I'm a child of the 50's, too. I thought I was the only boy in the world who wanted to wear his sister's petticoats, but I always knew I loved girls! Even when a lot of the other boys thought girls were icky, I loved 'em and still do. Later, when I learned about cross-dressers, I thought they were all sicko homosexuals. It wasn't until I had a college course in Human Sexuality that I learned there were hetrosexual cds.
I kind of had the same thoughts as you when I was growing up.Originally Posted by MlleErin
I guess most of us didn't really know this straight out of the womb.
Of course I dressed a bit most of my life, but it was a guilty pleasure I didn't like to think about unless it was at attention.
Before I had this thought - "What would it be like to dress totally as a woman?" [about the time I was 22 or 23] I thought -
CD'ing was like some ultimate expression of being gay. [I was way wrong most of us are straight]
Some CD's were HAWT [even tho I could not admit this even to myself. This reality messed with my mind badly back then]
CD's could not be normal looking men if they looked that feminine even with makeup. [Yet we are as normal looking as any man.]
That since at the time all I wore was lingerie and hose, I was NOT CD.
Back then, I was a man's man. To even hear about a CD or TS was a threat to my masculinity. Now *I* am a threat to such for others
I guess I had a lot of mixed feelings. On one hand I thought it was wack, but on the other hand, I thought [God help me] that Ru Paul or Boy Geroge was pretty. [Quit laughing!]
It is like we fear the very things we are...
So what opinions or misconceptions did you have?
I knew about crossdressers, but associated them with gay males and drag queens.
Growing up, I was just like any other kid who rode a bike; played with boy toys; built model cars, planes, and boats; played video games; etc, etc. and the thought of dressing never even crossed my mind.
At some point in my early life I developed a fetish for women's feet and pantyhose and so I ended up wearing pantyhose, on occasion, up until a about 2 years ago when I started fully dressing.
JoAnn
I love to see a beautiful woman in a nice dress, but then again, I also want to wear that dress.
great question to me they always look beautiful . i was amazed at how they did it ?. and i thought you had to be gay to dress up .. and i was jealous of the girls .
.......Come to think it's all your fault YOU made me this way .......
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIZE="2"]Being raised in the SF Bay area I knew about most of the different walks of life there. I heard a lot of jokes and what have you relating cd/tg people to being homosexuals. Polk st. mission district and all that to me at that time meant gay district. My outlook never really changed until I began to research it for myself and loose my ignorance. California isn't the mecca of tolerance some would like to dream it is in my opinion. I always had an issue with appearing gay so I repressed a lot of my less masculine attributes from others. I didn't start dressing till late so I didn't have any issue with myself other than not living up to society and friends views of masculinity.[/SIZE]
I have worn my mom's pantyhose as far back as I can remember then when I was getting interested in girls I snuck one of the issues of playboy.
Just so happens there was an article discussing transgender people that is
when I realised it wasn't just me.
I never thought anything was wrong about it,but I wouldn't come out of the
closet because of a gay cousin who the family ridcules.
I figured better to dig into the back of the closet then have that type of
problem. I also felt that if I dated being a heterosexual male and could maintain a long term relationship that these feelings would go away.
That is probably the worst misconseption of many of us(my Opinion) and is
usually what leads into hiding our crossdressing.
Staying in the closet isn't so bad as long as you know why your in there.
One other footnote my cousin who is gay was married and had 2 beautiful daughters before he came out.
One of his attempts to cover up was volunteering for Vietnam.
Staying in the closet isn't so bad as long as you know why your in there.
I personally spent many of my early years wondering if I was the only one that did this. I spent many countless hours feeling guilty for doing what I was doing, why could I not stop myself from wanting to wear my mothers and sisters clothing, why did I want to wear panties with scented pantyshields in them? What was wrong with me that I acted like this? It was not until I came out to my mother (step-mother but more of mother than mom was), and she was okay with my wearing her things as long as I cleaned them before I returned them, and took me shopping for my own stuff that fit me better did I realize that I was not the only one, this was something that was more prevalent in this world than I had ever dreamt it was. It was years after that when my second wife decided she was going to try to change me by scaring me out of dressing by dressing me up completely that I realized that what I really wanted was to go as far as I could without hormones and surgery to be who I truly was. I am a crossdresser and that’s all there is to it. It took many years after that before I got up the nerve to seek a support group and finally go out in public while dressed en femme.
Kandis
Someone once told me "Put on Your big girl panties and deal with it". If they only knew, I WAS ALREADY WEARING THEM.
I wear the bras and panties so my wife doesn't have to.
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I was brought up by peer pressure. I made fun of gays all the time, as teen seen people with breast and penis, and called them freaks. Completely not understanding anything, but picked on them cause that's what my "friends" did. In the mean time secretly dressed, think ing something was wrong with me. I was 14ish and was caught dressed by one friend, he told everyone. needless to say our friendship of 7 years ended a few months later. He was the most popular boy in school and I was the nerd... I knew picking on them was wrong, I didn't even know what they were called, but My mom didn't want to deal with it, telling me to grow up... Into what? ... is what I wanted to know. The ultimate stab in my back is I was one of those I picked on, and didn't know what they were till I found this site. Anyways, I'm sorry for my actions, please forgive me, I didn't know any better...
P.S. I was called a sissy for many years by my own family, yes it hurt.
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I probably believed what my parents believed, that CD's are gay.
A Member of the Revolution.
One of my earliest memories was of crossdressing, so it's hard for me to answer. I suppose I didn't realize it was alright and that there were others out there until my late teen years.
As a kid I was secretly fasinated with shows like Bossom Budies since they were able to dress-up as women and get away with it, and I did have an odd fixation with women who had deep voices or who were lip-syncing to male voices, which I didn't understand at the time, but now do. I always wished I could go from being a boy to a girl anytime I chose, but I never wanted to be one hundred percent girl, just a boy who was allowed to wear dresses so growing up crossdressers or mixed gender people just drew me in.
Caroline Emily
Co-Moderator
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I remember going to my first support group meeting about a year ago, looking round at all those 'weird people' and then realising that I'm one too
mitch
First they kind of scared me as i thought i could be one too.
Then i tried to ignore them as i thought i could be one too.
After that i knew i was probably one too!
Now!! I,m proud to be one too!!
I was all Sindy dolls and Barbie as a kid and wanted to grow up to be Dancer with high heels and spangly costume... Guess I was screwed from the off
Der Transsexuellaußenseiter
The lovers have flown...
[SIZE="3"]VENI VIDI VICI[/SIZE]
Well I didn't know if this thread would go anywhere or not, but some of the responses are very interesting.
I thought I was a late starter cause I didn't dress fully until like 22 or 23. But some here didn't dress fully until over 50. Better late than never.
JoAnn Dallas - I cannot even imagine growing up decades ago in a rough state like Texas. I hope things in your parts are easier now.
So it seems the popular opinion is that CD and gay are directly connected. WE know there no connection, but explaining that to others, they just don't get it.
Lisa - I imagine there are Sindy dolls for sale on some sites, even if but to get back a part of your childhood.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
Before I knew that I was a crossdresser, like many teenagers, I thought that I was alone to do things like these...
Then I came accros a book by one of the pioneers of Transsexual surgical operation "Coccinelle". I didn't really associate with her experience bu that made me understand that some people wanted to change gender so badly that they were ready to go through terrible experiences to reach their goals.
There was very little information on Crossdressing in these years. I had almost none. Much later on I saw the movie "La cage aux folles" but I associated the character more to hoosexuality than to x-dressing. Eventhough the movie isn't giving a very good for the image of crossdressers, it made me be far more tolerant for homosexuality.
I still felt a lot of guilt from wearing women underwear and clothes...
It took me years to finally accept that I was a crossdresser... And more years not to feel guilty about it...
Now I'm feeling fine.
Eugenie
Yes ... it was the same for me .... My mother was an artist, with no comprehension about the need to fit in with others. One day she sent me to school in black tights under my compulsory shorts as it was cold in St Pe' de Bigorre. ( 10 ks from Lourdes ) I suffered the ridicule of the whole school!!
In Australia when I was a teenager, my mother started collecting used clothes to help people back in Poland. These bags of stuff were my first playground, and the taboo of what I was doing was extreemly enticing!
These days there is a great deal of acceptance in our societies, and so I feel free to explore a lot more. The last 10 years have brought me to trying to pass and go out at last!
My next adventure is a hotel booking for the end of the month, in Oxford st Sydney for the Mardi Gras w/end. It is an extremely open w/end with little threat to any one who wants to play. The hotel expect that most of the clientelle will be of this ilk. Should be fun!
Love it!!
When I was young I sided with my friends when they said they hated somebody. For myself the only people that bothered me was the CD's that were overly female. You know, like the one's you see on Jerry Springer shows and how they had them act in movies. But I was one of them an I never could be like that. They gave all CD's/TS's bad reputations.
I was young when I realized what I was and had never even heard of crossdressing or transsexuality. It was also to be quite awhile before I knew I wasn't the only person to feel this way.
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe
i don't recall having an opinion either way . i think i have allways been a crossdresser .
For me it is like which came first, the chicken or the egg? The first time I saw a woman in really high heels and was old enough to realize how difficult they might be to walk in, I had to know for myself. The first time I saw a man impersonate a woman was probably on the Phill Donahue talk show. I was immediately fascinated and proceeded to find out for myself what it was like.
Of course this all took time (10 years?) - during which I thought I must be the only one obsessed with this. Eventually the internet came along and I quickly learned I wasn't the only one. I can't believe I had internet access for several months before I thought to look up this topic. Seems obvious now. I look everything up. Back then it was new and it didn't occour to me to look up CD ot TG.
Gen
The subject always kind of scared me because I knew I was a CD deep down. I've had intervals in my life when I spent a long time trying to forget about my crossdressing. I faced up to it when I was about 19.
I was three or four when I realized I wanted to be a girl. I knew that it was not ok because the people around me told me so. I was much older, maybe 13 when the Jorgensen thing happened and that scared me even more. Mostly, the years since have helped me to be more accepting of myself.
For years I always wondered what it would be like to meet other CDers. Then in 2006 I got the chance to go to HEF. I meet many wonderful friends there and everyone treated me so well. My first thoughts was "WOW, they ae just like me, I am not alone". Many found out it was my first time dressed in public and made it a kind of a coming out party. I now belong to the local Tri-Ess chapter and love going to their meetings.
Since I've known since childhood I was "different" those who are like us who I've met have never been looked upon differently by me at all. I do find it strange that I was born this way. I mean, If I was born "normal" I might find the whole men dressing in womens clothing repulsive, sick, twisted, deviant, gay - whatever titles you can think of. Instead, I see nothing wrong with it, I"m not fazed in the least when I meet people like us in person and I have during makeovers. We are normal, everyday people with a special gender gift that's not quite accepted or a better word to use is "understood". I wish I had CD friends in real life that I hang out with in male mode (who knows, I might and not know it?)
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