Men's Bathroom ettique...

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

One of my transguy friends sent me this video:



Anyone seen it? Any thoughts boys? Any GMs want to verify/dispute this?

[Kieron Andrew]

This is a good one Tobias, one posted a long time ago...well worth revising....oh and GMs i know say its right

[Maggie Kay]

Well, I am not really a male but I have been playing the part for most of my life and this video is spot on. They left out the excruciating situation when there is a line for the urinal. Just try to "let it go" when there is a line of surly men behind you wanting you to hurry. The pressure can make it impossible to do what you came in there for! The correct course of action when one is taking too long is: Pretend to have done it and leave, hoping to return later...

[Charleen]

It was spot on. The end situation actually occured in a town in Montana. They were able to contain it, mostly by the quick responce of getting portable toilets into the town within hours. Of course the whole thing was hushed up.

[Mariah]

there is a wonderful rebuttle to this called "woman Bathroom Ettique" a long time ago. :P

keris

[Crissy Kay]

LOL!!! Thats spot on!!!! You violate those rules at your own risk!!!

[Emily Ann Brown]

Funny, nowhere is it mentioned what to do if a lady taps you on the shoulder while you are shaking the Bishop's hand at a urinal and asks if this is the ladies room.....happened to me before, HONEST! What did I do???? BLUSH.

Was on a layover in Dallas at the airport with a coworker once and we entered an empty restroom. Some jerk came in and pulled up alongside my buddy and tried to strike up a conversation about some movie he saw the night before....was all I could do to keep the coworker from smashing him into the wall. What a moron.

Yep...VERY WISE ADVICE (and never point and giggle).

Emily Ann

[Nicole Erin]

These rules are very true and very important.

They went over the urinal spacing rule but more important -
You are there to take care of business, not to talk.

These rules are instictive to men. We are never "told" we just know. We are born knowing these rules.

SOMEtimes we do break them if we are in a familiar enough place, like work.
In fact, I was guilty today - One of my friends was in the stall, I was headed out and said - "Well I am going to go see if those [work related jargon]" and he said - "Don't talk, it makes it crawl back in!"

[Genifer Teal]

Well, I am not really a male but I have been playing the part for most of my life and this video is spot on. They left out the excruciating situation when there is a line for the urinal. Just try to "let it go" when there is a line of surly men behind you wanting you to hurry. The pressure can make it impossible to do what you came in there for! The correct course of action when one is taking too long is: Pretend to have done it and leave, hoping to return later...

This is called "nervous bladder syndrome". You've been handling this siutation correctly. Don't forget to flush. BTDT

Thanks for a great laugh. I had not seen this one before.

Gen

[Taylor105]

Dang it!! I can't get the video to work past the part where he says "dropping the kids off at the pool" which is hilarious!! My dad always says that when he has to take a dump. haha

[Sally24]

The only part I disagree with is the unrinal spacing. If you have to go, take an adjacent urinal. It's not prefered but with no alternative but to wait, you go.

In Navy boot camp, 100 guys had about 5 minutes to use the head and get back in formation. If you want pressure, try peeing when you have 20 other guys behind you trying to use one of two available urinals!!

The video was well done, if you get by the video game graphics.

[Fab Karen]

Didn't see the video but the comments make clear the subject. Personally in boy-mode in public rr's, I tend to use a stall as often the psychological distraction of others can put things on hold.
Oh, and most people should be aware by now that a "wide stance" when using a stall is not a good idea ( unless you're a senator looking for friends )

[Joanne f]

Well the first half is about right as males like to be as privet as possible but i do not know about the second half as i would think that could apply more to inner cities which i have no experience with .



joanne

[AmandaM]

View it, know it, love it.

And you will have taken the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper!

Seriously, if you talk to another guy or stand next to one in the bathroom, you're a faggot (or a potential one).

[Fab Karen]

Seriously, if you talk to another guy or stand next to one in the bathroom, you're a faggot (or a potential one).

Put quotes around that word so we know it isn't how YOU think.

[charllote34]

HA HA this is so funny , basically when you go in the loo you do what you need to do and leave as quick as possible !!

[Nicki B]

Sadly, I can't get it to run - neither can I attach an .exe I have - see if this works???

It does depend on relative size, who 'threatens' who, who stands nearest to the door, etc - all about the male pecking order...

[ZenFrost]

I saw this when it was posted a long time ago, but it's still funny.

[Angela Burke]

The following appeared in the “Locker Room” column by Matt Rudd in the Sunday Times Scotland on the 30/12/2007. Yes it does sometimes take me a week to read it. It’s a real heavyweight in all respects. I’ve often thought why an enterprising thriller writer hasn’t used it as a murder weapon in some lurid novel. Maybe they have?


Toilet Training

Someone engaged me in conversation at a urinal the other day, which I found most inappropriate. So, today, we are going to have a brief refresher course on toilet etiquette before all semblance of order goes down the plughole. Let’s start with the urinal.
First, the basics. Never go in packs. You are not a girl. Position is important. If you arrive at an empty urinal, stand at the far left or the far right, but never in the middle. This enables the next man to take the opposite extreme. If a third man arrives, he can take the middle slot, but it would be preferable if he abandoned the urinal altogether and went into a cubicle. Regardless of good intent, you should never hang around waiting for an ideal position – it may be mistaken for perving.
Once installed, keep your eyes dead ahead at all times, even in the event of a fire alarm. If you find yourself at the urinal at the same time as a friend or colleague, a rhetorical “All right?” will suffice. “How’s the new kitchen coming along?” is too much. If you have eaten asparagus or taken Berocca, and you find yourself urinating upriver of someone else, a simple “Sorry, asparagus/Berroca” is polite. Other than that, there should be absolutely no talking. As for drying off, three shakes is diligence. Four is masturbation.
And so on how to navigate the cubicle. Unless you are on final call an airport, or two minutes away from sitting a three - hour exam, never take a cubicle next to one that is already occupied. Come back another time.
Never make a toilet – paper seat cover. If the fact that it is girlie isn’t enough to dissuade you, consider the following findings from the University of Arizona: the average toilet seat has a mere 49 microbes of bacteria per square inch, whereas your desk has 20,691 per square inch. Which means eating your sandwich off the toilet seat is 400 times more hygienic than eating it at your desk and your bottom will survive.
Always leave the toilet bowl as you would like to find it, by which I mean wait to check it doesn’t need a double flush. As with the urinals communication is a no – no, even if the toilet paper has run out. Girls may warn each other, “Don’t go in there, I just used the last paper” – but with men, it is simply the next user’s misfortune.
Try to time your exit for when the rest of the washroom is empty. On no account emerge proudly, passing comment to all and sundry on how pleased you are with what just went on behind the closed door.
Oh, and lest you should be tempted to forget, always wash your hands.

[AmandaM]

Put quotes around that word so we know it isn't how YOU think.

Oops, sorry! I meant manly-men-society thinks you are one.

[Wendi {LI NY}]

Gee. If I had this vidio before ,I wouldn't get in trouble in the bathroom! If I had to go I didn't jockey for position at the urnials.but things may have change? hugs ,Wendi

[xsideburnsx]

HAHA! I don't know if that's exactly true about what goes down in bathrooms. I've never experienced that sort of stuff before.

[Cathii]

I will dispute the no talking rule, at least in Australia that is.... There are some circumstance in which talking is totally acceptable.

1) Just before oral evacuation of alcohol (meeting your friends Hughey, Chuck and Ralph, otherwise known as talking to God on the porcelain telephone) and just after, it is acceptable to utter, though not to anyone in particular, a chosen deities name followed by a brief warning for those squeamish in the vicinity. ie "Oh God, I think I am going to hurl"... Or... "Oh God, I can't believe I just wasted all that alcohol by barfing"..... If you aren't religious it is acceptable to replace the deities name with some form of profanity. ie "Oh F*** I just baked a floor pizza".....

2) Any unintelligible word said to a friend is acceptable... ie grunting in recognition and giving the 'nod'. No further conversation is acceptable.

Beyond this I think it is pretty much spot on especially for the Australian version of the 'piss house', 'out house', 'smallest room' or even the Aussie favourite, 'The Thunderbox'

btw Sh*thouse is not an acceptable name for public facilities in Australia cause that is what you call a crap footballer or umpire........

Cathii

[Taylor105]

I just baked a floor pizza! lolol That's a new one on me. haha

[Felix]

Lol always use the cubicles and I never give eye contact straight in and straight out wash hands quick lol xx Felix