Women arent daft ..

[PaulaJeanette]

Mirani,

Oh, I bet you're on cloud nine and feel so relieved that you finally have others to share your feminine self with.

BUT

In reading your responses and relaying the gist of your conversations, I can't help wondering...

1. Are these ladies making Mirani their new play interest/toy? I can't wait to hear their reaction to your decision, especially, if you decide to keep your life as Mirani separate from your business.

2. What are the potential ramifications for your business relationship with each other, especially, since you are a partner and boss to these ladies?

Hugs,

PaulaJeanette

[mollytyler]

Came out to my co-workers years ago...even though they already had sensed my issues....and i was lucky that it was total acceptance....management has been accepting recently and it was such a relief to allow myself to be open about my TS needs....I also had fears of coming out to co-workers and possibly them using it as a "weapon" but since it has been so open, that potential weapon is totally disarmed....lucky to be in a creative field of entertainment also, where my TS issues are a mere blip....I say explore and test Mirani with the girls as much as possible but do not let it become a wedge between Mirani and responsiblities of the workplace....ENJOY!!!!!!!

[Julogden]

Hi Mirani,

That is absolutely the most beautiful thing I've ever read here. What a gift they've given you, they are real friends! You have truly been blessed.

I hope that it's just the beginning of many good things to come for you.

Carol

[Melissa Davis]

at the end of the day one of the girls said "Dont forget to take the flowers home for Mirani"

Ok... After reading though all this, that brought a tear to my eye. How sweet!

As far as the dinner, I say go for it. Dress up and have a good time.

[Sonia_cd]

Mirani, you are living all our collective dreams and hopes honey! I am so happy for you and that you found a comfortable accepting environment too! Have fun and enjoy the ride.

Hugs,
Sonia

[CassieJ]

Congrats to you on your acceptance. People at work know I went CD for Halloween and have seen a few photos but I don't dare come out. Many people would be supportive but many would not. I work in a HUGE office and it may just be too disruptive.

I would embrace your opportunity and go have a good time.

Cassie

[S. Lisa Smith]

It appears that they want to help you and support you. I think they are excited about finding out more about you and finding a new friend. You know them better than we do (of course), don't be afraid but be cautious. Take baby steps and have fun!

[Violetgray]

Hmm... If it were me in this situation I'd be scared too, but excited.. Who knows, if you turn it down you might regret missing the opportunity later.....

[AllieSF]

Congratulations Mirani. I know that we all want only the best for you and that we also do sometimes tend to live this side of ourselves through others successes. I say say listen to your gut feeling and do what you think is best. If everything is going to work out great in the future, you will have plenty of opportunities to go out with the girls from the office as Mirani. I would only suggest that you tell them your reasons and your desire to slow down the process in order to take small careful steps and not roaring leaps into the unknown. I think that they will begin to appreciate the potential complications as you answer their questions and develop a better repoire based on knowledge and understanding. Thay are accepting, but do they really understand the issues involved? Good luck with whatever you decide and thank you so much for sharing such a lovely and heartwarming part of your life.

[Suzy Harrison]

This is such a wonderful story - I'm so happy for you.

You could have said that although you couldn't make it for the Chrismas party, you have a thousand friends from all over the world who could make it okay !

Also - let me know when you need to take on a thousand new employees ?

PS: I guess it is all a bit daunting for you because you are moving into new territory - but with the 'risks' comes the great 'rewards' - go for it girl !

Suzy

[Mistybtm]

Mirani I Hate to be the only party pooper but instincs are there for a reason.
If that is what it is go with it, but if it is fear then the best way to get over it is to go and have fun and worry about the xmass after this outing you will get a better understanding were all this is going. .

Be carefull but don't let fear control you.
Mistybtm

[Mirani]

Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and thoughts. Here are some responses to particular messages:


MJ
I think you do NOT understand my situation. It’s not FEAR – I see it as wisdom to consider a response – a bit like the maxim “Look before you leap!”
And it is a tad insulting to call it “chicken out”. It is not cowardice (thats the inference!).
We are programmed to sense and respond to possible danger –it can keep us alive! It’s called Risk Assessment. Benefits versus Losses.

I am not here to live out someone else’s fantasy and because “someone else may take my place in a heartbeat” – that is a foolish reason to do anything.

I am grateful for people taking the trouble to consider my position and make recommendations, however I feel your “encouragement” may be a bit of “fools rush in where wise men fear to tread”. So, I will not “Just do it”.



JoAnnD
Thanks
I have been “out” regularly for some time – its not the being “out” that concerns me. It is the mixing of “Mirani” me with the rest of my life. Mirani is separated elsewhere. Mirani friends don’t know my non-Mirani life and vice versa.


MollyT
Yes, it is the confusion of workplace and social which worries me.



Mistybtm
Yes, instincts are there for a reason

Thanks again one and all. I realise to some this is what we have dreamed of forever .. being "one of the girls". It is certainly one of my desires. But not at the cost of other important life needs.

I have been in the "Pink Fog" before and lost my way. I intend to think each step and I may well go out next Thursday and do the christmas thing.
BUT
I may not.

I hope my responses dont prevent you from continuing to offer your thoughts and ideas - as long as you dont mind me responding too.

[S. Lisa Smith]

I can't recall who said it in one of the answers but I think that talking to them about your concerns with mixing your Mirani time and your work time would be beneficial. They will realize your concerns and perhaps offer suggestions. In my case, my secretary knows I am a CDer. Sometimes we talk about clothes and I show her my pictures, but work is work. My situation and relationship with her is different than yours, she has been my secretary for 16 years and a great working partner. I offer this only as a possible example of a positive outcome,however your situation is different than mine.

[Littlej10]

You have a great bunch of friends and your situation is every girls dream and every girls dread when this kind of decision has to be made. A little like mixing romance and work. You are in this for life, your friends are obviously enjoying the novelty of the situation. You are wise to be cautious, talk to them in depth about your reservations and how they see your future work and leisure relations. I had a few working friends who were "in the know" but I never dressed at work and the knowledge never went beyoh=nd a small circle.
Good luck, I hope it all works out well now and for ever.
LoL.

[Patty]

What a lucky girl you are to have that support-it is hard to say what I would do. Go with your feelings-small steps.

[Mitch23]

A belated congatulations Mirani and well done that you have thought through all the options and possibilities and are proceeding cautiously. You may remember my recent account of my 'girlie night out' at the theatre when i voluntarily outed myself to my work colleaugues but in a way that meant I could escape with dignity intact. I too have been proceeding gently and considering the risks since then. I am now treated very much as one of the girls and i don't need to dress up for that. In time it might be appropriate to go further in my work situation or it might not. we all have to judge these situations for ourselves

love

mitch

[Mirani]

Just had a phone call from my business partner.

"I want you to know we all support you. I have had a feeling about you for a long time and you must know how much I respect you as a partner. I just want you to know how much we admire you."

I didnt know what to say.

She offered to meet me (Mirani) alone first if it would help.

I thought for a minute. I have known her for a long time. This was an extended hand of friendship. I have nothing to lose.
I told her I am going to a Trannie Friendly pub tomorrow for lunch. She is welcome to join me.

She said "what will you be wearing? So I can wear something that fits in"

I said, "blue capsleeved top, light grey slacks, blue two and a half inch heels"

She said "You know what I am looking forward to?"
Me, "Sunday Dinner?"
Her "No, ... going to the loo together" .. and laughed
Me "you know what I am looking forward to?"

Her "No"
Me "borrowing your lipstick"
Her "Cheeky moo!"

I feel very positive now.

[MJ]

MJ
I think you do NOT understand my situation. It’s not FEAR – I see it as wisdom to consider a response – a bit like the maxim “Look before you leap!”
And it is a tad insulting to call it “chicken out”. It is not cowardice (thats the inference!).
We are programmed to sense and respond to possible danger –it can keep us alive! It’s called Risk Assessment. Benefits versus Losses.

I am not here to live out someone else’s fantasy and because “someone else may take my place in a heartbeat” – that is a foolish reason to do anything.

I am grateful for people taking the trouble to consider my position and make recommendations, however I feel your “encouragement” may be a bit of “fools rush in where wise men fear to tread”. So, I will not “Just do it”.

First of all please forgive me .. it was not my intension to insult you at all..

Risk Assessment. Benefits versus Losses. you have wonderful support from co workers and you say :-- I suppose I am worried that once the cat is really out of the bag, where will it end? I so want to say yes, but something inside me is saying "be careful" - I am even doubtful about the wisdom of the Christmas party too.

I have a feeling that I might need to keep "Mirani" separate from the workplace.

Now feeling heavyhearted about it all.

Sounds like a dream, come true - could end up as a nightmare. I have always kept "Mirani" away from the other me. People who know Mirani don't know the other me. But not any more.
The excitement has been replaced by trepidation.
sounds like FEAR to me and this :---
“fools rush in where wise men fear to tread
well Guess what buddy you outed yourself !!! you were seen you are busted
in my experience so far being full time is nothing but respect .. just like the girls at work are trying to do for you ... your secret is out .. what are you going to do *** kill all who know about you ***
sorry for trying to support you .. the damage is done you are out !!! enough said wake up and smell what you are shoveling

[Mirani]

I suppose by posting on a public forum it means I have to accept negative as well as positive responses.

Just - I dont think "wake up and smell what you are shovelling" is necesary .. if it wasnt your intention to be insulting, you have a funny way of showing it.

I dont feel being called a chicken, (coward) is supportive .. still you have your view and I have mine. We will have to agree to differ.

[Stephanie Anne]

That is a very wise thing to err on the side of caution.

I can only imagine the rush of feeling of being outed (in a good way), having something private be placed up front in your public life and having so many people now interested in you inner most secrets.

I could see if you want to transition this being something else but for someone not quite sure of the direction they want to go, I applaud you.

If it were me I would slowly incorporate my female self into my male life, but only to the level I felt comfortable.

Why not give it a shot and just let them know that you are very private about this and do not want it to be pushed in any way. If you feel like letting Mirani be your public persona then this would be an excellent way to transition into it.


And for the record I think you are one of the bravest people I can think of, the stress must have nearly made you faint! Holding back when I am sure your heart is racing to live a fantasy is very wise and for lack of a better word, very cool.

[Mirani]

Oh no .. not brave at all.

but thanks

[BarbaraTalbot]

I feel good. I think its called "acceptance".

Ahh, the A-word that is the Holy Grail of all transgendered people... We can't be there, so you'll just have to take extra enjoyment in it for he rest of us! :-)

Reasonable cautions not-withstanding, I would encourage you to savor this moment above.

Sure, the pink fog by its very nature can cloud judgment, but its presence itself isn't unpleasant.

You don't seem a fool, you don't seem to be rushing in.

Your co-workers (Employees? Partner?) may well be extraordinary people. Perhaps your gift was choosing well who you associate with. On the other hand, perhaps they looked inside you and found you to be worth knowing.

I can understand the possible difficulty of maintaining authority if the cat gets out of the bag...I fear that kitty has been set quite free.

You seem to have earned the respect in your male mode. It seems a bit unlikely (though admittedly not impossible) that a group of women as fine as they seem to be, would respect you any less for seeing your femme side which is as a strong woman. I don't in anyway see you hear as a caricature of a women so why would they?

I don't sense that they are viewing this experience as just a lark or a curiosity for light amusement. The reason I think this is how carefully they themselves (in apparently group discussion) have carefully allowed every step to be completely at your comfort level.

You are seeing the very real risks, it looks like they have had the same thoughts and are working to mitigate that.

whatever you decide, whatever your comfort level, it is very interesting to read about. Obviously our vicarious thrill is the least important factor here.

[Mirani]

I am not fazed that a small close group of women talk together. Its what women do!

My business partner seems to have had suspicions for a while anyway.

I trust my colleague and staff - I can easily see that they would discuss it together before doing anything or talking to me. It isnt blabbing .. its life. People talk. Women seem to share much more than men.

[Mirani]

Thanks for that Barbara
I'm "out" to my partner for lunch today .. so I suppose I have already made a decision there which will probably leak over into the other girls.

I am taking extra time to do my hair this morning!

[Melora]

Wow, All I can say due to the response you got both from your Girlfriends as well as the ones here too, is LUCKY YOU! hehe.. And bring some asperine too for the headaches..