What type of women understand?

**satin_luva** · 03-23-2008, 06:20 AM

I was just wondering lately what type of women would accept a lover as a CDer. I'm 20 and sexually into women older than me (25-35). I'm not sure what kind of percentage of women in this age group would condone CDing in a lover. I assume not many. A recent post in the 'loved ones' forum said that only a handful of lucky men find a partner that will accept them and love them for who they are. Because of this I fear I won't have a decent run of a girlfriend for a very long time (with me satisfied, anyway).

**Shelly67** · 03-23-2008, 06:30 AM

I think theres a good chance most females would probably accept someone if they were at least treated with repect and honesty .
But , it must be an open , gentle , out coming ......and proceeded with caution in mind .
Just be you , don,t fake , and do,nt ever let youre fem side be discovered by accident .
And I think its only fair to say , if you do find a loving partner who accepts you for who you really are , be prepared for an emotional time , lots of questions , and never take her for granted . Give her the support she deserves and try to grow together .
Good luck.

**ShannonDragon** · 03-23-2008, 07:37 AM

I would also add that it helps that the woman has a lot of self respect and confidence in herself.

**Joanne f** · 03-23-2008, 07:41 AM

Originally Posted by mistress michelle

I think theres a good chance most females would probably accept someone if they were at least treated with repect and honesty .
But , it must be an open , gentle , out coming ......and proceeded with caution in mind .
Just be you , don,t fake , and do,nt ever let youre fem side be discovered by accident .
And I think its only fair to say , if you do find a loving partner who accepts you for who you really are , be prepared for an emotional time , lots of questions , and never take her for granted . Give her the support she deserves and try to grow together .
Good luck.

Yes i also think that is about right.

joanne

**tamarav** · 03-23-2008, 07:55 AM

[SIZE="3"]What you are doing is assuming that there are no real women that will accept you from what you have read and others have told you. You need to experience it for yourself. Each person has a different insight and their experiences will differ from yours. Just because a CD said something about their relationship does not make it your destiny.

Go on with life, explore and meet others. When the time is right and you feel the need to open up to someone, do so. If it turns out great, all the better. If not you will have added to your own experiences and will adjust your choices in the future.

Base it on real life, when a teen starts driving, they typically get tickets and maybe have an accident or more. As you get older and more experienced you learn to adjust to the circumstances. Sitting back making assumptions that relationship will fail, will make them do just that. When you are young you see others that have failed in relationships and simply assume that will happen to you. It may or it may not. Chances are good however that you will have some setbacks in life. Get in there and learn from any setbacks that occur.

OK, done preaching... [/SIZE]

**DemonicDaughter** · 03-23-2008, 07:57 AM

As a GG in the age range you stated and who purposely dates CDers, I think you need to keep a few things in mind first.

The above posts about being honest from the start, not making her discover it on her own (promotes distrust to have to "discover" anything much less a secret like CDing), etc. are all very good advice.

I would also have to agree with possibly seeking someone with a bit more confidence and independence.

I think the biggest factor for me is that I already live an alternative lifestyle. Most of the people I associate with live pretty unusual lives as do I. Because of this, I think many women who live in this fashion usually have a better idea of what being with a CDer entails. Or at least a better understanding of the difficulties involved with it.

You might want to start by looking for people with similar fetishes as you. Lots of women have lingerie or shoe fetishes. I love clothes and dress quite exotic whenever possible. I love corsets and gothic style attire. So yes, I have a clothing fetish and that's one of the reasons I find my SO extremely sexy when she's dressed.

We exist. We are out there. We may not be in large numbers, but we are there none the less.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

**Angie G** · 03-23-2008, 07:59 AM

All I can ad is if you find one go slow at her pace and always let her know how mush you love her Never let a day go by you don't give her A kiss hug and tell her you love her. And always make her feel she's a beautiful and loved woman. I've been with my wife 40 years (she as known 3 years) now that I dress and loves me for who I am and knows dressing is a pat of me I didn't just choose to do. And is a part of me. and finally doing some house work don't hurt ether hun

Angie

**bEEb** · 03-23-2008, 08:46 AM

The woman would need to be honest with herself and others. Absolutely forthright, consistently steady in thought and action. Have a nonmanipulative nature. Be dedicated to substance rather than superficiality.

Place the needs of those she cares for before her own. Have a willingness to share discomfort today for a better tomorrow.
It is unlikely that you will succeed in finding a woman with these qualities... and even less likely she will still retain them 10 years later. But I wish you luck.

**shalini_ukunge** · 03-23-2008, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by ShannonDragon

I would also add that it helps that the woman has a lot of self respect and confidence in herself.

Right on Shannon.

And DD the GG, thanks for the support and the tips.

I may also add that a GG who has gone through a rough patch in life and come out of it with her self esteem intact, will realize what are the more important facts of life.

And to all those GGs out there in a relationship with a CD (or contemplating one), statistically, a non-CD male is nearly three times as likely to cheat than a CD. And any betrayed spouse will tell you that counts for a LOT.

Hugs to all,

Shalini

**harmony** · 03-23-2008, 09:38 AM

over the years i have had the best results with bi-woman-especially the lipstick lesbo kind(the ones that dont want to look like men).the best way to meet them is en femme-so for that you have to be really out there.
the reason-best of both worlds for them!!

**SweetCaroline** · 03-23-2008, 10:17 AM

My current GG ladyfriend is 36 and she didn't know she was the "type of woman" who would accept a CD until she met me. But then again she didn't know I was a CD when we first met. We just decided to be friends first and foremost, which maybe isn't what you want to hear when your 20, but when you get older, and more interested in lasting relationships, is a necessity.

Try looking for a girl who is interested art or theater. Mine is a dance student. They might understand the need to dress and present yourself more as a femme. That's what worked for me.

**docrobbysherry** · 03-23-2008, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by satin_luva

I was just wondering lately what type of women would accept a lover as a CDer. I'm 20 and sexually into women older than me (25-35). I'm not sure what kind of percentage of women in this age group would condone CDing in a lover. I assume not many. A recent post in the 'loved ones' forum said that only a handful of lucky men find a partner that will accept them and love them for who they are. Because of this I fear I won't have a decent run of a girlfriend for a very long time (with me satisfied, anyway).

I think u should make up your OWN mind on the "kind" of woman u like.
To that end, U should be dating every woman u find even remotely attractive! Regardless of her age!

I promise u, if u do that, the "girlfriend" part of your life, will take care of itself!

**MarciManseau** · 03-23-2008, 10:54 AM

I've found that artists or women in the arts are far more accepting of girls like us. I've had three gg gfs who are artists, and they all loved it. My current gf Julie, the love of my life, is a writer and a graphic artist, plus she's also bi, like me, so we have lots of fun.

Hugs, Marci and Julie

**deja true** · 03-23-2008, 11:39 AM

Oh, Satin.... Maybe it's just my take on what you've written here, but this...

"... I won't have a decent run of a girlfriend..."

annoys me a bit. It sounds like you're "on the pull" and just looking for any woman that'll accept your CDing!

That's not how a real relationship is found! A true bond is formed with another by a matching of souls, not a matching of 'kinks'.

Look for an empathetic partner first, then, if the vibe is right, introduce the dressing aspect. Many potential partners may not even have an opinion or know anything about dressing until it is gently and thoughtfully introduced to them after forming a favorable bond first.

Read the many threads from SOs and GGs to get an idea of loving relationships that came about not because of dressing, but with dressing added.

Hope my point is read as sympathetic advice, not as a lecture...

deja

There's not 'type' of woman who likes CDs. They are all different, just like we are.

**LilSissyStevie** · 03-23-2008, 11:51 AM

I'm not sure what kind of percentage of women in this age group would condone CDing in a lover. I assume not many.

You only need to find one. I never had to "confess" my CDing to my current wife (of 14 years) since she knew from the start that I was a little weird. Besides, she's a little weird herself. Looking back, I never had much trouble finding women that were into my various kinks. They're all over the place. Just be yourself and they will find you.

**Amy Hepker** · 03-23-2008, 12:30 PM

You have to be HONEST and OPEN with GGs.

**Shelly67** · 03-23-2008, 01:01 PM

You should be honest with everyone really .......
shouldnt you ??

**Jilmac** · 03-23-2008, 01:42 PM

I can't say if there is a particular "type" of woman who accepts CDers but I also agree with the other girls that you have to show respect, honesty, and most of all, dignity. Show her that she is foremost in your life and when you reveal your feminine side, do it slowly and with finesse. I was married twice and told each one before we ever tied the knot, that I was a CDer. Neither one accepted my dressing but married me anyway. My wife recently passed away and I met a woman who I started dating in Oct '07. We both talked about our past and both admitted we each had a "dark side". when I told her that I was a crossdresser, her answer was "well at least you're not a serial killer". She's not ready to meet Jill yet but is taking baby steps in her acceptance, and our relationship is going strong. Hang in there and don't push your fem side on anyone, but at the same time, don't let them discover it for themself. Luv and

Jill

**DemonicDaughter** · 03-23-2008, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by SweetCaroline

...Try looking for a girl who is interested art or theater. Mine is a dance student. They might understand the need to dress and present yourself more as a femme. That's what worked for me.

Originally Posted by MarciManseau

I've found that artists or women in the arts are far more accepting of girls like us. I've had three gg gfs who are artists, and they all loved it. My current gf Julie, the love of my life, is a writer and a graphic artist, plus she's also bi, like me, so we have lots of fun.

Hugs, Marci and Julie

You know... this might be true. I'm an artist and most of my friends that are accepting of this are in the arts as well.

**Melanie R** · 03-23-2008, 02:30 PM

Women who are better educated and confident with their own femininity and self-confidence are able to accept a partner who is a CD. They may be able to see beyond the clothing worn by their partner. The woman loves her partner unconditionally based on her trust and confidence in her partner and their relationship. She also needs the assurance that her man is not going away.