Lesbian fantasies

[Rachaelb64]

Maybe I'm slightly dim here..........

Some of you have stated that if you have sex with a woman 'en femme' then thats classed you as being a 'lesbian'.

Now if I have sex with a woman dressed as a man then thats hetro sex. If I have sex to a woman dressed as woman then that still hetro sex just kinky/fetish hetro sex not lesbian sex.

Hetro sex is male to female (female to male) with all kinks and fetish thrown in, ie, bondage, dress up games, role plays etc etc.....

Homosexual is male to male or female to female with all the kinks and fetish.

Or maybe I'm just being dim

[celeste26]

So much about sex is mental rather than physical. Our fantasies are purely mental and the idea of, not the physical part of it, is where this thread was going. Given the power of our minds to create all sorts of scenarios what goes on physically might not be going on mentally. It is not a simple scenario and cannot be dissected so easily.

Lastly given that there are two people involved both with their own expectations and ideas it is sometimes hard to know for sure and it may be that multiple pathways are true.

[KandisTX]

The thing I see is that the title of this thread is "Lesbian Fantasies", to me that means that we fantasize about being a woman while having sex with a woman while we are dressed en femme.

Yes, we are presenting as female, but genetically and physically, we are still male. While in your mind you can think/dream/imagine that you are a woman being made love to by a woman, the reality of the situation is that you are still male.

If I say to my wife "Make me feel like a woman", there is only so far she can take that FANTASY for me. Why? Because my body is not the same as a womans, I don't feel things the same as a woman would, my mind is not female even if I am presenting that by what I wear and attempt to present with my mannerisms and actions.

HOWEVER, one of the key factors to a HEALTHY and HAPPY life is to have a great imagination and the ability to fantasize. We all do it, in one way or another, and at one time or another it has been done during the act of having sex with someone.

Kandis
((I'm still a lesbian trapped in a mans body who dresses like a woman))

[CharleneT]

This thread has been very interesting, with intriguing answers and questions being discussed ! I love it ! When I first sought out a CD discussion board, one of the things I hoped to learn about was this sort of issue. My belief is that CD's are generally pretty loose about gender AND sexuality. I believe that, because to me they are linked. Sure, you can be a hetrosexual person who just likes to wear clothing etc of the opposite sex. But I think it is more common that the person under those opposite sex clothes is a mixture of sexualities and genders. You can look at it as a continuum, on which you fall somewhere. For me, I am sliding on that continuum and I cannot say for sure where I will stop. For years, under-dressing was all that I needed. Very satiating. Now, as I get older I desire more of a feminine persona as well as outer garb. Along with that is a change in my sexual outlook. I am bisexual and have been for my entire adulthood. Now though, I am seeing a more complex attitude developing in my reaction to different potential lovers. One aspect of that is indeed the "lesbian fantasy world" as discussed here. My fantasies in the past were always with me as a male and my potential lovers varied. There are times now where I dream of myself as a woman, with either a man or another woman as my sexual partner. This change has been slow, but speed up with my expanded dressing horizons. So, does that mean the dress makes the lesbian ? No, not at all. Rather it is the flexible sexuality does it. One thing is for sure though, we are all a lot more sensitive to the subtleties of sexuality and gender than the majority of the population.

Do all CD's have flexible sexualities ? I do not think so. I do think that it is more likely than with a more traditionally oriented person. As you grow in your experience of cross dressing (and transgenderedness in general) I think you will find it easier to contemplate alternative sexuality. You are after all playing with the outward expression of that, it would only make sense that you would ponder the inward expression as well. In some people case, I believe that for their own comfort, they deny those thoughts. Which is fine for them.

Getting back to the original post's questions, I agree that it is unfair to expect a GG who is strait to desire a mate that is a CD in their femme mode. Hopefully, those couples work out some way for each to enjoy what they desire, while respecting the others boundries. Even more I hope that they find a way to explore those boundries as it can be a rich territory of new discoveries !! If you start a relationship out with your SO knowing about your alternate dress etc, you will likely not have the potential problem we are discussing.

Charlene

[tracigirl_tv]

Is it just me or... most guys think its hot when two girls make-out and its disgusting when two guys make-out?

Well, as for me.....two people of ANY persuasion engaged in kissing is mucho caliente.

[DonnaT]

http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0...440933,24.html

[Pamela Julie]

I ignore the labels. I just like sex only with women, regardless of how I am dressed. I always feel like a woman on the inside, if you insist on a label, then in my mind, I am a lesbian. To the woman I am a hetero man. Most of all I am me!

Pamela

[Angie G]

DD My dream my be coming true as my wife may be OK with trying some dress up while making love. She is open to it bit not real keen on the idea. But at least she will try it.
Angie

[Susan.]

I think of it as being a heterosexual relationship. My wife thinks of it as being a lesbian relationship, but to tell the truth I think it her way of avoiding me while dressed. And then again I don't pretend to be a lesbian with her.

[annabellesmooth]

wow there so many cd's that are hetro
im of the oppion that if it feels good do it
im bi/in a gay relation??? or an i just a queer, and do dress up go out n have a ball (or 2)
have been with ggs but the big turn on is a cross dress lover found on the dance floor (a girl with the lot is best)
just a little crazy
out to impress
my self
hugs to all


(as a young fat teased guy...glasses buck toothed red hair n freckles... went to an all boys school n got cort kissen another boy, at 13yo not good... but im not the only one an i survived to blossom... 45 now n wish id hade the corrage 20 yrs ago)

[Phoebie Phoenix]

I like to think of myself as trysexual, as I am generally willing to try just about anything

I have had sex with both men and women, and both are extremely enjoyable activities. Never had the opportunity to do so while dressed (would LOVE to though - have a particular kinky fantasy with corsets, boots, whip etc ...).

Sex is what you make it however - just use your imagination and it can be anything you want it to be.

xxx

[deja true]

I'm thinking of changing my gender identity label from 'heteroflexible' to...

'hetero-curious'!

Any other bitches out there wonder what it's like to be a "real man"?

Might be a kick to try.....for a little while, anyway...







Nah!

[boy2girl31]

Being that most of us don't have the right equipment to be a lesbian I think the point is moot. Yet the desire to feel like a lesbian is one of the big fantasies for a lot of us. DD is correct though if the gg in question is straight then she will not take to well to our fantasies and we should then induldge her wishes for you never know what the future will hold with time and love you may get to act upon your fantasies but don't rush it let her decide when it is time if ever. The desire to fulfill a fantasy that your partner is not ready for could end your relationship. Be careful.

[Paularus85]

God I have hit the treasure trove of issues that I have been thinking about since I found my sweetie wearing panties the other day. I must confess that when I looked at him from the back i thouhgt the panties looked pretty good on him. I have told him that it was OK to wear them all of the time but I think he is waiting for the other shoe to drop. So far reading this forum I want to let him know that the other shoe just might be a 3 inch open toe pump in his size. Now I need to find out what his sizes are so that if we try this further I can buy him some presents.

[Alys]

I guess the issue that causes that kind of sentiment is that many people still identify as a male when they're dressed~ So to them, they're expressing their male heterosexuality through faux-lesbianism :3 It makes sense to them in that regard I suppose.

Personally, I am and have always been an identifier with pansexuality; that is to say that I love the person first and the gender second, as opposed to the other way around as is the so-called 'norm'.

[Emily Anderson]

Alys, I'm with you on this one, but only after many years of thinking the other way around.

[Bilinda]

Out of curiosity, where is she from that she actually uses the phrase "lipstick lesbian" to describe herself? Los Angeles?

HI there, I was reading this post again and saw this, sorry it's been a while. No she's from Orlando, Fl. She seems to use several terms for herself. Lipstick lesbian, fem lesbian and so on. She does not think any of them are disrespectful.

How do you see it as not being logical?? It seems perfectly logical and consistent to me.

She's attracted to women in general. In this case, she's still attracted to a woman. This particular woman she's attracted to just happens to have a transsexual history, and she hasn't had genital surgery (at least not yet). But she's still a woman, so you've lost me at how this is illogical or inconsistent.

Oh, I see what you mean. Your saying that this person was born a man physically, but mentally or whatever you want to call it is really a woman. So she is attracted to the woman within the man's body. Yes I can understand that when you put it that way.

However, If I met a transsexual woman that was still a man, as far as the body goes, I would have a hard time being intimate with her. Even though I think I have a bi-curious streak in me. But mentally I can see your point.

[Donna Michelle]

Is it just me or... most guys think its hot when two girls make-out and its disgusting when two guys make-out?

Most straight guys feel that way and some conservative girls. I don't think it is disgusting, but it doesn't turn me on. My wife has gay friends she wouldn't mind watching just as I wouldn't mind watching two girls make out.

It is funny that this forum has so many straight men who crossdress. I find it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to find straight crossdressers in my area. They are almost ALL gay! My CD friend Debbi lied and said she was straight just to be my friend. She knows I don't want to have sex with her, but we are still friends.

If I met a transsexual woman that was still a man, as far as the body goes, I would have a hard time being intimate with her.

I wouldn't be with someone with guy parts. Yuck! I don't even want MY guy parts. My friend Debbi will do anyone. You can ask her. She prefers men or CD men, though she is married to a woman (who doesn't know about the Debbi side or activities).

Whatever you like is fine for you and your partner(s).

[CharleneT]

It is funny that this forum has so many straight men who crossdress. I find it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to find straight crossdressers in my area. They are almost ALL gay! My CD friend Debbi lied and said she was straight just to be my friend. She knows I don't want to have sex with her, but we are still friends.

Well... I have noticed this affect in several different sexuality based user groups. I think it is true for all of American society. Basically it comes down to this: men, in general, fear admitting alternative sexual leanings much more than do women. Why that is I am not sure. Machismo ? Inherrent lack of self confidence ? Just slower than women to accept alternative roles in general ? Many possibilities other than these !! Whatever it is, they are unsure of putting it in print, but are willing to do "something".


Charlene

[MalibuJenny]

Our society is much more accepting of women that like other women than men who identify as being gay.

But of course, all these labels mean something different to just about everyone. Lots of CDers claim they like male attention when dressed to a greater or lesser degree but steadfastly insist they are straight. Same goes for all the guys that like t-girls.

In another thread I posted the Kinsey Scale which slides between being 100% straight to 100% gay. Studies show that very few people fall at the far ends of this spectrum, meaning that just about everyone has at least a passing fantasy of a same-sex encounter. For many CDers, just getting the attention of a man while dressed is thrilling and while that doesn't make you gay, it also puts you a couple of clicks down that Kinsey Scale.

Actions and preferences determine sexuality, not how you label yourself or others.

[MJ]

interesting thread thank you all . but i feel it's finding that balance and respect . whatever floats your boat .

[Julie York]

My friend Debbi will do anyone.

I've had her.

[Satrana]

Lots of CDers claim they like male attention when dressed to a greater or lesser degree but steadfastly insist they are straight.

I don't see any conflict in this statement. Being able to appreciate male attention to boost my female ego is separate from being sexually attracted to men. I would like female attention as well, anything to reaffirm what I feel inside.

After all dressing up and receiving attention is part of the parcel which attracts us to crossdressing. It gets boring real quick to only ever dress up for yourself. If you are going to spend lots of time and money on your presentation then you will want confirmation from others that you have done a good job and male sexual attention (or attention from a lesbian) would represent the icing on the cake.

And even if this were to lead to sex, again that does not mean the CD is gay or even bisexual. It is not that hard to have sex with someone you are not sexually attracted to but you are gaining something from. If you were a prostitute you are gaining money, if you are a heterosexual CD, you are gaining the "ultimate female experience". Sex can be a trade-off situation without the participant's sexuality being relevant.

Since everyone is potentially bisexual, CDing helps break down the socially contrived barriers to same sex relationships since the standard gender roles are thrown out of the window. CDing helps to broaden our perspective that gender and sexuality are not the black and white issues we were programmed to believe.

[switcheralso]

I can tell you that it is a change in motion I also stated that in my macho voice that I am heterosexual but like to be a female. Now I openly admit I am bisexual. If the continuum is the truth the next step will be I am just a homosexual. I have to just look into myself and answer the question with guts.

[Ayame]

The way I look at it is me myself I am not a lesbian but still a man. I don't pretend to act like a woman. I still act like myself I am naturally a feminine guy but that doesn't mean that I don't have any masculinity either because I feel I am an equal balance.

However any guy who wants to cross dress and wants their partner to accept it is wrong if they would not return the favor. Me myself I would do anything to support my SO if she wanted to buy a zebra I'd support her and if she wanted to dress different or become a ftm I'd support her if she wanted to become an astronaut I'm all ears. I'd support her no matter what. I find it greedy when people aren't willing to accept things but want their things accepted.

Sorry to say but most cross dressers are greedy people! Most of you expect or want your SO's to accept more than you ever will.

How would you feel if your SO dressed in an unappealing manner then expected you to have sex with them?

I wouldn't mind because I know she would do the same for me and a relationship is not about me or her its about working together as a team and doing things you both enjoy.