Total Crap (no privacy)

[noname]

Ok, the strangest thing happened, and I could really use some feedback. I heard about this job from a friend of friend or friend kind of thing. So I put my resume together and apply. I've been out of work for a year and a half so I'll pretty much take anything at this point.

I show up, I'm shown around, asked a couple of quesitons. I give him my resume and the look on his face is "oh crap" ( this is going somewhere and relates to cd'ing) he says, hold on just one second and leaves.

Turns out my resume is exatly what they need. He offers me a job and I accept. I'm then informed that I would be best for a 3 month contract in Alaska of all place. I'm like Alaska!?!?? Oh yeah, the pay 15 an hour. Pretty low, but beggers can't be choosers.

Ok, this is poses several problems. Firstly I just cry at the thought of being away from my wife for 3 months. I don't know if I could take it. Second, I'd have to live with 3 other dudes for the 3 months. As you can guess, the only guys that do that are young 19 - 22 year olds with little to no professional experience.

I'm very much a private persona nd need my private space, I would get a room to myself as a house would be rented. Thing is, how could I manage dressing like a total guy for 3 months!!! My painted toes, boot cut jeans, and mascara are a must! I told my friend, it's not like I can just not do it, I feel compelled to. How could I possibly surpress that for months. If I didn't who know how these young arrgant macho gansta dressing dudes going to act. Sorry I'm not looking to be a stastic.

Any advice on this? My wife wants me to take it, shes at her as I haven't been able to find work. Every one I've talked to has said man.... tough call.

I'm all ears.

[GACountrygal]

just take it and keep doin what ya do!! Tell em yer just on the eccentric side and leave it at that!

Nic

[Toyah]

Life has to take priority over hobbys
Sometimes its not so easy but you have to take the job, BTW could you take your wife too ?

[Jamie001]

I agree with Countrygal. Just keep doin what you do. BTW I wear red toenails, women's sandals, and large hoop earrings everyday in male mode. I am just an eccentric. It's not a big deal.

just take it and keep doin what ya do!! Tell em yer just on the eccentric side and leave it at that!

Nic

[Chantelle CD]

This is a tough call... if finding other work hard, and the bills are piling up, you have to do what you have to do to make ends meet. Because i am such a home body, i would look harder for something in town. After the 3 months in Alaska, would it be a full time job in town ??? What happens after the 3 months is over??? If its more travel after the 3 months, i would be looking for other job, only because im not to into travel and work myself.

[Zee]

You gotta do what you gotta do. 3 months is a relatively small sacrifice if you are uncomfortable wearing your clothes in front of others. If your comfortable, then really it is a non-issue.

Work is work after all. From what I hear, the job market is not all that great in your area. Alaska is a beautiful place, serene and quiet. Even if you can not or will not be able to be your true self, work is work. Besides, if you have a little extra after your bills are paid, who's to say you can't go on a shopping spree for yourself after the 3 month term? Reward yourself if you can after a job well done. Who knows, this could lead to something more permanent.

Being away from your wife is hard. Very hard. You will not become used to it, but when you get home after the 3 months... well...

[Kate Simmons]

I think you are entitled to some special consideration due to your experience. I don't think that is too much to ask since, it seems you are going to be a trainer more or less anyway for some greenhorns as well. Just my thinking.

[noname]

Because i am such a home body, i would look harder for something in town. After the 3 months in Alaska, would it be a full time job in town ??? What happens after the 3 months is over??? If its more travel after the 3 months

The job would go a few different ways. I would be out of work and most likely be called up from time to time when they another contract. The work could be local but I'm guessing more likely not. Though I doubt most go for such an extended time. I suppose on the bright side it would put my career back on the market again. I think I'm looking pretty stale. Just think my resume can say my last job was in 2006 and it'll be 2008. Somehow I don't think that looks so good.

I guess the hard part is the guys I saw there were young and acted like total pricks. Missing my wife, wanting privacy and living with pricks. Yeahh..... good times. As far as money goes, were not on thin ice yet, but we will be if things don't turn around. Geez, life can really suck. Man, I was their thanksgiving turkey with a cranberry sauce. This is about the only place in well over 300 applications that seem to actually value what I have done.

I guess things could be worse.


Oh, anyone know how cd friendly Alaska is? As far me going out by myself?

[Zee]

I think you are entitled to some special consideration due to your experience. I don't think that is too much to ask since, it seems you are going to be a trainer more or less anyway for some greenhorns as well. Just my thinking.

This brings to mind a something that I learned with some regret that I didn't learn it sooner.

Most employers will negotiate wages... but negotiation is a two way street. Just be careful if you do negotiate, it can backfire.

[TxKimberly]

Life has to take priority over hobbys
Sometimes its not so easy but you have to take the job, BTW could you take your wife too ?

Frankly, I agree with Toyah - the job must come first. No job, no pay check. No pay check you, the wife, and children go hungry. Oh yeh, you also can't afford to dress with no job! You can do what I used to do when I was in the Army - rent a hotel from time to time. It's not as expensive as renting your own apartment and lets you just catch your breath every once in a while when it just gets to be too much.

I know of two Tgirls in Alaska. One was a early inspiration of mine, Dee Dee Crossmore - I used to read her blog about 8 years ago but have long since lost touch with her. Another is Gail and she is a member of this forum.

Oh and your right - things could be MUCH worse. My daughter was in the hospital for a week about a year and half ago with RSV. At her age it was a serious problem. Several times a day I had to walk by the waiting room for the childrens surgery. You would see couples in the hall sobbing as they held each other waiting to find out if the most precious part of their life was going to make it or not. This was a pivitol moment in my life when I realized that my life was GOOD.
You are married and have someone who loves you, you have skills, you have a job offer (in other words a choice) - your life could be much worse - never ever loose sight of that!

[insearchofme]

Toughen up and take the job!

[Rachel Morley]

Well you did ask for opinions .......

3 months away from your wife and family!?! constantly living with a bunch of macho guys in freezing cold Alaska!?! .... are you nuts!?! I could never do a thing like this. I don't know your situation or your "employment skill set " but surely out of all the job vacancies there are out there for $15 an hour you can find something more suited to your needs. Personally, if it was me, I'd exhaust all other avenues first before contemplating this. Yeah, the job should come before your dressing but does it really have to be for three months alone, without your wife, miles away in Alaska?

Just my

[Deborah Jane]

I agree with Tx Kimberly on this one, rent a hotel room from time to time! You,ve got to have a job for the sake of your family and i guess not being able to dress will stress you out, its a good solution!!

[noname]

Well you did ask for opinions .......

3 months away from your wife and family!?! constantly living with a bunch of macho guys in freezing cold Alaska!?! .... are you nuts!?! I could never do a thing like this. I don't know your situation or your "employment skill set " but surely out of all the job vacancies there are out there for $15 an hour you can find something more suited to your needs. Personally, if it was me, I'd exhaust all other avenues first before contemplating this. Yeah, the job should come before your dressing but does it really have to be for three months alone, without your wife, miles away in Alaska?

Just my

My skillset? College education and 5 years professional experience with UNIX server and support. As for a jobs, there really isn't much in the area. For a while I got calls from temp agencys asking if I want to commute 2 hours oneway!!! Not exactly doable. In fact one employee told me how he had a networking degree but lost his job and took this one as he had to do something as he bought a house and had a wife and kids.

I'm with you on not taking this but really I've been applying for minimum wage jobs. I'm also tired of the rejection. I've been turned away from low level IT jobs because of my previous work. Strange, I either don't have the qualifications or I'm over qualified. I think part of my problem is the IT field is getting specialized and I'm more of a jack of all trades when it comes to this stuff. Glad you understand what I mean by macho guys. Macho can be bad enough, but being yound and stupid as well just doesn't help. You know the real shame is that it wouldn't be real IT people. You know the type, kind of an outcast, nerdy, and not macho. Nothing like a young idiot who thinks he is the coolness cause he can't build a pc and install windows.

Ok I've rambled enough. But like I've said before, while I don't go all femme or try to pass I do need to dress everyday.

For those who asked, no I do not have any kids.

[angelfire]

Quite frankly, I'd keep looking. I mean, you have to move away from your home, family, and friends for $15/hour? I know times can be rough, and I really didn't want to have to take the job I did either, because I have about an hour commute each day, but you do what you gotta do. There has to be somewhere around where you live that will hire, because really, moving away may pay the bills for your family, but you would be lost without them, and them without you.

Just my

[sterling12]

Be careful with this offer! As I understand it, Alaska is a very expensive place to live. $15 per hour may be a very low wage, and your daily living expenses might eat you alive! Please do a little investigating and find out the prevailing rates for like work paid to Alaska Natives. Find out what it will cost you to eat, how much new winter clothing you will need, if applicable/the utility prices, stuff like that.

Yes, I understand they are providing a house, but that won't cover everything, and your only getting 3 months of work. Investigate, talk it over with your wife, and then you can worry about your en femme self. That should be a very low priority until you have answered some other questions.

Peace and Love, Joanie

PS. What happens if you get sick up there? Fifteen bucks an hour won't cover much hospital care.

[Trinni]

Personally I would take the job. I know 3 months seems like forever but you won't believe how quickly it will go by. This job could either just give you some breathing room or lead to more work. It also looks better on a resume to be able to show you have recently worked.

There are a lot of people who are away from there family even longer so they can survive. I know people who have moved from their country and lived here in America for a few years, sending money home until they had enough to bring the rest of their family here.

I went through a different situation where I moved away from my family for work and I'm not gonna lie, it sucked but time goes by faster than you think. I don't want to turn this into a thread about myself so if you want to hear my story, PM me and I'll tell you.

Good luck with your decision because I know it is a hard one.

[KarenSusan]

Be careful with this offer! As I understand it, Alaska is a very expensive place to live. $15 per hour may be a very low wage, and your daily living expenses might eat you alive! Please do a little investigating and find out the prevailing rates for like work paid to Alaska Natives. Find out what it will cost you to eat, how much new winter clothing you will need, if applicable/the utility prices, stuff like that.

I agree. I recognize you need the money but I think you are being taken advantage of. To leave your home for three months is a hardship and you should be compensated for that. Are you getting per diem? I am an engineer and the last contract job I had in the next town was $50/hr. To leave your home, you should be paid much more than that particularly at your level of education. Your employer may be sensing your desperation.

[Karren H]

Take it!!! I side with your wife... Suck it up and act like a man!! After all its for the betterment of you family and they come first!! IMHO

Karren

[noname]

Being as I had to let them know this weekend, I accepted the job. I absolutely do not want to. I took account of all the pros and cons and I feel at this time the pros are ahead. This will not be easy, and something I definately do not want to do. But in the long run I think it's best. I will give me something on my resume and put me back in the job market. I think it will spin positive as it will show responsibility and trust to be sent representing them. It will also help us out so we don't go broke. My wife was telling me today she is sooo glad I am taking this and it's a huge relief to her.

Thanks so much for your input guys.


In regards to clothes, I should just do what I normally do right off the bat. At least the boot cut jeans. Just play the eccentric (sp?) card. Not certain if that will cost me future contracts but as long as it's on the job with clients, shouldn't be an issue.

Thanks again

ps. I just read my origonal post. I apoligize for all the grammer errors, and missing words. If you can guess I didn't get much sleep last night.

[trannie T]

I don't see that you have much of a choice. Unless you have a hidden fortune you have not told us of you should be back in the workforce.

[kymmieLorain]

Well a friend of mine is working an away from home job right now. But he is making big $$$$ H said he will be able to pay off his home in 5 years. I just started at wally world and am making as much as I made at the dealer where I was working, but atleast I don't have the 50 mile drive.

Kymmie

[Khriss]

Yeah "life's a beach"
some are covered in snow and ice ..
do what's best as a provider for your family !
bring back some sexy -Muck-Luk's eh ??
justMy4centsworth"K"

[raleighbelle]

I don't think it will be nearly as bad as you expect. If you truly cannot get a reasonable job otherwise, but doing this will have a job back home when it is done, I think going away for three months is an investment in yourself and family that you can do. It won't be nearly as long a time as you expect. And you will know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will be headed back home on a certain date. And you also know you have your wife's support on this, which is good.

As far as your cross dressing, there is no reason you can't continue with the painted toes. You won't have much reason to go barefoot in Alaska, and even at home, you can walk around in some slippers so the guys don't see them. I think you can also get away quite easily with the boot cut jeans (say they fit better or feel better or whatever). You may have to suppress the mascara, but you can do that for three months. You didn't mention if you were into them, but certainly you can wear panties and stockings or hose if you like and they have no reason to ever notice.

I would not be surprised at all if one of those macho jerk guys you will be working with do the same thing (cross dressing), but they will be trying just as hard to keep it from you!

Do you mind if I ask you where in Alaska you will be (what town or area)? Alaska is a fascinating place, and you should definitely take advantage of what it has to offer while you are there. Do not forget to take a camera. If you can tell me where you will be, I can give you a bit of information about that area.

[Rachel Morley]

Take it!!! ... Suck it up and act like a man!!

I've never been able to understand or come to terms with this concept