I agree, labels can be confusing and even counterproductive to gaining a genuine understang of ourselves and who we are.
That said, sometimes a label can help us find information that is illuminating, and even (as in the case below) comforting.
I just came across the term "
autogynephilia" and -- after reading Wiki and many of its links, (
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autogynephilia ) it appears I show all the attributes of "transvestitic autogynephilia." Okay, that's a real mouthful, but within that self-diagnosis I've discovered that what I once thought was a dark and freakish affliction has a name, and that I am not alone.
I showed the wiki link above to my wife, who knows about my x-dressing and who goes back and forth between reluctant acceptance and scorn/denial. When she didn't balk but seemed almost interested, I sent her this source link:
http://www.autogynephilia.org/origins.htm ...and then explained to her where I fit in (i.e., that I have no desire to dress in public, and certainly not undergo sexual reassignment surgery.) I also told her what I thought "triggered" it (happened a few years ago--another story).