Originally Posted by occdresser
to the real world
Wickanne
Wickanne
Kat
I was exactly where you are once upon a time
Yes my wife was a stay at home mum and I was firmly in the closet
I ended up where I felt I had no choice
I had to tell my wife I was a Crossdresser and it was not easy
It took some time make arrangements time to dress after telling her but long term it was the best thing I ever did
Telling her may be the best option
Ah I get it!
I finally get it!!
You don't want a solution. You're clever enough to work out your own solutions after all. It's that 'woman' thing......no no no don't rush me.....I read it somewhere........It's like lateral thinking for men........I know this I know this...It's something to do with not trying to solve the problem or something....
GOT IT!
"I see....uhuh......awe that's terrible.......No I'd feel the same in your position.....It must be aweful.......Tell me all about it....I see.....You have my sympathies.....Would you like a cup of tea?"
Support and sympathy brought to you by Julie York Sympathy Inc.
[Julie York hugs will appear on your credit card as JYH PlC.]
Julie, like umm, are you trying to buy a vowel or something?
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 02-09-2008 at 08:33 PM. Reason: no need to quote the whole post for one line of text.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
Sorry, I don't get it.
Kat
I have been there done that and this is when I got sloppy and was caught for the first time. That has been 11 years ago and she was accepting at
first but being a new mom it wasn't the best time for her to find out.
I feel for you and only you know what works for you.
I don't suggest going away just to dress but if your self employed can you
dress at work after closing?
Goodluck
Tommi
Staying in the closet isn't so bad as long as you know why your in there.
Sorry to hear that, but I do not think now would be the time to come out either.
Ladies have a GREAT time!
Smile GOD LOVES you!!!
GOD BLESS US ALL!!!
AMY Hepker
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
I'LL BE ME
AND YOU BE YOU
Welcome to one of the many benefits of having children. They will enrich your life in almost every way. However, privacy isn't one of them. Before you know it you'll be hiding your fem things under the spare tire in your car because kids snoop everywhere. I am speaking from experience, and am just offering some friendly advice. Well, at least now I don't have to hide my clothes and things anymore.
Take an hour after you close your business, and dress at the office. Do what you have to do, and go home to Mama and son.
You can be wearing womens panties under your male clothing.
Put them on while in the bathroom, and remember to use the bathroom before you go to bed so you can take off those panties.
Maybe instead of venting, and looking for sympathy, you should STOP and smell the coffee, or perfume. Your wife just had a baby, she gave up her job to be a fulltime mother. A very difficult thing to do, give her the respect she needs and DESERVES, tell her the truth, she is a grown woman, born one, she can take it, the truth is not as bad as the things we think instead, I'm sure she knows something is not right in your marriage. Give her some credit for being the person you choose to marry and have children with. Stop hiding the truth from her.
Really.. if you people insist on thinking this behavior is worth sharing, then fine. Go ahead. I've made a choice NOT to share it. I don't think she would appreciate it, and my hope is that eventually I'll be able to quit.
As I said, dressing is for me only. To have my wife see me dressed would be an embarassment for me.
For all of you who have "accepted" dressing - good for you. I am NOT you. I enjoy it, but refuse to accept it as something I can't just change, and ultimately I feel like it something I shouldn't be doing.
I can't wait to see what nice responses I get to this one... fire away.
~Kat
I think its a huge deal that you feel unable to share this with your wife, therefore are lying to her to protect your secret, and yes i understand why people do this and yes now is not the right time, but you do need to tell her at some point because maybe not now but years down the line it will come back to bite you on the ass, i mean you are having problems now not being able to dress, what about when you child gets to the inquisitive stage and starts noticing things and questioning, believe me kids are far more perseptive that adults, also just what has me being FtM got to do with it, ive never actually hidden my transness from anyone, im very open and honest about who i am from the onset, if people dont like it then they dont like or love me for the person i am so are not worth it
not a chance in hell, its who you are, you were born this way!......
Last edited by Kieron Andrew; 02-09-2008 at 09:22 PM.
Hi Kat, I think maybe some people are being a little bit harsh with you. I can always understand any CD wanting to have a couple of hours to themselves,but you've got children now and maybe your crossdressing will have to be put on sort of a temporary hold for a few years while they're still small. And like a couple of people have pointed out all this business is surely no fun for your wife. When the child is a little older maybe you could tell your wife about your crossdressing! Maybe you're scared to death of that but she might be %100 OK with it! You never know! Kat, I think where you're making a mistake is that you think that this means the end of your dressing and it maybe isn't as final as all that. But you are a Dad now and there are times in our lives when we have to be self sacrificing and do it without complaint! Look,please don't run out on the kid and when things are a little quieter in a few years it could be advisable to tell your wife about your CD'ing.
Well if you really want to quit good luck
I know how difficult that can be I tried it I stopped for years but it resurfaced
Why would it be an embarresment for her to see you ??
<edit>
Spelling it not the same on both sides of the atlantic ocean
color & colour are both correct
You are like so many here when you say your thought marriage would suppress the urge
( been there done that got the t shirt )
Most members here dont realise some of the reasons why people get banned apart from the obvious
It normally starts because they think they have no need to follow the rules so when they get censored they dont like it
They think the rules dont apply to them
Last edited by Shelly_P; 02-09-2008 at 09:42 PM.
Hey Kat,
Good onya! Take care of your family and you. It's your life. Don't let the cranky, grumpy naysayers, and slammers get in your boxers, briefs, panties, and or going commando. Someone half a world away throwing venomous acrimony through the net should affect you not one wit. You know the way. Follow it.
As we say in SF: "F_ _ K 'em, feed 'em beans." "Don't like beans, chow's over."
De Oppresso Liber,
Huntress
[SIZE="2"]
oh for crying out freakin loud - GET PROFESSIONAL HELP!!!! I tried my damndest to be tactful and nice in my post last night, and in my message to you but wtf????!!!! How DARE you???
Seriously, you NEED help because you clearly have more than a few issues - and not only with yourself and your crossdressing, but the bullsh*t you've told yourself about your wife being happy living in ignorance.... no matter how wonderful and unselfish you THINK you're being, and how wonderful she would apprently tell us you are - you are lying to her, deceiving her, and denying her the chance to choose for herself whether this is something she wants in her life or not.
And for the record, my husband is certainly no freak. And unlike yourself, he at least had the common decency to tell me about his crossdressing BEFORE we were engaged, married, bought a house, and had children together. He was absolutely terrified of what would happen when he told me (having never told ANYONE before then), but he had enough respect for me and for himself, to do so only a few months into our relationship, and give me the opportunity to CHOOSE whether I wanted this, and him, in my life. I'll take that type of respect and unselfishness over yours anyday.
Grow the fluck up.[/SIZE]
Well kat i can get very close
I did try to suppress my dressing but not quite as much as you seem to have done
I have only been outside dressed once not bad for 45 years of being a crossdresser
so you are not that disimilar to myself
Question - how will you feel if you give in to your desires and your wife catches you ??
Will she think you have been telling lies ?
Secretly Psycho.... It's no secret
You're definately PSYCHO!!
I still can't help but feel some of you are projecting anger at me that I don't deserve.
is it hot in here or what
well first of all ill give one lines cause they tend to sink in better
The will to Dress will not stop ( your an idiot if you think it will )
your wife will eventually find out ( So does she like being lied to? )
Tamara is unfair but so so true ( and im not her favouate fan either )
you need to pull your head in and sort your shit out
you have a family that i assume you love, be true to yourself and your wife you are not a freak just denying who you really are a crossdresser.
just my 2c worth
[SIZE="2"]seriously, is that the best you can do???
it's all hitting a bit too close to home to actually address what people are saying, so you're just going to call people names instead?
[/SIZE]
Are we serious here? Do we now post threads to collect responses that say nothing more than "awwww, poor thing?" You post, we respond to what we(the other members) see as relevant.
Pfffft -- go to bed everyone and stop the nonsense.
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe
[QUOTE]so you knew going in to your marriage she would not appreciate it ?
this is a part of you . you will never quit i have never met anyone who as ..
if you could change it then why post about it . sooner or later she will find out it is just a matter of time .For all of you who have "accepted" dressing - good for you. I am NOT you. I enjoy it, but refuse to accept it as something I can't just change, and ultimately I feel like it something I shouldn't be doing.
I can't wait to see what nice responses I get to this one... fire away.
one day the itch to dress will be so strong you will scratch . something or someone will trigger your desire .
find a way to tell your wife Kat . living a lie will take it's toll ..on you your wife and child .
ps... i am not beating you up .. i learned the hard way .. it's too late for me save yourself
[QUOTE]I can , I can
also add the love of my life found out ..she thew me out of our house kept everything because i did not tell her in almost 22 we were together . lost my children .. it was only one little secret no big deal i can quit anytime ..
Last edited by MJ; 02-09-2008 at 10:23 PM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
*quick hugs* Welcome to parenthood Kat. Parents just don't get enough sleep, time or privacy in a day; and this lasts for months and months as you've found.
It will get better. Hang on to that thought and remind yourself often, "This won't last forever, everyday my wife and I are closer to a little more freedom and blessed sleep"
Hang in there Kat.
dancin
Ok everyone..
I'm sorry for the insults. It's just a defense mechanism, and I felt pretty banged up by the time I started dishing them out.
Clearly this thread was a bad idea, and I wish I could take it all back. I had hoped by putting out my note about being frustrated - that I would receive some constructive feedback. Instead I got attacked.
This clearly isn't the place for support. Nobody seems to understand my need to keep this hidden. I can accept that some of you think it's a good idea to tell your wives. I'm not sold on the idea. Once it's out, it's out. I won't be able to change, because in her eyes I will still be different, weird, or whatever. And believe me - I know what her opinion of CD's and Trans people are. I know it well. I've heard comments, and I've seen reactions. She's a strong religious person who believes it's wrong to be homosexual, CD, or any deviation from the norm.
Please don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do. I'll make my own decision.
~Kat
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