How did you become comfortable with crossdressing?

[Brynna M]

The title pretty much says it all. Many people seem very comforatable and very accomplished with their dressing. How did you become comfortable with your desire to crossdress?

I think I've got a handle on accepting myself but I am sill still worried about what people around me would think if I "came out" or was outed (via shaving etc.) People I consider good friends I'm sure would be tolerant of it if not outright supportive but coworkers and casual aquaintances at my hobbies might not.

On a related note; how did you discover what degree of crossdressing was right for you? Did you ever go to far and regret it?

Thanks for any inights and for a great place to be.

B

[annekathleen]

I love the feeling of womens clothing, but I dont always like what I see in the mirror when I am dressed. I'm sitting here wearing a bra, breastforms, and one of the ex wifes tank tops. Looking down to see a pair of breasts and my bra strap occasionally slipping off my shoulder is fun and exciting, but I dont care to venture out of my home fully dressed. We all have our different comfort levels.

[Dee Jay]

I've been comfortable with my desires since day one.
My wife took some time, 20+ years, but she's fully accepting and support these days.

Others?... Some of my close friends now and it doesn't bother them, though they haven't seen me dressed.

Work... Some might suspect it, but they know I'm weird, and have strange ways, so again, I doubt if they would be negative.

DJ

[Nicki B]

Three words -

Practice, practice, practice.....

[DAVIDA]

Actually, it was Jean, my wife , who helped me understand that this is a part of me. It is nothing to be ashamed of, and that it is why I am who I am.
It was this forum and the people here that made me realize that I am not alone.

[bridget thronton]

Lots of reading, lots of time on the Internet (reading forums like this one), and several outings wearing skirts with no unpleasant consequences.

[Cheryl Ann]

I am not yet comfortable with my crossdressing but crossdressers.com is giving me hope!

[Samantha43]

I have been cross dressing for so long (30+ years) it just seems part of who I am now. My wife is very supportive, so that helps. She has known since before we were married. I am not comfortable with going out (tried it a few times), so I am happily in the closet. It is something that I find totally relaxing and satisfying.

[Amy Hepker]

Although I am still in the closet as per say, I do enjoy dressing all the time, I wear female underwear 24/7 and I am working toward dressing 24/7 in all my splender. I feel so much better when dressed as a female and know that I should have been born Female. I feel as though I have been crossdressing as a guy all my life and feel at home in my feminine attire. It is all about what you want and how you feel, if you are trulely female inside you will feel at home in girls clothing and will not care what other think. It does not matter what they think anyway as long as you are happy with yourself.

[Patrice]

This sounds so doggone simplistic, but Im comfortable with my crossdressing because I chose to be. Its something I do for me, noone else, and thus needs noones approval or consent but mine. I discovered there is a tremendous amount of freedom in finally not caring what other people think about me, my basic philosophy is folks who cant accept me are not really worth my time or effort. I dont broadcast my underdressing at work, what is under my clothes is my business, but im not terrified about people noticing either. Some wont understand what they see, some wont believe it and just assume they saw wrong, others just wont care. And if they do decide to hassle me, my employers discrimination policies are on my side.

As for my comfort levels? Admittedly somedays it takes a bit more to top off my 'Femzoil' levels than others, but cant that be said about all things in life?

[EllenTheWonderGirl]

and I mean always.

However, the comfort level is often different for others who share our space in this world, so have been discreet for their benefit.

Personally speaking, though, I was more than comfortable since I can remember, and I'm talking the age of 5.

[TGMarla]

I'm not sure just what "comfortable" means here. I physically and emotionally have always enjoyed crossdressing. That's why I do it. And I do it quite often, so I guess you could say I'm comfortable with it. So whereas I'm completely comfortable with it, I'm sure others aren't. So I don't venture out anywhere, and dress only to please myself. I'm sure a lot of people would suggest that I go out, but It's outside my comfort zone.

[EllenTheWonderGirl]

do not ever go outside your comfort zone.

Sure, push the envelope if you wish and test the waters, but don't go outside your comfort zone.

A comfort zone, to me, is not just where one is, but where one is able to go without creating negativity internally to the extent that it causes hurtful emotions.

[jennifer41356]

when I decided I wanted to explore my fem side, I enjoyed it so much I decided I would enjoy it and embrace, for life is short and I already had wasted 30 years of being fem

[Sally24]

How did you become comfortable with your desire to crossdress?

Lots of time......I've dwelt on this most of my life. Only got active over the last 3 or 4 years. In that time my idea of just what this part of me is has changed. Most days I'm pretty comfortable with who I am. I keep the balance between my male and female lives most times, with the occasional stumble.

On a related note; how did you discover what degree of crossdressing was right for you? Did you ever go too far and regret it?

I've read and talked with TS friends and explored my desires in my mind. By getting out more and more and going to different venues and doing different things. Sometimes I'm a GG, sometimes a T-girl. Sometimes I go mainstream and blended in. Sometimes I go alternate clubbing and wear miniskirts! I'm still exploring and finding out just who I am (or who I might have been?). Never gone too far, just thought about it, then thought better of it.

[Stephanie-L]

Becoming comfortable with my CDing has been a long process. It has been helped by input from many sources, starting with the CD columnist in the old magazine "Nugget" to this forum, to my therapist. My level of CDing has likewise changed over the years, to the point that I am seriously considering going full time, with my therapists support. I see myself in the past in many of the fine people posting here, and hopefully see myself in the future in others. To all, thank you and keep it up.....Stephanie

[Stephanie Anne]

Well since I am a tad bit more than a crossdresser, I stop thinking of it as crossdressing and started realizing it is the appearance I relate to. Makes wearing a dress less of a "thing" and more of "why oh why am I in hose again, this stuff i not comfortable!"

[TxKimberly]

Hmmm. . . none of these questions is as simple as you make them sound.
Pretty much you get comfortable when you get comfortable. I don't think there is a lot of rhyme or reason to it. I think for a lot of us it is related to our age. As you get older your tolerance for Bull Sh$# declines. You get to the point where you say to yourself "This is what I am, I'm not ashamed of it, and I really don't give a care what anyone thinks about it." I think that as a general rule, younger folks these days were not brought up with it being such a stigma so maybe they reach this point earlier in their lives than my generation did.
Gone too far? Yes - guilty. I shared it with some ladies I work with. All but one was cool. The one that wasn't decided to share it with others that I wouldn't have wanted to know. While I'm not ashamed of what I am, I do have enough common sense that I know it is not good for my career for this to be widely known. So the moral of the story is, i wish I had never let on to anyone at work - I don't need or want that complication

[black leotards]

I've been CDing for a long time (over 40 years now!). As a child I was confused but knew that I liked dressing up. It wasn't until I was in my late 20s and dating my first wife that I started to become more open. I took up ballet lessons, partially because i got to dress in public. While I usually wore a t-shirt and tights, i would wear a leotard on occasion.

It was a couple of years later that I started to visit a therapist to learn more about myself. I decided that if I was ever going to be comfortable with CDing, I would have to learn to accept myself. By visiting a therapist, i felt i could share that side of me and not risk a close friendship.

She helped me out enormously, not because she gave me any magic answers, but more because she accepted me for myself and helped me to learn to do the same thing. I would dress up for each session and it felt great. We even had some sessions in a local church, which seemed a bit weird but kind of a thrill too.

I have dressed up in public a couple of times, but not so much over the last few years. I currently live in a small town and it's difficult to get the privacy. However, having said that, because I'm comfortable with myself, I don't seem to need to dress up as much.

I still wear female underwear (at least panties) everyday and of course, tights most of the year. I don't own any male underwear and not too many socks either .

That's my story. Cheers!

[Celeste]

Hi brad,I like your question,I'm always trying to gage whether or not its finally comfortable for me.My answer is that it fluctuates,for instance, last month I thought I might want to try and go out(CLOSET STILL),and now this month I'm like "thank god I didn't do that".Next month I'll probably want to go out again,meaning my comfort level will have risen again.Then I might say"well I'll just stay inside",then I get that feeling of not being assertive enough or allowing others to curb my decisions.So I'm always bouncing around with the comfort zone and it really does depend a whole lot on how well the preparation went.some days there is no zone,like spending 2 or 3 hours getting fixed up and nothing works then realizing my heart just wasn't in it.I always know that I'll be back with a better effort though.

[michellebesweet]

You are the only one that can make that decision. In your mind and heart, you will truly know when you feel comfortable. With me, it was when I never felt nervous around the house, went out in public and never worried about who was staring at me, and when men started opening doors for me walking into a building or store, yes that really happened, and it felt great.

[docrobbysherry]

However, I've become much more accepting of my new, hobby since I found this site 5 months ago.

I now have a certain comfortability with Sherry and me in our closet. Still think I am weirder than a bag full of eels for enjoying CDing so much. I also worry my CD desires will move on to where I will NOT be comfortable at all!
RS

[Meg East]

I became comfortable with myself when I came out of the closet to my wife. Being in the closet is a lonely place.

[Kate Simmons]

I am comfortable with who I am if that is what you mean. The dressing is merely a reflection of part of that.

[ravens_roost2004]

Mine started with my wife introducing panties when love making. Then it grew from there. It did go further than she planned, but for the most part she is supportive. I am sitting here in my nightie and panties and it feel right.