Does it ever go away?

[Jennifer Brooks]

Thank you all for your responses. I, like so many that "Dress" in the beginning, feel like we are the only ones that do "Dress". With new emotions come the same thinking's, but since I've been on this website I can feel more at ease about my feelings and such. Most of my questions at the beginning will seem sort of odd and redundant. Rookie questions is the wording. You all have answered in your own way and most, if not all, are pretty much how I've felt or am feeling about the future of my "Dressing". Thank you very much ladies, for making me feel good about myself and certain about the future.

[Ashley Williams]

No, no, no. If I am anything to go by, it can fade, but eventually it comes back.

I went ten years, with virtually no temptation to dress.

Today, I collected from the Post Office my first full outfit for 30 years (thank you Ebay) and the need is as strong, if not stronger, than ever.

I told my wife-to-be well into my purge period, and was devastated when it came back.

Now I have to move forward with the urge to dress as a woman - end of. Not what I would have chosen and not easy, but no alternative, it seems.

All the Best - and Merry Christmas!

Lesley

[KayHenderson]

It would appear that there ain't no pill you swallow, button you push or mantra you chant that does the job in one hit....but you can change in some measure if moved to do so.

Well-stated, but let's qualify that a bit.

In at least one case that I know of (me), a pill has done exactly that.

With a maintenance regimen of sublingual estrogen, supplemented with spironolactone, I've eliminated all traces of gender dysphoria. It's no exaggeration to say that I no longer need to dress.

I hasten to add, though, that I still find it fulfilling. In fact, I work as a woman a few hours a week. But the need is gone. There's no mental agitation - none.

[Elle1946]

Does it go away, is like asking if taxes go away. NO!!

[Patti Girl]

.....after spending time as Michelle I hate the feeling of normal male attire .Its a terrible and horrid feeling if I have to change back on the same day

On the other hand .....strange as it may seem , there have been times when the thought of transforming to Michelle has left me feeling almost disgusted - work that one out if you can ...giggle

Michelle,

My guess would be the tug of war between what you want and what you think you should be. I suspect that many of us have that conflict.

The board here does help. The more me find out that there are many like us, the easier and more acceptable it becomes.

Merry Christmas!

Patti

p.s. my wife gave me a beautiful pink sweater for Christmas

[Sinthia]

I hope not! I am so much happier when I can dress whenever I feel like it. Accepting that this is who I am and can put on a dress anytime is good therapy for me.

[JacquiUKTV]

Well-stated, but let's qualify that a bit.

In at least one case that I know of (me), a pill has done exactly that.

With a maintenance regimen of sublingual estrogen, supplemented with spironolactone, I've eliminated all traces of gender dysphoria. It's no exaggeration to say that I no longer need to dress.

I hasten to add, though, that I still find it fulfilling. In fact, I work as a woman a few hours a week. But the need is gone. There's no mental agitation - none.

I've done a little....just a little googling on spironolactone; I would assume it's the effect it has in reducing blood-pressure, maybe de-stressing... that's the salient point here?

If you're willing, I would be most interested to know more...e.g., whereas this regimen has altered your perception as regards dressing, has it impinged on you in other ways?

Jacqui.

[gingerli]

the urge to dress does go away--------30 minutes after you die!!!!!!

or so my formerly living ex informed me late one night.

[Samantha B L]

I've had the urge to dress ever since I was like little bitty. I can't even remember just what age. It could have been 6 or 7 years old. I've gone for long periods of time in my life where I tried to "forget" my urges to dress and I've found out that I can't do it! There have been influences in my life such as this forum or my wonderful GG freind who passed away 3 years ago that have convinced me that there is nothing more fun and exciting than dressing. I'm 51 years old and I've purged 5 times. I decided several years ago to never do a stupid thing like that again. I plan to spend the first several months of next year buying some wigs and some clothing items and stuff that I've wanted for a long time. I would dress everyday and wear practically nothing but female clothing if I had a way. Which I don't presently but who knows what the next 5 or 10 years holds. So I just don't think crossdressing goes away.

[body-fx]

It hasn't gone away for me, but I've toned it down quite a bit.

[Rachel Morley]

The desire of Crossdressing. Does it ever go away for those that don't dress full-time?

I gotta be honest, I haven't read every post in this thread ... I just skimmed ... but for me, I have a one word answer .... no!

I just know that for me personally, I can't stop (at least) thinking about it. If I don't dress ..... after a week or two I start to get depressed. It makes me feel unhappy and sad that I can't "feel feminine". I don't need to look feminine, I just need to feel feminine. I have to be girly (for a guy)

[Susan G]

I have purged once, realized how important this life style is, I am very Happy with the out-come of being a crossdresser! No Shame, NO regrets!

[rickie121x]

But on the other hand, this may be a case where "never" actually applies. Statistically, it is a pretty good bet that the desire will not dissolve and will be in your mental background until "then", whenever that is!

From age 7 to age 73, it has lived with me constantly, luckily never having caused any pain - well except when my first wife used the word crossdressing in her divorce complaint ... hehe, but the divorce turned out to be one of those "best" things that ever happened to me.

As so many have already said, live, laugh, love, crossdress and enjoy it all to the best of your ability....

Happy holidays, Rickie

[1950sclothes]

I'm 45 and it has never gone away. It is less stronger than it was but it's still there.

[LilSissyStevie]

If it did go away, I wouldn't be here to tell you about it. This is really the wrong place to ask.

[Mary Morgan]

I stopped for five years at age fifty. Today at 60, the desire is stronger and the need greater than at anytime in my life. Too bad I had to wait so long to appreciate and enjoy this wonderful gift. Of course, letting go of the fear and deception makes all the difference. I would encourage you to confront your own reality and make some decisions. As they say in the "mind business", past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. I am not a psychologist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night! Good luck.

[tiffanyanne_69]

Figured I might as well chime in here myself with a big fat NO.

Done the denial thing . . . done the purge thing . . . done the "hated myself thing" . . . doen the purge thing (oh, did I say that already?) . . . and finally accepted me for me.

I can't change who I am (although I've certainly prayed and wished for it a zillion times!), so the answer is No.

[KandisTX]

The long and short answer is "No, it doesn't go away". There may be times where you don't feel the need, or have the ability, time, privacy to dress, but the feeling, need, desire doesn't really ever go away entirely. It lingers there in your subconcious in hiding at times, but it is always there. We have all probably gone through the denial stage, the purging, the "I'm a freak" stage, and even the "Am I the only one who does this"? stage. The point I'm trying to make is that we must accept ourselves for who and what we are before we can expect anyone else to do the same.

Kandis

[Ann Smith]

... mentioned here on the site. I've been through one five-year span and a three-year span with no c-dressing. Right now I'm at the end of that 3-year spell. Basically zero urge the entire time. Then, about two months ago, for some reason the urges came back. I have been feeling them faintly some of the time, strongly on occasion, and other times not at all.

In answer to your question, I would venture to say there are definitely former crossdressers who stopped at some point and never went back ---- they're just not on this website. One reason (which you mentioned) would be age--- if you are a particularly vain crossdresser and you have to feel like you're achieving at least some measure of female attractiveness when you dress femme, the results are going to please you less and less as the body ages.

Another reason would be what other people here on the site have referred to as laziness. The motivation to bag out on keeping two wardrobes and to keep erasing or covering up telltale signs is huge in my case. If I can help it, I don't ever want to dress femme again for the simple reason of time and effort.

But I still want to hold on to some part of this "different-ness." I want to keep being a transgender person. I think there is something in the whole essence or aura that is of great value.

And I don't want to continue on as a non-dressing crossdresser who, consciously or unconsciously, harbors condescending feelings toward cd-ers who want to quit but can't do it. Like former smokers who make a big deal about saying tsk tsk to anyone who lights up.

[Patti Girl]

If it did go away, I wouldn't be here to tell you about it. This is really the wrong place to ask.

Precisely correct, IMO. Now where is that ex-crossdressers forum where the question should be asked? ;-)

Patti

[Jennifer Brooks]

Precisely correct, IMO. Now where is that ex-cross-dressers forum where the question should be asked? ;-)

Patti

Good answer. But thinking over that reply you have to remember one thing. Being a closet dresser for a number of years and not being in actual contact with fellow "Dressers" you tend to stock-pile questions and feelings about what you are doing. This question is one of them. With each individual reply written, it has given me a warm feeling that I am not alone if I have dipped off the CD radar screen for months or years. Most of the ladies that have contacted me personally are much older in years and very experienced with being a CD, thus they don't have to ask these questions. I do and will. If there is an "EX-CD" forum, I do not think I will be on it. When I do give it up cold turkey, I will be sure to let this board know one exists. I thank you for everybody's replies thus far. It has enlightened me thoroughly. Hugs and Kisses...........

[Patti Girl]

When I do give it up cold turkey, I will be sure to let this board know one exists. I thank you for everybody's replies thus far. It has enlightened me thoroughly. Hugs and Kisses...........

Gen,

You are right, this board certainly helps us to find a broad perspective and support for what we feel and what we need. Instead of feeling weird and alone, we know that we have lots of company.

But just because someone goes "cold turkey" doesn't mean that it ends or that they won't be back in 3 months or 3 years. If it ever does "end", we need reports back from people who have quit ten or twenty years ago

Currently, I am faced with a challenge. I'm thinking of joining the local volunteer fire dept (I have past experience and I understand the local outfit needs help). I'm not sure if I can fit that into my crossdressing needs...or can I give up the crossdressing (I doubt it).

hugs,

Patti

[Blonde]

IMO I think the only time it wil go away for good is when you're laying in the ground with a stone over your head. (or in an urn over the mantle place)

[Amy07]

I don't think the need can go away. I dressed, purged, collected again, purged, so on and so on. I stop and start, but will not toss it all out again. I stopped once for three years in the late 90's, then got broadband internet, and so it goes. Darn internet. I live single now, but folks here have great advice on telling you SO. Be happy, Jennifer!

[PeggySue]

I would live full time en femme if not for my family obligations. If for some reason I found myself not married anylonger I would go full time the first day.

As Sandra Michelle has said, it is only marriage and mother that keeps me from being en femme full time. Work would also keep me in drab. If not for those two things, look out world, here comes PeggySue!!!