Hello all, you guys are great, what a support group. I must say that most of the posts here are from far more advanced CDs than I think I'll ever be.
It all started when I wore my mother's bathrobe when I had no clean clothes, very young. Then later I tried on Pantyhose and was hooked. I think my parents found a discarded pair and took away my collection that I had been using for "art projects."
Later once I got married, I had access to women's clothing again and after a few years of marriage admitted it to my wife. She was completly supportive and just warned me not to stretch out anything of hers. After the pregnancy I was in bliss, now she had all this plus size stuff that fit me great to try on, and I could dress in full costume. I've only tried make-up twice. Once, I even got up the nerve to put on some hose when i was with my wife, it was awesome!
Well, now I'm at a crossroads. (pun intended) I feel it's a little like a drug. I still love dressing, but I want more. I'm tried of just her clothes to pick from. She has willingly bought me my own pair of panty-hose, which is great, but I would like to take it to the next level.
I don't want to go out in public, that's a crazy fantasy at this point. Sure, you might say I'm in the closet, but, I like it there, or in the bedroom, but mostly I just want it to be a private thing. I would be mortified if anyone other than my wife knew.
But, I wonder about shaving, I would love to shave my legs and chest, and I brought up getting some shoes, but my wife said, "Let's not go there." jokingly. I don't think she knew if I was being serious or not.
Sure I'd love to have a wardrobe and a wig and get all shaved and made-up, but it's so much more than what I do know. even though she knows, I think if I took it to that level, it would bother her, and I'm afraid to ask.
Lastly, from what I've read this starts out as a mostly sexual thing, and then turns into a hobby, or a stress reducing activity in most CDs. Right now I'm mostly at the sexual phase. I get turned on, then I change when I'm done, and that's it. But sometimes. . .I stay dressed for a long period of time and the arousal goes away, and I feel comfortable, relaxed, but then I eventually do what I started out to do and change back.
Whew, this is all so personal, I can't believe I got all this out, but hey that's the wonder of anonymity online right?
One more thing, as I'm straight, (duh) like most, or all of us, it sure is weird seeing others dressed up. I mean if you pull it off I'm amazed, but other times, again as a straight guy, and I mean no offense, it's creepy looking at a guy dressed, especially when i can tell. It's a wonder I even enjoy looking at myself in a mirror dressed. I've also read that crossdressing can stem from a desire to have complete control of a woman, but not in a sick or demeaning way. I relate to that though. I feel like if my wife wanted to have sex as often as I did, and dress up in lingere and ****ty clothes all the time in the bedroom, than my desire to CD would go away. I just thought I'd put that last thought out there. I often wonder about that. Well, if anyone reads this, thanks for listening.
I don't have a femme name