Can you quit cross dressing?

[Lindahexi]

Hi Sisters,
I have gone thru the better part of my life as a Transvestite/Cross Dresser.Even though I wanted to quit cross dressing a few times in my coss dressing days I've always had the urge to cross dress,& started back up not long after I said I quit for what ever reason (girlfriend/lover,job mainly) Even though I'm older CD (57) The obsession to cross dress is just as strong as it was when I was younger.What I want to know girls are you like me? I'm I just not strong willed enough to do it IF I HAD TOO? (I don't!) It's something that I could never figure out why I never could loose the urge to be a cross dresser all together "FOR GOOD", even though now I no desire too at all!
HUDS
TIMME
ARIZONA

Timme,

I am the same as you, and I reckon most cross-dressers are the same. Age doesn't seem to change anything, and however many times I've tried to stop (for whatever reason) I've always succumbed to the allure of female attire. It's just the feeling of the fabrics, the excitement of laying the clothes out and then putting them on; and that 'oh so good' feeling when I strut round the room and look in the mirror. It's intoxicating, compelling, irresistible.

Just enjoy it.

Hugs,

Linda.

[lara_myklund]

Not for long.

xx

[Brandy_Marie]

Can I quit crossdressing? Absolutely. I believe that as an intelligent person, I have the power to control any desire that I have. I can choose to ignore the desire or indulge in it as I like.

I think the more appropriate question is, should I? While I may be able to bury that part of me and ignore the urge flare-ups when they come, I don't think I'd ever be a healthy, complete person if I gave up my inner self.

Hugs,

Brandy Marie Devereaux

[Deelite]

Many times i have tried to 'stop' i remember the last time i did this was about 12 years ago, i had quite a few pairs of boots, pantyhose, and i threw them all out!! at the time i felt better about it, not having to sneak around, for the fear of being caught dressed up. (although i was living with my parents at that time)

Now, 12 years older, and like to think wiser, i have had the urge to dress again, now i am building up a collection i once had, and because i have told my GF, she said "is that all" totally not the answer i was expecting, that put a whole different light on my dressing and made me realise i was overreacting, and my attitude is now different.

I don't think the urges will ever go away, i don't want them to go away! but i have control over whether i dress or not, that is, i think the important thing.

Plus, the greatest thing, is talking to like minded people on this board, and knowing you are not the only one thinking and feeling like this.

Dee.

[Sigrid]

Well if really needed to, for whatever reason, I'm sure I could make a conscious effort to stop. That, or course would involve purging all my clothes and the like, I'd certainly regret that eventually. I did try to stop once many years ago. That lasted maybe several weeks, then the urge just crept right back in. I got some new clothes out the deal anyway.

What I learned then is that these tendencies are well beyond my control. If I did try to control it, I would only end up frustrated and depressed. I feel this to be true in any situation.

I've gone weeks, even months at a time without any desire to dress whatsoever. I knew, however, that the desire would come back in time and I simply remained prepared for that eventuality. In the last couple years I've really come to embrace it and I think this has resulted fewer and shorter "dry spells" - which is JUST FINE with me.

~Sigrid

[Marianne]

Can I quit? Probably.

Would I quit? Nope.

Cross-dressing is as much a part of me as using a computer, speaking english, liking cats, enjoying sci-fi and many other things.

It's neither an 'addiction' nor an illness. It poses no health problems to me (either mental or physical).

Your mileage may vary.

[Jocie]

I think we have all tryed to give it up at one time or another and I disagree with one of the previous links. I do not think you can truly give it up. Dosn't matter how inteligent you are, you just can't help yourself. I have tried on many occations and even burnt every piece of femaninity I owned. I felt good to begin with, like a heavy weight had been lifted from my mind, but slowly and surely I was being inexplicably drawn back into it.

I went through a bitter devorce and deciced that if I was going to start up a relationship again I would tell it up front and, one night, I was with my now girlfriend, I told her out straight that I had somthing important to tell her! She sat there all pensive about what I was about to say and then when I managed to draw up some inner strength I told here.

She said thank god for that, I thought you were going to tell me there was someone else !!!! Why don't you have a look through my wardrobe and see if you want to borrow anything ?

Be yourself whenever you can !

[Deborah757]

The question isn't whether or not you can quit. You can quit anything if you try hard enough. But can you make the need go away? Well, if anyone has figured out how to do that then please tell me because I have never been able to.

[Joanna]

why would you ever want to quit?

[DonnaT]

You can probably quit, if you tried hard enough and made sure you had no access to the clothes. I doubt the need or urge to dresss will ever go away. I've read in other forums, where one or two girls have said they managed to quit. But then the question arises, why are they on a CD forum and using a girls name.

Some of us married ones know all to well the pains some of our wives have gone through trying to deal with our CDing, and I for one would have liked to quit some time ago just to hold on to my wife. But I couldn't quit, and she knows it, so she is now more accepting.

[Jocie]

Cigarettes were a breaze to give up compared with crossdressing mind you I had only been smoking since the age of 16. My cross dressing started at the age of 5... bit harder to "give up".

[Melissa A.]

Hi timme,

This subject has been dealt with quite often here. It is one almost every cd has had to put themselves through at one time or another. I have written posts extensively describing my feelings on this. I don't want to be redundant, and if you scan my posts, it won't take you long to find them.

You sound similar to me, in some ways. Cding a long time(since four, for me), now in middle age(I'm a little younger, 45), been through the purge thing several times. We are not unusual, in those respects.

I don't think, if you are a crossdresser, quitting is an option. It is, of course, possible. But that kind of suppression, in my case had alot of negative effects on my life. (I just didn't know it because they were almost always there!) Since I have come out, to some degree, and accepted who I have always been, I have to tell you, Every single area of my life has improved. And I feel a peace that I truly never knew was attainable.

Quit? Maybe some can, and still be who they are. For me, Being a happy cd beats being an unhappy non-cd. Getting here was not easy. But here I am. Yay.

Hugs,

Melissa

[Bobbie Lee]

I have stopped many times just to start back up again, seems the older I get the more the urge pulls me to it. Love Bobbie

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

BITE YOUR TOUNGES!!!!!!! i could never quit dressing even it ment life or death,, im lost if im NOT wearing my pantyhose and wearing heels helps my back to feel better. my wife totaly supports my dressing she loves it and when i showed her that i dress all she said was is that all only purged once it is to costly to purge so if ur thinking of doing it better to just store ur clothes somewer instead because u WILL be wanting them back

[Brandy_Marie]

Hi brandy,
You must be the strongest willed person in world if you could "cold turkey" cross dressing intelligent or not.I have a high I.Q.but never been able to cold turkey cross dressing although I have cigerattes! hum??
HUGS TIMME

Timme,

Maybe I was being too literal or technical. I am betting that every single person here, if they were forced to choose between giving up CD'ing or dying, would be able to supress the urge (never underestimate the human survival instinct). I just meant that while I believe we can control the urge if we had to, I wouldn't advocate that we should. I think it'd be unhealthy to deny who we are.

I did it for a long time and was miserable all the while. Now I am happy and starting to feel whole.

And for the record, I couldn't quit cigarettes cold turkey.

Brandy Marie Devereaux

[Wendy me]

stopping crossdressing for a while or for good i don't think so see for lack of better terms or lables you are a cd. as mutch as you breath it a part of what makes you you
like this is who or what you /me / us are ...no not for long .....def. not for good ......

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Brandy Marie,

All of us have quit, most several times and for reasons of shame or trying to be the macho male.And yet, we all come back.There really is a woman sharing our body and until we accept that we will always have that constant conflict.I am as macho as any guy out there,yet I have a much nicer gentle side which is Priscilla.He can be a real AH,Priscilla is a lady unless something really pisses me off. The important thing is that you can achieve balance in your life by accepting that you have two opposite sides which have to learn to live together.This is not easy,but the easy things don't mean as much as the difficult things that you have overcome.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[Marianne]

Hi Brandy Marie,

All of us have quit, most several times and for reasons of shame or trying to be the macho male.And yet, we all come back.There really is a woman sharing our body and until we accept that we will always have that constant conflict.I am as macho as any guy out there,yet I have a much nicer gentle side which is Priscilla.He can be a real AH,Priscilla is a lady unless something really pisses me off. The important thing is that you can achieve balance in your life by accepting that you have two opposite sides which have to learn to live together.This is not easy,but the easy things don't mean as much as the difficult things that you have overcome.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

Yeah, what the lady with the machine gun said! (Who am I to argue?)

I've been there, done that, got my 'macho male' badge to prove it. Now that I'm *almost* grown up I can look back and say "so what?".

Being "Larry the cable guy" is easy.

Being "Marianne" is far more of a challenge for me. I haven't been trained for it, I have very little support (well personal support that is, there's LOTS of support here for me!).

Learning something 'simple' like being able to sit 'lady-like' is far more of a challenge than learning how to field strip an FN Rifle blindfold!

It's taken me the better part of 35 years to even *begin* to understand this side of me, and I still have a long way to go.

And I'd rather learn, than to deny who and what I am. I just wish I'd known what I know now back when I was a young pup. I spent 30+ years hiding, denying, pretending, attempting to 'conform'.

Had I accepted, and saught help, advice etc (and HAD a place to find help and advice!), then maybe thigns would be very different for me.

I have no regrets tho, and coming to understanding that was perhaps the biggest thing I've ever done.

[Tiffy]

Can I quit? Kinda....I did quit when I married my first wife. She was not understanding of it at all. I quit for almost two years. The urges just got stronger and stonger. It was a time in my life that was very tense. My dressing is a way to let all that go. At that time was unable to do so. Instead I put a gun to my head. Thankfully I am still here years later and with a supportive wife. I would never quit again for any thing or any one. It is just who I am.

Kisses, April

[Sweet Jeanette]

Ill NEVER quit; -------not with My present wife!

[Sweet Susan]

The only way I would even want to quit, not that I would want to quit in that instance, would be if my wife made it an "or else" ultimatum. But she's no dummy. She has come to learn where the power lies.

[Sindy]

I have quit everytime I have gotten involved with someone in fear that she might reject me for it. After they have rejected me for me just being me (not a good boyfriend, I somehow always screw up) I always go back to dressing.

[Stephanie]

I'd have to agree with everybody else who posted on here. I haven't had a LOT of experience with crossdressing as I only REALLY started crossdressing about 7 years ago but I abruptly stopped and "purged" all of my femme clothing about 3-4 years ago when I started seriously dating my wife because I didn't know how she would react to it (turns out she already knew because I had actually told her about when we were just friends but I had forgotten). I managed to go without ANY crossdressing for a long time but I always felt that part of me was missing and my urge to crossdress suddenly and inexplicably resumed with a vengeance a few months ago and I decided to start re-reading books on crossdressing, joining forums, and working towards greater self-acceptance and enjoyment of my crossdressing, something that I hadn't come close to acheiving when I first quit. Fortunately, my wife seems to be supportive (or at least tolerant) of my crossdressing and I now feel free to start buying clothes and indulging in my crossdressing again, this time without having to worry about hiding it or dealing with somebody who is hostile about it. I honestly don't think that somebody can totally "purge" themselves of their desire to crossdress anymore than somebody can change their sexual orientation and, as many people on this board have observed, even if we could get rid of or suppress our desire to crossdress, should we? I'm sure that all of us could (technically) stop crossdressing, pitch the clothes, and try to be as "manly" as possible but I'm not sure that there are very many people out there who would choose to stop unless it was absolutely necessary and I doubt that they would really be happy if they did. I've finally realized that I'm happy being who I am as a crossdresser and I would urge you and everybody else to devote more time and energy becoming more accepting of yourselves rather than trying to hide who you really are. Good luck!

[Sweet Susan]

Timme,
Are you posting to yourself?

[Lisa Maren]

Hi Everyone

I have read accounts from people who tell about how they stopped CDing for as many as 30+ years but in the end went back to it. There are other stories from people who say they've stopped it completely, but then has anyone followed up with those people years later to see if they're still not CDing? I feel this raises a very important question, which is: "Even if you did stop for a while, how would you know that you've really stopped?" It seems to me that the only way to be certain that it's really gone is to wait until the day you die and see if you're still not CDing. There isn't any sort of test that can prove that you've stopped it for good.

Besides, as has already been said (albeit in a different way), I believe that I, personally anyway, have a choice. I can accept myself totally and love being a CDer and go where that takes me. Or, I can try to stop, which means living a life of perpetual inner civil war, worrying endlessly about the possibility of falling back into it one day. (As someone else already said, there's a difference between the drive behind the crossdressing and the crossdressing behavior itself and the drive isn't going to go away).

Mind you, even if I were to succeed in stopping the crossdressing behavior, I'd still have to tell my future wife of my past CDing. This would include a kind confession that I can't absolutely guarantee it won't come back because I cannot know with certainty that it's really gone. I'd have to tell her just in case I ever did fall back into it. This would be the only way to guarantee that there would be no deception involved.

I'd rather just keep on keepin' on and doing my CD thing. I really only do feel at peace with myself this way because only when I let myself CD and let myself enjoy it am I free from fighting with myself over it. It's better for me, and as for my future wife, I believe it's better for her as well. It's better to deal with someone who's definitely a crossdresser and who won't deliver any future surprises (that is, if the CDer's been upfront about it from the start) than someone who says he's stopped but also says he can't guarantee it won't come back. Worse yet would be if someone tells her it won't come back even though (I feel) there's no justifiable grounds to give such a guarantee. I would not be the only one doomed to a life of uncertainty and angst about the future. She would be equally doomed to the same fate. That wouldn't be fair, would it?

Hugs
Lisa