What usually happens when you out yourself to a Girlfriend that you CD? I've very rarely dated women, and this has never happened to me. I just rejoined Match.com today for $4.25 / month and I feel like coming out at the beginning that I cd. So, for the guys who have dated women a lot and told them, - what has usually happened?
Try to give a percentage of who accepted. E.g., 40% accepted me.
Did you mean you were going to put it on your profile????
Kate,
If you put in your profile that you are a CD, you're going to eliminate most of the potential responses. Why? - Well, why sould a girl invest time in a questionable mate, when there are so many out there without known "baggage".
The best compromise I've seen in these discussions is to find a companion who you are interested in, and who is interested in you - who has gotten to know you a bit for what you really are, and then tell her.
You want to tell her before both of you have a lot invested in the relationship, but it has to be long enough so that she can see the real you; past or around the CD issue.
I've no personal experience in this, just read a LOT of posts about this same subject. Disclose early on and you just waste $5/month with no prospects. It may not be the most honest way but all is fair in love and war as they say.
Hugs, Lori - and good luck in the dating game.
In my experience, you tell her, she tells your friends, and then you have lots of time to yourself to CD!
This is pretty much how i told my SO about my cding and we are still together (just under 1 year) and so far so good. I was suprised of her reaction when i told her and our relatonship has gone from strength to strength. Good luckOriginally Posted by Lori SC
This is my main fear if I had a girlfriend: that she would tell all my friends, and some of my best friends would kinda 'go away'. Obviously, the ones who matter would stay, but I still enjoy my time with those who wouldn't accept me.
I have also thought about this idea, but not yet done it. I'm sure there are girls out there who like CDs, so you'd basically be marketing yourself to a niche market. Quite honestly, I am on a few dating sites, and with my profile the way it is (no mention or hint of CDing) I have only had 2 or 3 responses in over a year, and none of them ended up working (1 was crazy, 1 I wasn't interested in, 1 stood me up). So far, I have had no success with online dating, so I'm considering just making a second account that states I am a crossdresser, just to see if anything happens.
Luckily for me though, I don't use paid dating sites. There are a bunch of free ones that work just as well.
I joined Match.com over 1 year ago and in my profile I only hinted at crossdressing by saying - "I look good both ways!" I wasn't proactive and didn't hit on women - mostly because I was working an out of town job. Well, I've only had looks by women and none have ever hit on me. But yesterday I got an email special from Match.com for a $4.25 / month renewal and I did it for 6 months. This time around I will be proactive and hit on women.
Actually I should just hit on women when I see them anywhere too. And I've never done it while in drag.
You can't predict how a GF will respond.
Some will accept and be one with it, others will be indifferent and then there are those who will run for the hills.
My GF was very accepting and still is as my wife.
Rule number 1. Tell them and tell them early.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Thats how it goes most of the time
I usually just start with panties - often in no uncertain terms. The first time I went to bed with my current g/f I just stood on my side of the bed as she undressed and said "nice panties - may I try them on". She was a bit taken aback but didn't have the confidence to make an issue - and subsequently just got used to it.
Generally, I then up the ante until I counter resistance and at that point only dress to the point at which my date is comfortable - (otherwise I'd be a control freak and have to become a 12 stepper to tone it down - right?)
I have another female friend who, by contrast, lends and gives me lots of female apparel - including bras, panties, stockings, tops, skirts and dresses.
The cardinal rule of genteel society is never to scare the horses
Carly
but I'm not a gambler.
My current 'lady friend' is very open minded about many things and is very involved in the gay community (she has many of male gay friends) but several of them are transvestites.
As such, I am still hesitant to tell her about my CD-ing because although she is more open minded than most, I believe that she has already made (incorrectly I might add) the gay-to-TV connection. While she certainly knows that I'm not gay, at this point it might ruin an otherwise symbiotic relationship (and I use that term loosely as she and I are *both* more-or-less commitment-phobic).
When she and I met, my leg *and* chest hair were both very short (about 2-3 weeks growth) and she did notice them and asked if I shaved them. Rather than foul things up, I just said no, rather than 'fess up. Since then, she has indicated on several occasions that she likes hairy chests/legs on men.
Not sure what to make of that.
I'll step down from mynow.
The purpose of accumulating knowledge is to use that knowledge to think!
My Flickr Photos:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/11885432@N07/
Have any of you ever met a woman who could keep a secret?
I had a GG GF that I dated for a good period of time as Deidra. I actually met her out at one of the clubs that we Tgirls hangout at. So she of course knew what she was getting into!
I would personally not start dating a GG till she knew!!! Thats way to big a surprise to spring on them at some point later as the relationship develops...thats just my opinion.
There are some GGs out there that like us CDs/Tgirls...but very rare will not mislead ya! But I do see some sucess stories here in Atlanta where a couple of Tgirls have even married their GGs. In those cases again the GG and CD met and from the start no one was hiding anything.
Personally I admire that you are going to be honest in your online profile at the dating site and bet you will find a GG. They are going to figure out you are a honest real person...lots of people not just GGs are craving a relationship with a person like you.
Have any of you ever met a woman who could keep a secret?and you try to be like us WHY??????????
A lot may depend on the way she gets to know about your cding ............ we usually do not react well to to discovering that you lied to us somewhere down the line, some will accept cding without much problems, some will struggle in the beginning but may turn out to be your staunchist supporter, some will go on the rollercoaster with you for a while but want to get of somewhere along the line, some will want nothing to do with you, or won't object to your cding so long as they don't see it ............. we are all different and react differently to any given situation .......... I wish you the best in telling your prospective partner ........ one word of advice from a GG ....... be honest about who you are and maintain that honesty as you reach for your stars
Last edited by Sheila; 08-24-2007 at 06:07 AM. Reason: spelling
I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me
What happens?!!!?!!!? Why they throw you a party with all of their accepting friends!!!
Okay, couldn't help it . . .
Actually, I met my wife over Match.Com. There are two basic lines of thought on this.
The first is to tell right away (in your profile or first post or two).
The second is to wait until you get a feel for the person and a serious feeling for where you think the relationship might be going.
The first suggestion certainly will quickly "cut to the chase" and eliminate all but those that understand what CDing is all about and are okay with it. Of course, you chance having many relay that "Candidate 007" is a crossdresser -- and that will give you little-to-no chance with many potential GG's.
The second suggestion is a bit safer -- you have gotten to know the GG, and vice versa, and you are pretty sure where you'd like the relationship to head -- so, then is the time to work into the subject.
I approached things the second way and am glad I did!!! My wife knew nothing about mtf heterosexual crossdressing and says had such information been in my profile, there would have been no future dates. When we were getting "marriage serious" and I told, she had been given the opportunity to get to know me at a deep level, and I added the subject of crossdressing with a subtle approach. With her having only stereotypical ideas what this might mean -- but having learned that I was someone she was very interested in -- I was able to explain it calmly and rationally -- and burst the balloon of the usual stereotypes!!! She quickly saw that much of what she was falling in love with came from my dichotomous personality and was willing to learn more!!! Fourteen years later everything just gets better and better!!!
[SIZE="4"]Sheri[/SIZE]
I've told all my GF's very early on about my CD'ing.
Most have been accepting to a point-varies girl to girl-and only one has run for the hills.
Open and honest is the way forward no matter how difficult things can be!
Speaking for my self you understand
Stella
Was very different for me with HCC - she knew before we got together & wasn't phased. I was more phased to be honest. Prior to that, I did have one g/f who knew, was interested, but I never had the courage to dress infront of her. Others ones, while I've not outed myself to them, I have dropped hints in the past to see their reaction to cross-dressing in general & from there usually had to find a pretty quick exit strategy...
[SIZE="3"]Ever painted yourself blue, & pretended to be Smurfette?[/SIZE]
I would have bee happier up till now if I had put this in the tale from the get go. Somehow, some of my girlfriends seemed to know or suspect, even though I usualy look totaly macho. But I only came out to my wife. Bad timming though. She still married me though. But it didn't last. Go figure. I feel that your significant other needs to be comfortable with all of you.
Couldn't have said it better myself
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