Do you have it?
I assume the majority of men posting here want to look, act and be mistaken for or, to pass as a woman. Those that don’t pass may have the ‘I-Don’t-Believe-It’ disease. Photos can be deceiving but so is your mind. How many times do you have to be told you are a pretty, sexy and attractive woman before you will believe it yourself?
Your problem is that you don’t believe anything. As soon as someone mentions a nice thing, doubt creeps in and you take the position of ‘I don’t believe it.’ You think, “My shoulders are too broad,” “my arms are too muscular,” “my waist is too thick,” “I’m too tall.” You see all your masculine features.
You don’t believe that when you are dressed as a woman everybody sees you differently than you see yourself. You look in the mirror and you see yourself as you always have, a man, a man wearing women’s clothing and make-up. You see an image of a woman looking back at you and you still think you see Jack, or Joe, or Ted, or Sammy looking back at you and you don’t believe you look like a real woman.
You get tons of compliments from other men on this site and it isn’t because they are gay. They are men just like you but they see you as a woman, not as a man dressed up. They are responding to you as the woman they see, as men have always done, as though you are nectar. Yet you are constantly yearning for confirmation, for feedback, for support, asking in a variety of ways for someone to tell you that you look sexy and attractive and feminine because you don’t believe it.
You find it weird and sometimes uncomfortable when you attract men, and that is because you have the ‘I-don’t-believe-it’ disease. It is a self directed disease that makes its home in the eyes. If your eyes are sick then how can you trust them? With sick eyes, how can you really trust that it is a woman in the mirror looking back at you? If what you see is a man with make-up wearing a dress then your eyes are the boss and that is sad because the eyes don’t have a brain and they don’t have a heart. Your eyes, ears, nose, and the mouth are all servants, but you have given them the job as boss. You have to control them with discipline and prevent them from convincing you that you are not a woman.
You will blend in and pass when you are no longer self conscious. When you know you look feminine, when you no longer think of yourself or see yourself as separate or different than any other woman. That is, when you are able to see yourself as others see you, with eyes that are not clouded with self doubt and fear.
You want so much to be perceived, accepted and respected as a woman. All this will be yours when you get rid of the ‘I-don’t-believe-it’ disease and begin to believe, to know.
Originally Posted by Anna Leavitt
I'm just really self-conscious in general.
