What to do?

[CrossdressinGoth]

Well my home life sucks as some of you may know. Parents are very closed minded and hate all who are like us in the world. I had some really bad problems happen at home last night and my dad said I had until the end of the month to get out. Now its changed but he wants me to think and tell him what I need to do that will truly make me happy.

I've opened up to the world that Im a crossdresser, looking into if its more then really crossdressing, but Im still closed about it to my family. They have disowned family in the past for really dumb things, this would be towards the top of the "bad things you can do" list for them so if they are told, I'm most certain I will be kicked out of the house for sure. Lose my job, and have no place to stay.

I have a lot to think about with this but one thing I was wondering, should I take this time to actually finally come out to my family, who will then think I'm a freak and want nothing to do with me (about a 99.7% chance of happening) or do I figure me out more first and then tell them at a later time if necessary? I dont know what I should do

[Bev06 GG]

Hi there,

Well its very difficult to know how to advise you because you look very young and I am not quite sure whether you are old enough to leave home. However, if home life sucks that much I would take your dads advice and start thinking about what would make you happy and then start planning for the future.

Home life always sucks when your young and still living with parents. Unfortunately one of those things that we all have to go through before we come out the other side. And whilst we live under some body else's roof we have to tow the line so's to speak.
Bev

[jessielee]

dear Goth,
please slow down, observe this for a while.
especially since it seems they have other issues with you. no need to fan the flames.
if i were in your shoes, it would be less about being disowned than about loss of relationships.
my step dad never told me to never find or have relations with my father. though, third hand, he made sure i knew how hurt and disappointed he would be with me. i owe him so much. appreciate him so much. but he's wrong about this. so i spare his feelings and enjoy my father's presence in my life behind his back. I'm a big girl. i emotionally chose to do this for good reasons. its tough you're under their jurisdiction. i hope you can build your family relationship and enjoy peace. each of us have to make our own decisions there, but some things might be more important than being out openly, at least until you can live in another town supporting yourself.
i wish you wisdom and peace, dear.
jessie

[Helen MC]

Get out of the parental home fast if you can do so at all! Now why should you lose your job if you are a good employee? Can you not lodge with a co-worker or is there no programme in your town for displaced youth? Now one body that may be able to help are the "Gay" organisations as while you may not be a homosexual they have years of experience with young men who are turfed out of the family home when they come out.

Good luck and keep us informed how you get on.

[Nicole Erin]

Sounds like your parents can't make up their minds about how they feel.
If you ever tell them you are CD, do not do it while living in their home or as long as they are paying the bills. Wait til you are independent.

[Kayla Shadows]

If your positive that you would get kicked out I would wait on telling them.And if your unhappy at home I would get things in order and have a plan to get out on my own as soon as it is reasonably possible.Living with the parents takes the fun out of everything

[Daintre]

Until you are clear in your own mind of the road you must travel, I don't see how you can explain it to your parents. I think you need time to reflect on what you think is happening. Being a CD is one thing, but if it is more than that, you need to know what it is first. I certainly wish you well in your discovery, and i hope that your parents can ease up and give you the needed time.

[CrossdressinGoth]

Thanks girls for all the support so far. I've done a lot of thinking and talking with my dad. I told him that there are just little perks in my life that I can't do anymore while living here and that its keeping me from being myself and being happy. I did not tell him I crossdress. He said he understands. I also told my dad that I think its a very good idea for me to get my own place because there is a lot of stress here. Each day its basically a 4 vs me battle. I have an older brother and sister that live at home yet. I'm 22, I moved out of the house when I was 19 and got engaged. That relationship ended horribly which is the only reason I had to move back in. I was left with no money and no way to support myself where I was so I ended up having to quit that job and move back with my parents to get regrouped and try to restart my life. The time is now. I agree with many that it wouldn't be a good idea to tell them while living here, and also wait until I know what it is I want for sure. The last few months being here, I've been wanting to dress every single day but I can't because for one, my friend is holding onto all my stuff for me, and then around here I wouldn't be able to do it except at night or during times in which no one is home, which is very rare. My mom doesnt have her license, along with my 27 y/o sister. My brother works with my dad and works been slow so he's home working on his race car a lot. Britney is losing attention and I hate that I cant be her. I simply told my dad that I think it will improve the quality of life for myself and everyone else if I moved out again on my own, plus I'd be much closer to work. So now I search for an apartment and hopefully I can get the ball rolling.

[Stargirl]

It's hard to grow in a rootbound pot. A private life pod is a wonderful thing to have. Master/mistress of your own little life pod. (with plenty of drawers, and closet space)

[Angie G]

Before you do anything you must get you ducks in a row hun. Make sure you have somewhere to go if you must leave home and support yourself. until that day comes you will have to tow the line at home Goyh It mat not be any fun but living on the street is alot less fun.
Angie

[CrossdressinGoth]

Definitely gonna make sure I have a place before I up and leave here. My best friends friend lives in her truck and she stays at the parks a lot until she gets kicked out from the cops I feel bad for her having to live like that. I'm going to make sure I get into a place and have a lease signed before I leave here so I wont have to worry about things as much, I'm hoping by June I can have my own place, omg is it going to be fem'd out sooo bad lol.

[sterling12]

Yes, your 22 and that's old enough to be out on your own. Time for you to start figuring out the person that you are...and, the person you want to become! You probably can't do that under your parents roof, too many influences that will keep you from really examining and testing yourself.

If you can swing it, get an apartment and learn Independence. Try to avoid jumping into a relationship and learn how to live by yourself. It will do wonders for the "self-examination" thing. And, you have the added bonus of feeling that you can stand on your own two feet. If your not dependant upon your family for monetary or emotional support, you can gain oodles of self-esteem and self- confidence. It's a good trade...no?

You seem to write fairly well, you can express yourself, and you probably have a lot more assets that you realize....time to start finding out what they are. Welcome to adulthood!

Peace and Love, Joanie