(not sure if this has been addressed before - if it has, please feel free to delete)
I have noticed through a lot of the posts, that there seems to be a hatred for the "other side". Is this the case with a lot of CD'ers? Is it due to a dislike or hatred of their born gender (either of themselves or their gender as a whole)? Do there exist many CD'ers that have an acceptance that they embody part male and part female, and that both can happily co-exist inside the one body?
Luv
~Viv~
I dreamt all my future, relived my past and witnessed the beauty of the beast.
Being I am TS, I do loathe my drab side. It just never feels right inside when I look at my outward appearance unless I'm made up and dressed. However I know this is only a view from my end of the spectrum and many crossdressers have no problem balancing both sides at the same time. Others find it perplexing or confusing. It does seem to be a mixed basket as it were. Such is life. (good thread)
i don't know, perhaps it's because i'm cd, but there are times i love my guy side... i like walking around, being one of the boys, watching football... etc. etc. but there are times i like to get a dolled up...
I believe this is one of those questions that falls in the catagory of it depends on the desires that person is fulfilling. For me, I spent many years trying to ignore and hide my feminine side. When I finally accepted that I can be both masculine and feminine, depending on my needs at the time, my life got SOOO much better. I wish I had accepted my CDing earlier. My life would have been so much brighter. You just can't beat a great dress and heels to make your better
Of course, in Jungian psychology, the goal of life is to embrace both the feminine and masculine and aspire to become an enlightened and fulfilled person. So, all of us have a great head start on this over the folks who are stuck in drab land!
You're absolutely right, Viv. Although I have considered transitioning in the past I know that I never will. To hate my guy side, or guys in general is for me and anyone else who is not planning to become a woman horribly self destructive. I don't much care for piggish men but most men are not piggish.
I am not probably not the happiest guy in the world but to hate my male side only makes it worse.
Hugs, Christine
There is no way I hate being a guy. Being a man is infinetly better than being a woman. Men have hangups, but nothing like women. I find it fun to dress up, and I love the idea seeing myself womanized, but I would never want to actually be a woman. Of the two genders, tgs notwithstanding, men are great. Women are great, as well, but I mean, really. Think about it. The more I'm around real women, the more I'm glad I'm not really one of them. Talk about basket cases.................... I'm sure I'll hear about it, but I really don't care. If it weren't for men we wouldn't have......uh, well, we wouldn't have Chuck Berry riffs, we wouldn't have had the opportunity to see Mickey Mantle play baseball..........
I really don't think I'm co-existing as a man and a woman. I'm just a guy that likes to wear dresses, play electric guitar, read classic literature, study politics, and look at gorgeous, sexy, beautful women, and wish that I could look as good as they do. And that's about it.
Last edited by Sweet Susan; 03-29-2005 at 02:50 AM.
Your right Viv
Yes your right Viv we sometime get caught up on this hatered for being they way we sisters are playing both genders.I don't hate being a CD at all I love that part of me just as much as being all man in my male more which I'm in the most!I think most CD'S seem to feel guility they are who they are men dressed up as a girl.It a feeling of guilt because they are doing something that society feels as tabo.I really don't think that's the case really.I think most people see it as something different,& something sexual!My mummy always told me be yourself no matter who you are If you want to dress up then have fun and do it.Be yourself at all times or you will learn to hate yourself for who you are and always will be a CROSS DRESSR!
HUGS
TIMME
Yeah, I do... but I prefer Kimberly.Originally Posted by Vivian
And I've slowly grown accustomed to my masculine side, (from a very young age, I was telling everyone I wanted to be a girl...) and over the years I've come to enjoy both aspects of my life. The male me, and the female me.
Now where did I leave that nail polish??
[size=3]Hugs xx[/size]
[size=2]"You don't have to be fat to be a lady", Sophie 2006[/size]
[SIZE=1]"Hey, those are nice shoes, but they'd look better in my pants! ... I mean..." Robot Chicken, 2006[/SIZE]
[size=1]"He's just said a word we don't understand! And he's won at scrabble with it!" - Eddie Izzard 1998[/size]
[SIZE=1]"Head over heels is fine, unless you're in stilettos." -The Beautiful South, 2005[/SIZE]
[size=1]"Forgive me. Let live, me." - Antony and the Johnsons 2005[/size]
[SIZE="1"]"We walk amoung you..." TransAmerica, 2005[/SIZE]
[size=3]THREAD SUCCESSFULLY HIJACKED[/size]
I don't hate being a male at all. I just like dressing fem. Heck, I wonder if "like" is the right word. How about, I "need" to dress fem and am comfortable with that part of me.
And don't ask why I need to dress, because I don't know. Just an itch that needs scratching, constantly.
DonnaT
Vivian
I do not loath the "Other Side". I just enjoy wearing dresses and all the other items that GGs get to wear all the time. I have no problem spending most of the time in drab mode. Going out enfemme is just one of many activities I do to have fun.
Richelle
I don't hate my male side at all. However I feel I have more fun as a woman. And sexually I much prefer to be the object of desire. To be a man is not be able to display the beauty of your body. Except perhaps as an olympic swimmer or what not but who goes out wearing only a speedo?
I've never had the chance to live enfemme for an extended period of time. Who knows? Maybe if I did I wouldn't find it so liberating. Its kinda like if you went to the amusement park everyday. At first it would be great but then after a while you'd find yourself yawning on the roller coaster.
I need my time as a woman. For now i'm somewhere in the middle. We'll see what happens. Reminds me of a joke I heard
What's the difference between a transexual and transvestite?
three years
I suppose Dian, Sweet Susan and Richelle have made my point for me. I must say that I have had the fantasy/desire to be woman as far back as I can remember, but always managed to accept and appreciate my male body. Would I go the distance? Y'know, if I had the money and the chance to start in a brand new place, I think I would. Were I to actually change my sex I think I'd still want to be with GGs and swing from time to time. I have come to terms and am quite happy to know I am bi -- it was an emotional obstacel for too long. Now, put some of you girls and some GGs in the same room, I would probably go for both, knowing who's who. I do love women more than I love men. But what do I know?
Every man should learn how to walk in high heels
I totally hate being born male, but I have made my life as a man, so I try to balance my feelings between what I want and what my family expect of me.
It is not easy and at times I have to have time alone and just have a dam good cry, I so wish I had been born female.
I balance it out by being seen as feminine as possible and living a female role, but maintaining the male persona for my family when it is required.
You know I don't know if this will make sense to anyone, I'm living this life and I struggle to come to terms with it all.
Do I hate my male side? ............. Lets just say I have no choice but to get along with it.
love mand xxx
The male me is the real one. The 'other side' is some demented hedonist female who has no dress sense but won't go away. It's like having my very own female stalker.
I personally don't know which side I like. I kinda hate them both. But I am a fickle person. I would like an answer as to why I do this, but the more I think about it, what would it matter?
If it was a genetic thing, there would be no changing it at all, and if it was because of some environmental thing from my childhood, would it be worth all of the years of therapy it would take to get rid of it?
I just hope to one day find balance and then happiness.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
From Mand's tear jerker to Susan's well worded post, wow.
I am very male. Love being male. I'm competitive, swear and drink beer on the sofa while watching March Madness while wearing panties and taking extra care to fold all the femme girly things from the wash.
Katrina said that she likes to be the object of desire. That is exactly how I feel when I dress.
Then I wish I had breasts, no beard, nice long legs and luscious lips.
But then I couldn't surf as radically as I do now.
Flip, flop.
Dana
I have to say that I do not hate that I was born male. Being a husband and father has been terrific. There is just a part of me that so loves being soft and feminine. I have a wonderful wife and three great kids, two of which are girls and I really enjoy being able to relate to the things they deal with, even if they have no idea that I understand.
So it seems that I embrace both the male and female and try and balance them. The male wins most of the time since Amanda Rose can't seem to find the key 'out of the closet'. I think my wife hid it somewhere! LOL
Amanda Rose
Amelie, I have just read what you have said here and also a post on roses, on a thread about being honest on passibility, I must admit I admire you're writting and you're style.
I also know exactly what you mean, in the fact of becoming hardened, I am the same. Altough I do cry but it is selfish tears just for myself.
love mand xxx
Hi Vivian,
I thought for the longest time that my male and female sides were in balance;now I'm not so sure.My male side is too strong and that may be a good thing. I am very comfortable in drab,my beard is back and always will be,my hair is growing out and I look forward to feeling it fly in the breeze again.Priscilla still is a part of me and in time may become more important to me again.
Love and Hugs,
Priscilla
Love and Hugs,
Priscilla
In difference to Julie York's post (really cute)! I think we can agree that women can not physically match (most) of us so they have to fall back on their feminine wiles and we (males) have to admit they are damned good at it - right? Now picture this, (assuming we have a true crossdresser) that our feminine personna/ego/self - whatever is simply allowing our masculine self to think it is in charge/has the upper hand/is in control, etc. Not necessarily scary, but interesting. My position is simply, I am Virginia, she is me and we will hold hands, love each other and continue on our "Magical Mystery Tour!"
Virginia
Sometimes it is difficult to separate the male and female. The outward appearance does have some rule over the inner being. I find myself at various times wishing to be female, and at other times wanting to be male. Throw in sex and it all gets messed up beyond recognition at times. I can appreciate those women who have made irreversible changes in their life to match their inner self. They show enormous courage and often are on a path by themselves. Kudos to them. Those of us who remain uncertain about which way to go, time may eventually give us a direction. Those of you who have figured it out, please share the secret!!!
Although I think that it would be interesting to FULLY experience what it would be like to be a woman for a day (I would love to experience sex as a woman), I'm pretty happy being a guy myself and would never want to physically change my sex. As a part-time/occasional crossdresser, I feel like I get the best of both worlds:I get to assume a different "persona" and enjoy wearing womens clothing, which, let's face it, is far more interesting, colorful, creative, and COMFORTABLE than traditional mens clothing, and I still keep all of my "equipment," don't have to make any permanent (physical) changes, I can go back to being a "guy" whenever I want to, and I don't have to worry about the more unpleasant aspects of womanhood such as periods, mood swings, periods, pregnancy, menopause, etc. Basically, crossdressing for me is like having all of the "glitz" of being a woman without all of "headaches" of being a (genetic) woman. However, our interest and indulgence in "femininity" should hopefully help those of us with women in our lives by encouraging us to be more understanding and supportive of them as they deal with their "headaches." Such understanding and support might help encourage them to be more accepting of our interest in the "glitz" as well.
I do not hate my male side as it is part of me, but my preference would be to live as a woman.
For various reasons for many years I was unable to express my female side which caused me considerable stress at times, but now that I live alone I can express it whenever I want, which is now every day after work except when family or friends are around.
I think have found now a balance in my life, though there are times when I can sink into deep depression and every day life gets so very hard to bear. I have no desire whatsoever to have sex with a man and prefer the company of women both physically and mentally. I however do not think I will ever live with a GG again
Mind of a Woman,Body of a Man, Life is a Bitch
Well I don't hate my male side...it's just that my female side, Chrissie, is much more predominate and in control. My male side has his purpose and functions, and I do believe that Chrissie has allowed him to evolve over the years as well. He is there to be Chrissie's protector and satisfy expectations of what a man is supposed to be according to societal expectations of our gender role.
Love,
Chrissie
Why? Why not?
This is a very interesting thread. I am more than a little Native American, I don't know the exact percentage but almost all my grandparents were part Indian.
There used to be a third gender. At least in Native American cultures, and if it exists in that culture why not in every culture ?
I do really think we may all belong to that gender. If so, apparently we are actually very special beings who are plugged into a higher spiritual plane than our drab brothers and sisters. Hee Hee it almost makes us like the Elvish race in the Tolkein novels, doesn't it?
This link is just sort of an introductory to how things are for gay or transgendered kids in Native American culture today.
Seems to apply almost equally to us as well.
http://www.imdiversity.com/villages/...irits_0305.asp
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