Are you attracted to men while cd?

[Xandra]

That’s something of a grey area for me and one that seems to move one way and then the other. In everyday mode (male) my attraction to men doesn’t register on the scale; as a CD I have fantasized about being with a (feminine) man. But here’s the crux of the matter: I would rather be intimate with a cross dresser, whether I am dressed or not.

I don’t care to be put in a box because the lid always seem to work its way loose, but at the end of the day, I think I’m probably bi with a stronger attraction to femininity. And my box has no lid. Phew!

Alex

[Melissa A.]

I am very confused by this. I wear a type of clothing for work, because I want to create a particular impression. I pay less attention to what I wear casually because I am less concerned about that.

However, dressing en-femme is entirely for me. If I couldn't share it with my wife, there is no way in the world I would want to share it intimately with a man.

I am still the same person, expressing a different part of myself, sure - but my sexual inclination doesn't change because I have women's clothes on.

I have had friendships with men that were as deep as some I have had with women - sharing feelings and exploring perspectives in a way that is far from the everyday - but would never be physically attracted to them because I was wearing a slip or a dress.

I don't want two personalities - I want one, even if it means being rather more complex than many people, including myself, find easy to handle.

The only fantasy I find that my cross-dressing invokes is of being more submissive - as I take the initiative in sex most of the time. That fantasy is only focussed on my wife, however, and as she does not want to be involved at any level with my dressing, it is a fantasy that will likely never be fulfilled.

All the Best

Lesley

I don't know what to tell you, Lesley. As I explained(among other things) in my complete post, I don't know why it's so. I don't think that it's a case of having two personalities. (for the record, I don't think anyone wants more than one, myself included). My sexual inclination has changed, or evolved, but only when dressed, thus far. But like you, I am still the same person. And like you, expressing a different part of myself. Just sometimes in a different way than you would, or can. That makes sense, since we are two different people. You also should know that I had a wife, and she did not want to share dressing with me, but like you, I did not share it with a man or anyone else, at that time. I certainly didn't mean to confuse you. but you do not have to worry about being confused by it. I do. That you took the time to put the word "man" in italics is telling. None of us who feel this way is asking anyone to be like us. Just maybe try to understand. And see that we're all very different, and that can be a good thing.

Hugs,

Melissa

[Ashley Williams]

[QUOTE=Melissa A.;1153971 You also should know that I had a wife, and she did not want to share dressing with me, but like you, I did not share it with a man or anyone else, at that time. I certainly didn't mean to confuse you. but you do not have to worry about being confused by it. I do.

Hugs,

Melissa[/QUOTE]

I suppose, ultimately, I was shocked that you and so many of the people contributing to this thread do feel so differently when dressed - and at some level that threatens what I have been trying to achieve - a complete picture of myself with all its component parts that is still contained within my current life framework.

I have made efforts to comfort my wife by addressing her chief fear - that if I broaden my contacts while dressed - ie through a support group - that it would effectively risk taking me out of the marriage.

From everything I had read before this thread I got the impression that I was safe in claiming that the vast majority of cross-dressers are heterosexual.

A huge issue for us has been why, for the first eight years of our marriage I was in purge - but have struggled hugely and ultimately unsuccesfully to suppress the need when it returned.

In my defence I have said that, again from my research I have found that it is not usual, but neither is it so rare to be in purge for so long. I have been especially keen to go to a support group because I thought it would give me a structure within which to express myself more fully - but without taking undue risks regarding what temptations I might find there.

I am not sure this is making sense any more but thanks for clarifying your position.

All the Best

Lesley

[MsToriJones]

I will share my thoughts as a GG:

I know many who are straight, gay, bi, cd, ts, tv, post-op and pre-op - and we talk. Talking helps me with my understanding, understanding helps me with my unconditional acceptance of all people regardless

if you say "I am straight but when I am dressed I am attracted to men, but ONLY when dressed enfemme" Could it be that it is not so much a "sexual" attraction as it is an "acceptance" attraction? you are attracted to men because WOMEN are attracted to men and enfemme you ARE woman so you would be attracted. To have a man "want" you and "accept" you when you are enfemme means that you are seen as a woman and many CDs want to be seen as woman when they are dressed.

*names changed to protect identities*
I met someone named "Carl". genetic male, married, child. Carl later announce to the wife that he also likes men so he and wife get a divorce. Carl then realizes that he LIKES men 90% and women only 10% Carl also realizes that he FEELS like a woman and wants to BE a woman. So Carl startes dressing enfemme 100% of the time (I believe he was CD before). Carl then does horomone therapy to start the transition he wants and announces that Carl is now Carla. After a couple years Carla has the surgery to be 100% fem (still having relations with men). Post-op Carla tells me that she is now lesbian and desires women 90% of the time. In this instance I believe that the being was wired to have feelings for the same gender no matter what that gender is.

For me it is simple, I am woman with no desire to be different that than and I LOVE men...the touch, feel, smell, reaction I can get, etc. but many of you I think are like me, you LOVE that reaction you can get. you want to turn heads when you are woman, you want to be treated like the lady you become, to me .... that is "normal"

Now note I have tried to say "many", "most", "some" etc as I know each is different. Some ARE bi, some gay, some like to dress in fem clothes but don't care to be passable or accepted. so if something I said doesn't relate to how you are, then I am not talking about people who think and feel as you do.

each is their own way, no right, no wrong, you just are

[Sammy_34DD]

Yes...I think its true-to some degree...that you feel it stronger when as a girl...at least I do...but I still like girls one on one as well.

[Linda C]

Nope I am raging for girls even more!!!

[MJ]

QUOTE :- ms Jones :-each is their own way, no right, no wrong, you just are

if i may be honest for me I'm just not sure but i can't rule that out.. if the right guy came along well who knows , but if the right woman came along again who knows .

[janetcd2]

I must admit I have very strong fantasies about other CD’s but have never acted on them

[girlyj]

It has little to do with wheher I'm dressed or not. I find attractive women and men, well, attractive.

[nancyjtv]

Dressed or not I've not been attracted to a man sexually. However the though, as others have had, about being on a date and treated like a lady is a fantasy.

Nancy

[Deidra Cowen]

Yes I am attracted to Men...have experience both in boy mode and Tgirl mode with guys. The problem for Cds/Tgirls is there are so few decent guys interested in us. Most just want a quickie...I have only had one guy actually take me out on real dates.

So...I basically I guess am asexual these days, since my last sexual encounter was like two months ago.

[veronica]

well i'm in denile. i say no way but fantasize about a woman dressing me up and then making me service a man or better yet me and a t/s

[SIZE="4"]WOW:GE:

let's all get pretty[/SIZE]

[tanya3]

i would have to say yes . i am bisexual and have been with a man once and i would like to do it again . i have a very open minded wife who allows me to dress and she told me as long as if i was safe i can be with a man again . i don't think dresssing has anything to do with the way i feel.

[melissacd]

I suppose, ultimately, I was shocked that you and so many of the people contributing to this thread do feel so differently when dressed - and at some level that threatens what I have been trying to achieve - a complete picture of myself with all its component parts that is still contained within my current life framework.

I have made efforts to comfort my wife by addressing her chief fear - that if I broaden my contacts while dressed - ie through a support group - that it would effectively risk taking me out of the marriage.

From everything I had read before this thread I got the impression that I was safe in claiming that the vast majority of cross-dressers are heterosexual.

A huge issue for us has been why, for the first eight years of our marriage I was in purge - but have struggled hugely and ultimately unsuccesfully to suppress the need when it returned.

In my defence I have said that, again from my research I have found that it is not usual, but neither is it so rare to be in purge for so long. I have been especially keen to go to a support group because I thought it would give me a structure within which to express myself more fully - but without taking undue risks regarding what temptations I might find there.

I am not sure this is making sense any more but thanks for clarifying your position.

All the Best

Lesley

Lesley,

This journey is different for all of us. If you love your wife and your wife loves you, if your marriage is solid and you are committed to her and she to you, if she is open minded enough to accept that this is a part of who you are and if you can work together to set, manage and evolve limits that you can both live with then it can and will work and be fine. Yes there are many who have tried many things, there are many whose relationships have fallen apart because of this - there are equally many who have worked through this with their partners, who have strong enough relationships to weather this, survive and thrive. If you and your wife believe that you can find a way and work through this together I am confident that you can find a way to make it work. If there is a willingness to succeed on both sides, you will. The failures are where he marriage/relationship was not strong in the first place, cross dressing was just another nail in a failing relationship.

[AmandaM]

I will share my thoughts as a GG:
if you say "I am straight but when I am dressed I am attracted to men, but ONLY when dressed enfemme" Could it be that it is not so much a "sexual" attraction as it is an "acceptance" attraction? you are attracted to men because WOMEN are attracted to men and enfemme you ARE woman so you would be attracted. To have a man "want" you and "accept" you when you are enfemme means that you are seen as a woman and many CDs want to be seen as woman when they are dressed.

I think you are right about the acceptance as a woman part, but I think it is more than acceptance. I think it is something internal to their psychological make up. Something like they "become women" so they react as women biologically. I've tried it with a man both enhomme and enfemme. As a man, I didn't like it, too weird, and I didn't like the male body, hair, etc. and it became unpleasurable during the act. I felt like there was no passion on my part, bleh. As a woman, it was waaaayyy better, since I felt female I could get into it. Something inside me, not just acceptance as a woman, but an internal feeling that "I was a woman", at least at the time.

[Nicole Erin]

I often fantasize about being dressed and being with a guy. NOt any particular guy, just one I will invent inside my head. I have not been with a guy before. I don't know how good or bad it would actually be if it came true.
Thing is, I don't look at other guys and think they are hot.

I do have a particular attraction to some MTF CD's tho. It is kind of sexual, it is an attraction that is not like how I feel for women. My is that some CD's have a sexual power that women cannot compare to.

So there is my thoughts on guys...

Don't feel bad, folks, about your fantasies. Fantasy is normal, we all have them. Even if you have been with or find yourself with a man, just enjoy it. Don't worry about a stupid label. If you are with a guy or 2 it doesn't make you gay. Being gay is when you are exclusively with men or like them exclusively. Why beat yourself up over preference? Does it really matter, or do you really care?

[Samantha43]

Only real girls for me.

When I am dressed I feel feminine (at least what I think feminine feels like), but my sexual drive never changes.

[DawnRodgers]

My feelings are many and varied and have certainly changed over the years. At first it was solely a sexual thing and was mainly used for self satisfaction. As I got better at dressing and abtained more truly feminine outfits and paraphenalia, I went out and about and inmagined and fantasized about being a truly public gal. After a steady diet of magazines and books about CDing I started to fantasize about being intimate with men and amastirbating with thise inakes in my head. Finally, after many years, I was with a few men and it was better than I had imagined and extremely self satisfying. Now, I actually prefer being with a man, have no inclination to be with a woman and, evenb though I have yet to do thgis, I believe I could enjoy being with a man without CDing. After all of this time it seems, to me anyway, that my mind has become more femonine over time and I prefer and enjoy things that I didn't in the past.

[dianarg]

I'm surprised with the answers too, I thought most cd were attracted to the opposite sex.... wait... paradox
No seriously, I feel a lot better now, I'm not the only one that loves men while dressed

[Jane G]

I have to agree with most of the replies in this thread. Never once been attracted to a man whilst in drab, but when dressed I have been several times. I have no idea why this should occur, however it is something that has grown over the years, so there may be an element of conditioning in there. I'm happily married like many of us. If I wasn't who knows maybe I would act on these attactions. Part of dressing is reality and part is pure self indulgent fantasy I think the being with a man scenario will always remain a fantasy for me.

[shericd7]

Yes I am attracted to Men...have experience both in boy mode and Tgirl mode with guys. The problem for Cds/Tgirls is there are so few decent guys interested in us. Most just want a quickie...I have only had one guy actually take me out on real dates.

So...I basically I guess am asexual these days, since my last sexual encounter was like two months ago.

I was trting to find a way to express myself ,your post did it for me...I;m in the same boat as you..

[tanya3]

i have to say yes , but not just dressed . my only real attraction towards men is sexual .i don'twant a relationchip with a man beyond that.

[Andine]

Its only Gay if you push back!!

(Joke)

[shauna 9]

I had nevr had any attraction to men

[Joann0830]

I enjoy the male recognizing me as a female but thats it, I enjoy and miss the compnionship of the right understanding woman, who can accept me and still be a Lady. I guess that I too am a Lesbian of sort if you can call me that. Joann0830