Is there anybody out there?

[Zee]

There has always been a terrific support group here for any number of situations. I appreciate and read all advice, even when the advice does not apply to my situation. This site has made me laugh, cry, understand view points that I would never have considered and has given me a place online where I can find a kinship with others that I have lacked for so long in my life. You are all special ladies to me. Thank you all for being there for me.

One thing I have noticed is that a lot of people on this forum tend to refer to themselves as a completely different individual when dressed. This seems foreign to me as I have never been able to think of myself as two different people. I am me, I am outwardly male (not by choice) and inwardly female. I have never been able to turn off the female side of me, nor have I ever wanted to. I can not remember a day when I hadn’t worn my emotions on my sleeve. I am not shy, but I am very quiet and observant in my day to day life. I believe these traits stem from my inwardly female outlook in life. There have been a number of times when people have told me that I remind them of a woman, although my 6’2” 240 lbs frame would indicate differently.

What I am curious about is how many others out there are like minded? Do you feel that you are the same person dressed or undressed? Can you empathize with a woman who cries on your shoulder and share a cry with her? Do you like to watch “chick flix”? Can you share your feelings with ease and when you do, do you feel better? Is your emotional well being more important to you than your physical or financial well being?

There are so many facets of cross dressing that there is never a “one answer solves all” solution. I know there are so many varieties of cross dressers out there that no two would ever be the same. I am just wondering if I am alone.

I wish you all the sincerest joy and sense of self worth. You are all important people to me and I love you all deeply. Thanks for reading.

Z

[vivianann]

Zee I can relate with you, I do not feel that there is two different peaple within me, I have always been feminine in my behavior, and alot of peaple have told me that, especially my mother. I may look like a man on the outside, however I feel female on the inside too. I tried to hide my femme side when I was youger, now I want to express my feminine side, and I wish to look female on the outside, I do identify as female. I can also epathize with women especially when they cry, I am very tenderhearted, and I have cried with women, I do feel better when I share my feelings especially with other women. the last question about emotional well being is important to me, however so is financial well being.

[Sheri 4242]

Zee,

What a thoughtful, articulate, and kind thing to express to the forum! IMO, you, while acknowledging our differences, have said what we all pretty much feel. I like your candor and sensitivity!

Regarding your inquiry on those expressing different names, I don't know how old you are, or other factors, such as how long you have been crossdressing. Personally, for a long time I didn't see myself as two different people. Today I do, but in a dichotomy -- two out of one -- two, yet one. You pretty much nailed it in one statement when you said, "There are so many facets of cross dressing . . ."

To another part of what you asked: No, absolutely no!!! You are NOT alone!!!

[marny]

wow. Put so well. Very eloquent. I suspect your size makes it impossable to pass but if we were judged by words you are a beautiful sister.

[charllote34]

Zee i think you make a lot of sense and basically i never had a name so to speak up until this year . When i am dressed i do feel differant but in a good way more happier , and after several hours of being dressed i feel the same as i have allways felt which tell s me that i am me whatever clothes i wear .
Their is a saying "clothes make the man " and in all our cases thats so true .

[Kate Simmons]

I used to be two polar opposites. Now, however, after a lot of work, have amalgamated things into one. I'm always the same person no matter how I'm dressed and no matter what I do.

[Sheri 4242]

I used to be two polar opposites. Now, however, after a lot of work, have amalgamated things into one. I'm always the same person no matter how I'm dressed and no matter what I do.

It can get confussing, of that I am certain. Sal, in her usual succinct form, has extended the complexities out to pure simplicity. Does that mean we absolutely agree 100%? Not really! But, that said, I get the impression we are still "on the same page," so to speak. I know I am but one person, but as far as Im concerned, the one person that is me is dichotomous -- one, but two from the one.

[Kate Simmons]

It can get confussing, of that I am certain. Sal, in her usual succinct form, has extended the complexities out to pure simplicity. Does that mean we absolutely agree 100%? Not really! But, that said, I get the impression we are still "on the same page," so to speak. I know I am but one person, but as far as Im concerned, the one person that is me is dichotomous -- one, but two from the one.

I agree Sheri, as you said, it can be confusing. We know what we are doing however. Salandra is the umbrella that encompasses both Rich and Ericka. Even though I have amalgamated my overall self, I still enjoy all of the individualistic aspects of my dichotomy and embrace them. Simple to me really but complex to someone who may not understand.

[Wenda]

HMMM, good question. Depending upon my situation, mood, etc, there are at least two femme identities, Wenda and Polly. When I am dressed en drab, their voices may come out, and I do notice great shoes, nice nails, weight loss, new hair, etc, but it is not as a sister. It is as a guy who really notices and appreciates women. Wenda and Plly have helped me with that, a great deal. I have learned to be a bit cautious, however, because, if I am in femme mind=set, and can relate to something emotional that a woman is expressing, if I go over and hug her like a sister, it could be a bit upsetting for her. w

[rustynail]

Zee
I have no desire to have a femme identity - see my handle for this forum. I have often wondered whether I have an extra dose of femininity as i like chatting with friends and have a sensitive nature. I have always been strongly heterosexual and love the company of women. I underdress largely because of the physical kick, but it seems to comfort me in my rather lonely life. Many of the items I buy have been preowned by women abd thart adds to the allure - I am not being so much like a woman as involved inside them, their minds, feelings and ultimately their bodies - but as a man. Does that make any sense?

[Sara Kat]

I'm one of those that feels like there are two different people within me, constantly battling for supremacy. I find it very frustrating because both halves have completely different goals. For example, my male side wants to enhance my body physically, while my female side wants to work for a more feminine appearance.

[Rita B]

I think I know where you are coming from. I consider myself as one person. I admit that sometimes I refer to "Richard" as the third person, the outside one, the interloper. Unfortunately, for economic and social reasons, we live in a world not of our making. I may present a male persona outside but inside I am always totally female, feminine, woman. I look at life and situations through the eyes of a woman. I appraise another woman as a woman would, not as a man. When I watch TV or TV commercials I view them as a woman would, not as a man. While a guy may see a model and make a comment about her being a "hot chick", I check out what she is wearing; her makeup, her hair, her shoes or boots. I have no male friends and do not want any. I do not bond well with other males. I feel far more comfortable in the company of women. Make of that what you would, but yes I am transgendered . I wish that I could be a total "package" but that is wishing for the moon right now. So I do what I can to give myself an outlet for the femme side of me.

Good luck, dear heart

Rita B

[Angie G]

Some times I get so into dressing it seems I am another person I think it helps deal wih the day to day BS of life
Angie

[Zee]

Thank you all for your positive replys. It is good to know that I am not alone.

Love you all

Z