Ever since coming out to my (now ex) girlfriend, and talking to her about this, gender issues and the issues society seems to have against men wearing skirts and heels etc, I've been thinking really in depth about whether there will ever be a utopia in which no one cares what people wear and base their judgements on personality...
Sorry if this gets confusing, but...
I find it incredibly difficult to understand why people find men in skirts and heels strange. To me, yes they are feminine, but logically they are just clothes. And so people who have no real concern with the feminine or sexual aspects of some crossdressing shouldn't really be bothered with what they see a man wear. I myself long for the day where I can just get up in the morning, have a shower and then slip on a shirt and jacket, ready for college, but instead of trousers put on a nice pair of tights, a black pencil skirt and a good pair of 3" heels! But if I did that, I'd be gay, wouldn't I? (note the irony.)
But then I got thinking, and wondered, what was it that attracted us to women's clothes in the first place? From my own experience, I wanted to be a girl from the age of about 2 till the age of 5, (I think I still wonder about it, but have realised there is no miracle cure to change my gender. And I don't want to have the surgery.) But then this feeling of wanting to be the opposite sex changed into a sexual implication of wearing female clothes, and this is what drove me to crossdress in my later life. I crossdressed when I was very young, again about 2-5 years old, but it was never with the lust or sexual intent I did when I was 14 or 15. Now, my dressing has evolved, and I am about to step into the next phase of my dressing life, in which I go full out girly... Bras, panties, tops, jackets, skirts... everything I don't have yet. (I have shoes and skirts, but that's about it.) I suppose what I'm trying to say, is that I'm confused about whether I dress to be feminine, and get a sexual thrill from it, or whether I dress because I choose to and because I like female clothes better than male clothes. I think it's a bit of both personally.
But back to my original question: What attracted us to the clothes? Was it to become feminine? ... But then we come slap bang into the brick wall of "women's clothes will ALWAYS be women's clothes," and the realisation of the utopia of acceptance I described will never be. Or is it because we choose women's clothes over men's clothes, and we have the idealogy that clothes are clothes and do not imply our sexuality or gender? If it is the latter, then society should not have a problem and I should be able to whip that skirt on first thing in the morning...
And thus is the problem inside my head. I fear that crossdressing will never be accepted because masculine and feminine will always be polars apart, but do compliment each other - man and woman. There will never be an in between, that I have heard a few speak of. The Native American "Third Gender" as I have read of somewhere...
Lost somewhere in this splurge of a question is my true problem... Somewhere. Do we dress because we want to be "girls"? (in any loose sense of the word...) That is the comment that I want to follow... why we dress, and what implication does it give to society, and namely to your life?
A good friend said to me a few days ago, whilst reading Sugar magazine, (teenage girl pulp gossip,) "Did you know, men actually look better in skirts and heels than women do!?"
My thought was: So why don't we wear them??
My comment was: My god, what is that world coming to??
I apologise for the rant... Some thoughts on the subject would be nice.
As a quick answer to my own question - I truly don't think any of us fully understand why we dress... we just do, because it is an "urge."
Think happy thoughts
All my love xxx