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Thread: Things have changed

  1. #1
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    Things have changed

    As many of you know, I told my wife I was a CDer last year. We set some groundrules such as she did not want to see me fully dressed. Then for some unknown reason last Christmas she bought me a Pink robe, Pink Satin PJ's and Pink fuzzy slippers. I have worn the Pink robe and slippers but not the PJ's as it has been too cold for Satin PJ's.
    Wife works once in a while at the local library and was scehduled to work the book sale one Saturday afternoon. Since she would be gone for about three hours, I deciede to get fully dressed and go shopping at the local ROSS store. As I walked into the garage, I came face to face with the wife. It turned out she got her time mixed and was slated to work the 3-6PM slot instead of 12-3PM slot. So I did not goto ROSS, she was mad at me, so we sat down at the kitchen table and talked for about an hour with me fully dressed. She did at one point comment that at least I was not dressed in a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, and 5" spike heels. I told her that that style was not me and the way I was dressed brought less attention and allowed me to blend it. She agreed that I did look better than she had thought I would. She agreed to modifing our ground rules. I still got one Saturday afternoon to do what I want ( she goes to water arobics that afternoon) and now I could have the times when she would work at the library too.
    Since then it has turned warmer and the past weekend, I started wearing my Satin Pink PJ's to bed. Saturday evening it was raining, so I decieded to get ready for bed early. So here I am with panties on, Pink Satin PJ's, Pink rob, and Pink slippers on wondering around the house, in front of my wife. Later I was on my computer and she was on hers, I mention that I was fully dress. She was quite for a few moments, then said, " I know, but at least you don't have your wig and makeup on". I then said, "Then would it be OK if I wore mabey a t-shirt and either pants or capries sometimes in the evening". She responed, "that might be OK".
    So I have been thinking that mabey the main reason she did not want to see me fully dress was she was afraid of how I would look to her. She is now compy with me wearing fem bed clothing and now she may allow me to wear some other fem clothing around the house is a breakthru. I am sure that she would not have let me even wear fem bed clothing last year. I still don't understand why she bought me the robe, PJ's, and slippers in the first place, but I am a happy camper that she now OK with me wearing and walking around the house with them on and soon I may get to opening dress even more fem.

  2. #2
    living life to the full Jamie M's Avatar
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    That's lovely news , sounds like your wife has come to terms with some of the issues she had with her comfort levels. It's nice when you feel as if a breakthrough has finally been made in these matters. I'm sure you won't but for anyone else in a similar postition may i just remind you all of my hard won experience. When someone has given you an inch , it's way way too easy to go and take that extra mile. So take a moment and enjoy your new found boundaries but play within them for a while and maybe let her come to enjoy it too. Slowly slowy is the key as always .

  3. #3
    Girl in disguise Emily Ann Brown's Avatar
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    Hubby in women's clothes is "He's a bit weird, but the man I love."

    Hubby presenting as a woman is something else sis.


    Emily Ann
    Living with a heel in each world.

  4. #4
    traceyanne traceyanne's Avatar
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    emily ann,
    you summed up my situation exactly. my wife if perfectly happy with me dressing in womens clothes, so long as they are tasteful and with a little makeup, but presenting as a woman is a no chance which im happy to go along with as i never have had the notion to do, she always jokes that i would make a hell of an ugly woman.

  5. #5
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    Emmily......I know, but still it is a great feeling. I fully aware that what I do has to be done slowly and with her OK. It does feel really good, knowing that a couple of years ago, I would not even been able to do what I am doing now.

  6. #6
    living life to the full Jamie M's Avatar
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    Sorry JoAnn , don't get me wrong , I'm really happy for you , it is a great step forward and it really must be a relief for you to be able to dress in your own home that way. It was only that i could tell there were a lot of maybe's in your first post that lead me to think maybe she wasn't too sure about it and that if you went too heavy it might scare her back into old ways. really i am happy for you and hope that's not the case , hugs

  7. #7
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    JuliaSmith......She seems to be getting more used to me. One of our past times in the warmer season is garage/estate sales. Sometimes you find a great deal, most times you don't. Sunday morning we went to the local Walmart and on the way back stopped at a garage sale. There were about 5 pair of heels for sale. Wife looked at them and then in a low voice told me they were my size (size 9). I looked at them and told her, "I don't like her style in heels". Wife remarked, "Yea, they are a little tacky". A year ago this would not have happened. LOL

  8. #8
    Member Joanna-Louise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoAnnDallas View Post
    " I know, but at least you don't have your wig and makeup on"..
    Its the same with my SO, only ground rule we set was she doesn't want to see the wig, but she is working on ways to get passed that fear.

    I think many SO's of Cd''s fear that they will loose sight of the "male" they fell in love with and met (in cases where the cd side was introduced at a later date). In time their acceptance does increase (info from reading previous posts...).

    Don't try and force the issues or push ground rules, as your So sounds pretty supportive and you don't wanna loose that side of it.

    Compromise is the key here, so have fun and and explore your fem side together at a pace that is good for the both of you.

    Jo
    xx
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    [SIZE=3]I had to come out of the closet, to make room for all my clothes...[/SIZE]

  9. #9
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    My initial agreement with my wife was the same as yours, but she has also become more open to my dressing and recently allowed me to be dressed fully, make-up and all for the entire evening in her presence. I wear woman's panties all the time, have shaved legs and painted toe nails and she is accepting of this, although not overly thrilled about the nails. We just got back from a trip to Chile and while waiting for a flight at the airport she told me about a necklace in one of the duty free shops and told me to go buy it for Alice. All of these changes have been over the past two and one half years.

    So enjoy the changes and I think that it will get a lot better. Just be patient.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Ruth's Avatar
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    JoAnn, I am so happy for you. It's a delicate balance, being out to your spouse, and having your CDing but staying in her comfort zone. Patience is the key word.
    I am at the point where I can dress as Ruth around the house three evenings a week (that's the whole works, wig, make-up, perfume, etc.). I would like more and have said so, but until she is comfortable I don't go any further.
    I hope and believe that she will gradually accept the femme side of me as equally her partner and companion as the male side.
    [SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]

  11. #11
    Gold Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoAnnDallas View Post
    ...they were my size (size 9...
    Gyod I hate you! Size 9?

    Anyways, the rest is good news. This is one of the most honest stories so far as to how a wife reacts well to CD'ing
    You are right though, I imagine most SO's imagine their CD hisband to be dressed in something that Mariah Carey wouldn't dare wear cause it is too ****ty.

    You taste of clothes is quite respectable and I imagine things will go well for you and your wife.

    And for everyone else who is haveing problems with their spouse, take JoAnn's story as an example of how things can get better with time.

  12. #12
    Gender Outlaw! vikki2020's Avatar
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    JoAnne, I'm glad to hear that things are moving in the right direction for you.Hope it only gets better!I see little cracks in the ice with my wife also,and it's only been about a year since I told her.I know it's a lot to ask of them, but I think that when they realize that they are not going to loose their "man",things start to get better.
    "And if you want some fun, sing Ob-Bla-Di-Bla-Da!"

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member
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    I'm very glad to hear it! I recently also posted myself that I was getting frustrated at not being able to dress. Since then my wife has shown her true understanding supportive self; I've been dressed a number of times, she's offered to buy me clothes, and she told me she doesn't want a sweater that I love of hers. When I admitted I liked it, she decided to give it to me and get me some matching items too

  14. #14
    Silver Member gennee's Avatar
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    Wow!

    [SIZE="4"]That's great news, JoAnn. I'm sure that you're relieved and feel freer to dress.
    My wife has thawed too. I have worn a skirt in the house the past two days and she doesn't seem to mind.

    Gennee
    [/SIZE]


    I'm getting better with age. I may have started late, but better late than never!

    "Don't let anyone define who you are".

  15. #15
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
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    Hi Joann,

    I've been following your progress ever since you posted some pics of you going for a drive in your SUV about 2 years ago.

    I must say, I am so happy for you. I think your wife perhaps was fearing the unknown (very normal) namely she just assumed that you would present as what she would perceive as an undesirable feminine image, but when she saw you she was "pleasantly surprised" at how you looked.

    I think even greater things are heading your way girlfriend, if things so far are anything to go by. Kudos to you for not pushing too hard and just taking it one step at a time

    Hugs
    Rachel
    .
    The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!

  16. #16
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your kind words and comments. It is amazing how wonderful it feels to be able to change into Satin PJ's, robe, and slippers and just lounge around the house, enjoy the fem feeling of it all, and have the wife Ok with it too. I think that in her mind, she was thinking "Drag Queen" and when she accidently saw me, she was surpised at how normal I looked. Thus her comment about the mini skirt, fishnets, and 5" heels.

    Last night I changed early into my panties, Pink Satin PJ's, robe, and slippers so I could jsut relax and lounge for a while before going to bed. While laying on the couch watching TV, wife asked if I would get her some desert. So i got up and got both her and I some. As I was eating mine and watching TV, I realized that my wife was OK with me being some what en fem and all of a sudden a lot of guilt and fear just seem to disappear. It felt so great.
    Last edited by JoAnnDallas; 04-29-2008 at 02:03 PM.

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