Are we afraid to be thought of as gay?

[Nicki B]

Looking a GG's they them selves, and GM's (some now. M & F) have sexualized women in this society. So in the uninitiated mind, would naturally think we are gay.

But Joy, why is that a problem? Why does it matter to you what they think?

[Kathleen Ann Trees]

Because sexuality, like racism or faith, is very complicated, the answer is complicated. But yes.

My life has been the Happy Days nuclear family. Mom, Dad, brothers. Sports. School. Job. Wife. Kids. Mortgage. The only thing missing is Church. Never been into that. Probably because, in my life, CDing would be considered a sin. That's a whole 'nother thread.

Many of you will say, poor dear. You've been so sheltered. I've never had a gay friend. Friends of extended family is as close to the GLBT as I've been. (Except for the mirror, obviously.) As I write this, I cannot honestly say anybody at work (same company for over 25 years) is outwardly gay.

If it came out at work, I would be ostricized and probably lose my job. Not overtly, but I wouldn't want to work with the hostility that would come with it. Unless I was willing to change everything in my little cocooned world, being thought of as gay would be a problem.

So yeah. If I was thought of as gay, I believe it would change my life. Perhaps that kind of change would ultimately be good. But I'm not willing to give up the comfort zone I'm in.

Kathleen Ann

[kathy001]

As i mentioned in a previous thread when i venture out in public as Kathy, i try to present as much as i can female exactly for some of the reasons outlined thus far. When out in public, I definitely don't want to be taken as a homosexual or a fulltime Tranny because i'm neither.
And as Joy mentioned earlier, i don't dress to troll for dates, titilate men or attract attention. But sometimes it doesn't work out that way when some wise-arse teenage girl not only reads but makes comments which i've had to live with.

I enjoy my guy life and yes also real girls! Further, i don't ever see myself in a gay bar...period! Now having said this, the Libertarian in me has no problems whatsoever with others engaging in the gay life style, whatever floats one's boat. Just not my cup of tea!!

[kymmieLorain]

I believe that is about society putting labels on people. and most people go along with society. most people are followers whether they realize it or not. People think that being male I must like Football, but actually hate the game. I only go to the local collage game to watch my son march in the band. Am I not a male because I don't watch certain sports, or go out an get plastered drunk By looking in my panties I can see that I am indeed male.
As I sit here writing this I am dressed in a pink baby doll nightie, so. I wear what I want. society is all about labels. I am male so I must like football. I ride a Harley so I must be a lowlife. I have tattoos so I must be strange. I wear womans cloths and lingerie so I must be gay.

Labels it is what society places when you do follow what people believe to be normal.
In school I was some what of an outcast. I had few friends. I was a motorhead from the autoshop. people knew me for my car than for myself. Did I care, some but Would I change it if I could, some parts but not the majority of it. Would I change my life, again some parts. But would actually start crossdressing sooner.

Hugs
Kymmie

[bimini1]

Because sexuality, like racism or faith, is very complicated, the answer is complicated. But yes.

My life has been the Happy Days nuclear family. Mom, Dad, brothers. Sports. School. Job. Wife. Kids. Mortgage. The only thing missing is Church. Never been into that. Probably because, in my life, CDing would be considered a sin. That's a whole 'nother thread.

Many of you will say, poor dear. You've been so sheltered. I've never had a gay friend. Friends of extended family is as close to the GLBT as I've been. (Except for the mirror, obviously.) As I write this, I cannot honestly say anybody at work (same company for over 25 years) is outwardly gay.

If it came out at work, I would be ostricized and probably lose my job. Not overtly, but I wouldn't want to work with the hostility that would come with it. Unless I was willing to change everything in my little cocooned world, being thought of as gay would be a problem.

So yeah. If I was thought of as gay, I believe it would change my life. Perhaps that kind of change would ultimately be good. But I'm not willing to give up the comfort zone I'm in.

Kathleen Ann

We have a couple of outwardly gay folk at the job. Everyone treats them with respect until a few of the smaller minded ones get at the lunch table. Then they let it fly. But for the most part they don't seem to have too many problems.

Now let someone try and come up in there trans and all hell will break loose. I think people are so trained in visuality. He may be gay but at least he dosen't wear a dress type of attitude. Most are still ignorant to all of the definitions we have here.

They think in terms of straight or gay and no in between. They do not understand someone who wears ladies clothing talking about they are straight. They won't accept that. Hell if I didn't have gender issues I'd be just as ignorant because of the socialization you come up under.

[Nicki B]

And as Joy mentioned earlier, i don't dress to troll for dates, titilate men or attract attention.

Neither do I - I dress for me..

Further, i don't ever see myself in a gay bar...period! ...Just not my cup of tea!!

If you've never tried it, how on earth do you know? You'd find yourself in a place where interesting people who are used to thinking differently hang out...

[SarahHall]

I never thought I was gay until I started to dress like a girl. The thought of having a homosexual relationship has been a part of my life since then. I want to share my bed with a guy while I am dolled up and I am very comfortable with it today.

[kathy001]

Nicki B Wrote:
If you've never tried it, how on earth do you know?

I never tried robbing a bank either...nor will i ever...i don't need to know!

You'd find yourself in a place where interesting people who are used to thinking differently hang out...

I've got enough interesting charactors to hang out with!

No thanks!

[Nicki B]

I never tried robbing a bank either...nor will i ever...i don't need to know!

It's a long time since being homosexual was seen as a criminal activity..

I've got enough interesting charactors to hang out with!

No thanks!

Are you afraid you might catch something?

[kathy001]

The persistant Nicki B Wrote:
Are you afraid you might catch something?

Nicki, you're barking up the wrong tree!
Believe me, there's nothing i'd want to catch in a gay bar!

[CaptLex]

Many of you will say, poor dear.

*raises hand*

Yup, I pity you in that tight, airless, dark closet you choose to live in. But to each his own.

If I can compare homophobia and transphobia to another form of prejudice, racisim . . . someone once said to me that black people have to face and accept their "difference" because it's obvious to everyone around them. They can't change or cover up the color of their skin, so they deal with ignorance and prejudice every day and learn to be proud of who they are. It's not the same with some of us because we can and do hide our difference from the world a lot of the time. But what if we couldn't hide it? What if everyone that looked at us unequivocally knew that we're crossdressers, transgender and/or homosexual, bisexual or asexual? How would we deal with that? Would we jump off a bridge or hide in a cave in order to avoid the remarks and actions we know will come? Or would we just go on with our lives proudly, and tell those that don't like us to eff off?

[Fab Karen]

A salesperson ( male or female ) may think you're a CD ( but then again they might assume you're buying for a gf/wife ) another thing they may think is: "yes! another good sale."
Listen to Nike: Just do it.

[mikecd999]

I have traveled a lot, always with my wife and usually in a skirt or dress. That seems to really confuse a lot of people, wondering why a guy in a skirt is with a female. I like the confused look on people a lot and I really don't care if they think I'm gay or not.

Mike

[Marcie Sexton]

I am much to old and mature for what others think...

I think the nursery rhyme says it all...

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me...

[Stephanie Anne]

This division of gay not gay always gets to me. I don't like it when people foolishly assume someone is inferior simply because of their beliefs.

The trans community (crossdressers included) is the last oppressed group really in this country. We are the bottom step on the lbgt ladder and due to the perception that we are deceiving people and that this is nothing more than a mental disorder, we get no respect.

The last thing we really need is to try and alienate ourselves form the only other community that might accept us and help to get us more rights and acceptance.

On the SA part of the original post, I find I like dealing with women better as they generally don't have as crappy of an attitude. If however there was a choice between a gay man and woman SA, I would happily trot over to the gay man for no other reason than he most likely will have a better grasp on what it is I am trying to buy.

As for being labeled as gay, I would not mind being thought of as gay, I simply have no sexual desire towards men at this point in my life.

[Teresa Amina]

Well it's always funny to consider people's reactions when Amber and I are out around here. Sometimes I'm fully Teresafied and other times just "in between". You can bet whatever you want to they think we're gay. So what? It goes with the territory and if you're going to be out and about you need to accept that up front. Or stay in hiding

[Julie York]

You big puff.

[deja true]

Gosh, I wish I'd been here earlier in the day to swing a couple of bats at all the closet homophobes in here. But a lot of the better adjusted girls have already voiced my thoughts many times over.

If you harbor hidden prejudices against any others , you probably still hate yourself down deep, too.

As an old girlfriend once told me, "We're all creatures of God's making, an' God don't make no junk!"

respect (for the respectful) & love (for the loving),

deja

(How come there are over 300 viewers right now and a dirth of new posts? Get talkin', bitches!)

[Katrina]

I've been mistaken for gay even before I came to accept myself as a CDer. That was before I ever started wearing girls clothes in guy mode. I'm sure I'm mistaken for gay much more often now. I'd estimate that a good 25% of people I see on the street that don't know me would assume that I'm gay.

In the past, that bothered me. Then I had some close friends come out and met some others who are THE nicest people. If I'm assumed to be more like them, I have NO problem with that. What other people think is not my problem.

[Patrice]

I never really understood the human race until I read a magazine article on primate pack dynamics, chimps in particular. We consider ourselves to be superior and evolved but if you peel things back, look beneath the digital watches and string cheese in a can, we still behave and react like monkeys. The 2 most basic divisions wired into our psyches are 'Us/Them' and 'Alpha/Beta' - whatever isnt familiar and known MUST be bad, and there must always be Leaders and Followers (to put it kindly). Homophobia sort of includes both these principles, homosexuality is so different from the standard procreative sexual dynamic that at the most basic cultural level we consider it bad. (A little aside, the White Anglo-Saxon Protestant culture is almost unique in its innate homophobia). Add in that in the man/woman dynamic we also assume the man is superior, he takes and conquers his property (the woman) and thus man considers that to be looked upon as a sexual object by another man is to be considered a thing, less, property.

People almost never throw this out this blatantly, but Im a firm believer in boiling things down to the most basic words needed to describe it. We spend too much time over-rationalizing things through language til it bleeds the impact out of it, and anything without impact can be safely ignored.

More to the point, homophobia is an instinctual animal reaction, and a sign of sentience is the ability to move beyond your instincts, to THINK rather than react. Or we should just move back into the trees.

[Kristen Kelly]

[SIZE="3"]I get mistaken for Gay more in drab lately, I act the same way no matter how I'm dressed, enfeminine. I honestly don't care what others think. For the record I am Bi.[/SIZE]

[charlie]

I always assume that when I go out dressed those that get close enough to see that I am a "man in a dress" believe I am both gay and a pervert. It is always refreshing when someone stops and talks to you and wants to be friendly. I'm sure that the "friendly" sales assistants also think we are gay and perverts as well. Hell, even gays don't understand us if we aren't bi or gay and dressing. One guy at a table said to his friend "Just shhot me if i ever CD".

[kathy001]

This thread is getting to the point of divisivness and approaching the non-sensical! For crying out loud, each and everyone one of us dresses as the opposite sex at one time or another which is considered deviant behavior by a large segment of the populous.
True or False?

Now why on earth would anyone in this here Crossdressing Forum be prejudiced against another lifestyle which is also considered deviant by some?
Some crossdressers are straight and some crossdressers are gay..so friggen what!

Let it be already before we end up in two very different camps! My

[Nicki B]

I happen to believe that God reserves sexual activity for married couples and that He established marriage as a relationship between man and woman.

So a loving relationship is okay, as long as they don't have sex?

But that doesn't mean we should all of a sudden make those things the standard or the norm.

What are LGB people supposed to do though, if they aren't allowed to marry? Aren't we all made in His image??

It may not be the norm - but why can't it be seen as normal?

[Melora]

I think that M & F homosexuality is pretty much accepted in most of western society, (depending on where you are), But here in America I feel that the TG community are actually the most unaccepted of any race, color or creed, (once again depending upon where you are)..
About same sex marrage.. = What a ridiculous thing to have laws AGAINST!, Soo Old World.. Let people just be happy and pay their taxes! Fooey on the Government!!
And yes this whole thread is getting kinda way off the point.. Though I added to its pointlessness a bit? Hehe