I never chose to be a CDer it just happened many years ago. I did not read about it or know anyone and in those days it certainly did not appear on cinema or TV (not in my experience). I've purged many times but something happens to restart it again.
Love Fran.
choose .... lol what choice ..... I didnt get to choose
Quick simple answer with a lot of depth hiding in the shadows - I choose to CD because it helps bring me balance and contentment. I dont have to, Im not compelled to, if I so chose I could make it through my life never letting that gremlin out of its cage. But that wouldnt be to my benefit, just so I could fit in with 'normal' (god I hate that word) folks. So I do it.
"I'm never really alone, I'm a Gemini."
------------------------------------
I am who I am when I'm not who I'm supposed to be.
------------------------------------
Think for yourself and question everything. There is no failure in being wrong - only in letting others think for you.
i have always slanted towards the nurture opinion - i dont believe men and women are that different - males and females arnt born with mascilinity or femininity its installed in us from an early age before we even have any control over who we are as people - its society that dictates to most of us - most people just follow the norm of society whether they agree with it or not - its easier to conform than be different ! a lot of people wear masks to cover up the real person they really are just to conform with society - only the very brave or those who have a real need to break from the norm do anything to about it - its sad really but i wonder just how many people go through their lives never really being true to themselves - especially guys as i do think women have it easier in todays society - the pendulime has swung in womens favour - it amazes me how many women just tar all men with the same brush (i work with ggs) a lot of them think men are all the same - maybe we as cders need to educate them and men also to realise men can be just as diverse as women can - and then maybe eventually people will realise it isnt what gender you are that makes you who you are as a person but who you are inside !
Nope, it's likely that everyone is genetically predisposed to being either left or right handed, but choices made through your environment as a young child will dictate whether you learn to write with your left or right hand.Originally Posted by Nicki B
So... is being left-handed a personality trait?
As I said, it is neither one nor the other. It's likely to be a combination of BOTH that lead to the crossdressing many of your experience as adults. No one can say what it is, but I very much doubt it's either one or the other. Very few things are that cut and dry, most are a combination to a lesser or greater degree.
And I also think many of you are confusing what "nurture" is. When people refer to nature vs. nuture they actually mean what influence your genetic make up has one you vs what influence your environment has had on you. When people refer to the "nurture" side, it doesn't mean that you necessarily had a choice in it. It refers to how your environment influenced you during your development.
It may well be that the desire to crossdress is innate, but the actual expression of crossdressing is a learnt behaviour. Who knows? I certainly don't, I can only make assumptions based upon my knowledge of other behavioural traits.
I think it would be also very interesting to see whether the rare conditions of XX males and XY females ever have an influence on crossdressing and whether a significant proportion of those with the condition crossdress.
Last edited by Ema1234 GG; 02-22-2008 at 05:14 AM.
God does not play dice with the universe.
He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared from the perspective of any of the other players (i.e. everybody) to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stales, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules and who smiles all the time.
Sorry but you can't have it both ways - either you were "made that way" or not - but then you cannot say you "chose to be that way" - Me, ? I belive I was made to be a lesbian trapped in a man's body - I don't think anyone would actually chose that --- or would they?
Last edited by nervousguy; 02-22-2008 at 07:31 AM.
Hithink maybe Ema is correct. Crossdressers are genetically predisposed to crossdressing but something(s) in our environment/background is likely to have triggered it. Isn't it GREAT!
I didn't choose to do this it's just there And I love it
Angie
I agree. IMO we are born as a crossdresser and that it is predetermined in the womb as is the colour of our hair , eyes etc.[SIZE="4"]How many times have I heard the Question...
Why did you choose to be this way?
What is your feeling on this? What do you think?
I personally believe the Creator of the Universe made me this way.
It was not a choice.
It is how I was wired.
Et vous?
Bev[/SIZE]
The above posts are spot on. We can deny who we are or accept it.
So very true Steph.
Xx Vicky xX
I personally feel like someone messed up my DNA... my body seems missmatched, some parts of me are very masculine whilst other parts are very feminine. For instance my chest and back are almost naturally hair free, I have an hourglass figure and very long, slender fingers. My legs are however extremely hairy, as are my arms and I have a very masculine chin. My eyes however are also quite feminine in appearance.
I think growing up feeling like that is part of why I spend part of my life as a woman and other parts of it as a man. I don't feel like I ever want to be fully one or the other.
I too believe that this is nature, and not nurture. My reason is that I am a granparent for the first time and babysit my grandaughter regularly. It seems that at least 1000 times a day someone will say to her, "good girl" or "pretty girl", etc. and I cannot imagine her not living up to that role unless there is a genetic detour.
[SIZE="4"]Upon reading all of your thoughtful and thought provoking opinions, "no choice" surfaces in my mind.
Yes sweetheart, I recall all the episodes of StarGate (SG1) where Jack O'Neil looks at the rest of the team and sullenly says, "No choice...Eh?" And they all shake their heads nope... Great comic moments... And soooo appropriate.
And I thought I had a vote on this.
Silly Girl.
Bev[/SIZE]
Last edited by Bev; 02-22-2008 at 12:21 PM.
Beverly
I remember when I was young in kindergarten that the girl would walk around the play ground playing a game it was WHO WANTS TO SEE A PITCHER it was usually about 3 girls and if you sead yes than they would stop and do a little dance I just wonted to do that so i got a group together boys not girls that didn't mater as long as I was playing girls games I all so love skipping and Jakes but I didn't play them as much as I would have liked as I thirty that i would get teased so as to do i think that we come out this way I believe YES
Seems like if I made a choice it was so subtle I didn't realize it. Could so subltle a choice have so much impact? Wish I really knew what causes this yearning and drive. So all theories are equally valid at this point I think. Other than "just because we've decided to be" as I've heard ignorant/bigots folks say about being gay.
ChanDelle
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicki B
The choice I have is to accept who and what I am, or to spend my life feeling guilty, and ashamed, and angry..
I agree with Nicki B, and several others...I have been struggling with this quite a bit lately...the Who am I ? or What am I? questions...
sometimes it gets extremely difficult to be here...I love my male me also, yet I want Katie to blossom...we go through the stages and sometimes it feels as if the female side starts getting more time...I act a bit more like Katie. Being an RN it can be easy at work because nursing has traditionally been a female occupation.
Then one day the male me is the strong one and I think, Thank God that is over...now I can get on with life...I will just purge (again) and it will be all over...I won't have anything here to tempt me....HA!
...truth is....I believe I am Katie also...I need to accept this daily...
I could go on...
Katie (aka Caitlin)
I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut
I thank God or whoever is the higher being for being like this, I have gotten to experience so much of what the female side is like and to be more in tune with them, I love everything about the female gender
didn't choose, just am, and it feels right.
I don't recall making a conscious choice one day and adding this element to my life. I was born this way and I am thankful for that. I haven't always felt so positive. There was a time I thought, as some of you may have, that it was an affliction or something of a curse. It took me a while to get over that feeling. Now that I have, its not just OK. Acceptance adds to my peace of mind.
Babette
I am what I am either except me as I am or don't as far as gay I have gay and lesbian friends and married. My Lesbian friends Except me as one of the girls. my male gay friends except me as a girl. I'm happy where I'm at right now the future could change for me.
Heard it many time here too, from everyone. I was born this way, at age 4 I was a girl, and raised boy. I choose to stop hiding in fear at age 29, and came out for better and worse.
DK Productions LLC, Giving back to the Rainbow Community. Need a DJ, Every Song Has a Story, We Make The Memory
I do not choose...
I accept!
No closet is big enough!
It's not a choice -- we are born this way. The choices are whether to hide our nature, or express it.
Laura
Nature vs. Nurture has been debated for years in the behavioral sciences community. Most of us have come down on the side that says most male homosexuality is nature and effeminate behavior is nurture. There are plenty of very masculine gay men and effeminate straight men.
So, I think if we are to get anywhere with this discussion we need to distinguish between gender dysphoria and fetishistic CDing. Although there are components of socialization in some gender dysphoria, (ex: sisters getting special treatment over brothers; dominant mothers; over expectations layed on boys regarding sports, etc.), most of the comments supporting the "nature" argument seem to sugggest an inborn sense of dissatisfaction with the plumbing nature provided us.
On the "nurture" side of the argument we find examples of behavioral conditioning occuring during sensitive development periods of our lives.
At the risk of over simplifying things, let's consider 2 types of conditioning. The first is conditioning that occurs without our knowledge or participation. (Classical or Pavlovian Conditioning) If a neutral object is repeatedly presented to us at the same time as something that ellicts a positive reaction, that previously neutral object takes on the same importance as the positive object or situation. (Yes, it can also work with negative stimuli.) If we become aware of womens shoes, for example, during a sexualy arousing incident, and that pairing of the shoes and the arousal occurs enough times, the shoes become sexually arousing. (Pavlov's salivating dog's) Those of us who discovered women's underwear while going through puberty generally fall into this catagory.
The second type of condition is called Operant Conditioning. In it we find a reward following a particular behavior tends to encourage the repitition of that behavior. If wearing my sisters dresses gets my mom to give me more attention, or allows me to feel as special as I believe my parents are treating her, then I'm likely to continue that behavior.
While gender dysphoria of the "nature" type can be seen in very young children with little evidence of any conditioning, the onset of CDing occuring at the same time as puberty generally suggests some elements of conditioning. And therefore "nurture".
Obvioulsy, we are all unique individuals. However, there are enough similarities in our collective experiences to suggest the general validity of these theories. And, of course, the infinite variation of what we have been exposed to in each of our developmetal experiences makes for an infinate number of variations on the theme.
why did some people "choose" to enjoy the taste of broccoli?
[SIZE="3"]Gender is a state of mind[/SIZE]
LGBTQ PRIDE
As of Oct. 5th, go here to see my pics:http://www.flickr.com/people/fab_karen/
A Yankee Doodle T-Girl
proud of my President
Oh I think I like the words gender blend now!
I don't feel I choose this one way or the other. That is like saying, why did you choose to be happy instead of gun to the mouth sad?
And honestly why even care if we chose this because we have a hang up over mommy issues, we got hurt in the soul as a kid or we just happen to fancy the other side of the street and there is not a thing wrong with us?
Most trans related situations are probably nurture or lack there of. nature of course accounts for an affinity toward one direction over the other.
If there was no social gender roles everyone would be in drag and the only things gender specific would be related to functionality. Since that is not the case and we live in a gender run world, why bother at all, if your mind goes to the other side, why fight your body following?
Posting Permissions
