Would you have chosen this?

[Julie York]

Inspired by a thread by Cleo Lane (royalties due) in the TS section.


Would you have chosen this for yourself?


What do you think you've learned by being in such a contradictory position?




For my part I have realised that you have a choice over your actions, but that your brain chemistry is pretty much hard wired when it comes to desire based on gender stuff. You're stuck with it and have to deal with it the best way you can.

Thank god I have an urge that isn't harmful to anyone and mostly not illegal.

[Kieron Andrew]

Inspired by a thread by Cleo Lane (royalties due) in the TS section.

its LEO!!!

[Deborah Jane]

Thank god I have an urge that isn't harmful to anyone and mostly not illegal.

Exactly!! There are far worse things we could be!!

[charlie]

I would much rather be working on my car, playing poker with the guys or attending a car show instead of wondering what outfit I will be wearing to the club tonight! I also must decide whether to do my nails, wear fake ones, and decide upon the color. No, crossdressing is something that has taken control of parts of my brain ...like an addiction. It is not what I really want.

[Wendy me]

Inspired by a thread by Cleo Lane (royalties due) in the TS section.


Would you have chosen this for yourself?

you mean like had i have had a choice to be what ever the hell i am ........would i have???? wow interesting ... if my life path was the same family wife and kids ... most likely not........single unattached and actually knowing who i was or going to be ..... i think i would ... see a clear path is easyer.........


What do you think you've learned by being in such a contradictory position?




For my part I have realised that you have a choice over your actions, but that your brain chemistry is pretty much hard wired when it comes to desire based on gender stuff. You're stuck with it and have to deal with it the best way you can.
Thank god I have an urge that isn't harmful to anyone and mostly not illegal.

interesting on the hard wired thought i believe that's true .... funny thing is them wires sometime come lose .... fall out .... or get crossed.... thats when the whole program goes to hell.........the what if's and were and who or what am i thoughts come in play ..... confusion ... panic and questioning every thing all comes back ... what was is not any more.... or more so it just might have ever been ............in the mist of it all as messed as it becomes it's your moving ... growing ... it don't make sense .... it's scary ...... and your OK shaken a bit but along for the ride..........

lol hold on it gets intresting...........

[docrobbysherry]

I would much rather be working on my car, playing poker with the guys or attending a car show instead of wondering what outfit I will be wearing to the club tonight! I also must decide whether to do my nails, wear fake ones, and decide upon the color. No, crossdressing is something that has taken control of parts of my brain ...like an addiction. It is not what I really want.

I hear that Charlie!
I remember the old days. When I used to watch sports, instead of CD.com, read the newpaper, instead of CD.com, and collect auntique bottles, instead of; shoes, dresses, wigs, bras, corsets, tops, skirts, bikinis, pantyhose, girdles, panties, oh heck, I guess the list could go on to fill the page!

So why can't I stop? I wish I knew the answer to THAT!

[deja true]

Would I have chosen this? You mean being a cross-dresser?

I don't think truly straight men would choose it. As much as many 'girls' here adamnatly protest that they're straight, there's gotta be a little something that's not quite "normal" (in the western,Judeo-Christian cultural sense) going on in there, whether it's natal brain chemistry or a very early age cultural conditioning. We almost all admit to being irevocably drawn to do what we do from an early age, most before puberty. It's not a choice thing.It's a fate thing. A fate that we are powerless to change.

And of those here (who may not be representative of CDs worldwide), you also won't get many who would give it up either, if they could. Hence all the heart wrenching threads on "ShouldI tell her or not...". Can't remember a thread that started "Well, girls, I'm outta here. I'm giving up dressing for good. My wife don't like it and I just don't need it." Maybe those are the one's who disappear from the forum. But maybe they just ducked deeper back into their closets after their divorces.

I can't answer for gay males (I mean self-described gay males, not ostensibly straight men like myself), but I think some do actually choose to cross dress for a number of reasons. But, it's not from the same irresistable, unchangeable desire that we alleged straight males do.

If I'm wrong here, please let me know, I'd really like to know.

respect & love (for all who embrace the inevitable, no matter why!)

[CharleneCD]

Exelent Question Julie.

For me I would have to say no. Why would any sane person choose to put themselves up for discrimination, persecution, and ridicule just to put on some clothes. And that is what it would be for the normal guy who did it. Just putting on the clothes.

For me it is so much more than that. It is not a lifestyle, it is a part of me that needs to be expressed. Yes I can choose to repress it, but having gone through the majority of my life doing just that, I know how messed up that can make you.

[Kate Simmons]

Pretty much my thinking on it Julie. I honestly can't imagine being any other way. Now that I've gotten somewhat of a handle on the feelings, I've found that the best thing to do is batten down the curls (as it were) and just enjoy the ride.

[shirley1]

no i definately wouldnt have chose to have these feeling/needs why would anyone in their right mind ! confusion, anxiety, questioning myself about things most guys dont even comprehend - but i am now slowly but surely starting to embrace it - i mean if you can get out you can meet some really nice people - and isnt there something good in the fact that you can express something within yourself that most guys will never have the know how or need to ever find out about - i guess we all have to just get to the stage where we just have to think its good to be a bit different - wouldnt it be a boring world if everyone was excactly the same ? nothing would ever change in society !

[Sandi jo]

I guess I would say no but I'm going to be this way for the rest of my life so I have to just accept how I am

[KittenKraske]

I would have to say yes. I feel like I have chosen this, in as much as I have chosen not to deny the woman in me her right to exist. I am VERY new to being Kitten, it is a very unexpected turn of events and I am certainly not settled in for the ride yet. There are many times where I question what I am doing, why am I so compelled after 29 years of not addressing the affinity I have for women, why now would I start to dress en femme, shave my entire body, out myself to my friends and family? Why is it that when I had never really put much thought into being a woman, or dressing as one before? Yet now after only three months I am willing to go out in public en femme, hell more than willing, it excites me to be as feminine as I can be and out in the world. I have my insecurities, my doubts and definately my fears, especially about being attacked by a bunch of redneck bigots while walking down a side street, but I can't let those feeling determine my path. I know that it feels good. I know that I am causing no harm to anyone, including myself. I know that I have learned more about myself in the last three months than I had in the last three years. How can it be wrong? I feel as though I am released from all the doubts and insecurities I had suffered as a man, as though I can now truly explore who "I" am. I want to say more but I have to run, perhaps when I return I will have more words...

Kitten.

[DAVIDA]

No. Nein. Nyet. uh-uh, nope, I don't think so!

[Daintre]

There is no way I would have chosen this. Heck I am scared of what I think I really am. I have lived with this for most of my life, it destroyed a marriage and in doing so, it affected my relationship with my son.

I look at my sisters and see their families, how happy they are together. I cannot be the "normal" man like their husbands are.

I have had a few talks with some members here who are transsexual, and I believe that is the path I need to take. I am afraid to start down that path, but I know I will.

[Angie G]

I hope I would have.
Angie

[trannie T]

Being a crossdresser is not something I would have chosen for myself. I enjoy dressing and going out and if given a choice don't know if I would give up crossdressing to lead a "normal" life.

[Erica Lauren James]

I'd have to say no. Although I am quite happy with myself as I am now. But if given the absolute choice in the beginning with what I know now, I would of chosen to be a F.A.B.

But thats not reality and I wouldn't change anything in the past because out of it all I got to amazing kids that I adore and adore both sides of me. So it's all good I suppose.

Erica

[ania83cd]

Knowing that this was a major factor in making my life miserable any sane person would say "I don't want this".
For many years I fought with it but then I just let myself go and it got easier but only for some time.
Now I'm back in square one as I can't dress and I really want to.
So even after all of those hard times I still believe that something really amazing will come of it and my answear would be "Yes".

[DanaJ]

I would say no - I do enjoy it and have come to terms with my CDing, but overall, if I had a real choice I would say no. For one benefit, I would have saved a lot of money Aw hell, who am I fooling? I would have just spent it on something else

[Nadia-Maria]

Many things may happen to you in life. Some good ones, other bad ones.
What happens to you is not that important.
What's important is how you act when things do happen.

Of course you might dream of the best things happening to you.
It's far more wiser to make happen the best from what happens to you, whether good or bad.

I strive for the best with my CDing.
And I am proud of myself being Nadia.

Hugs

Nadia

[Bravesoul]

Exelent Question Julie.

For me I would have to say no. Why would any sane person choose to put themselves up for discrimination, persecution, and ridicule just to put on some clothes. And that is what it would be for the normal guy who did it. Just putting on the clothes.

For me it is so much more than that. It is not a lifestyle, it is a part of me that needs to be expressed. Yes I can choose to repress it, but having gone through the majority of my life doing just that, I know how messed up that can make you.

This best descrips me as well, I would rather be doing lots of other things, but have to make the best of what I got.

[TxKimberly]

I'd have to say that "no", I wouldn't have chosen this. This is what I am and I'm gonna run and have fun with it but i wouldn't have chosen it.

What have I learned? To be accepting and tolerant of others. If I want people to accept me, I must be willing to accept things I don't like about them. It doesn't hurt that I was raised with out prejudice to begin with, so I didn't have far to go on this anyway.

[Cheryl Ann]

A week or two ago, I would have said no, I would not have chosen it. But I have gotten such friendship and support here that I am starting to lean to "yes".

Cheryl Ann

[susan2010]

No. I don't think I would choose to like womens clothes. It's caused way too many problems in my life, and I think, led me to a life of deceit and keeping things to myself. I'm not a very honest person; I've had to answer too many questions like:
"what were you doing in your moms/sisters room?"
"are these yours?? where did you get them?"
"did you take the Sears catalog?"
"is this for your wife?"
"you quit wearing my clothes, right? You don't do that anymore, right?"

Is this true for someone else out there?

[KarenSusan]

Thank god I have an urge that isn't harmful to anyone and mostly not illegal.

I totally agree with you there, Julie, and no I would not choose this for myself. Life would be a lot easier if every minute that I am not dressed as a woman I am thinking about being dressed as a woman,