Some of the recent posts on the "Dating GGs" thread got me thinking. It's so easy to approach the whole question of relationships with women as if being a crossdresser was automatically a liability--as if no woman would find a CDer desirable, exciting, or sensitive.
If you have a trait that no woman finds attractive, naturally you're going to be ashamed of it, and try to hide it.
The biggest problem with that is that I've found most people (this includes women) find SHAME to be unattractive. A person who is ashamed of something and hides it, comes across as ooky, devious, complex, and unapproachable. Not Gothically dark, but pervertedly scary.
A person who thinks they're a pervert comes across as a pervert.
Now what happens if we present our crossdressing to new people as something secret but exciting? Something positive, but maybe not something we are going to discuss with just everybody.
How might we do that, you might ask?
Maybe unlike most men, we're unafraid of standard gender boundaries. Call me gay, and I just laugh and say, "Well, not exactly" with a big grin.
Maybe we carry a purse. Wear some women's things now and then.
The week after Halloween we pass around pictures of ourselves en femme and talk about where we went and what we did.
That kind of thing. Get the idea?
Exude confidence. Show that you have fun. Let women try to figure out what makes you tick.
In other words, what would happen if we assumed that some women were looking for, or at least open to, a relationship with a crossdresser.
Couldn't possibly be true, right?
Hey wait, it is true! My wife Bonnie was looking for a relationship with a transgendered person. She found me and we're very happy together! There are a couple of single women on this very board who are looking for a CDer. Yes, there really are! I have known lots of women who have had relationships with CDers or TGs and want another one. Maybe they were just friends, and now they want more. (Most of them have found happy, exciting relationships with CDers, by the way. But there are new ones all the time...)
Now I'm not saying that every woman secretly wants a CDer. We know that's not true. I'm not even saying most women. I'm not even saying there are enough to go around.
But if you're unattached, maybe, just maybe, the woman of your dreams is dreaming of you!
Could it possibly be? Stranger things have happened!
Blessings,
Rikki