Anyone else from a broken home as a child?

[KayR]

Reading the responses made me weep. There have been hard times for many of us, haven't there?
Still, the overwhelming feeling that comes across is of acceptance and understanding. I've encountered this with many CD's. It is perhaps this aspect of our "feminine side" which enables us to accept the unacceptable and bear the unbearable. This is a very humbling thread.

[Syndi]

Yeah, my Mom and Dad separated when I was 9. I didn't start getting into crossdressing till I was 11.

[srinn]

My parents broke up when my age was a 1 digit. It didn't have much influence on me and I don't think it has anything to do with my crossdressing.

[RobertaFermina]

My parents divorced and my mother left at my age of 3+.

I was raised mostly by foster-parents.

Strict ones at first, then a few young couples...those didn't last long, and finally a down-home couple with easygoing midwest sensibilities.

I learned a work ethic, and what an "emotionally cold and competitive" foster-home among 4 siblings and 2 foster-brothers could be like, and I got to live like an only child for about 6 years to complete high-school and enter college.

My CDing is fueled more by my yearning to presence the beauty of my mother and sister, both ravaged by neglectful and abusive spouses/(step)Fathers.

The beauty of the most noble women in my family has been lost to them due to the crushing pressure of abuse, neglect, and their dysfunctional adaptation and survival responses.

At least, in Roberta, and my memories, and some private recesses of their souls, their glory lives on.

Roberta

[Stormgirl]

My mother died from complications of breast cancer when I was 13. Does that count as a broken home? Grew up as the only child and had only my father around, so I guess that is why I express resentment towards females for the most part.

[Rachaelb64]

My father left when I was 3months old. We got on on later in life until he died nearly 4 years ago now.

But I think my turning point was when my older brother went to live with my Dad and Stepmother when I was 6/7 years old.

This left me with my Mum and Stepdad and younger half-brother, and start feeling like an outsider, my crossdressing desires started a couple of years after this.

[jackie_p]

Reading the responses made me weep. There have been hard times for many of us, haven't there?
...

Kay:

I agree, it seems many have varied reasons for what we do. But I would just like to say that I think you are all beautiful people. When I listen to the evening news its not hard to realize that many people have much more destructive outlets for there problems. In our case, I think we not only have a harmless outlet but one that make us stronger, more understanding people.

God bless you all.

[KellyCD]

I came from a broken home as well....father went to prison for murder(no joke), mother was very physically and verbally abusive.

Now I'm married to a girl who is verbally and emotionally abusive...good freaking times.

[TxKimberly]

Morning Ladies:

I'm relatively new here so sorry for the nature of the post or if it covers old ground...

My father left when I was 6 and I started crossdressing around 9. Now my father was always around and still took care of us but I have wondered off and on whether my crossdressing wasn't somehow related to wanting to be more like my mother and less like my father?

Anyone else ever questions this?

Sincerely;
Jackie

Jackie,

Yes, my story is much like yours, and yes, there is no question in my mind that part of my motivation was the respect for the women that took care of me and disgust at the men that didn't. Somewhere on the forum I posted my entire story years ago. It will bore the hell outta you but gives some of the details related to your question.

It turned out all right in the end I guess - I may wear dresses but I still turned into a better man than any of those guys were. :-)

[Phyliss]

If by "broken" you mean divorce, or desertion, then no it wasn't a "broken" home. However, my mom died when I was 9. Now I had been off and on doing the "Sears catalog" looking thing for awhile by then, but to actually "wear something was beyond my wildest dreams. After she passed, Dad didn't cleanout her things, kinda kept it as sort of a "shrine" to her. Coming home after school and being alone for 2 hours, (one of the original "latchkey kids" from 1954) I had chances to "explore" Spent many an hour sitting in front of her dresser missing her and just staring at her things, never daring to touch anything. Her fragrence lingered in my mind. Over time I realized I could no longer smell it and something inside of me figured that if I moved her clothes around it might stir up some fresh scent. Reaching into a drawer I touched something soft and made of nylon. My world as I knew it was changed forever at that instant.

Scared, frightened, revolted, disgusted, embarrassed, intrigued, fascinated, compelled, delighted. You name it, I've felt it.

Today I am "satisfied" , will I want more tomorrow? Perhaps, perhaps not. Did her death "cause" my CDing? I don't know, neither does my therapist. We did figure out that "life stress" in my case, does contribute to my "dressing" more often.

[DemonicDaughter]

My mother died from complications of breast cancer when I was 13. Does that count as a broken home? Grew up as the only child and had only my father around, so I guess that is why I express resentment towards females for the most part.

At least you have an idea where it comes from. I was very resentful towards males in my teens and very early twenties. I ended up marrying a man much like my father. When we divorced I realized that I could not blame every male, just those that inflicted pain on me. I learned to channel a lot of my anger but there are times when I still have issues with men that act (and I mean ACT) overly "macho".

I came from a broken home as well....father went to prison for murder(no joke), mother was very physically and verbally abusive.

Now I'm married to a girl who is verbally and emotionally abusive...good freaking times.

As just stated above, we tend to stick with what we know. Most people of abusive childhoods will end up in at least one abusive relationship. Most of us marry someone similar to our original abuser. So sad.

[Sheena Pink]

Bre and I both come from broken families with abusive father figures. Some of the history that she lived though is heartbreaking.
We had to learn how to have a functioning relationship while we were growing up (we met when I was 16, I moved out from my mom's at 17). We had to learn how to love ( I don't mean sexually, that came easy), since we weren't taught anything about that.
Thank heavens we made it. I have my best friend/ girlfriend as well as husband.
Effective communication was a essential, but hard one to learn.

I read on a CD website that a large percentage of CDers came from broken homes, with something like 45% of the gurls having at least 1 parent with mental illness. Most grew up with their moms.
Interesting.

[sandra-leigh]

My family did a lot of fun and interesting things together, until my father died (disease) when I was 13. We stuck together closely after that -- we needed each other, and we all chipped in. My first crossdressing experiments were in my teens, and they were "I wonder what it is like to be a woman, to be treated as a woman?" experiments, not "I should have been a woman." Even back then I didn't think of "crossdressing" as such; I didn't think of it until I was in my early 40's and it was very sudden for me (though thinking back I can see that I was increasingly leading up to it in the few years before my sudden revelation.)

[KellyCD]

As just stated above, we tend to stick with what we know. Most people of abusive childhoods will end up in at least one abusive relationship. Most of us marry someone similar to our original abuser. So sad.

Yes it is, sometimes my wife acts EXACTLY like my mother. It makes me sick.

Although I am NOT like my father at all. My mother cheated on him and he killed the guy she slept with. When my wife cheated on me I didn't even yell at her much less kill the guy.

[easyCD]

Morning Ladies:

I'm relatively new here so sorry for the nature of the post or if it covers old ground...

My father left when I was 6 and I started crossdressing around 9. Now my father was always around and still took care of us but I have wondered off and on whether my crossdressing wasn't somehow related to wanting to be more like my mother and less like my father?

Anyone else ever questions this?

Sincerely;
Jackie

Totally, although in my case they both split (in separate directions). I guess that's what you'd call total abandonment. But just before that traumatic event, I witnessed them wife-swapping. My 13 year-old imagination thus fired up to a fever pitch, I delved into my Mom's underwear drawer. The rest, as they say, is history.

[Bonnie D]

My parents were very good people.

My father was conservative minded, was in the Canadian military starting from near the end of WWII until he retired. He was very calm, difficult to anger even though he might disagree, and even when he did get angry it was never physical. He worked shift work so he was not always home. He also liked to drink but nothing seriously.

My mother was liberal minded, was a teacher, and was the disciplinarian in the household. She was easy to anger but it came out verbally. She didn't like my father coming home from the club after having too many beers. Arguments arose but nothing serious.

I am the eldest of four boys. I began dressing at age 11 in my mother's clothes when no one was home, which was rare. I have never stopped.

My parents were both good looking and made a handsome couple when they were all dressed up to go out with friends to a party or dinner. I loved how my mother looked and would sometimes see her when she was partially dressed before these events. I wanted to dress like her. My father looked good too but I wanted to look like her.

I always paid more attention to the women in television programs, movies and all around. I wanted so much to be one.

My parents eventually divorced because of my father's drinking but that wasn't unitl I was about 17 or 18 years old.

My point here is that I don't think it was my upbringing that caused me to be transgender and my brothers and I had the same upbringing with me being the only one with gender dysphoria.

Bonnie

[Alandra]

I most definitely come from a broken home. My parents separated when I was 4 and divorced when I was 5. It was a bitter, nasty affair. In many respects "the divorce" is still alive and well with the bickering & political maneuvering and all of that. Makes me sick. Pisses me off. But that's a whole different discussion.

I remember the first time I dressed I was about 7 or 8 (going into 3rd grade? Something in there). This was 3 years after the most serious drama of the divorce blew over. One twist: My mom was irresponsible & erratic enough where my dad was awarded custody of my brother & I. So even though I grew up in a "broken home", it was my mother who was absent.

I once heard Dr. Drew talk about CD on Loveline. He said he was no expert in the field, but suggested that boys who grow up without a mother or a powerful female influence in their lives will often get into CD. They are attempting to be the female force that they lack. I don't know if I subscribe to this theory, but thought I'd throw it out there for consideration. I've never heard anyone on this forum bring it up before.