View from the "other side"

[Kate Simmons]

Well, it's been a week now since I've decided to voluntarily "retire" as being Sal. I actually did it prior to posting the "full circle" thread and if anything appreciate all the more being here with all of you folks and I know I can be honest about my feelings because you are all real people.

This is "terra igcognita" for me and actually required a leap of faith on my part to proceed mostly because I didn't know how I would feel about it all. The truth is, I feel great and even closer to all of you somehow because in this place we pour out our feelings , our hearts and our souls and I certainly do not feel like an "outsider".

The main difference being that this is something I have chosen to do and I feel I owe it to myself to get in touch with all of my feelings from a slightly different perspective. Actually, they are not "guy" ot "girl" feelings but my feelings as an amalgamated person who is in total control of how I choose to express them. In any case, I'm none the worse for wear and am really enjoying this.

I want to thank you all for continuing to be my friends and will continue to be yours. Being ourselves is what it is all about in any case and you folks have taught me a lot in that respect. Regardless of how things eventually work out in my personal life, I know I always have a "home" here with some of the greatest folks in the world.

[deja true]

Sal, you'll always be our favorite 'mentor', and always, always have a place here. Where else is there for 'gender outlaws'?

I know you've tried to explain a lot in the past few days, but how is your 'amalgamated' personhood different than the philosophical Sal we've known for a while?

We've read your musings and absorbed a lot from your calm rationale. How is your point of view different? We know you've been struggling to eliminate the duality of gender. Is your new perspective genderless? How did you get there?

confused and hopeful

deja

[harmony]

hello salandra!
although officially we dont know each other that well-beeing a roockie here as well-i feel like we are kindred spirits and its great to have you around.

[DemonicDaughter]

You know I love you!

[jill s]

I won't be rude and ask your age, but do you think that has anything to do with this change? I notice an older CD on the other major forum said something similar and hasn't been back for some time. The 40's seem to be a major crisis point for many of us ie. comeing out, going out for first time . Do you think past that the need may go away for some?

[Kate Simmons]

I'm just following a natural course, nothing special. A friend of mine from Ireland(who is a mefium) told me a few years ago that I was destined to become a genderless being. It kind of came out of nowhere and I took it under advisement, not knowing what to think because at that time I hadn't even started to balance my feelings and was still coming out of the "pink fog".

What does it mean to be genderless though? Does it mean you are an oddball fruit stuck in the middle with no feelings? Not at all, anything but. What it really means is that the full range of feelings is available as needed and basically you can be anyone you need to be at any time and no special trappings, disposition or mindset are required. If you prefer a metaphysical explanation, the yin and yang energies are combined with their full potential and utilization as needed and these energies keep the Universe in balance so order prevails and not chaos. No biggie really, just another program but one that needs regular maintenance for optimal functioning. It is really Enformy that makes the difference. Google that and you will know what I mean. In any event, the feeling is an incredible rush but what do you do with something like that?

I keep going back to Amazing Fantasy # 15 that contained the origin of Spiderman. I was an impressionable teenager when that came out in the Summer of 1962. The final words of that story were:"...with great power there must also come-- great responsibility!" This means that whatever abilities I may have or will have must be used for the greater good as I am merely a custodian. That goes for all of us my friends and we have a good head start. Never forget that.

[charlie]

What I find inspiring about you Sal is that you have found out who you are, merged the CD with Rich and now do not need Sal at all. How I wish to be able to bring all the genderbending together in one person again and not live 2 lives! I really wish I did not have to dress...but I do! You are both a mentor, hope and a direction. Thanks for sharing!

[Holly]

Sal, you're always here. I admire your approach to life. At this point in my life, it's not a path that is open to me as I am happily exploring the joys of femininity. But even this requires a balance and I have learned a lot about that from you... so thank-you, my friend. Best wishes to you .

[Andine]

Sal !

One of the things that sets you, and the rest of us apart from others is that:- We are branded with a mark of comittment that we made, when we first decided to accept ourselves as Cd or whatever affiliated thing we do is.

The strength of that comitment is still with you, perhaps doubly so, and that makes you a special person.

We all share this brother/sisterhood mark, and that overcomes other marks of comitment to a degree that sets us ready for new things.
The courage to go for the first outside trip solo, dressed, is usually a seriously frightening moment .... that changes you and brings confidence. You build on this and get more .... Its intoxicating!

Eventually you become comfortable with yourself and so others are as well.

In your case this is very true, and your job is to help others to reach this high level! We all thank you for your wisdom!

Regards

[vikki2020]

Sal, all the best for you. Please stop in and share your witty wisdoms' every now and then.Or just say Hi!SeeYa

[mike47]

It is always great hearing from you. I will hope that you will continue to give me and all of us such great advise.

[docrobbysherry]

I often have difficulty knowing exactly what I'm thinking at any moment. And I CERTAINLY don't know what I'm feeling at this moment.

Yes, I know what I WAS thinking and feeling, looking back in time. Like what I was feeling that time last week, or even some time last year.
But knowing what I am feeling now is not in my ability rite now. The CDing, pink fog if u will, has NOT helped ground me. Rather it has done the opposite. Sherry is confouding and confusing me!

Rich, it is wonderful that u have moved to a calm and understanding place, that the rest of us can only wonder at!
It DOES give ALL OF US hope that we will find the same centered, grounded place in our future!

[Angie G]

Sal I will miss you dearly hun all the best to you and visit us we love you.
Angie

[Stargirl]

You know what you are doing. Moments of absolute clarity are scarce in this world. But when they arrive, we have no doubt what they are. It does little good for lucid people to pretend it's something else. We know better.

[jessielee]

dear salandra,
like Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars?
teasing.
you are so very much in touch, that may explain the flurry of request for you to never leave us without your light!
thank you so much for feeling even closer to us.
i feel it too.
for, you aren't "retired,"
you are who you are.
already. still.
very much here
and now.
as we are striving.
all blessings,
with love,
jessie

[crusadergirl]

Sal your one of my favorite ppl on this forum you always seem to say the right thing. Even though i haven't talked to you much i will always respect you. The things you have said have helped me become a better person.
Your Friend Kirra

[Kate Simmons]

I borrowed this song title from C & C Music Factory as I've found myself doing strange stuff the last couple of days, well, maybe not so "strange." After shaving today, I naturally wandered to my makeup and picked up my lipstick until I realized what I was doing. Yesterday, I found myself thinking about how a certain outfit would go together(dress, wig, makeup). This is going to be tougher than I thought. No angst to it really but when you've done this as long as I have, I guess it just naturally became a part of me and now I have to think twice about what I'm doing. "HMM"

[shannonsilk]

I admire your ability to discover what you refer to as a new purpose. I have enjoyed reading your thoughts this last month or so. You have been able to put so many ideas into words that even I can understand.
I have gotten a lot of insight into at least one direction that
I can go.
I wish you well on your journey.

[sparks]

You've been there for me and I for you.
Besides Roy Rogers never would leave Trigger. Kinda hard for them now I know but you catch my meanin'
God bless ya Sal/Rich.