It just gets better and better . . . NOT

[TxKimberly]

As I recently posted, we found out Thanksgiving day that my Mother in law apparently knows about me and has been kind enough to share that with at least some of my wife's family. (Thanks Mom, love ya'! Really! Mean it!) [SIZE="1"]hag[/SIZE]

Well today it got even better. My wife works at the same company I do so when I'm in town, we drive to work and back together. Today she let me know that one of the other ladies at our office was asked not to invite my wife and I to her "couples" baby shower. And I quote "I don't wont those kind of people around".
For this to make sense, you have to know that a woman who I now fondly think of as "Witch" used to work for my company, found out about me, and was completely repelled by it. Witch told the same woman who shared the "I don't wont those kind of people around" comment with us more than a year ago. It now appears that she told more people.
So way cool! My wife loves me for 20 years and gives me two wonderful children. I repay her by repelling her family and ruining any chance she has to make normal friends at work.
When we were speaking about it at dinner tonight, and it was all I could do to keep from crying, she told me "I know it makes you happy and I don't wont ask you to stop, but it hasn't been good for me."
Wow, I feel pretty much like the lowest thing on the planet right now.

[AllieSF]

Kimberly,

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. I cannot say that I totally understand the level of pain that you are now going through because I have never been there nor done that. From your posts, I know that you are a solid person with a cool head on your shoulders, and from this post today, that your wife appears to be similar in makeup. I do wish both you the best as this issue goes through its various stages and hopefully early demise. Time heals, and sometimes what we think is an unbearable situation somehow evolves over time into life as usual with some modifications. Keep your chins up and from this end, I send you many hugs

[suzanne]

That scene is as ugly as anything I can imagine. Please be strong and know there are a lot of people rooting for you here. Keep everyone posted. I am praying for some good to come of this. Good luck.

[JenniferR771]

I think you are an amazing person. Very thoughtful husband and wonderful father, too. Hang in there. This is a bump in the road. Crossdressers have to live with the possibility of prejudice and misunderstanding. By now a lot of people may know, and 99 percent will still respect you--no change at all. The people who count will be there for you.

Hugs,
Jennifer

[Veronica 1]

Hang in there hon. Just remember the saying, by who I don't know, "Say what you will and be who you are, those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind."

[Susan.]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Hopefully, you'll have plenty of real friends around when this is all said and done.

I see how bad the people are around Austin, I can't imagine what they are like in my area of Texas. Personally, I don't take any chances. When my son comes home everything, except what could easily be my wife's, is put up. When we have people over, the stuff is put up. When it is put up in the attic it is marked ebay or something just in case.

Good luck.

[Sally2005]

I'm sad to hear about the pain you are having. All you can do is try to take something poistive away from it (and maybe do some damage control). You now know more about who you can and can not trust. That can be valuable to you and your wife in the future when you have to deal with these people again.

You didn't ask to be who you are, so don't feel sorry for it. You and your wife both know of a lot more positive experiences. Try to remember those.

[Holly]

OMG, Kim! Those kind of people? Just who does she think she is!? Kim, you must get the notion out of your head that YOU hurt your wife. Nothing could be farther from the truth. A narrow-minded, judgmental, dimwit hurt your wife. You wife sound like a tremendous woman. But as Aluchi has said, what appears as tragedy often is what strengthens. The two of you draw on your shared passion for life. You have my number... call me if you want to talk.

[Zee]

As I recently posted, we found out Thanksgiving day that my Mother in law apparently knows about me and has been kind enough to share that with at least some of my wife's family. (Thanks Mom, love ya'! Really! Mean it!) [SIZE="1"]hag[/SIZE]

Well today it got even better. My wife works at the same company I do so when I'm in town, we drive to work and back together. Today she let me know that one of the other ladies at our office was asked not to invite my wife and I to her "couples" baby shower. And I quote "I don't wont those kind of people around".
For this to make sense, you have to know that a woman who I now fondly think of as "Witch" used to work for my company, found out about me, and was completely repelled by it. Witch told the same woman who shared the "I don't wont those kind of people around" comment with us more than a year ago. It now appears that she told more people.
So way cool! My wife loves me for 20 years and gives me two wonderful children. I repay her by repelling her family and ruining any chance she has to make normal friends at work.
When we were speaking about it at dinner tonight, and it was all I could do to keep from crying, she told me "I know it makes you happy and I don't wont ask you to stop, but it hasn't been good for me."
Wow, I feel pretty much like the lowest thing on the planet right now.

We understand. Things will work themselves out (somehow they always do), but that doesn't alleviate the pain you are feeling right now. At least you can talk with your wife about this. I hope that she can be as understanding and empathetic as I am sure you are. Just know that we are here for you and support you and your wife in all that you do.

Luv's
Z

[goofus]

OMG, Kim! Those kind of people? Just who does she think she is!? Kim, you must get the notion out of your head that YOU hurt your wife. Nothing could be farther from the truth. A narrow-minded, judgmental, dimwit hurt your wife. You wife sound like a tremendous woman. But as Aluchi has said, what appears as tragedy often is what strengthens. The two of you draw on your shared passion for life. You have my number... call me if you want to talk.

I agree! This woman is a narrow-minded judgmental dimwit! Your wife should ask herself if she really wants to be friends with this person...

Sorry to hear about your situation. Hopefully, you'll have plenty of real friends around when this is all said and done.

I see how bad the people are around Austin, I can't imagine what they are like in my area of Texas. Personally, I don't take any chances. When my son comes home everything, except what could easily be my wife's, is put up. When we have people over, the stuff is put up. When it is put up in the attic it is marked ebay or something just in case.

Good luck.

Wow, and Austin is supposed to be the hippest place in Texas. Makes me glad I'm a northerner, although believe me we still have plenty of ignoramuses around here...

[alyssalove56]

I feel unqualified to respond, but, I think there are some experiences like yours lurking in my future.
I pray for you. We are all just being..............
God bless the child.

[Melinda G]

I can understand you feeling bad for your wife. But I wouldn't lose too much sleep over not being invited to a "couples" baby shower.

[sterling12]

Can't say anything to make all of this go away. How I wish I could! For you, and everybody else who has faced this kind of mess. You have my deepest sympathy's.

The only good I can see in it, is that you and your wife are now going to find out who your true friends are. Wish I could tell you that you could do damage control and minimize this situation, but I can't. Why she would want to alienate her daughter, I can't even imagine. I really hope it does not effect your job status.

WHY, do we have to keep going through this stuff? Whatever your gender status, it should not have anything to do with your character, and your worth as a human being. To be ostracized, to be publicly ridiculed and pilloried, to have it effect your wife and children....just wrong! Just don't know why the hell people can't leave us alone.

Peace and Love, Joanie

PS. And I'm also sorry about your mess Kris. Maybe the moon is in The 8th House, maybe Jupiter isn't aligned with Mars. We sure have had a lot of bad news lately.

[CDTiffany]

Kimberly, I am so Sorry. That stinks big time.
Wow, I dont know what to even say. Some people need lots of therapy, And it aint us!!!!!!!!!
I really hope you and your family overcome this, Tuff road darling. but I think if anybody can rise up and make this turn out for the better it is you. If you want to talk some time, Let me know. I think the world of you. And I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.
Take care sweet heart!!!!!!!!!!
I love Ya!
your friend Tiffany

[marny]

This might sound simplistic, and I apologize for suggesting it, but you are out! You can't turn back. They have made their decision. It's your move hon! I know you don't want to hurt anyone . You don't have to flaunt it but maybe you can relax and enjoy it. your immediate familly accepts you. The rest can go fly!

[Kelsy]

[SIZE="3"]Kimberly,

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. Don't let low lives steal your dignity!!
The worst part of all of this is the subtle attack on your wife and the sleasy attempt to drive a wedge between the two of you. I hope all will work out in the end.
I often have fears of how someone elses discovery of me would affect my wife. She is completely accepting but add the dimention of interfering unfeeling people, people who would question her and exclude her because of me then what is a peaceful, loving and fun life could be severly damaged!!

Hang in there sister , Love that family of yours and Hold on

Love Kelsy[/SIZE]

[GailTulane]

Kimberly, I wish that this had never happened to you, or that it would just go away.
Since neither is the case, and what is done is done, I am wondering if it might not be worthwhile to try to have a face-to-face talk with your wife's friend. You never know, if she is a reasonable person, perhaps you could dispel some misconceptions, remove some prejudice, make her aware of the pain that has been caused, and, maybe, even enlist her help.
I sincerely hope that the situation improves.
Warmly,
Gail

[trannie T]

Kim, please quit blaming yourself. It is not your fault that other people are idiots.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Hiya sis,

I wish I had something... anything that might help you feel better during this. This is actually one of those situations that I haven't encountered before in my reading, experiences shared by other CDers and my own life.

Keep communicating...

*much hugs*
Zara

[Lissa Stevens]

I can't even imagine what you are feeling. What you are going through, most of us fear terribly. Just know you have a lot of friends who are willing to listen. Take care of yourself and be strong, and think about the fact that maybe friends that act the way they did are not true friends. Maybe you don't need them.

[Denise Barrett]

Hi Kimberly,

Everytime I read what you have to say on this forum, it inspires me. This shouldn't happen to someone as nice and giving as you. As your wife said, "it hasn't been good for me", but, never having been married, isn't that what marriage is about; loving each other through everything, even the difficult times. Knowing her, through you, I believe that is exactly what will happen. And knowing you, through your words, you will show up each workday, head held high, giving respectability to us all. Thank you for that.

With all my love and respect for you both,
Denise

[Sandra]

My wife loves me for 20 years and gives me two wonderful children. I repay her by repelling her family and ruining any chance she has to make normal friends at work.

If they can't accept you and your wife then they are the kinda friends you both can do with out.

When we were speaking about it at dinner tonight, and it was all I could do to keep from crying, she told me "I know it makes you happy and I don't wont ask you to stop, but it hasn't been good for me."
Wow, I feel pretty much like the lowest thing on the planet right now

Don't feel so bad yes she will have been having a bad time with it but she's still there with you. Both of you should live you lives as you want to and sod the rest, if they really care about you will come round.

[Lucy Bright]

Kimberly, I was so sorry to read this. I can only repeat what the others have said, that there are positives (a strong and loving wife), and that you can't hold yourself responsible for other people's attitudes. If you'd been black, and your wife' coworker had said "I won't have those sort of people in the house" you wouldn't be feeling guilty about it, would you? You'd be angry! Well, how much more choice do you have about being CD than about your race? Whether it's nature or nurture I've no idea, but I'm pretty sure none of us volunteered for it.

Meanwhile, focus on the important things. You're there for your wife - and you know that we're here for you.

Kisses,

Lucy

[Amanda Shaft]

Dimwit is a good word; no it’s a great word! It’s a great big straight to the point word: dimwit, dimwit, dim-witted. You’re problem is that you care for your wife; their problem is that they are dimwits. You should be proud and pleased you care so much for someone; they are dimwits and should be dismissed as such. Don’t let others shortcomings and prejudiced impact on your relationship and deal with the outside world together, for there is strength in togetherness and love. You’re not wrong, they are. Stay strong.
Yours Amanda x

[Kate Simmons]

Kim, You are a good husband, father and provider. Your record speaks for itself and the only thing you are guilty of is loving your family and being yourself. I only wish there were more "pariahs" such as you in this world.