Has anyone ever been able to quit dressing? I guess no one here has, or you wouldn't be here. But does anyone know of anyone who has? Any tips? I really want to be done with this, but i don't want to come back to it later on.
So either I am in or not. If I can't quit doing it, I may look into going more full time with it. I feel like I am at a crossroads.
Thanks
I am currently at approximately a 1 year status, I still get the temptation, but I dont have the clothes, so am I in or not? Still there are lots of memories mostly bad ones, and that keeps me on the straight and narrow. Just got a huge tax return yet have spent it on things I really need (not femme clothes) and not unhappy. Right now there is a big incentive not to, but who knows the future. With God's help anything is possible ( as long as it is within God's will in the first place). PM me if you need anything I can help you with.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Mark Twain
Hi Ashley, most of us here have "quit" at one time or another.
It is "purging' oneself with all links to CDing. But yes, we all come skipping right back. I have purged many times in my younger days, and my wife would love me to purge for good right now. (bless her, she's an idiot hehe) The urge to return to dressing is different for everyone, but for me it was to save my peace of mind. Why go through life grumpy when you can relax in the tranquility obtained by wearing different clothes.
[SIZE=3]Catrina [/SIZE][SIZE=1]xxx[/SIZE]
You've said it for me Trinity. When I tried to stop, a beautiful woman just walking down the street would start it all again. I would think to myself, "hmmff", "shes got nothing on me. I can be just as sexy as her". I really think girls that we all used to be girls in a past life, if you're into those kinds of things. (feminine things). Arula XOXOriginally Posted by Trinity_cat
From Transvestite to *******
a fantasy turning into reality
in the not too distant future.
www.arula.tv
xoxo Arula.
Oh I'm affraid I gave up the purging thing a long time ago, I gave it my best try a few times but here I am now
To be honest I wouldnt want to stop being myself nowdays it's just took to many years to get here, and now I have finally come to terms with being transgendered I just want to spend the rest of my days enjoying it.
Good luck to anyone who does want to quit but if I'm truthfull I've never known anybody succeed, good luck
love mand xxx
it cost to much to purge i have only done that once, lost some realy nice skirts and heels as a resultI dont feel right if i am NOT wearing my pantyhose,and thru talking to my wife i am getting to not caring on who notices my painted toenails and pantyhosed toes
Ashley... ur avitar is disturbing
Can you quit? Maybe, but for how long?
I know some girls that have quite for months, a year, 8 years, but they are posting on CD forums still. Why? My guess is that the urge is probably still there, and talking about it helps them not dress.
That is not to say that they won't start again later. It's an unkown.
DonnaT
Hi Ashley,
If you are determined to walk away, You need to know that a behavior like crossdressing is there for a reason. It does something positive for you. So it is very hard to quit for good. I am not a behavioralist, or a shrink, and I know there are are girls here who are much more knowledgable than me about the ins and outs of such behaviors.
I said it was there for a reason, but I don't want you to get the idea that that is real important to me. It's not. I don't care why I crossdress. All I finally know, is that it is a part of me. A very important part of what makes me me. Has it caused me, and others, pain in the past? Absolutely. Have I quit before? Yup. Everyone has.
I won't go into my whole story (although it is chronicled here, as are my feelings over the years, in bits and pieces, if your'e bored enough to read my 200+ posts!) but I will share two things with you:
-I got to a point where not being who I am was more painful than the affect my crossdressing had on others, mostly signifigant others. And at some point the secrecy, shame, and embarrassment just went away. The affect society, friends, loved ones, etc. can have on how a crossdresser feels about themselves and what they do cannot be overstated. When I decided I didn't care anymore, I was free.
-If you are going to crossdress, you need to decide how it will fit into your life. This can be the hardest part and is different for everyone.
I know I am simplifying, to some degree, something that is very complex and can be very hard. I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to chuck it and live a "normal" life. And I did, for periods of time. But I truly believe that the supression and denial led to bigger problems. Trying to control my dressing, for me, just didnt work. Every area of my life is so much easier now. And I am finding success, and a peace I really never knew was possible.
Sorry to go on about me. I cannot tell you what to do. I'm not advocating crossdressing, just letting you know that quitting, in my experience and from what I have read from others, is very hard. You have to decide if what you get from dressing outwieghs the potential pain and inconvenience to your life. And it can be both, I'm not denying that.
I have said this here before: I think, as humans, we really sometimes need to go through some bad, painful stuff before we are ready to be who we really are. Unfortunate in some ways. And I don't know how old you are. But when you do finally get to time in your life when you love and accept who you are and what you do, Well, for me, it was worth everything bad I've experienced.
The path is different for everyone, Ashley. I wish you all the strength and luck you can get on yours. I hope this helps a little.
Hugs,
Melissa
P.S. Ashley, I just want to add (not knowing the circumstances that brought you where you are) That you should probably not put so much pressure on yourself to think that you have to make a life-changing, permanent decision right this moment. You may feel like you are at a crossroads now, but a year from now, it may not seem like it was that big a deal. Stuff happens, for the most part, over time. Sometimes we have to make important decisions, and sometimes, it's really not necessary to decide. Stop and think, and make sure you know how you feel about that.
Funny avatar. Made me laugh!
Hugs,
Melissa
Ashely,
I think Melissa said it all. You need to accept yourself as who you are and that all of us girls wish you the best in finding yourself and happiness.
Richelle
Hey Ashley,
I've purged but in doing so it cost me dearly, not so much the money as in letting go of something I truly need. My advise is go with your heart but stay on the practical side and put your things into a box for the time being. Purging is an act of cleansing and born often from the guilt we carry but it's not our guilt so much as trying to live up to a definition of ourselves that no one else follows past their own opinions. I would also advise that you imagine yourself as you are without considering those opinions and judge then the level or those desires that you can live with.
Squeeze
Linda Lee
Ashley;
Melissa hit the nail on the head. Thanks Melissa.
I too tried to quit, I spent many years hiding, keeping secrets, buying and purging. I tried to quit it, tried to "put it away" attemted to deny the urge to dress. I would then feel ashamed after I would dress, like it was wrong or something was wrong with me. And now that I realized who I am and nurture that aspect of who i am, i am much happier person.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide, but it has been my experiance that you would be a much happier person by embracing who you are and comming to terms with it.
I tried quitting a few times but that didn't last long.
I would say this is it and got rid of all my clothes and then a couple of months down the road i would be back buying some panties and hose.
Soon buying skirts dresses and lingerie.
I then went a couple more years and tried to purge again .
Cleaned out my closet again and went maybe 3 months saying to myself i done it for good .
Go shopping for something like in Wal-mart and i would happen to cross thru the lingerie section stop check it out and say wouldn't l love to have that.
Next thing i know i am buying that article of lingerie and then buying more again.
i guess i can't give up wearing lingerie or dresses.
ok i have like been all over this ........crossdressing ..................thingy ......denial........fear........shame.....guilt... ......accepence..............as this all happend and is still going on from time to time i can say that i never once purged .........girlfreind never purge ...........don't purge.....
no purgeing ok ............package up all your things put them away spend some time thinking ........maybe a thearepest is a good thought ...............................
are you nutts? crazey? strange? or any thing your thinking .....?????? answer ..no not at all.......it one thime or a nouther we all go through this way your feeling.........some do it quite offten ........some can just stop and never miss it..........some just can't stop or make it go away..........
whitch one are you ??????????as your past posts tell me that you are not quite shure that ok ....some times we have a hard time with that ........me what am i ??????????
a cd, tv, trans , gen. what ever ............i am happy thats all and for me thats enough.........if you want to chatt ..........pm me or yahoo me ...........
girlfreind theres more right with you than theres is wrong with you
huge wendy hugs............
Hi Ashley,
We have all quit for varying lengths of time,we have almost all(Wendy)purged sometimes quite often.Yet we are back.This forum has helped so many of us decide who and what we are,what we want from life,how we wish to live.Only time will tell if you can quit and never come back again.The odds are that you will be back.Try to be happy as you are,be true to you.
Love and Hugs,
Priscilla
Love and Hugs,
Priscilla
not me yes hard to belive but true i never purged .............i love my wendy things..........
I have not heard of anyone able to stop crossdressing for any lenght of time. I have stopped, gotten rid of clothes etc. just to start over in a year or less. I find it harder to stop the older I get. Wife is straight ;aced and not open to anything but straight relationship, so I may be facing the big choice of leaving her or just stopping. Stopping is harder than I ever thought it would be. Good luck girl, Love Bobbie
Like most others here I have quit a number of times over the years, and each time I dumped my femme clothes, wigs, shoes - gave them to Goodwill. But it never lasted. Once I was so sure that I was going to quit for good that I grew a beard - a big bushy one. Hey, it's hard to look feminine with a bushy beard. That time my quitting lasted a couple of years.
I'm now a senior citizen and I have reconciled myself that there is a feminine part of me that just cannot be ignored. I am at my most comfortable when I recognize that Susan is a fundamental part of me. I don't think there's much chance of my quitting ever again.
Susan
Excepting for Wendy of course, I think just about all of us have purged at least once, at least those of us who have been doing this for any length of time. But the trouble with purging is that it doesn't change anything -- we are still the same people we were, and the clothing we wear, or don't wear, doesn't alter this fact.
I think that those crossdressers who simply have a fetish for specific articles of clothing would have an easier time with changing their behavior than those who need to express a feminine personality, a personality that can't be erased by simply changing their wardrobe.
I have been to several therapists over the years, and every one of them has acknowledged that a transvestite is a transvestite is a transvestite. We can empty our closets as often as we like, but nothing we do will change who we are. It is up to each one of us to accept who we are, and to find a way to work these desires or needs into our lives, without allowing them to become more than they should be. Some can dress just occasionally and be perfectly content, while others may need to dress full-time.
So my only advice Ashley is to try to refrain from doing anything rash until you have thought long and hard about why you dress. Maybe you will decide that this has just been a phase in your life, but it's just as likely, if not more so, that this is more important to you than you're willing to admit.
Put the clothing away somewhere where you don't see it every day and try to live your life as though the clothing isn't there [This would also mean not visiting crossdressing sites on the internet!]. Give yourself some time -- a month? six months? -- to see how you feel, and maybe you'll decide that it just isn't that important to you anymore. But if you decide that the clothing represents some inner need, then a least you can still pull it out of its hiding place and resume your life as the person you are meant to be.
Whatever you do, good luck!
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe
I don't think you can ever quit completely.
I purged yet again, joined the services and I didn't dress femme for 7 years, as it wasn't the sort of place you would want to get caught wearing panties.
But for me CDing was always there in the back ground, lying dormant in the sub conscious.
When I first married I managed to keep it in check and only just!!!!!!!!. Then the wife asked if I would like to go to a vicars and tarts night and bam!!. A team of wild horses wouldn't have stopped me.
Spent half the night in the toilets, re-doing the make up my wife had put on me and sitting down to pee (didn't want the night to end). That was 17 years ago and I have never looked back after that night. I gave up trying to deny who I was and the feelings that went with it.
Charlotte Anne xx
Samantha xx
One day I will think of something profound to write here!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa got it spot on, tried quitting and failed, several purges later I've given up. However it is your life and your choice.
Good luck with what ever you decide to do
Fiona
xx
Girls who are boys, Who like boys to be girls, Who do boys like they're girls, Who do girls like they're boys, Always should be someone you really love
I myself "quit" for about a good 3-4 years after I started dating my wife but during the last few months, the "urge" started up again and I have decided to start doing it again. My primary challenge right now is discussing it with my wife since I never told her about my previous experiences with or interest in cd-ing because I, as probably so many other people thought, thought that it wasn't THAT important to me or that my wife just wouldn't understand or be approving of it (especially since she has kids) but the "urge" is obviously still there and I suspect that it will always be there no matter what. I COULD continue to attempt to suppress it but I'm not sure that that's what I really want to do. There are times when it is less important to me and I don't feel like I've got to cd a certain amount of times per day, week, month, year, etc. to be satisfied but I would like to know at least that I have the freedom to do so if I want whether it is full dressing, wearing undergarments, or more "gender neutral" attire. I suppose that it is POSSIBLE to quit but why should anybody want to/have to, especially since it is something that doesn't hurt anybody, doesn't have to be permanent, and can be concealed if necessary or done privately if necessarily and not intrude on your personal life?
I, as well as almost everyone of us, have gone through the purging ritual ... me a couple of times ... and then I find myself a while later going through the ritual of replacing the stuff I had gotten rid of.
I won't try to get into any psychological thing here with you, my advice is just pure and simple economics.
Either rent a locker somewhere or just buy a big old trunk and pack all your girly things away and let them stay where they are. My guess is after a few months or weeksyou will be digging into that trunk or driving over to the rented locker, to retrieve your self.
There was a popular song when I was a kid "It's cheaper to keep her"
Just an idea for you!
I did the purge thing about 10 years ago and I didn't do any CDing for that time period. It was only after my ex-wife and I decided to divorce that I decided that my happiness was more important than trying to fit into this world as a "normal" guy. I decided that anybody I dated after my marriage would have to accept me for me (high heels, thongs, and all). I now have a wonderful girlfriend who accepts me and my "hobby". I haven't been this happy in a long time, so I have no intention of quitting anytime soon.
I agree strongly with Sharon on this. You can not nor should not make any decision until you have answered this question, if indeed it is answerable. The reasons behind your dressing will give you the insight that you need to make a rational decision.
I wish you the best of success in whatever road you take. None of them are easy.
Love,
SilkenPrincess
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