looking .....seeing....?????

[Wendy me]

have you ever been looking at who you are as a crossdresser????ok let me try to explane this in just a realy short time now i have been looking at this whole crossdressing thing. i am like not thinking of quitting or any thing like that just seeing this in a new light. i could be over reacting but i just am seeing wendy in ways that i never saw her before.

see everything is realy diffrent when in my fem. mode my thinking and how i am the complete oppsite of my "him" side. i go on the excive side with every thing i do. but as of just a short while ago i almost got rid of her . that scared me and still dose.

every thing from dressing to even posting is like something i am realy thinking abought. and thats a good thing i think. could i be paranoied that i could just let her go??? is this the next phaze of what is to come??? i am like
just not too shure if this is a change in who i am . could this be a new me or what ??i know that every thing we do and go through changes us in some way. thats called growing and it's a good thing..

could i be confused?? possably yes i could be, but i am just worendering if this has happened to any one else
this whole looking at who you are at a point in this crossdressing thing ???

could i be like scared that i could lose her??? i don't know but i am realy doing a lot of thinking as of lattly.4/4/2005

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Wendy,

I don't think you can lose such a big part of you as Wendy.She is what makes you a whole person.It's like you can't have yin without yang,or good without evil.One is always there to balance the other.I have been thinking along the same lines lately and came to the conclusion that I can not lose Priscilla.I need her too much to balance my dark side, my male side.Just enjoy you for being you the balance will come.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[ToniB]

Looks like you got both sides showing in your avitar Priscilla. The soft feminine side in your pink bra, and your aggressive male side with the kalashnikovs. Woe betide anyone who calls you names!!!

ToniB

[Tristen Cox]

Simply put it's a relapse. This does happen. Nothing to fear or be ashamed of just something we all go through. To deny is only doing yourself injustice, to embrace it is divine. Forward on...into the mall we go

[Darlene.]

The only way IMO to know who you really are is to set yourself free to explore all of who you are. If one is repressing a certain part of this it can result in attempts at over compensating (over reacting) in other areas.

Love Darlene.

[Tiffy]

For the past few years I would dress for a while and then I would try to suppress it. It did not work real well. Every time i tried to not dress and force April away I would become moody and incomplete. Well about a year ago my wife and I had a huge fight. Finally she got so mad at me the she screamed at me. Do you know what she said? "I wish you would go and put you fem clothes back on. Because when you do not wear them you are a total *******." That rocked my world. I did not put my clothes back on till later that night after she had laid them on the bed for me. When I went and changed I felt so much more at peace and relaxed. On that day I realized that April is me and I am April. With out her I am not whole. I am nothing. So from then on I have never tried to suppress her. And I feel much better and right now I can say that I am enjoying life. I am not sure if this is any help to you Wendy. But I know I was so shocked when I read your posts last week. When I did that it felt like I died inside.

Hope things get better babe.

Love, April

[Wendy me]

i think i realy know what you mean i don't know what i would with out her ................
oh i am wendy for shure...just refinding who she realy is....we do crash and burn well ...jjust way too well .. could it be prevented if we just take some time to see just who we realy are???? the thought of what could happen if a next time happens is just not something i am ready to deal with ....... new and improved wendy ????maybe not but if we get that crashing thing out of the way every thing else we can deal with....

thanks...................