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Thread: Female feelings, female thoughts, female desires?

  1. #26
    Senorita Member Sigrid's Avatar
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    I really only began to really explore my fem side just a few weeks ago. I started thinking of this very question over the last few days. What I had realized is that no matter what thoughts or feelings I perceive as feminine, they are in the end just that; what I as a man might imagine them to be like. I'd never, ever really know if the feelings were genuinely female.

    Having said that, something very different and unexpected has occurred since I began to explore my feminine side over these last few weeks. Up till then, I thought of my CD'ing as nothing much more than a man playing dress-up for a few hours - often culminating in self gratification, instantly followed by a complete lack of interest in being dressed. This, I've learned on this forum, is quite common among some crossdressers.

    But, since I started to let Sigrid emerge, the sexual compulsion has dropped off considerably. In fact I've only felt the desire to touch myself once since I first saw Sigrid in the mirror a couple weeks ago. And afterwards, I still had every desire to remain dressed as Sigrid. That one experience was quite remarkable too - While standing at the mirror looking at Sigrid it was as if Sigrid was trying to please the male side. It was so much more like lovemaking than I may have ever experienced. If that was in fact a genuine female feeling, then I want to be a woman. Whew! Excuse me, I think I need to go get dressed up now.

    blasted thread - Damn you Kew!

    ~Sigrid
    Last edited by Sigrid; 04-28-2005 at 12:46 AM.

    I'll take the pink one.
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  2. #27
    Member Elysia's Avatar
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    male and female persona in everyone

    Great thread…

    I believe there’s both a male and female persona in everyone. In most people one of the two is dominant but the relative balance varies from person to person.

    Carl Jung describes these as the anima and the animus. I find Carl Jung’s theory fascinating but I’ll not go on about it. But if anybody is interested in Jung’s theory and wants to talk about, please let me know ‘cause I’m dying to discuss it… wrote a little about it here.

    Anyway… I think I’m someone with a balance closer to equal that most.

    I’m also reacting to the environment I grew up in. It included a particularly rigid and harsh concept of what a man should be like. In my family a man was supposed to be an emotionless machine. As a boy, cross-dressing was, in part, an act of defiance, though I always concealed it. Women clothes were like talismans that kept me from a dismal abyss.

    I do believe society is responsible for pushing people into extreme and unnatural gender stereotypes. I agree with ChristineRenee.

    Quote Originally Posted by ChristineRenee
    Men, in my opinion, have been brutally conditioned by society for decades...even centuries! So much so in fact, that half of our humanity as a human being has been socially conditioned right out of us since childhood. Men really do have the capacity to nurture, to feel emotionally, and freely express that to others, and to laugh and cry at the same time and know the reason for it. We are taught at a very early age in life to not be that way.
    I think this got particularly bad after the beginning of the Industrial Revolution. It was then that human beings really started being treated like cogs in a machine. The age of Imperialism and all the wars that came out of that also encouraged the brutalization of the human spirit. By the time I came along men didn’t cry they just killed and Charlemagne was only a fairytale.

    Still, as longs as there are women there’s hope for men and things might be changing.

    Quote Originally Posted by melissacd
    Recently, cultural norms have made it acceptable for women to express a very broad range of feminine and masculine characteristics. Men, however, are culturally locked within their masculine roles. Some, in the transgendered communities are starting to break through this barrier, however, I suspect it will be some time before that wall is knocked down.
    Melissa makes a good point. Though I agree it will take some time before current barriers are broken, it’s worth noting that historically speaking the change in cultural norms for women is very recent and that it came about because women fought very hard to bring it about, and they’re still working hard to reach equality. It’s not possible for one group to break out of a polarizing situation without also releasing their opposite number. One of the best ways to liberate ourselves is to continue to strongly support women’s rights.

    I digress… I tend to do that. Sorry… what was the topic?

    Oh yes.

    Female feelings, female thoughts, female desires? I aspire to liberate them in my life and everyone elses too. Maybe someday feminine feelings, etc. won’t be thought of as the exclusive prerogative of women and people will wear pretty clothes when they feel like being pretty. You never know, stranger things have happened.
    Warm Regards,
    Elysia

  3. #28
    a girl in training Jonien's Avatar
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    Smile Female feelings

    Hi I'm new to this forum well any forum come to that
    this the only one I can relate to I Have just been reading this thread and female feelings I don't I Just asumed Females Felt as diferant as thay looked , untill I reaiased after years of thinking I was a man as that is what was told I was and to act like one, well 60 years later after a clash of brain waves to the point of what is life if you can't enjoy it, I know i'v allways found excuses to wear my wifes undies like the washing still wet ect, It took this forum I came apon it by curiosaty and read some of the theads NOW I know what I am, Im ALIVE no more depreshion ok so my wallet has got a lot thiner as I have been shoping, shoping, shoping, as for feeling like a female I dont Know but I do now feel like ME

    Love you all for my new berthday

    Big Hugs Jonien
    Last edited by Jonien; 05-04-2005 at 03:15 PM.

  4. #29
    The true Drama Queen Kimberly's Avatar
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    There are psychological tests whether your brain works best with problems that women can do well in and men can do well in.

    Men = Logical thought, problem solving, visualising components/objects re: problems.
    Women = Colour perception, shape identification etc.

    I came out as roughly 50:50... and whether you read into these 'tests' or not, I believe that my brain is that - 50:50.

    It is not like I'm female one minute and male the next, it's that I am me, and always me... I am just more feminine than some of my male friends.

    I cannot truly say whether I feel feminine/masculine because I have nothing to compare it with... as human beings we only have OUR interpretation of the world to base our judgement on, so none of us will truly know what it is to be feminine. Our view can only be shaped by feminine things we see or hear about. As said by Sherlyn:
    Quote Originally Posted by sherlyn
    i think its the girl i seein my pics and societies rules that sez if i wear make up and female clothes therefore i am looked upon as a female therefore i feel like a girl
    And so my crossdressing is both an example of what I see that is attractive about women and femininity and also an outward expression of my feminity within me. Dressing just brings out the feminine side within me.

    [size=3]Hugs xx[/size]

    [size=2]"You don't have to be fat to be a lady", Sophie 2006[/size]
    [SIZE=1]"Hey, those are nice shoes, but they'd look better in my pants! ... I mean..." Robot Chicken, 2006[/SIZE]
    [size=1]"He's just said a word we don't understand! And he's won at scrabble with it!" - Eddie Izzard 1998[/size]
    [SIZE=1]"Head over heels is fine, unless you're in stilettos." -The Beautiful South, 2005[/SIZE]
    [size=1]"Forgive me. Let live, me." - Antony and the Johnsons 2005[/size]
    [SIZE="1"]"We walk amoung you..." TransAmerica, 2005[/SIZE]
    [size=3]THREAD SUCCESSFULLY HIJACKED[/size]

  5. #30
    StephanieCD
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    I don't have time to read this whole thread but I couldn't resist posting on a Kew thread.

    The first thought that pops into my head in response to your question...

    Mystique. Self-indulgence. Finding joy in one's self - an art often scoffed at by "men". And, oddly... power-envy. I once read an advice column where a woman said she hated sex because it made her feel like she was powerless; submitting. The writer responded that she should realize the crippling power her body has over the man's body - that she's not submitting but allowing, controlling, and then... *ehem* rendering flaccid. It's a sexual example but it applies to everything from walking through a store, to ordering drinks, and more...

    Synopsis: the mystique of finding joy in the power of being one's self is the embodiment of femininity. To me... right now... at this moment... from the outside, looking in.
    Last edited by StephanieCD; 05-04-2005 at 09:16 PM. Reason: typo-s drive me nuts

  6. #31
    Tiffany Lee Tiffy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah
    Hi Kew,
    Thats a very good question ..For me its internal the way a sad movie makes me feel ,the way i am aware of peoples moods ,allways ready to hug someones sadness away ,never being able to say NO to a friend in need (or in fact anyone as my GG will tell you)Kissing is another of my female traits .I love to kiss ,for as long as the other person wants (as long as they are a good kisser)Sometimes Tessa and i will spend the whole night just kissing and cuddleing ..This is becoming more abstract than Sherlyns reply but finally the most precious intermal female trait i have is wanting to look more beautiful everytime i dress up...xxx

    I agree, Very well written. I could not have done a better job.

    April
    no matter how much love we have, we can not feel it if we are not happy inside

    "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out, shouting "Holy ****, what a ride!",author unknown

    Women to me are gods greatest forms of beauty and art in motion.

  7. #32
    Phoebe Diana
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brandy_Marie
    Kew,

    Thanks for this one. I am sorry, folks, but this one might be long.

    Many of the posts already have hit on some of my feelings, but no one post has completely summarized it.

    Brandy Marie Devereaux
    My goodness, Brandy, I could have written about 90% of that post myself. Down to the nipples and the reincarnation (though I have not really speculated about any of my past lives). That's actually a little freaky.

    The only difference worth mentioning (and it's not small) is that I never thought (or think) of myself as a woman in a man's body. Just as a bit strange. I have never focused any of my issues down to being specifically about gender (though I would always concede that was a part).

    I'm not sure that makes sense, so I'll try to put it another way. If I were granted any wish, it would only fleetingly cross my mind to choose to be female. What I *would* choose is to be a shape-changer, and then gender differences are only the beginning of what I would explore. There's a whole lot of *other* out there, and I would like to know it all.

    On the original question of female feelings, thoughts, and desires, the only one that I would ever specifically put my finger on is that I dearly wanted to have borne one of my children.

    Phoebe

  8. #33
    Pixie Hollow's Vixen Katie Ashe's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Brandy, dear, your book should hit the best sellers list shortly , After reading more into the Q, I agree with many of you. It is hard to put feeling into words for me, I think you gals summed alot up for me though. Can I get a group hug

    Katie
    DK Productions LLC, Giving back to the Rainbow Community. Need a DJ, Every Song Has a Story, We Make The Memory

  9. #34
    Girly is neat! Cathe TV's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RachelDenise
    My female side is intertwined with my male side to some degree. Characteristics like caring, respect and understanding are not gender related but often ascribed to women. I have these feelings in my daily life and don't associate them with femininity. However, society does and that's when it gets confusing. For me, the female side is about my feelings about me, how I look, how I feel sexually and how I react in various situations. I think I relate better to women but that may just be my opinion. I am often disgusted with boorish male behavior, but have certainly done my fair share of it willingly and not just to blend in. Ah, the sweet dichotomy of life!
    [SIZE=4]YES!!!! Rachel gets it!!![/SIZE] <applause in background>

  10. #35
    Thankful To Be A GIRL!!! tgirlkari's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by KewTnCurvy
    Okay, you all share your makeup tips, post your photos, talk about how to create the illusion of a female form. So below the surface, what lurks that makes you feel female? What aspects of your person, beyond the obvious, make you feel female, make others' perceive you as female? I really want to know. Please be as honest and detailed as you can. Thanks, in advance, as always for your candor and willingness to share.
    hugs
    kew
    KewTnCurvy
    This is a good question I have never really given this that much thought before. First of all thank you for starting this post. How many of us is it just about the clothes? I think that for me it does go beyond to below the surface. There are many things that I like that are percieved as masculine but not that other girls dont like??? My Dad is a manly man and tried to make a man out of me of course I fought Him tooth and nail as men we are taught to be completely cold and hard in our cores, that blue is good and pink is bad,any show of emotion is unacceptable. Girls ( i think or believe) are taught how to be warm, careing, and nurturing, soft if you will. I cry at good movies and books, I like showing my emotions and I don't care if it's ok or not, when I feel something I want the world to know how I feel to share this with me. Pretty colors are far better than drab colors and prints properly used are always nice too. I like to hug and show my love for the people I care about and those I don't even know. It would be nice not to feel the pain or hurt that can be seen in someones eyes but I feel for them and it makes my heart ache for them and wish I could make it better. Seeing happiness in someones eyes almost makes me cry too I don't understand it, but it does even more if I know the whole story. I could go on and on and maybe I should
    but I won't bore you or any other girls. Girls are soft and pretty nice loving and all that is good about mankind. I dress as a man for work to be successful even though deep inside i loathe the image I am portraying even though needed its still a lie for under it all I'm a girl I like being a girl. I am not flamboyant nor do I over exaggerate
    my femininty thats not me and would also be a lie, I'm me only me but comepletely me
    in all my glory that I'm given whether I'm accepted or liked or not. Do I know how to
    play the be a boy game, of course I do I was taught.I was not taught how to be a Girl
    so I'm learning as I go and grow and continue to grow I will. I do not desire SRS I am a husband and father and I like being both I love my Wife and Children with all my heart and soul and do not wish to change any of this. I know I'm not a Female but I know that I'm a Girl and I am most thankful. Thank you for sparking this thought in me.
    I love you for this.
    Last edited by tgirlkari; 05-06-2005 at 01:36 PM. Reason: misspelling
    life with love will have some thorns but life without love will have no roses
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    Kari

  11. #36
    Before/after Stephenie's Avatar
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    i have always felt that something was missing in me. i now believe that the female part of me was so repressed that I did not know it was there. She has tried to let me know she is there and now that I am free to start to share this with my wife and start to express this part of me I feel more whole.

    I seem to feel more emotional and sensitive while dressed (not much yet, just panties all the time, more as the wife gets comfortable with this) I feel that it's ok to talk to her about girly things with out her thinking it strange. Though she probably would not have before she knew. but i always felt that people might see what was in me so I held it all back. I am slowly trying to make the two parts of me into one. though I like both parts now the I have Stephenie to help.

    Kind of makes it sound like a split personalty but I know that it's just different parts of me.

  12. #37
    Gold Member Julie York's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharon
    What lurks below has always been there for me, but it has only been in recent years that I have allowed myself to begin letting them pop to the surface, .

    Aye Karambaaa!

    A gaff would fix that.





  13. #38
    Math Witch Stephanie Brooks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KewTnCurvy
    Okay, you all share your makeup tips, post your photos, talk about how to create the illusion of a female form. So below the surface, what lurks that makes you feel female? What aspects of your person, beyond the obvious, make you feel female, make others' perceive you as female? I really want to know. Please be as honest and detailed as you can. Thanks, in advance, as always for your candor and willingness to share.
    hugs
    kew
    HI Kew!

    I'm responding before looking at others' responses.

    I look in the mirror and I see the wrong sex. It's supposed to be a woman looking back at me, not a man. I look down at my body and the shape and the equipment are all wrong.

    I'm now 47. For the last few months I've felt that I've reached the age where I can't have children, assuming I could be somehow magically changed into a GG. There's ZERO chance of that. Yet the sense exists and persists.

    I can't explain it. Imagine, Kew, you looking in the mirror and seeing a man. You can't explain what "female" is, but you know you are female and not male. It's all wrong.

    I've had waiters mistake my gender while in male mode. It hasn't happened more than a few times, but it certainly pleases me when it does.

    The twist is that I AM biologically male. I shouldn't feel female. It isn't Logical.

    So often I have the sense that I'm female. When I do, the flood of thoughts that follows is usually self-destructive.

    Hope this helps!
    Stephanie

    Mac - It really does Just Work

  14. #39
    Leisure Lady Vivian Best's Avatar
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    I can't presume to be more to the point than the posts to this thread. All seem logical, well constructed and to the point. What did strike me as I read the posts is "I wish it were possible for anti CDers to read these posts"! It would cast a whole different light on what we are made up of. Possible getting some tolerance and acceptance of us as caring humans instead of perverts.

    Vivian

  15. #40
    GypsyKaren
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    I guess it's a calmness and inner peace that I allow myself to feel. It's just difficult to describe or put into words.
    GypsyKaren

  16. #41
    Eileen1969
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    The Women in Me....

    I for one love being! I have always known that I do have a women in me!
    and its not about trying so hard to either pass as a women or perfecting this.
    I feel my feminine intuitions and know my female side! I feel female in my heart! and my thoughts are very strong with my nurturing side! As for my desires! I have many desires of passions within my body,
    Being is not an act for me and I know that! I really do appreciate your post and I could write a book on this girl! Bottem line " I Love The Women in Me!!!!
    and my name is Eileen Julie Victoria Amber~Lynn hug n kisses, stay sexy n free! xxxooo
    "Love my legs and envy them...."
    "Love is all I need....
    "Sexy and know it!"

  17. #42
    To my thinking, some men fit society's model of what a man is supposed to be better than others. Since we don't fit the model all that well, we crossdress. I am a caring person but I'm not supposed to be; I feel things but I'm not supposed to; I love but I am not supposed to... We are conditioned that these things are not manly so we imitate women to be able to express ourselves.
    Last edited by SissyPanties; 05-06-2005 at 06:10 PM.

  18. #43
    Michelle Josephine
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    You sound like someone I can relate to. I am a happily married (24 years) father of two wonderful women (ages 19 and 22) My wife somehow lovingly accepts me, and even encourages me by allowing me to dress at home. I constantly struggle with the feminity question, and just accept that I too have an appreciation for inner and outward sensitivity. I am so very new at this computer thing that frightens me. Would like to submit photos, but know so little about formatting and sending that I have avoided such things. this is only my third day onsite, and this is my first message to anyone, so please be patient, and kind. My awkwardness will diminish as I slowly strive to attain the skills to do this. Being a crossdresser is such a private thing, that it's good to converse intimately with others. I tried psychiatry, and the analyst said that there is little she could do for me, and that I was her first patient with this "problem." I can't help but feel that it's not a problem, but a sublime release from everyday stress and masculine persuits. My wife accepts that this is a part of me, perhaps what makes me so attractive to her( sensitivity -wise) I am rambling on and on. I'm nervous about this "New thing" and should just stop at this point, but would love to express my, and share your interpretation of our shared phenomena.

  19. #44
    Welcome Michelle Josephine!

    You are welcome here. I have some experience with computers. If you have a question, feel free to PM me.

    Sissy

    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle Josephine
    You sound like someone I can relate to. I am a happily married (24 years) father of two wonderful women (ages 19 and 22) My wife somehow lovingly accepts me, and even encourages me by allowing me to dress at home. I constantly struggle with the feminity question, and just accept that I too have an appreciation for inner and outward sensitivity. I am so very new at this computer thing that frightens me. Would like to submit photos, but know so little about formatting and sending that I have avoided such things. this is only my third day onsite, and this is my first message to anyone, so please be patient, and kind. My awkwardness will diminish as I slowly strive to attain the skills to do this. Being a crossdresser is such a private thing, that it's good to converse intimately with others. I tried psychiatry, and the analyst said that there is little she could do for me, and that I was her first patient with this "problem." I can't help but feel that it's not a problem, but a sublime release from everyday stress and masculine persuits. My wife accepts that this is a part of me, perhaps what makes me so attractive to her( sensitivity -wise) I am rambling on and on. I'm nervous about this "New thing" and should just stop at this point, but would love to express my, and share your interpretation of our shared phenomena.

  20. #45
    1-800-YOU-WISH Brandy_Marie's Avatar
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    The thing I've noticed most in this thread is that, while we all share a somewhat common bond in that we are transgendered (in one form or another), not all of us do it for the same reasons or have the same goals. Yet we all are still sisters. That's kind of a nice thought.

    Love,

    Brandy Marie Devereaux
    Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That's what little girls are made of; the hell with sugar and spice.

  21. #46
    Lady In Waiting Rachel Ann's Avatar
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    Great question, Kew!

    As much as I love dressing, it’s really a means to an end for me, to tap in to my female personality and “anchor” my feminine side. Each step of dressing and putting on makeup is another trigger to bring Rachel out. I’m getting better at having her be somewhat present even when I can’t dress.

    I am very much “bigender” (is that a real word?) – Rick and Rachel love each other like brother and sister, and need each other to be a whole person. (Stephanie’s words originally, I think.)

    Rachel needs Rick’s aggressiveness, loyalty, sense of duty and “moral flexibility” to “take care of business” in the world. Rick needs Rachel enjoy life and to be able to feel anything. Also, Rachel has much better personal habits than Rick and tries to keep him from killing himself by being the “bad habits poster boy”. And, she soothes him when he is angry or upset.

    One of my guilty pleasures in guy mode has always been liking chick flicks. Now I have Rachel to let me cry at a romantic movie or song.

    When I was younger, there was a sexual component to this for me, but that isn't really active any more. Far better to be an old lady with a lot of girlfriends than a lonely, bitter old man.


    Quote Originally Posted by fractlgrrl
    The twist is that I AM biologically male. I shouldn't feel female. It isn't Logical.

    So much of life isn’t logical, dear. What is logical is for us to accept ourselves as we are, and share these feelings with each other.


    Quote Originally Posted by fractlgrrl
    So often I have the sense that I'm female. When I do, the flood of thoughts that follows is usually self-destructive.

    Aww. If this helps any, psychologists say that “feelings never lie”. This means just that they are, after all, what we feel, and there is no right or wrong to a feeling. It’s just “raw input”. Now emotions, they are real tricksters!


    Quote Originally Posted by melissacd
    Some feminine, not specifically female, traits:
    Quote Originally Posted by melissacd
    - being sensitive to the needs of others
    - being a good listener
    - being supportive
    - being intuitive
    - being emotionally expressive
    - looking sensual, being sensual
    - being soft, yet assertive
    - having feminine mannerisms when you feel like it
    - creating warmth and comfort for those around you
    - being caring and compassionate
    - being creative with that certain girlish flair
    - having a sense of style
    - avoiding vulgarity as a communication style
    - carrying yourself with grace

    Not to split hairs, Melissa, but I think that most of these are not strictly feminine traits. Lots of men are good listeners, supportive, intuitive, caring, etc. without a whit of femininity. Also, I don't think that aggressiveness is necessarily a bad trait in a girl, as long as it is properly channelled.

    And, of course, women can also be bitchy, catty, scheming and controlling.

    Both genders have good and bad traits. We get to “cherry pick” the best of both!

    ---

    [size=2]I always thought that I was hip enough not to buy in to social myths about how I should be as a man, but that is easier said than done. Thank God for Rachel AND Rick! [/size]
    Last edited by Rachel Ann; 05-07-2005 at 02:48 AM.
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  22. #47
    Love being me stefanie's Avatar
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    i find myself to take on a personality change...really. Not just sexually. In drab, I think of myself as being very socially typically male....work, relationships, etc.

    When dressed, I seem to be more in tune with my feelings, emotions, relate better to other people's language, and overall feel more relaxed. Work, other pressures seem to be reduced (not disappear) as I somehow look at the world and relations differently.

    I have only come to realize this over the last year and am trying to actually blend my personalities to be more whole. Its strange, when i wear really girly panties, let's say, under my drab clothes, I can feel myself switching back and forth in my thoughts, communication and presentation. Even my gestures are more gentle or mixed....actually its been very refreshing..... I am doing this more often. I think its been a helpful reminder to not be so black and white and to break from years of traditional social development.

    don't know if this even pertains to the thread
    stefanie

  23. #48
    Silver Member Dragster's Avatar
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    Rachel Ann

    I think Melissa's list of what "society" deems to be feminine traits is prety accurate, and no doubt we could prepare a similar list of masculine traits. Neither list is natural, ie. we are not born with one complete list, or the other, depending on our sex at birth; we develop a personality of our own based on the natural instincts we were born with, plus the input of our education and role models we choose to emulate throughout our lives. It's no surprise then that we all display traits from both lists, it's just that we have learned to behave in ways that are a mixture of what "society" deems masculine or feminine. Most men display mostly masculine traits, and most women display mostly feminine traits; few (if any) will display none of the traits of their opposite gender, but equally there are some men who display more feminine traits than a lot of women, and vice versa, but are still perceived as having the same gender as their birth sex.

    The fact that "Lots of men are good listeners, supportive, intuitive, caring, etc." There's nothing wrong with that, but it DOES mean that they are displaying more than "a whit of femininity", but I suspect that these men are not seen as predominantly feminine, and probably not at all effeminate, it's just a part of their perceived gender mix, and they will not be seen as less of a man because of it. Unfortunately for us CDers, the feminine traits of enjoying wearing sensual fabrics, make-up, hair, clothing and footwear styles usually associated with women are not (yet?) acccepted by our society as part of the gender mix of a man, and many therefore see us as freaks.

    The list is artificial anyway. Different societies in different countries of the world, and at different times in history would have different lists. We can only hope that our society will come to accept our traits as part of the gender mix of men soon enough for us older CDers to take advantage of it! Somehow, I doubt it.

    I hope that makes sense.

    Tony

  24. #49
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    312

    Thank you, Kew.

    This is an affirming thread, and it is not easily answered. I assume you ask b/c you are trying to understand your sweetie better. Hope this helps.
    There are many superficial things that make me Feel feminine. Tonight, I put my hair in pig tails, for instance, and I feel fabulous! So, clothing, makeup, breastforms, etc. make me Feel feminine.
    But, there's an incredible difference between Feeling and Being.
    Things make me Feel feminine. They don't make me female.
    What makes me female is everything inside me that screams, "I can't stand being in this skin any longer pretending to be a man!" It's waking up on a Monday morning depressed b/c I have to behave according to that thing between my legs again even though it is not who I am. It's knowing that my character does not match my physical being while also knowing that I need to suppress my true Self to satisfy others who haven't the capacity to understand me. It's knowing that I can't wait to begin HRT in July. (I'm planning to start on the 4th!) It's feeling inner peace, joy, and relief when I am able to be Chrissy outwardly and openly.
    This summer, I plan to come out more in public and allow Chrissy to breathe. Next summer, I'm planning FFM surgery. In the Fall of '06, I plan to go full time. Feeling feminine isn't my goal so much as Being my true self 24/7. Of course, the former will result from the latter.
    Hugs,
    Chrissy

  25. #50
    Member Elysia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    US, Illinois
    Posts
    140

    A kinder gentler me

    Stefanie, I can really relate to what you wrote.

    Quote Originally Posted by stefanie
    Its strange, when i wear really girly panties, let's say, under my drab clothes, I can feel myself switching back and forth in my thoughts, communication and presentation. Even my gestures are more gentle or mixed....actually its been very refreshing..... I am doing this more often. I think its been a helpful reminder to not be so black and white and to break from years of traditional social development.


    There are positive qualities which I associate with femininity but which I’ve felt I could not express with my male mask. I created a female mask (Elysia) so that I could express them. These are qualities that I have always associated with femininity. I’ve always believed that society associated these qualities with femininity and forbade men to express them, but recently it has occurred to me that perhaps my inherited concepts of what is masculine and what is feminine have been more sharply defined than they ever needed to be.

    As I have experimented with integrating approaches that I think of as ‘coming from my Elysia perspective’ into my daily life—often aided by the gentle reminder that panties provide; they’re like a hidden talisman that keeps me in touch with my Elysia perspective—I’ve found that I’m a more complete person. I don’t think anyone is reacting to these changes by thinking of me as, in Governor Schwarzenegger’s words, “a girly man.” Don’t get me wrong, I would not expect a positive response if people knew just how I’ve arrived at this place in my evolution—no doubt ‘girly man’ would not be the worst thing I’d be called—but, in general, I’d say the world has responded very positively to the kinder, gentler me.
    Warm Regards,
    Elysia

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