You can't handle the truth

[KimberlyS]

Charlotte, while there is truth to your post you are generalizing a bit much. Yes some push the reality versus fantasy point on a line. And I am sure many here could use a wakeup call or slap upside the head. Yes some over encourage. But for the most part those here tell it like it is and in a nice way.

I know I am a guy and always will be. I know that I do not pass at 25 or more yards. But sometimes I am treated at a woman would be. Yes that makes me feel good but not my goal. I just want to be treated as a person. I also know society is more accepting than many many CD/TG's think it is. I have been told some of my out and about stories are fantasy and make believe. If they were I was sleep walking and sometimes with my wife.

For the most part things here and everywhere on the internet need to be taken with a bit of common sense. And I will not go into who has that and who doesn't. Everything here does not relate to everyone that is here. Only a very small part of what is on this site may relate to you directly. We are all very different in our likes, needs, wants and many other ways. Learn from this site but do not take every thing as the gospel truth. While some of the unbelievable and believable things may not be true, many are true both the believable ones and unbelievable ones.

Much of our reality is within our own heads.

kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

[staxscd]

while there are a few of us that have feminie traits and can "pass" and genuinely look good in a dress, the majority of us are and can admit that we are just guys in a dress and thats where we like to be and where we fit.
personally i do it to relax and unwind,
On the odd occasion where i go all out i do my best to look convincing, and i know im not maybe 60% at best.
The trouble with this board is that there are members who do thier best and are looking for encouragement and support which is fine, but to tell a member who is possibly looking for encouragement to venture out into the twisted world out there that they look great when really they are only 60% there is cruel in itself and could possibly do more damage than good.

just my two cents worth , and not looking to pick a fight.

remember support doesnt meen always being nice

[Tamara Croft]

I was being facitious. I knew it's name was some sort of desk accessory!
Love ya, mean it, Lily

I meant... no it's not the same person... although it sure could be

[Lisa Gerrie]

To the original poster...

I think you are completely missing the point. I've been lurking here for over a year and it seems to me that for most of us, passing isn't something we do, it's something we aspire to. For some mysterious reason, it's an internal goal.

For me personally the whole things is visual. When I look in the full-length mirror, the closer I am to "passing" -- the fewer flaws I see -- the happier I am. I have no idea why! It just is, and apparently it always will be. I never go out in public, but appearing female to myself makes me feel good.

Look, not one human soul on Earth can truly control what Turns Us On. We are animals, imprinted in our youths, and after puberty we really have no choice. It's visceral, it just happens. We either go with the flow, or resist and usually fail.

So similar souls gather in places like this board, and we encourage each other. We tell each other that we have nice legs, or whatever. What is it about that that upsets you?

[Tamara Croft]

Well I just went on a hunt looking for Charlottes pictures... and guess what.... THERE ARE NONE!!! So, how dare YOU CHARLOTTE, infact... why do you have a female name?? you're a man in a dress?? so wtf... the more I read this thread, the more you've seriously pissed me off... and even more so, because you don't even have the damn balls to come back online and see what you've done... only one more thing to say about you

nuff said!!!

[Celeste]

Whats so horribly wrong with someone giving their all, in an attempt to pass,even when they don't or never will.Why does this offend you so?Are you about ready to crack or something.Is this like "Falling down".Why are you here if you feel this way?Just who are you, that you feel the right to pass judgment on others irregardless of where they stand in the spectrum of passing.Maybe you should stick with taking candy from kids or something.

[Deborah Jane]

Are you the same Charlotte Church who posted a thread entitled Playboy Magazine on 1-12-2008 ?...Part of your opening statement said...Quote.."I am not here to judge but to learn"..Unquote..Whassup..You fancy yourself as a judge now then??
Grow up..Get a life and leave others to enjoy theirs!! If you can,t handle forums like this, why join??

[Marcie Sexton]

Charolette, what you say is true. sure the vast majority will/won't pass in public, however, for what ever reason we choose, we have chosen to fight the good fight...Strive to becomepublic presentable...

While I have never been called the brightest light on the tree, I also know for various reasons, I'll always have problems passing publicly, height being the biggest hurdle. BUT...it is always good to hear a good word spoken in your support. This not only goes for us trying to be the woman in us, but for any thing...It does feel good whenyou've given your best at work and the boss says "well done", or helping out at the house with the S.O.

So yea it may very well be true, and yes those of us who won't pass know it, but hey give it a break...

How does the saying go?

Throw the dog a bone...isn't it so much more fun to feel good about yourself knowing you've tried and it shows by your "friends" <?> acknowledging so...


Me too Debra Jane, me too...well said...

after all those that live in glass houses wouldn't dare throw rocks would they ?

[Emily Ann Brown]

Thank you Charlotte.....you accomplished something.....you got Anne Ahnimus to quit lurking and do her first post...and a very good one too Anne!


Emily Ann

[RobertaFermina]

Charlotte,


First of all EVERY ONE OF US should read the STICKY on "Safety". No matter how good we look, we are prey to the sicker element that lurks about out there!


You seem to be bringing a masculine perspective to a feminine issue.

"Do I look Fat ?"

If you are a man with an S.O. you know it is the third rail of spousal/partner relations.

The question is as much "Do you love me and want to be seen with me ?" or "Are we OK?" or "Are you still madly in love with me" as it is "Does my apparent girth exceed scientific BMI guidlines?".

So when someone asks "how do I look", they really have to give permission for a technical or unbiased-aesthetic response.

We are in relationship with each other and feelings DO matter !

Moreover, some girls are going out regardless, why send them forth with lowered self esteem, when looks are not important when it comes to forging relationships ?

And again, some girls are NEVER going out, so why leave them sequestered in their rooms feeling ugly and hopeless (from exaggerating simple unbiased responses) ?

Then there's the girls who ASK FOR IT, "tell me REALLY", just like when a partner asks me "REALLY", I have to assess if she really means it, before I take her at her word. So when I really think I have a bona-fide "Tell me Really" it is a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to give someone accurate feedback. I love it when I get that request !

Even then, it is humane to mix criticism with positive reinforcement of the possibility of improvement.

Then there's the girls who ask for feedback when (#!*&#37;%%%$$$-It!) they KNOW they look AWESOME! I HATE THEM...because I love them so much for setting an example of what we all might accomplish when we decide to go for it!

I know my answer is as clear as mud, and that is par for the course in human relations.

Have a Great Day, Charlotte !

Roberta


P.S. the answer to "Do I look Fat?" is....."Honey, I'm going to have to beat back the other men/(girls?) with a stick when I have a beauty like you on my arm !". Even if she thinks I'm lying, she knows she can depend on my devotion, affection, and protection *in addition* to her own self-confidence and charm.

[kerrianna]

Charlotte, what was your motivation for starting this thread in the first place?

Are you still so immature as to think you can change people by speaking your mind? Do you really think everybody in the world is so thick that they don't know what's going on and you are bound to open their eyes and show them the truth?

How's that been working for you in your life?


You seriously misjudged the people on this site and I think you owe them an apology.

By judging others you do not define them, you define yourself. And Charlotte, honey, you have quite sadly defined yourself by going ahead and starting this negative thread.

[Lisa Gerrie]

Thank you, Emily Ann.

[Sandra]

I agree honest opinoins should be given but you've just lumped everyone together, well I for one give an honest opinion, if I think that they would look better by trying something different then I will say so but it is only a suggestion.

As for ""We're NOT women" yes your right your not, accept for the TS's and I would imagine that those few words have upset a lot of them.

[KelliBennett]

Our hands, our feet and our shoulders are too big. Our faces are too square. We have no boobs, we have no arses, we have no hips and our knees are too knobby.

I guess I should talk to my small hands, small feet about how they don't fit on a woman's body.

Not to mention the ass and hips I do have. People are shocked to learn I am not padded down there.

Seriously I am not perfect, few people really are, but there are real girls who have a more manly shape then I do.

For whatever reason, hormone imbalance, extra chromozone. Some pass better then others. I once met a girl who had transitioned after puberty you would never know she wasn't a genetic girl. I was fooled.

Generalizations like this are why bigotry and discrimination exist. Don't judge everyone lest ye be judged yourself.

Besides I always prefer to hear constructive opinions. It has to this day helped me look better.

[Carly D.]

Wow.. What a slap in the head.. ok not really to me, because I have said it before that I could pass in a dark ally and the person I was trying to fool was legally blind... but I agree that there are some (a lot actually) that don't pass and seem to be here to ask if they do and are looking for encouragement to go out dressed up, even though there's just no way they can pass.. I wear for the fact that I just like the way it feels to have pantyhose on my legs and high heels on my feet...

[Sheila]

Much of our reality is within our own heads.
kimberlys-cd
joe in a skirt

Kimberley ,

Thankyou,
that said it all ................... and not just for CD's but for each and everyone of us who aspire to be the best we can be at whatever we attempt ...sometimes we need that reality check though, lest we begin to believe in our own reality.

[Jennaie]

Charlotte, if your wife or girlfriend were to ask you if her pants made her butt look big, what would your answer be? When she ask you if she looks good enough to go out for dinner, how do you respond? Are you always honest with her?

You see, it's very difficult for me to critique someone without fearing hurting their feelings. In the case of your wife or girlfriend, she could easily end up crying, being angry with you and guess what? your eating alone, or worse, sleeping alone.

It's not much different here, I care about others feelings and I don't want to hurt someone else's feelings. So I do the best I can to offer them suggestions without being cruel.

As for passing, (meaning, not being clocked as a male) well, it takes a tremendous amount of work and sometimes that won't even get it done. I saw many days when I walked out of my apartment and looked into the sun with a mirror in front of my face and said, "sorry, thats not a woman, you can't go out today".

As a person who needs to pass to go out in public, I know exactly what it takes, but it took years for me to learn it.

Ladies, if passing is imperative to your going out, don't give up. Learn makeup, be so good at it that you marvel the girls at the mac counter. Study the women at the mall, emulate them.

I totally disagree with you Charlotte that most of us can't pass. Those of us who are cd may be nothing more than men in dresses, but that does not mean we are incapable of passing.

To those of you who say, "passing is not important, Don't worry about passing, passing is overrated", I would much rather hear you say, "For me, passing is not that important", and understand that for the person who desperately feels the need to pass, it's important to them, it's more important to them than you realize.

Charlotte, sometimes it's hard to understand why we compliment others or say nothing when perhaps we should honestly be telling them what faults we see, but then, why is it that I can walk around for over 2 hours in a mall only to finally come across someone who smiles and says, dude, your fly is open. Are we any different?

[Kieron Andrew]

just a thought, maybe Charlotte made this thread to get the reaction we are all giving? this way she's still getting attention?

[Sandygal]

Thank you Charlette. I do enjoy this site, but sometimes it starts to get to sweet. You can really tell the crossdressers from the ones that have taken a step further on. The claws really come out. I understand what you are saying and I think I know what you want to hear. Example...Someone sends in a picture of themselves and ask us our opinions. Right away people write back how great you look. But one person writes back and says you look nice, but try to smile, cover your beard a little better and maybe tone down the eyeliner. I think thats the person who is really helping. Everyone else just tells you how wonderfull you look, which is nice, but its not helping you further your dreams.

[Margot]

You're all too kind to Charlotte and wasted too many key strokes.
Just tell "HIM" to get stuffed!!!
Margot

[MarciManseau]

Thank you Charlette. I do enjoy this site, but sometimes it starts to get to sweet. You can really tell the crossdressers from the ones that have taken a step further on. The claws really come out. I understand what you are saying and I think I know what you want to hear. Example...Someone sends in a picture of themselves and ask us our opinions. Right away people write back how great you look. But one person writes back and says you look nice, but try to smile, cover your beard a little better and maybe tone down the eyeliner. I think thats the person who is really helping. Everyone else just tells you how wonderfull you look, which is nice, but its not helping you further your dreams.

EXACTLY In my humble opinion exactly!

Hugs, Marci

[Nicki B]

All I hear is pain, Charlotte...

I think what you're really talking about is yourself - and you want us to beat up on you, to help with the guilt you feel?


Well, I'm not going to - I think you need help more than anything, so you can see if that fantasy can be made to come true? :hmmm:

Well..... I didn't, but sadly, everybody else did.

Looks like you got your wish, kiddo. Does it really feel any better, now?

[Shelly Preston]

I think thats the person who is really helping. Everyone else just tells you how wonderfull you look, which is nice, but its not helping you further your dreams.

Hi Sandygal

Sorry but I have to disagree

This is primarily a support site and a lot of the time some need to be told they look nice

Thats a big difference from being told you are passable

[Sheila]

Hi Sandygal


This is primarily a support site and a lot of the time some need to be told they look nice

Shelley then try being a GG ... and holding a different viewpoint .... To Charlotte Cross I have felt like saying in the words of old Gentlman Jim " welcome to my world"...............

[AmandaM]

<<Our hands, our feet and our shoulders are too big. Our faces are too square. We have no boobs, we have no arses, we have no hips and our knees are too knobby....>>

Well, if I looked like Hulk Hogan I wouldn't dress either! Maybe you should find a different hobby?