mind, good. If they are wrong in your mind, either let it go, or educate them if they are receptive to it, don't let it get you down.
I have several labels for myself, used only where necessary, which is seldom. Label one, crossdresser because I enjoy wearing ladies clothing and underwear, including breastforms. Label two is male as this is how I was born, and how I present myself in public most of the time, and how I live my life. Label three is transsexual as I feel inside I am a woman 24/7, and desire to be a woman externally. Label four heterosexual as I only desire sex with women, or at least those that have the external functioning parts of a woman and look like women regardless of whether I am crossdressing or not.
If I ever transition all the way, SRS, hormones, permanent hair removal, voice alterations, etc., my labels would change also. First I would be female, second a lesbian. I would no longer be crossdressing as I would dress appropriate to my new sex. I would no longer be transsexual because I would no longer be between sexes in any way, I would be female. I would no longer be heterosexual because my desire for women exclusively would be homosexual, a lesbian.
In summary, if labels matter to you, it is up to you to determine what labels are appropriate for the individual, keeping in mind how that individual feels about the meaning of the label. Also labels change over time as people change. Never let a label get you down as in the end they don't matter anyway!
With love and respect to all of you regardless of any labels,
PJ
I don't care about labels, only psychology.
It seems as though MTF TS's are considered straight if they are attracted to men. This would imply that their identity is female. It seems that MTF TV's are considered gay if they like men. This would imply that their identity is male. This still doesn't cover those who feel they have some TS tendencies. Should we consider them gay, and then flip a switch, if they realize they are TS? Is this the definition everyone would agree to? Does this definition not take into account their confusion? If someone is somewhere between TV, which is considered gay above, and TS, which is not, can we call them one or the other? Oooorrrrrrr..... could they also contain a female identity as TS's do, albeit not as well-developed?
TS tendencies? realize they are TS? are you joking? You 'know' if you are TS, it's wired from birth... you can't just flip a switch one day and say... oh I'm 'now' a TS... but I was a CD before... Ask any TS, they have always known deep inside what true gender they really are.
Administrator
Missing my Libra babe Sherlyn, I hope she's rocking up there with the angels
Missing our Rianna, doesn't seem right, gone to early, hope she's partying with Sherlyn
1. Are you attracted to the same sex in drag? Does it feel like a fetish or are you attracted to their whole being, i.e., if MTF, are you attracted to masculinity or do you just want to perform as a female sexually?
2. Do you have to feel like the opposite sex when engaged with them? In other words, if you are MTF with a man do you have to feel female?
3. Are you TV, TS, or somewhere in-between?
1. I am attracted to a man when I am dressed, but only in how it makes me feel feminine. I want to be as female as possible for him, and that would include performing sexually as a female. But when I am not dressed I am in no way attracted to a man.
2. Being with a man makes me feel female. To have him hold me and kiss me and treat me as a female is the best.
3.TV. No desire to transition.
[SIZE="1"]Hopefully coming to grips with getting older[/SIZE]
[SIZE="1"]http://360.yahoo.com/randi_789[/SIZE]
I read once where a psychologist said that everyone would be bi if they let go of all there prejudice and got in touch with their innerself`s.
joanne
Bravo! That's the most important point - as long as the parties concerned are consenting adults, who care's what they call themselves.
Labels are nothing more than a convenience, a shorthand, a way of establishing a basic common perception before clarification of individual circumstances occurs.
1. Are you attracted to the same sex in drag? Does it feel like a fetish or are you attracted to their whole being, i.e., if MTF, are you attracted to masculinity or do you just want to perform as a female sexually?
More in drag than not, but not exclusively.
2. Do you have to feel like the opposite sex when engaged with them? In other words, if you are MTF with a man do you have to feel female?
No. I can engage with persons of either gender regardless of what I'm wearing.
3. Are you TV, TS, or somewhere in-between?
Fetishistic CD.
I am just throwing this out there tho' possibly off the subject. Why do "straight" men want to be with crossdressers? I get tons of offers regularly by men who swear to straighthood. Just throwing that out there to ponder.
For me I have said this many times here. I have an extra X in my makeup and am everybit as female as I am male. Gender wise I relate female without a shadow of a doubt. I definately believe that how anyone really is must be right to them and who they are with. That is really all that matters.
My gay friend and neighbor says much the same thing.
My theory on this may be out in left field BUT here it is anyway. Straight guys don't want to admit they may be attracted to other guys. It upsets their sense of manhood and yet, if they were honest with themselves, they would have to admit to being at least bi. So they seek cd/tv girls so that they can preserve the illusion of being straight and having sex with a woman.I am just throwing this out there tho' possibly off the subject. Why do "straight" men want to be with crossdressers? I get tons of offers regularly by men who swear to straighthood. Just throwing that out there to ponder.
For me I have said this many times here. I have an extra X in my makeup and am everybit as female as I am male. Gender wise I relate female without a shadow of a doubt. I definately believe that how anyone really is must be right to them and who they are with. That is really all that matters.
I'd be inclined to phrase that more as "It upsets the perceived societal pressures to be pure hetrosexual,"
i dont think that was quite what was meant from the phrase. Not everyone fits perfectly into their little box. there used to be a yahoo group called, "not 100% transexual", and it had quite a membership.
I sorta feel like why are we trying to label ourselves when we have gotten mad about others trying to label us? It isn't cut and dry and we are all different.
I agree... if it is in a skirt and heels it is female. No matter how much they know there is more under there.
No, I'm not joking. If there is such a thing as "gender spectrum", then you are not addressing it. If we can call a TV gay, and a TS straight, then what of those in-between? Calling them bi only regards their physical body. Do we not try to expand on it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamara Croft
TS tendencies? realize they are TS? are you joking? You 'know' if you are TS, it's wired from birth... you can't just flip a switch one day and say... oh I'm 'now' a TS... but I was a CD before... Ask any TS, they have always known deep inside what true gender they really are.
i dont think that was quite what was meant from the phrase. Not everyone fits perfectly into their little box. there used to be a yahoo group called, "not 100% transexual", and it had quite a membership.>>
I don't crossdress to attract the same sex,I do find that been dressed in the company of a women is very sexy.To be honest I find this a massive turn on.I have suggested to my wife role reversal since are sex life has become boring and uninteresting.If we were both dressed in the same Olga gowns with all the trimming then WOW.For the minute I just have to keep dreaming because I know in my own heart this isn't going to happen.
Whizzy
I can't stand looking at a man in drab, in drab myself...it makes me sick
enfemme and I am not attracted to men in drab though.
but another MTF? another man htats feminin with clothes, mannerisms etc. but still has something extra...that blows my whistle!
Does that make me bi? gay? straight? don't know, don't think so and probably somewhere between all of those.
lol forgive the pun
In cultural anthropology, I was taught that "race" is not a good term, but gave some small minded peple the ability to group people and generalize. I abandoned race for "spectrum"...which is even more true today. Same now is true for sexual orientation and gender.
One of these days we will all breathe a sigh of relief when we realize everyone is an individual with their own tastes, orientations etc. There are no labels, there is just human.
Marina, I think you just like to baffle with bull**** just my take of it
I don't think there is any correlation between cross dressing and sexual preference. There are non cross dressers who are straight, bi, or gay.
There are cross dressers who are straight, bi , or gay.
AND to put the minds of many at ease...NOT all crossdressers are bi or gay.
......but we already discussed this thread.
There are cross dressers who are into hot rod cars, motorcycles and snowmobiles, There are cross dressers who are into hunting and fishing.
There are cross dressers who are into hand guns and rifles.
There are cross dressers who are in law enforcement, construction, public office, sales, etc....but I don't want to give away too much about myself!!! tee hee hee.
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