I've been coming to this site for 3 years now (ever since I decided to accept my crossdressing) but as we all know, just because we accept ourselves we can't always predict the effect that "coming out" will have on others. Sometimes it's best to keep some things in our lives private. This is how it's been in our house regarding my crossdressing and my wife Marla's son Anthony. We figured that him knowing wouldn't actually add any value to his life ... only ours, so why tell him if he doesn't need to know?
When I first married Marla he was 12 and so we didn't think it wasn't a good idea to tell him that his new step Dad was a crossdresser. We didn't want to impact his life any more than it already was ... what with me entering his life without him having any say in it. Anyway, the next couple of years we (btw, Marla is very accepting of my crossdressing ... ok ... I admit it, she actually likes it! We met on a CD forum. She wants a crossdressing partner and she describes herself as "trans-amorous") .... sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, so over the years we continued to "develop me" and tried to make my presentation as feminine as possible while still maintaining the "hush hush" of it all.
My "development" and "progression" that both Marla and I have cultivated continues on to this day and that Marla and I are 2 of the 4 founding members of the River City Gems a new Sacramento Transgender Support Group. This has lead to some very challenging moments when it comes to "getting me in and out of the house" to go out shopping or to go to socials, parties and events, etc I can tell you! I've even had to climb out of the window dressed in a short skirt and heels on two occasions! I'm being totally serious!
Anyway, last week when we pulled into the driveway after we had come back from one of our River City Gems crossdressing socials, Marla said to me: "Oh God, I'm so tired of all this cloak and dagger stuff. I'm damm well going to tell Anthony tomorrow! I don't want to hide this part of our lives anymore. I'm proud of what we are doing with the Gems and I think we should be open about all of it. "Gulp!" .... I thought. I said "err ... ok, but please do me one favor, just tell him how it really is. Be sure to let him know that you were involved in CDing before you met me, tell him how we met, and tell him the truth about how you dislike regular guys, how you like a feminine partner, and how you think crossdressing is fun, ok? I don't want him to mistakenly think that you are a wife who has to "put up with" something you don't want or like because that is not the case. In other words, if he takes it badly I don't want it to be just me who's the bad guy,ok?". She said "don't worry, I'll tell him everything, including that I like it".
Several times the next day at work I was thinking about it, and wondering how the conversation that Marla was having with Anthony, was going. I got home and immediately asked her what happened. She said that she told him out right that I was a crossdresser, and that we are founding members of a transgender social and support group in Sacramento called the River City Gems. She also told him that we often like to go out in public with me dressed as a woman of my own age. She said that she told him it was all about gender expression and that I wasn't gay, and that I wasn't going to have a sex change or anything like that. It's "just crossdressing". If he didn't want to see it or have anything to do with it that's fine, and it needn't impact his life anymore than it already is now, except for the fact that he now knows why we go out so much and what we are doing.
He was pretty cool about it really. He said, that he kind of knew something was going on because, as he put it: "... the ton of books in the computer room all called things like "my husband wears my clothes" "sex and gender" and someone's husband who is called "Betty"However, he thought we were moderators of a vegetarian website or something like that (yes, we're both vegetarian). He said he didn't want to see me dressed and he doesn't want his friends to know and that he's not going to tell anyone. Awesome! ... I thought ... that works for me!
So now, apart from the neighbors peering out of their window when we leave to go out, it's all plain sailing for us (we hope). No more sneaking in or out of the house and Marla having to distract Anthony while I run to the car or bedroom. No more changing the subject when he comes into the kitchen. No more closing the browser if he walks past and looks at the screen ... and of course, much less stress for both of us. Marla even joked: "... now at Christmas time when we are all opening presents together, I won't have to keep most of yours back to give you privately. I don't have to hide the fact that I've bought you a cute dress!"
Has anyone else had "a good result" when it came to telling their children, family or friends?
P.S. ... sorry about the long and boring nature of this thread. I just thought some might be interested.
with it.
jk
Merry
Originally Posted by Rachel Morley
