Out at work!

[CrossdressinGoth]

Well today I was at work and over the last week or so I've been telling some people that I dress. A few that I told I knew it would only be a matter of time. Well today I was looking for something at work and needed to be on the tips of my toes, my supervisor came over by me and said quietly to me, "would it be easier if you were wearing high heels?" I laughed and said can I go to my car and get my new ones I just bought before work? We both laughed and then she said to me that she knows and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it. So we talked a little about it and I asked her if she wanted to see my new shoes, she came to my car on break and she loved them lol.

We talked about things and I told her that I do have to be a closet dresser at home due to my parents, but once Im out of there I planned on dressing more full time. I also told her that I've been wanting to talk to her about this for some time but never could find the best time to bring it up, well today was that day. I told her how much I dress, or should say want to dress and that I feel my length in time at work more then shows my ability to perform my job very well. Now I felt was a time to actually be me. Not dress at work just for looks or to "shock", but to simply be me. We agreed that it would be better to slowly work things into the work place and see how people around me react to make sure no problems arise from anyone. She agreed that she herself would have no problem with me wearing womans pants or capris during summer, womans shoes, tops, and even makeup. Of course this will be a stretch in time to make sure I don't overstep my boundaries with comming out at work but its happening. Everyone in my factory area knows and so far not really any bad reactions

I'm really hoping by the end of summer that I will be able to have the ability to dress 100% at work and thats the greatest thing in the world for me at this point in time. At least something is turning around to good luck for me lol. Well just wanted to share this with you girls.

[Lora Olivia]

Well if you are coming out to more and more people then I would think there is a high likelyhood of you parents hearing this...better tell them first

[Kris]

She agreed that she herself would have no problem with me wearing womans pants or capris during summer, womans shoes, tops, and even makeup. Of course this will be a stretch in time to make sure I don't overstep my boundaries with comming out at work but its happening. Everyone in my factory area knows and so far not really any bad reactions

At least something is turning around to good luck for me lol. Well just wanted to share this with you girls.

I think this is wonderful news and I am thrilled that you are so pleased with the result. I just have to wonder though - who is your boss to tell you what you can and can't wear to work? OR how quickly you change your typical dress? As long as you can preform your job and there are no safety issues involved, I believe by LAW it is her job to be sure you don't suffer any harassment from your fellow employee's. As far as customers, you just have to deal with the hand you are dealt. I just really think this is SO not fair that she is telling you what you can and can't wear, and what she "finds" acceptable.

Best of luck for you though and I am glad you are happy!

and ,
Kris

[sandra-leigh]

I just have to wonder though - who is your boss to tell you what you can and can't wear to work? [...] I just really think this is SO not fair that she is telling you what you can and can't wear, and what she "finds" acceptable.

Wisconson is not one of the states that recognize "Fair Dealing" as an exception to "At-Will Employment". It recognizes "public policy" exceptions, but Wisconson is not one of the few states with a public policy banning discrimination of transgendered people. Wisconson does recognize "implied contract"

Implied employment contracts are most often found when an employer's personnel policies or handbooks indicate that an employee will not be fired except for good cause or specify a process for firing

So, unless Ms. Goth happens to have a written or union contract that specifically says that firing shall only be "for cause" and spells out those causes in such a way that "causing a disturbance by wearing inappropriate clothes" (or similar grounds) would definitely not be grounds, then legally (we're talking US law here, not other countries!), legally the supervisor's reaction could have been "You're fired!" along with an escort off of the company premises. In an "at-will" employment situation, reasonable negotiations with a supervisor are a good thing! They are a statement that "as long as you continue to do good work, and you help us by easing this idea amongst the company personelle instead of shocking the troops with sudden big transformation, then we would be glad to have you continue to work here." It forms one of those "implied contracts" I referenced earlier.

Now if Ms. Goth could somehow subtly get something in writing... But short of that, she could protect herself by documenting in a journal what she wears, and then if they were to suddenly fire her for crossdressing, she could produce the journal and say "But look, they didn't object when I wore this and this and this, that established precedent; and in fact they gave me a good work review during this period, thereby demonstrating that my clothing was not a factor in my ability to work successfully for the company..."

[CrossdressinGoth]

Thanks for the responses so far.

Lora, the idea of my parents finding out about me due to me being more and more open with this is by far a good possibility. I'm choosing to not tell them because if I do, I will be out of the house with nowhere to live. My family is very private and does not like to do much with society. They keep to themselves. The odds of my parents finding out directly is very small. Other family members finding out about me is a good chance, but if it happens it happens. I just don't have any intentions of sitting them down and telling them about me with this. I'm sure for the last 10 years they caught on I'm a crossdresser. Seems its more of a "he doesn't say it so I'll just pretend he isn't one" because I know if I flat out said it, all heck would break loose. Hope this explains it a bit and I really appreciate your concern over the idea of them finding out


Kris I see what you mean. Looking at how I typed this up I see I should have explained this a little more. The idea of me talking with my supervisor was to figure out the best way to dress at work without causing a "shock effect". It wasn't so much shes telling me what I can and can't wear, more so that it would make things less likely to cause other co-workers to be extremely discomforted. By my being open about my dressing and slowly transforming to that, it would hopefully bring with a more successful acceptance of my peers at work, then to show up all dolled up one day. There are many things to consider and we both felt this was the best option. Now to a degree she did tell me what I can't wear though. It is company policy to not be able to wear skirts, heels, etc. She just wanted to go over with me the female side of the dress code and to make sure that I would abide by those as well. Now being the first open crossdresser at my work place, there are a lot of unknowns as to what they may consider allowable vs non allowable. It takes a few complaints for them to simply say "stop dressing or we will have to remove you from you position". That would be the only logical reason for me ever getting fired for dressing. If it were to cause an extreme discomfort in employees to work with crossdresser, they would first have to sit down and talk to me about it, ask me to either tone down or simply not do it, then if I refused it would be removal of job. That is the way company policy is with were I work and I get along very well with my supervisor, shes been very kind and is working with me to make it a "win win" situation. Hope this explains a bit more in depth

[AmberTG]

Wisconsin's non-discrimination laws do not include any language for "gender identity or presentation" so working with the supervisor on the presentation issue is a smart thing to do. If Ms Goth's presentation became disruptive to the other workers she could probably be fired regardless of her prior work history. It would be best to take it slow so as to have the least impact on the co-workers. That's also the best plan for transitioning at work, which is something I have to start doing. I work in N.E. Wisconsin and have checked out the official non-discrimination laws in Wisconsin. Actually, my work place is probably about 100 miles north of Fremont.

[tina jayne]

hi there don:t get to carried away by thinking every one will accept you people can be evil they say one thing in front of you and a different behind your back ,and if i was you and you are coming out more and more you must tell your parents because if you don:t somebody eles could ,and then where would you be ,if it that hard to tell your parents perhaps you should find a place to live .and go from there .i dress at home i sometimes go out dressed but if i was doing what you are doing i would have to tell my family like it or not dressing cost my first marriage so please think and be carefull bye for now

[Angie G]

That's great hun I'm so glad for you. Lucky girl.
Angie

[CrossdressinGoth]

Well I know one thing, work seems to be a GLBT friendly place to be. There are many open about their sexual orientation and stuff at work and they don't seem to hold it against anyone. I know crossdressing is different, but in all honesty, I see it like this, no matter where you work they will do what they want when they want if they want to get rid of you. So as far as the dressing goes, as long as I follow the dress code, and I don't wear anything distasteful I should be in the clear.

Now with coming out to many, I am out to everyone except my family and I'm keeping it this way. If they find out they find out. I know enough if I flat out told them they would drop the hammer on me. If they hear from an outside source, they would either ignore it because I haven't told them, confront me, or simply not believe the other person. My family shelters themselves in the country, they only deal with who they have to when they have to. They really don't do anything for fun and in all honesty they don't really have any friends, to be honest, I would say my dad has maybe 4 or 5, my mom has the friends my dad has so the odds of them finding out from someone else is drastically reduced, unless a family member like a cousin were to see me in public and say something. In that event I would then come clean to my parents only after they talk to me first on it. Its only going to make my life a living heck if I tell them, living with them or not. Im very close to being out on my own so soon enough I should have my own place

Thanks for the support and concern, means a lot to me and helps me look at things a little differently. I have some ideas of possibly going to our works HR and having a discussion with them but at this time Im not sure if it will be nessecary.

[Sally24]

Congratulations! A very big step on a very long road for you. Be safe and take it slowly, enjoy the ride but don't push too hard on the gas.

[Seville]

Please keep us posted as the events unfold.

Things have REALLY changed for the better in the last few
decades. I can remember when a co-worker wore a
Puka Shell (remember those?) necklace to work
and all hell broke loose.

As I said, Interesting!

But I couldn't work dressed without heels!