My long story about a horrible experience for me.

[StephanieCD]

Computer trouble has kept me from coming here for like 3 days - I've been dying to share my story... I was HORRIFIED!

Ok... as you may know I've been practicing my makeup... it's fun - like painting (but I'm comvinced I'm better at whichever one I'm not doing at the time).

Some of you may know my girlfriend and I are slowly working toward participating in CDing together - we see each other once a week so it's slow.

Ok... now, the story. I scrubbed and scrubbed my eyes with an exfoliating scrub for like 5 minutes. I washed with soap. I scrubbed with a washcloth. I went to bed. I woke up. I saw I missed a little eyeliner. Took a shower and repeated my eye burning scrub process. After the shower I looked in the mirror and noted that not only was I clean but I looked good, today. I went to work.

10 minutes at work and "R", a female coworker I kind of can't deal with sometimes, said to me in the middle of a business conversation "your make up looks nice, by the way" and went right back on point. In a room full of people. I off handedly replied "thank you" and kept listening (she's kinda a boss). Sweating bullets... shaking... she left. I went to the bathroom... not only did I have the eyeliner "sleeper" smudge in the corner of my eye but there was a very subtle outline on both of my eyes. I noted that morning I looked good - that's because I still had eyeliner on!! Just a very subtle amount - enough where it looked good, even for a guy.... BUT! She noticed and called me on it in a room full of people.

The rest of my day was AWFUL! Everything sucked. THEN!! My GF came over cuz it was Tuesday night. We had planned on having that night be our first official CDing attempt - she was going to help me do my make up. She even bought me a gorgeous expensive lipstick But she and I both knew that if I did I'd be terrified at work all day the next day. So we went and bought some makeup cleansing wipes instead... *sigh* I so had my hopes up.

So tonight I went to put on a little and take it off with the wipe, to test it out... and I had to scrub and scrub and scrub and it still burned and I'm convinced there something there I can't see... I'm going to be forever petrified now. I just started experimenting, really letting myself anyway, and this one little slip up has bashed me to the back of the closet! I think I'm only going to be comfortable doing makeup on weekends now! God forbid I get drunk doing makeup again and sleep late and rush to work again... I'd die!!

PHEW! That felt good - I needed to vent. It was a long story (sorry!) but I've been on the virge of tears for a while now. I just wanted to come and share (and my damned modem conspired against me!)

DO they make easy off eyeliner? I think I bought bullet-proof stuff for cryin out loud.

[Stephanie Brooks]

Hi Stephanie!

10 minutes at work and "R", a female coworker I kind of can't deal with sometimes, said to me in the middle of a business conversation "your make up looks nice, by the way" and went right back on point. In a room full of people. I off handedly replied "thank you" and kept listening (she's kinda a boss). Sweating bullets... shaking... she left. I went to the bathroom... not only did I have the eyeliner "sleeper" smudge in the corner of my eye but there was a very subtle outline on both of my eyes. I noted that morning I looked good - that's because I still had eyeliner on!! Just a very subtle amount - enough where it looked good, even for a guy.... BUT! She noticed and called me on it in a room full of people.

I know that was awful.

To tell you the truth, your reaction was appropriate, and probably no one really will react hostilly. The women, if any were around, at worst were nonplussed. At best, they were probably somewhat impressed. The men, if any were around, figured it was some kind of joke. Most likely R's comment was so much a non sequitor to the men that it not only didn't register at the time, it's probably already forgotten.

I don't know how R made the comment to you, so I cannot say if she was paying a compliment or being a jerk. Personally I'd err on the former versus the latter.

The rest of my day was AWFUL! Everything sucked. THEN!! My GF came over cuz it was Tuesday night. We had planned on having that night be our first official CDing attempt - she was going to help me do my make up. She even bought me a gorgeous expensive lipstick But she and I both knew that if I did I'd be terrified at work all day the next day. So we went and bought some makeup cleansing wipes instead... *sigh* I so had my hopes up.

So tonight I went to put on a little and take it off with the wipe, to test it out... and I had to scrub and scrub and scrub and it still burned and I'm convinced there something there I can't see... I'm going to be forever petrified now. I just started experimenting, really letting myself anyway, and this one little slip up has bashed me to the back of the closet! I think I'm only going to be comfortable doing makeup on weekends now! God forbid I get drunk doing makeup again and sleep late and rush to work again... I'd die!!

Paranoid you needn't be. Just be thorough if you don't want people to see it during the week.

PHEW! That felt good - I needed to vent. It was a long story (sorry!) but I've been on the virge of tears for a while now. I just wanted to come and share (and my damned modem conspired against me!)

DO they make easy off eyeliner? I think I bought bullet-proof stuff for cryin out loud.

Eye makeup is - imho - notoriously difficult to remove. It needs to withstand rubbing and crying. I've used Clinique eye makeup remover with cotton balls. I typically wear mascara, liner, and shadow. Two balls for each eye is usually enough to clean everything.

If you wear makeup to work, make sure you do it well.

Sorry you had such a bad time, but my guess is that while it was traumatic for you, it was a non-incident for everyone else.

*BIG HUGGLES* Stephanie. Let us know how tomorrow goes.

[Tristen Cox]

DO they make easy off eyeliner? I think I bought bullet-proof stuff for cryin out loud.

Hmmm I've been there believe me. I got some weird looks and kept checking to see what they were looking at in the mirror then it dawns on me " uhm my eyes just don't look normal" Yep frickin liner. So I flushed the toilet a couple times to make it look good while I made my eyes red trying to get it all off. For the rest of the day I just said it was lack of sleep. Yeah right sure it was Won't make that mistake again. Always giving myself plenty of extra removal time these days. Somebody got a grinder?

[StephanieCD]

Good to know I'm not alone on it.

As for how R handled it - she's older, a "I've been everywhere and done everything" type. She said it like she was pointing out that she was the one to notice my socks didn't match. Like "ah HA! see what I noticed and no one else did? Do I win the observant prize?" She's very observant. Funnily enough, out of fear I covered for myself and smeared some bits of ink on my fingers and scrubbed them to make it look like it wouldn't come off - then rubbed my eyes in her presence... I think she's smarter than that though - today she commented on a man's ass to me... think she's fishing to see if I'm gay.

I'd tell her if I could stand her

(I talked about lack of sleep, too - I rubbed my eyes good in the bathroom, too)

[Melissa_Kate]

Hi Stephanie,

I have been experimenting with all different types of makeup for a long time now, and still need a lot of practise applying it. When it comes to removing the makeup, I just use soap and water and wipe each eye a couple times checking in the mirror to see that there is no makeup still visable. If there is any I have missed, I make sure it gone after I have had a shower

Love Melissa

[Ava Mouse]

Ah yes... removing makeup... LOL...

I remember going to work the next day, wiping the sleep out of my eyes... it was black! Yikes... No one said a word, but ...

After that, I made sure to get some good makeup remover... I find the little round cotton pads the best, followed by a makeup remover cream...

Soap & water will just make a mess and burn your eyes...

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

dont worry so much about what others think,, live ur life for urself not for others,, u only get one shot at life and if u live in fear whats the point in living?

[windycissy]

Bummer! I think you handled the situation very well, and if anyone brings it up again, I would tell them that you let your girlfriend have a little fun with you and didn't realize it showed...and the sex was fantastic!

[StephanieCD]

Problem is - most women I know, if they leave any behind it's ok because they normally look that way anyway. With us, we need to get so clean no one would ever think...

[StephanieCD]

Bummer! I think you handled the situation very well, and if anyone brings it up again, I would tell them that you let your girlfriend have a little fun with you and didn't realize it showed...and the sex was fantastic!

That's my backup plan: "my girlfriend wanted to play a game *wink* please don't say anything, it's weird enough as it is"

[Sweet Susan]

Use water based eyeliner. It washes right off easily. No cd should ever be without make-up. It's just too vital.

[Cissy Suzie]

I usually use lots of cotton pads and Vaseline Total Moisture lotion on my entire face, especially my eyes. I carefully keep my eyes closed, and yes a little does get in there and it does burn a little but it does get the job started ... then I use a face towel and work a little more around my eyes. Then don't forget to pull those lids open enough to see what black little bits of eyeliner and mascara are lurking. Use a Q tip to fish those out ... then take a nice warm shower and wash your face carefully and even then if you use a nice fluffy white towel you may see a little residual amount of makeup on it when you dry your face, but after this amount of cleaning you should be ok.

Hee hee, I work in a small business, my boss is a gay man and has no idea about Suzie. I usually get dressed on Sundays and he has never noticed anything on Mondays other than a hangover maybe.

[Sweet Susan]

Also, I know some women who use Crisco, yes Crisco, to take the make-up off of their faces. One gal says it works better than anything. You might try that. I have used it, and it does work well.

[Jen_TGCD]

I have been reading on makeup sites to use a small brush and a dark eye shadow instead of eye liner. It's supposed to be a more natural look.

I gave up on eye liner a while back. Somehow, I ended up with a dark brown lip liner pen... probably a gift from my Mary Kay consultant. I started using it for an eye liner... it's subtle and blends easily with the eye color.

And, I agree with Susan... don't use water-proof eyeliner or mascara unless you are going to do a lot of dancing or plan on crying at a romantic movie! They are too hard to remove and those chemical makeup removers probably are not real healthy to use on your eyes. If you do use them, read the instructions to find out how to remove them.

All my makeup comes off easily with plain old Johnson's baby shampoo. Even that bewitching deep red lipstick. I wash once, rinse, and wash a second time using a wash cloth. Then I soak a cotton pad with Witch Hazel to clean the pores and get any residual makeup I may have missed. To be extra sure you get it all... jump in the shower, too.

[Holly]

Stephanie,

Don't let her get the best of you! And certainly do not allow her to take away one of life's greatest pleasures... CDing! Suzie is o the right track. I've found that a little Vaseline Petroleum Jelly works wonders in removing eye makeup. Give it a try and let us know what you think. And don't forget to moisturize!

[Tamara Croft]

OMG *covers eyes up* I can't believe the things some of you are doing to your skin

All you need is a good cleanser. Garnier Synergie multi-cleansing milk removes ALL make-up and is made for all skin types. The way to remove eye make-up is NOT by scrubbing it!!! You have to put a small amount on a damp cotton wool pad. Press it together with another cotton wool pad to even it between the 2. Close your eyes and hold the pad on the eyes for about 20 seconds so the cleanser starts working on the eye make-up. If there is any eyeliner left under the bottom lashes, use an ear bud with a bit of the cleanser and wipe it gently. Wipe the excess cleanser off with a small amount of toner on a damp cotton wool pad.

Exfoliant on the eyes is a big NO NO!!!! No wonder they got sore. The skin around the eyes is the thinest layer of skin on your body. Creams and exfoliants and other products NOT made for the eye area will eventually seap under your skin, causing them to puff out. If you need any more advice, you know where I am

Tamara x

[Jen_TGCD]

OMG *covers eyes up* I can't believe the things some of you are doing to your skin



Tamara x

<Laughing... >>>

You are right, of course. But most of us don't do this on a daily basis... probably once a week or less.

By the way... I have heard that mayonnaise will work in a pinch, too!

[LindaLeeColby]

Hey,

Your response was excellent and perhaps this incident was Freudian (a little). Our coworkers and nearly all of our societies have learned to use what I call a predictable path for those of us who CD and get caught at it. Your response was excellent because you broke that predictable path she was taking you down. Stay with it with her. That remark you've added about her commenting on someone's butt suggest she's already on the fringes given that sort of remark in these times.

Our best defense has always been a good offense and stay with that. I had a boss once pull me into his office, close the door and ask, "I've heard a disturbing rumor that you dress up as a woman." I laughed and said, "if that remark didn't come from my mother, then it's still just a rumor." He asked if it was true and I asked to speak to the person he spoke to so I had a context. It took him a few moments to realize he wasn't going to get an answer (and didn't deserve one) and that his questions were inappropriate.

Of course it left him with an answer of sorts but at least then I had some control over it. Remarkably within a couple of days I got a casual retake of those moments when he said in an offhanded way that he liked my work and the rest was nobody's business. Another person, a woman, same office, some time later asked if I'd like some polish remover noting as she said it that I had a tiny sliver of red on one of my nails. I said thanks and no but it was OK because I was getting them done after work on Friday. She laughed and ended up becoming a very dear friend and knowing.

I mention that Freudian slip only because I, like some I've known, tend to get ourselves caught and I'm not always sure it's been accidental (deep down). Seems the older I've gotten the more bold I've become wondering at the same time why I wasn't bolder younger.

Squeeze
Linda Lee

[christine55]

As nasty as that woman sounds, what she did may turn out to be a blessing in disguise. I have found that one of the biggest drawbacks of being a cd is the secrecy and isolation we all must endure. It sounds like what she did may have opened that door just a crack, enough so that your co workers who are intelligent and thoughtful get enough of an inkling to ask you. those who are the jerks probably will not even realize what was said.
With me in the past when I lived elsewhere a little forced opening up did me a world of good. Since I have had to come here to Idaho I have been aFraid to open up and have been hurting for it. Best wishes to you.
Hugs, Christine

[Stephanie Brooks]

It's funny. After I responded to Stephanie last night, I went into the bathroom, took out the eyeliner and mascara, and applied them. "What if I went to work wearing this tomorrow?!"

I didn't do it. I'm at work, almost completely in drab. It was SO tempting. I need my job, I work with some intollerant people. Still, the possibility is intriguing.

I'll bounce the idea off Blade today at lunch. ^_^

Finally, Tamara, I love the new avatar!

[MistyCD]

[QUOTE=StephanieCD]Good to know I'm not alone on it.

I think she's smarter than that though - today she commented on a man's ass to me...

*** that sounds like sexual harassment to me!!!!



think she's fishing to see if I'm gay.

** don't you wish you could tell her "how would you like to get your *** sc****d and find out" !!!!!,


LOL Misty

[MsMichelle]

Hi Stephanie,

I just use soap and water and wipe each eye a couple times checking in the mirror to see that there is no makeup still visable. If there is any I have missed, I make sure it gone after I have had a shower

Love Melissa

If you are using the better products such as Revlon Colorstay products, soap and water won't even phase the makeup even slightly. The absolute best makeup remover for all types of makeup is simple Baby Oil or Mineral Oil. Both will quickly break down the makeup and they can then be followed by soap and water. Liquid eyeliner is by far the hardest to remove because you tend to close your eyes quite tight. Use baby oil or mineral oil on a cotton ball for your eyes.

[MsMichelle]

I noted that morning I looked good - that's because I still had eyeliner on!! Just a very subtle amount - enough where it looked good, even for a guy.... BUT! She noticed and called me on it in a room full of people.

If you had noted that you still had eyeliner on, I can't for the life of me understand why you wouldn't remove it before you went to work.
I know of other people who have done similar foolhardy stunts in an attempt to really push the envelope. Unfortunately, it ended up costing them their job. Even here in Canada where we have some of the most strict anti harrassment laws, the manhole covers simply get removed until at some point you fall into one and find you have lost your job.
All it takes is one boss who is homophobic to get a bug up his ass and before you know it, you are toast!!

[Melissa A.]

Tamara is so right. Scrubbing your eyes, especially your eyelids, will make them red and sore. I simply do the best I can in the shower with soap and water then use makeup wipes. Seems to work fine.

I try not to make it too complicated. I shave daily, even when not dressing, Keep my face clean and throw out old makeup. I use a gentle soap like dove, and again, always have alot of makeup wipes around. I occasionally moisturize only because I have heard it is a good thing to do. I have never had any real problems with makeup removal, other than sometimes getting soap in my eyes when GENTLY removing mascara and eyeliner. (solution? keep 'em closed!!) I don't use anything but my hands and fingers to remove eye makeup when washing. You can use Pond's wipes after with your eyes open because they don't bother your eyes.

I realize, though, that skin sensitivity can differ greatly. As with shaving, each girl needs to find what works best for her.

But don't be mean to your face and eyes. Don't Scrub!!

Hugs,

Melissa

[Tiffany Tuesday]

Hiya Stephanie ..

.. it seems you might have used a waterproof mascara ( not meant to come off with wipes). As Tamara points out, it is easy peasy japanesesy to remove normal mascara ( most conveniently with cosmetic wipes) then follow what she says.

As for R, whether she thinks you CD, gay, gothic, new wave or a new man ... you wore mascara, it is no big deal unless you yourself feel ashamed ... because what shame is there in dressing as a woman? half the world do that, and they cannot all be wrong!

hugz x