What flipped the switch??
What is it inside of all of us that eventually makes us want to be seen by people dressed up?Almost all of us was once content with walking around the house dressed up,walking past the mirrors just to see if we made the look.Than one day we feel we need to venture out,mostly in lightly populated areas but still in the public eye.Just food for thought!
Hug's Dusty
If we wouldn't know the answer already, the crucial question should be the other way round.
Why we don't want to be seen by people ?
It's completely normal to decorate yourself and to show your identity, individuality, social status, etc. this way. That's probably one of the most basic behaviors of a social being. It's so normal that you usually don't even notice it.
The obscure thing is the closet. Actually it doesn't make much sense at all to decorate yourself for your own. At least the dream or wish to be seen and to be respected for what you are is always present.
We are isolated by our fears, which keep us in the closet. When the fear weakens the need to socialize will take effect.
Last edited by Marla S; 10-13-2007 at 07:45 PM.
It's not about being seen by people, its about living my life, and life is outside.
I think it has something about being excepted as a person. What ever we are, we all want to be excepted as a good person. Weather it's as a she or a he, we want to have ppl love us for what we are, not what they think we should be....BJ
Yes, we want to be accepted, and live our lives,but I think your right, Dusty--many of us want to be seen.I know I do.This is a complete 180 from when I'm not dressed.I just have a different attitude when dressed.
"And if you want some fun, sing Ob-Bla-Di-Bla-Da!"
I think (for me at least) being seen is merely another "enhancement" to my feeling more feminine. The clothes, shoes, & make-up are all ways to express my femininity, & each one helps me feel a lil' more validated as a woman. To express all of that with others gives me an even more profound sense of validation. I feel so naturally feminine when others interact with & treat me as a woman, & when someone is really attracted to me that way.... WOW!!
Hugz,
Veronica
For me it was like the old saying - "All dressed up, but nowhere to go"
It's not just being seen and accepted by others, which is wonderful - but it's also having that feminine life, as well as looking feminine.
I think it has to do with being accepted for who you are. That is the way it is for me anyway.
So far, this site, and another more photo friendly CD site, have satisfied these needs for me. The other site allows me to see who has viewed my profile and anyone can leave a message. I live alone but have children part time. I associate only "fear" with "going out dressed".
RS
myspace.com/robertsherry
Originally Posted by vikki2020
I often wonder how much influence the mother has on our thought patterns when were in the womb? Who knows how much of a connection is there in that regard. I mean how many of us that are born male but our mom's really really wanted a girl? Maybe there's no connection there at all but I often wonder about this and think that may be part of the whole picture. Guess we may never know.
Weeeeeeee
My girlfriend in college used to put makeup on me and we would play around........then she dared me out of the blue to buy a female swimsuit for a beach trip. I did and made a huge leap from occasionally wondering what it would be like to buying clothing and changing how I thought about things. I have been out in public several times and can't imagine my life without crossdressing.
Before her, I hadnt done much more than swiping a pair of mom's old pantyhose and looking at female swimsuit models (and their clothes) differently thn most guys probably did in high school- you know- not just thinking they were hot- wanting to look like that in those bikinis.
After reading what I have over the years...the thing i wonder about is why I started so late? The first time it ever crossed my mind tht i remember is when I was 14 watching a 20/20 show on crossdressing.......and even then I didn't move forward for 6 more years
I like to think of it as completing the circle. The begining of the circle is where you are dressing in the closet behind close doors and halfway through you are becoming bolder and purchase a wig and as ayou are coming to or 3/4's of the completion of the circle you are dabbling with make up and finally complete the circle by going out in public............and its a great feeling.
It's a good question, because I can remember very clearly making the transition. Of course, my own development was gradual and it's taken me a long time to get this far. Many people seem to develop much faster than I have and I can imagine that for them the distinction between "dressing at home" and "presenting as a woman" never developed - it all happened at once, so to speak.
As to what "flipped the switch", I think it was perhaps 1) reaching a certain level of expertise and satisfaction with my femme appearance or 2) realizing that there were opportunities (at night, etc. as you suggest) or something like that. But, it's interesting that as this has continued, it's become more and more important to be perceived as a woman and almost equally important not to be perceived as a man. I just feel better, more at home, more myself when I am "sitting on the distaff side of the aisle".
Olivia
"Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, ... or you shall learn nothing." - Thomas Henry Huxley
"There are three sexes - men, women and girls." - Ambrose Bierce
I was dressed, needed a good cup of coffee, and well the rest is history....heheh
I just love the rush of being in public all dressed up, but thats me.
Hugs.
SandyR
Last edited by SandyR; 10-14-2007 at 07:21 PM.
Real Men can Cook in Heels...
A good question and lots of interesting answers. I think the answer is in the individual desires one has. Being accepted, feeling free, etc. Plus I do believe that there is a strong element of wanting to show ourselfs off and to feel guilt free. And it is the being quilt free aspect that keeps us hidden in the closet for so long.
Beats the snot out of me???
I had the "urge to purge" a couple of years ago...I'd done it at least a couple of times before and had regretted it both times, so I decided that it was time to, um...poop or get off the pot and acknowledge my feminine nature to at least part of the rest of the world. It was a tremendous relief, to say the least, and I've been slowly (but hopefully surely) growing from there, not as a man or as a woman, but as a multifacted adult human being.
I'm probably the odd one, but for me "going out" is simply a very thrilling and exciting thing to do. I don't really feel like a woman when I'm dressed - I've never known what that means - but I thoroughly enjoy being out and about as Karen. I thought the desire to do it (mixing and mingling) would diminish with repetition but that hasn't happened in over 40 years of doing it. I still love it and probably always will.
"Sometimes it's hard to be a woman"...Tammy Wynette
Someone on another board (MHB) once told me dysphoria seems to have three axes -
- Unhappiness with one's image
- Discomfort with one's body
- Dislike of the way one is treated, socially
We all have different strengths of these? The first two are different..
Well, it strikes a chord with me?
Nicki
[SIZE="1"]Moi?[/SIZE]
We are a naturally curious species
No matter how long it takes us the getting out eats away a lot of people
This is mostly controled by the fear factor and the do we look good enough factor
So I dont think someone flipped the switch on
Its more like we have turned it of for various reasons
That's it!!!! That's being a woman, or close enough!
Olivia
"Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, ... or you shall learn nothing." - Thomas Henry Huxley
"There are three sexes - men, women and girls." - Ambrose Bierce
For me, it has to be the sheer thrill of experiencing life outside of the confines of a private space. I want to share with others all the effort and time I have put into looking pretty. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone to go about my business. But, then there are other times, when I want to interact with others, such as going out to a club or restaurant. It truly is a liberating experience to go out and know that the only real limitations are in your own mind.
That makes complete sense to me! The more I get out, the more I want to. And if I can't get out, for whatever reason, I feel less inclined to dress. I've even gotten to the point where lightly populated areas aren't enough. I go right downtown, cause I wanna be seen! By as many people as possible. It of course took time to build that much confidence, and I still get nervous from time to time, like when I guy is walking right toward me and checking me out, I think "OMG, I'm gonna get read!" But it never turns out that way. Or maybe most people are just too polite to say anything even if they do realise. I don't really care, as long as I'm physically safe. Either way, Being out and about is just too much fun!
Hugs,
Melissa
What's the point of instruments, words are a sawed off shotgun-Radiohead
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/melissa.c.keiper
Like most of us, we grew up in a society where a male dressing as a female was frown at. This along with the normal teenage fustrations and Insecurities kept most of us in the closet. As we matured and as we mastered dressing en fem better, there comes a time when we start thinking what it would be like to be outside dressed. Then one day we get brave enough to try it. If your lucky, nothing happens and you try it again. Then you start pushing the barrier more and more.
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