I won't do it anymore

[battybattybats]

If you don't want to lie.. then don't lie.
If you discover you have made a promise you cannot keep then you can always say so.
What's more important pride "I would rather break my promise in secret than let her know that I made a promise I couldn't keep" or integrity "I would rather be honest than lie".
If you are unsure whether you can keep the promise or not that too can be stated honestly. If you tell her you aren't sure if you can forever keep the promise, that you may have been hasty optimistic scared or feeling pressured when you made it then you at least are being honest and forwarning her if you find that to be true.
I suggest that you might suggest counselling.

[Nigella]

The original post I believe is "I've said I wont dress anymore" then it goes off at a tangent, but the over riding theme is DONT LIE.

You have to consider what is more important to you, your wife or your dressing. It would appear that, at least for now, you can't have both.

Be honest in your choice, and unfortunately, you are the only one that can make it, but once you have chosen, don't lie, lies have a habit of catching up with you sooner or later.

Not much help I know, but then again, life is all about making choices.

[ronna]

Thank you so much for your kindly advice and thoughtful suggestions, girls.

After she did some reading and some research of her own, she said I can dress, as long as a) she doesn't have to see it (I never wanted her to in the first place), and b) I don't post pictures on the internet (I just wanted to show somebody).

So, although Ronna will be alone again with herself , I will not be alone in my life .

Funny how this is working out. BTW, for those of you who care, we'll be married 30 years this spring, and I've only been a CD for less than 3 years.
If I had to trade one thing for the other, the choice is clear, it would be the wife (just kidding). I may be lost in a pink fog, but I'm not a fool.

Thanks again and I'm not going away for a while!

[Hali]

I think stayceeCD is right ...this is somethin that you have to handle with care, wish you luck

[My Lady Marsea]

Hi Ronna...I'm glad you got it worked out and you'll still stay with us, but you won't be alone, we're all here.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

That's the promise I had to make after my wife found some of my pictures, and found me on this site, and told me she wants a divorce. I told her I liked the feel of the clothes and she said can't I just look at them? Yeah, that'll work. Won't it?
I guess it's a good thing I took pictures because that's all I have now.

Well suffice it to say that keeping such an intimate, intregal part of yourself a secret from your partner is never a good thing to do. Recipe for disaster. Anyhow, not being who you are is not an option and lying to her anymore isn't an option either. This is a hard lesson seems many of the 'grrlz' here repeat and have to learn over and over. I hope the two of you can come to some middle ground. Best of luck and I wish you well.
Kew

[Stephenie S]

If you don't want to lie.. then don't lie.
If you discover you have made a promise you cannot keep then you can always say so.
What's more important pride "I would rather break my promise in secret than let her know that I made a promise I couldn't keep" or integrity "I would rather be honest than lie".
If you are unsure whether you can keep the promise or not that too can be stated honestly. If you tell her you aren't sure if you can forever keep the promise, that you may have been hasty optimistic scared or feeling pressured when you made it then you at least are being honest and forwarning her if you find that to be true.
I suggest that you might suggest counselling.

I think there is a great deal of wisdom in this post. To be honest, you CAN change your mind, but just be up front about it. People make mistakes ALL THE TIME, but covering up a mistake with ANOTHER lie just compounds the problem.

Honesty is almost always the best course.

Lovies,
Stephenie