So it finally happened to me!

[tricia_uktv]

I agree with everything that has been said, particularly about communicating and taking things slowly. The one thing I would add is to watch youself closely. We do have a tendency to get carried away. I had a supporting SO but, and it was within me, I kept having to push myself and test myself further until it blew up. Remember both she and you will change over time. But a brilliant start, enjoy yourself Chantelle!!

[ChantelleCD]

Hi Chantelle


There is something else you may want to consider

Why dont you ask her to join the forum I am sure she would enjoy chatting with the other Genetic Girls

She has already said she wonts to make herself a member on the forum. If she does or not that is a different thing. I have suggested she do so, it might help her to understand a little more about it from different angles. I know she has been talking to people on gender chat rooms. We will see what happens

[ChantelleCD]

The one thing I would add is to watch youself closely. We do have a tendency to get carried away. I had a supporting SO but, and it was within me, I kept having to push myself and test myself further until it blew up.

Hi Tricia, I totaly understand. I can see how easy it is to get carried away, she has told me how far I can go with it and where she draws the line. Im fine with that.

[Tvanessa]

Sounds very familiar to me but my girl didn't move out. Things should be looking even better soon enough, just be patient.

[Fitzkim]

I started in the thought that I was going to end this post in "this website needs to change its name!" If she hadn't seen the title of this website she wouldn't of suspected anything. But if that was the case I would of never known how remarkable my SO can be. So thank you crossdressers.com

Chantelle X

I'm with you on the name. If it was called something different, like superhiddencrossdressingforum.com, I never would have found you all!

[RobertaFermina]

I'm so glad to see 'telling the truth' has led to greater happiness.

Roberta

[Ms_Judys_pet]

Congrats, good luck.
A wife who understands is wonderful.
my ex did understand but wasn't in favor of me practicing often.
Ms Judy loves me in a skirt. Even if i am looking male, or especially when i am looking male....
my one piece of advice would be to find out what she would like to see you in and kind of flow with it. She may find it sexy.
She may also have some great suggestions about what would look good on you.

[MsJoann]

A couple months ago, my SO found a picture of me dressed on my computer desktop background.
She had been enroute to my home for the weekend and decided to stop by my office for a visit.
I had not shut down the puter and it was too late...she saw it.
(previously, she had seen little cameo face shots of me).
Now she knows I have been doing this for some time now but rhe "reacted" in shock and stormed out and headed for my home.
I was about 4 miles behind her on what I called a "white knuckles" drive home. Upon arriving home, I found her crying and asking why, why, why, why!! I tried to console her and hug her but she pulled away saying "dont touch me"!! Sobbing.
I calmly explained that this was a way of personal art....expressing myself. A few other creative words were used and the whole situation ended within 15 minutes and never was brought up again.
She still does not understand all this,, nor wants to waste her time discussing it. She just shakes her head and turns the other way, not wanting to understand.
Don't get me wrong now, she does not sabotage my activities or prevent or threaten me but it seems that after that shocker...she has become more loving and understanding of my feelings.

[Darlene-VA]

It is so nice to hear a positive story likes your, thanks for sharing and by all means take the lady out to a fine meal.

[Mistybtm]

Wow that is great I am happy for you.

Does anyone know of a good source for this i have some explaning to do my self soon and would be nice to have some info for her to read .
Thank you all

[TxKimberly]

Way cool - it is so much easier on the heart if you don't have to hide it.
Advice - just one little bit - don't push too hard too fast. When I first told my wife, she was the first person I had ever told, and the obviously the first person I could talk to, and I proceeded to do so. Again, and again, and again . . .
While she didn't have a real problem with it, she DID get sick of hearing about it after a while. So, take a deep breath, calm down, relax, and try not to unload all the pent up thoughts and feelings at once.

[sami1952]

I'm so happy things work out for you,you must be very special to her for her to understand.all i got to say is you luck girl!!!

[JaytoJillian]

Hi, Chantelle, my SO found out the exact same way, but from my most recent post, there was no happy ending for me. Not just yet anyway. I am truly happy for you, as carrying such a secret is quite the burden to bear. Best of luck to you and your SO.

Hugs,


Jillian

[Sandi C]

When I told my wife, she suprised the crap out of me. She has been so supportive, she has helped ME through all of this. I feel so lucky to have her as my wife. Good Luck!

[Paige.]

Congratulations Chantelle. I hope the pleasure of yout discovery is long lasting.

From my perspective I can only loudly echo Alarmclockgirl's sage advice. It is critical for your success and aceptance by your wife.

Don't forget that she will be on a steep learning curve and may fall off at times. I think most women that 'discover' their hushand's weird hobby are not only shocked but deeply afraid he may be gay.

In accepting you as Chantelle, she will have her own demons to slay and they could come in a variety of forms. You don't know but be prepared for anything. It is even possible that seeing you dressed may raise questions about her own sexual orienation and that could be frightening and confusing. Her needs must be addressed. It can't be all about you and your wanting to dress and express.

Please go slow and don't overload the circuits.

I am happy for you. Good luck.
Paige

[Staci]

Congratulations Chantelle. I agree. Take it slow. Help her understand. Listen to her as you go. Enjoy the ride. My wife has known since we were dating and it has been great. Good luck to you and your SO.

[silkandsatincd]

Thanks for sharing your story. Lucky for you she has come around so fast. I told my wife recently and she told me she doesn't want to know about it or see me. I sent her a link to this site and suggested she read the forums for Loved Ones, she said she doesn't want to waste her brain power on it. Nedless to say I am very dissapointed about it, but others on the board suggested I give her time.

Enjoy your stay.

[silkandsatincd]

Hi Page,

Good advise, I needed to hear this. Thanks!

[Paula Wilder]

You are all so encouraging - my wife would hock up a hairball and scratch my eyes out, then feast on the remains of my carcass! Actually, that's just my worst case scenario imagination at work - I haven't a clue how she'd react, and don't plan to find out anytime soon. Happy for you, though, and a bit jealous...

Hugs (and pouts),

Paula

[MsJoann]

You climb the ladder one rung at a time with coming out. Just enjoy every step along the way, and most of all....enjoy yourself and thank God you're not stuck in the basement with a model railroad. Be bold and show the world your legs!!!

[heidi99]

That's terrific! Lots of sage advice here. Take things nice and slow (at her pace.) Sounds like she is interested and willing to learn about this side of you.

There was a friend (former gf) that found some of my things, and put the questions to me. And I too didn't have an appropriate answer at the time. At a later date, though, I did tell her and she said, "I know." The point is girls are pretty adept at figuring things out. The questions (and withdrawal) were motivated by her surprise and lack of data about how things were going to go. Talking to others, and getting more knowledge solves the latter problem, and you being supportive and taking it easy will help give her the data she needs to decide what's best for her (having a girlfriend and boyfriend all rolled into one.)

Above all, you have your personal integrity!!! Now you don't have to carry around that secret (weighs a ton, doesn't it!!!)

Heidi99

[Stephanie Scott]

One of the things I have discovered after telling my wife is that it made ME feel closer to her. It brought our relationship to another level because now she knows everything about me. No more secrets. We communicate better. I can openly empathize with her more easily. It added a facet to our relationship. But it's not easy. It is definitely a process. And I think overall it's probably been much easier for me than her. But she has been fantastic. I can't have asked for better. Her response has been understandably uneven, but she makes a tremendous effort to understand and accommodate.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Hey Chantelle... how have things progressed since you began this thread?

Zara

[MJ]

i am thinking the same thing Zara

[Blonde]

From some of the theads here, I would say you are quite lucky. Like me.

For me and my SO, We had started out as just friends, then after about 5 or so years, we became a couple. That went for another 2 or 3 years. Then we moved in together.
Then one day she found a cigarette butt in the toilet with lipstick on it.....
At 1st she thought that maybe I was fooling around on her... so we sat down and talked.. the first thing I said about it was, some humour, "I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok" (a bit of python to break the silence)....She had the same questions as yours, was I gay (no), Bi(no), want to become a woman(no), she was not a lesbian,...etc....
At the time there was no internet, and not a lot of material about it, so it was hard to look it up, but she still tried to understand. Eventually her acceptance grew, along with her understanding that this was part of who I was. So after a year (or 2)of living together we got married. (19 years as of this post, and as strong as ever)
I dress when I want (I am actually dressed right now, Bra w/forms, girdle, sleep shirt), and our sex life is fine (I dress durring sex most times). We often joke about how narrow minded people can be, as well as what her family would say if they found out (her family is very conservative, and her mother would probably want me committed to a psyc hospital to get "cured")

We seldom if ever fight (can only think of one time we fought). Our Secret? We never go to bed angry, have a "cool down" before arguing (never argue when you are hopping mad), and end each day with "I love you".