A unique problem

[Stephanie Scott]

Shannon,

This is an interesting one! I have these thoughts (in the "For whatever it's worth" category):

1. It is your friend's band (I assume), so he is the decision-maker. I think you have an obligation to tell him (if your dressing goes beyond the confines of your own house). That way, he gets to make the decision about the conditions, if any, he wants on you to remain in the band. Perhaps something can be worked out that satisfies both of you? Perhaps your dressing can be incorporated into the band's image? Or maybe because it's the country music industry, he might ask you to choose? If you want it badly enough, you'll stop dressing while a part of the band -- dressing up, after all, IS a behavior we can control. Or maybe he'll ask you to limit your dressing to private occasions?

2. If there is any industry where I would think you wouldn't have to worry so much, it would be the music/entertainment industry. Obviously, the fact that it's county music complicates it somewhat, but then, maybe this would be a unique niche for the band -- especially if your dressing were incorporated in a "conservative" manner, rather than a wild, flashy "over-the-top" manner that the bands of yore used to do it? What fun would that be for you? And what a boon to crossdressers for folks to see a "regular" guy out there unafraid to dress up and acting "normal." In other words, you could just be like any other number of conservative-looking girls who play country music -- except you're a guy!

Just food for thought. Good luck!

Stephanie

[BethCD]

Shannon, How often do you dress? Would you feel comfortable going long stretches NOT dressing??
Maybe it could be part of the act, if not...
There are lots of TG bands out there, like All the Pretty Horses, Girlfriendz, see http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thecrossdressingmusician/

Good luck, please let us know what happens, we're pulling for you !

Beth

[Samantha B L]

Shannon, Go for it. An opportunity like that won't come again. The crossdressing hadn't ought to be a big problem. If it's a concern,I don't think your freind with the production deal will be uptight about it. He's known you for a long time. Of course he may have ideas about everything from each player's stage stance to certain clothing items he wants you to wear and maybe this won't include en fem. But you've got all your spare time to dress however you like. If this band turns out to be more aggravating than satisfying you can split later on but as you probably don't need to be reminded,give your freind and the people in the band a few weeks notice

[Shannon CD]

Thank you all for your input. I know this is early in the game, but I want to be prepared. I'm hoping that as long as my friend is the focus, I can enjoy all of this in relative anonymity.

I do seem to have less of an urge to dress over the last year that I have been playing in this band, so who knows...maybe it will never become an issue. Either way, I have a lot to mull over.

Shannon

[Julogden]

Don't sweat it, go for it. Everything will be OK.

Carol

[Kieroney]

Well there was Motley Crue, Twisted Sister, and the list can go on, who cares, it will add to the sales. I say go for it, that's what makes bands great, something with a twist to it.

[Dizzy-Chan]

Don't worry about it too much. I've played a couple of shows in drag, one in front of a good majority of my high school peers, and only got compliments (and, well, a couple of death threats, but it's tennessee, what are you gonna do.)

Also, here is a bunch of pictures of Mana from a japanese band called malice mizer.

http://www.freewebs.com/ivorypaperdoll/3ManainMM.htm

Yes, that is a dude.

[Mixie]

And don't forget about Bill Kaulitz. He's in a german band, can't remember the name, just the face.

[Dizzy-Chan]

And don't forget about Bill Kaulitz. He's in a german band, can't remember the name, just the face.

I hate Tokio Hotel but oh my GOD bill is such a hottie.

[Suzie S.]

Shannon, follow your dream! This opportunity may not arise again! I wish you the best of success!

[Mercedes]

Considering what some of the current celebrity Musicians (term used loosely) are doing (from DUI, rehab, fistfights, not even mentioning parenting skills) I don't think a guy in a dress could get a headline!!

Mercedes XOXOXO

[StayceeCD]

Everybody knows that musicians are all weirdos and drug addicts. So being a crossdresser should be no big deal.
Seriously if you do get outed I doubt it would be a big issue, assuming you're not playing some kind of christian music.

Well, I personally take offense to that comment! I'm a professional musician who has spent countless hours honing the craft! When all my friends were out drinking and smoking in the 70's, where was I? PRACTICING in my basement! Just step back and look at what you wrote and realize that this is the exact same mentality people have towards crossdressers. Just substitute weirdos and drug addicts for weirdos and gays! Well I guess I'm double screwed cause I'm both a musician and a crossdresser! Wow.. How is it that I'm in my 40's and still playing for a living, own a house, own several cars, have kids, everything that "non weirdos' do.. Oh.. It must be all the DRUGS I take!! Wake up!! The 60's were 40 years ago!! Musicians don't do drugs anymore! There are too many talented people out there that would love my job! It's just like any other business. Only more heartbreaking! :mad:

[Melissa A.]

Well, I personally take offense to that comment! I'm a professional musician who has spent countless hours honing the craft! When all my friends were out drinking and smoking in the 70's, where was I? PRACTICING in my basement! Just step back and look at what you wrote and realize that this is the exact same mentality people have towards crossdressers. Just substitute weirdos and drug addicts for weirdos and gays! Well I guess I'm double screwed cause I'm both a musician and a crossdresser! Wow.. How is it that I'm in my 40's and still playing for a living, own a house, own several cars, have kids, everything that "non weirdos' do.. Oh.. It must be all the DRUGS I take!! Wake up!! The 60's were 40 years ago!! Musicians don't do drugs anymore! There are too many talented people out there that would love my job! It's just like any other business. Only more heartbreaking! :mad:

Very good Staycee. You definitely needed to respond there. Well done.

Hugs,

Melissa

[Melissa A.]

Shannon, Unless you think your band will make it to the ultra-top tier of famedom. I don't think it will hurt your friend, or the band, if you are outed. (your own personal life is another story, but that's your choice). There are so many bands out there, and we know the details of the personal lives of maybe 1%, if that. I really wouldn't worry about it. Now if you plan to dress on the road, you may want to tell your partner, if he really is a good friend, for obvious reasons.

Hugs,

Melissa

[Carly D.]

If you two are friends then ask him what he thinks of crossdressers.. and go from there..

[StayceeCD]

I wouldn't worry about it at all... Take it as an amazing opportunity to dress in your hotel room, and maybe go out to some TG clubs in whatever city you're touring in! Just make sure to check your "girly things" on flights this way you won't get outed by a TSA agent looking through your things!